Chapter 9-Let Go
"Promises mean nothing." With an exhausted sigh Mariku fell back amongst the blankets. For a long minute no one said a word. Malik merely watched as a million emotions ran across his yami's face. When the Darkness finally did speak again it was more to himself than anyone else. "I'm not cold. Its astonishing." This was whispered with such childish reverence that Malik couldn't help thinking of an awe-struck six-year old.
For what seemed like the millionth time in the past few hours the Egyptian found himself being forced to look at Mariku from yet another angle. "Why is it so hard to believe?"
"Because..." The spirit's voice was sosmall Malik had to scoot even closer to hear. "...because the Priestess told me.Things like her ...like me... aren't supposed to escape, and She would know. She's been trying for a very long time."
"What do you mean? How long?"
Mariku gave as large a shrug as his protesting body would allow and looked away. "I don't know. As long as people have been able to hate, probably."
Malik felt his blood go cold. Without thinking he grabbed his yami's hand. "So She's like you?"
/...yes.../ The Darkness' eyes began to flicker shut as the need for sleep finally overwhelmed him. The last thing he saw before blacking out was a pair of toubled, violet eyes. The last thing he felt was the warmth of a smooth hand over his own. /Yes, hikari, I know what I am, and I am no threat to you./ There had been a time when he really believed he was the true Malik Ishtar, that though he had been born through pain he still had every right to claim the boy's body as his own, but Mariku no longer held stock in such fantasies. How could he control a body when he had no soul to fill it? 'That's why I was so unstable at Battle City,' he thought to himself. 'A fragment of someone else is in no position to take on physical form.'
Malik watched the darker blonde fall asleep, noting the sorrow that seemed to radiate from his mindlink. Why was Mariku suddenly being so open about his thoughts? 'It's because he has nothing left to lose... or maybe he just wishes he did.'
"What's it made out of?" Bakura gave the casserole a cautious poke.
"Peas, noodles, tuna, and cream."
Ryou hid another giggle as the spirit poked it again. "I thought you said there was meat in this?"
"There is. Tuna's a type of fish. You should know that by now, Kura." The Brit patted his own stomach encouragingly. "Come on. Its really good!"
With a dry sniff Bakura took a bite of the casserole. "Mmm...not bad yadounoshi. What are these crunchy things?"
"Bread crumbs."
"Bread?"
"Uh-huh." Ryou wondered briefly what Bakura would do if he knew how cute he looked at that moment, nose wrinkled in concentration as he tried to decipher the many flavors. "I used my sister's recipe."
The Thief looked up from his plate. "She cooked?"
"Yeah, all the time. Amane absolutely loved the kitchen."
"I see." Bakura stared blankly out the window, his food momentarily forgotten. Ryou saw that he was looking back, way back over aeons of of darkness and shifting sands. "My own sister...she also...," but the spirit's voice died off quickly, as if it had been a vivid thought and nothing more.
"She liked to cook too?" Just months ago Ryou would have never dreamed of asking Bakura such a personal question. He would have been beaten to within an inch of his life, but things were different now. Life was full of surprises.
The Thief nodded, his expression suddenly turning very hard. "One day I'll make him pay for their deaths! I swear to Ra I will!" He turned to Ryou, eyes blazing but still fixed on something very far away.
The Brit latched on to the other's arms, somehow hoping he could tear him from his vengeful thoughts. "No Kura! Please don't. You don't have to keep torturing yourself with guilt. It wasn't your fault, and it wasn't Yami's either! Why should he be punished for the sins of his father and uncle? Just let go..."
"As if you would understand!" Bakura shoved him away, and Ryou tumbled uselessly to the ground. Biting back the agony of his painfully wrenched torso, the tombrobber vented on the gentler boy. "Damnit, you're all the same! Why do I even bother? In the end you'll just leave me and go crawling back to the Pharaoh!"
"No! I'll never leave you!" With tears in his eyes Ryou gazed up at his darker half. "I don't care what they say! I don't care what you do! I'll always be here, Kura, ALWAYS!"
Bakura wracked his brain for a nasty retort, but it died instantly upon his lips. Was his hikari truly that devoted? "I'm touched, Ryou, but you should know something. I'll never let go." The Thief closed his eyes, unable to meet the Brit's anguished gaze. "I'm not like Malik. I don't forgive, and I don't forget. I'll keep fighting that Ra-damned Pharaoh until the day I die, and if you follow me... well then I'm afraid you'll end up dead as well."
"I don't..." Ryou stopped himself. He couldn't let the Thief know how he felt. Bakura loved Mariku, and nothing the boy said would change that. "I'm going for a walk. Be back in an hour." As he left, Ryou could have sworn he heard his yami begin to protest, but he didn't care. 'I have to get away. Just for a little while.' Slipping on his coat, the Brit walked out the door and into the bitter cold evening.
The teen wandered the streets aimlessly, allowing his feet rather than his mind to guide him. He just didn't get his darker half. Bakura was evil, devoted, brave, and psychotic all at once. "How did I fall for someone like that?" the boy murmured to no one in particular. "And how did I manage to lose him to someone like Mariku?" With a tired sigh, Ryou finally stopped walking and glanced up.
'DOMINO ARCADE'
The words were huge and eyecatching, each letter painted an brilliant acidic green. Having nowhere else to go the Brit shuffled up the steps and inside. The place was mostly deserted, the lack of people making it's brightly lit games seem over the top and at the same time kind of lonely. In fact there was only one other occupant in the entire arcade.
