((A/N: finally updated. finally got to play the game actually.))

"This is a very confusing city!" Brian yelled, seeming as he had somehow ended up in a weird patch of sand. He wandered back through the streets till he came to an inn.

"Thank gawd!" he said entering and spotting a weird chick with off white purple hair.

"My name is Shannon, I stalk innocent little boys like yourself. If you ever need a pick-me-up, I'll always be in the nearest Inn." She said, then winked and smiled seductively.

Brian rolled his eyes, "Right… So basically you're just a dumb side character that has no real influence on my quest for the holy cookbook, or whatever I'm supposed to be looking for?"

"Exactly."

He sighed and walked up to the desk, "How much to stay a night?"

The old man twitched, "We don't charge."

"Then how do you make money?"

"We don't."

"So how do you get food?"

"It's free."

Brian looked at the man as if he were mad, "No wonder this world is going to shit! There's no money!"

"So that'll be one night?"

"Sure why not…is the hooker free too?"

Later that day Brian took a walk to the castle to see the king.

"I am King Scottfort. Go get my Earth Ball back from the mean guy with the bad hat and I'll give you my daughter Flora."

Brian pondered about this, "Is she pretty?"

"Not really."

"Smart?"

"Far from it."

"My age."

"Older."

"It's a deal!" Brian shook the kings hand and raced off to the forest to fight the guy with the bad hat.