"Yugi?"
The shorter boy looked up from the pinball machine he'd been halfheartedly fiddling with and cried out in surprise. "Oh Ryou! How are you?"
The Brit offered a weak smile. "I've been better. How about yourself?"
"I can't really complain I guess." Yugi studied the other boy thoroughly. "Um... what's wrong?"
The Brit sighed and slumped down onto the stool next to his spiky-haired friend. "Nothing really...its just that Bakura...well he's getting better and all, but he..." The sob Ryou'd been holding back for hours suddenly spilt forth, and he cried against the other's chest. "...he just...hates...s-so much...and his eyes...they were horrible! Yugi...its like he wasn't even looking at me...like he was staring into the past...into something worse! I had to leave! If I hadn't I think his eyes would have driven me insane!"
Wrapping his arms around the taller teen's quivering shoulders, Yugi tried to find something to say. "It's okay Ryou, really it is. Bakura's anger wasn't directed towards you. You said so yourself."
"Yes, I-I know that. That hatred wasn't for me." The Brit drew a shaky breathe. "It was for your yami." Despite Yugi's frightened flinch, Ryou forced himself to continue. "After Memory World I thought he was over it. I thought he'd finally put the past behind him and learned to love the new life he'd been given, but even now Bakura can't find it in his heart to forgive Atemu. What am I supposed to do, Yugi? How do I make him understand that hurting others won't make anything right?"
The shorter boy was taken aback by the desperation in his friend's voice. Ryou really did want to save the Thief King. "I don't know what to tell you. I mean, how far would you go to save him?"
Grasping Yugi's hand tightly, the white-haired teen looked deeply into the other's eyes. "As far as I had to! I love him. I love him so much it makes me sick to think that by acting this way he's only bringing more pain upon himself! Whatam I supposed to do?"
A distressed look flashed across Yugi's face when the Brit said this, but he quickly covered it up."I guess you'll just have to be there for him. Remind him that there will always be good and beauty in this world, that he's only alone if he chooses to be. That's really all you can do. In the end only Bakura can decide to forget his hatred and accept a life without revenge."
Ryou stared in awe at the star-haired teen. And all along he'd thought Yami was the wise one. "I...I don't know if I can do this. I mean, this is Bakura we're talking about. He needs someone strong. I'm not like that."
"No," Yugi shook his head. "The tombrobber doesn't need someone strong. He needs someone who will follow their heart. That person is you, Ryou. He needs you to remind him that he's human."
The young Mutou's words rolled back and forth in his brain as Ryou trudged back to his house. He had to save Bakura. If he failed at everything else in his life, the Brit would at least have this one condolence. He would follow the Thief no matter what, and he would never let him fall. Yugi had said so himself. He was the only one who could. 'No, that's not true.' The thought hit so hard Ryou almost stumbled. 'Mariku's the one who reminds him that he's human, not me.' Mariku who was less human and presumably more insane than Bakura himself was the one thing that could bring the spirit out of his cold facade. 'I wish that was me,' the boy thought, a flare of jealousy welling up inside him. 'I wish I could be the one he held when no one else was looking. I wish I was the one he thought of every time he needed to forget his pain.' But no. That could never be. Ryou loved Bakura, truly he did, but it didn't matter.
The Thief loved Mariku.
But this didn't mean the Brit couldn't try to make his yami's life as comfortable as possible. Yugi's advice still proved valuable. Ryou would do everything in his power to make sure Bakura realized what a beautiful gift his new life was. Of course it would mean swallowing his pride first.
/Hey Kura/
There was a long silence, one that seemed to last for endless eternities, and then... /What do you want/
/Nothing...I'm coming home./
More silence. /...and.../
Ryou smiled sadly at the icy puddles beneath his feet. /...and I was wondering if you would like to go see Malik's yami sometime./
/When/ This time the tombrobber spoke not with hestitation, but with a sudden, feverish excitment.
/Whenever Dr. Katsume says you're fit to travel I suppose. So would you like to do that/
/...yes...hikari/
Ryou had just walked in the front door, but he spoke through the mindlink anyway. /Hmm/
/She would have loved your sister's casserole./
"I don't know what he sees in him. Honestly! That two-bit bandit's done more to harm him than anyone!"
Yugi pretended to be extra interested in the dishes he was washing as Atemu ranted on about Bakura. He was afraid the Pharaoh would see the secret hidden in his eyes. He couldn't repeat what Ryou had said. It would break his yami's heart, and enough hearts had been broken already.
"I mean, what has Bakura ever done to deserve such good treatment? Stole from innocent people! Killed them too!"
"I don't know." Yugi offered his dark a sympathetic smile. "Life's no very fair I guess."
Yami went over to the counter and began drying plates. "No, it most certainly isn't. Some people can work as hard as they want, be the best they can be, and still its always the undeserving bastard who gets the gold." The taller boy clutched the dishcloth tightly in his hand. His voice was so full of emotion that Yugi couldn't help but stop what he was doing and stare. "I shouldn't complain. Really I shouldn't... but I'm just so tired of being alone" The Pharaoh went back to drying the dishes, his mind so full of lonely thoughts he missed the injured look that fluttered across his aibou's face.
"Isee what you mean. No one should have to be alone."
-TOT (There you go. I don't really like this chapter. Its kind of boring, but the main reason for it was to set the stage for what is to come. Please R&R. I love comments.)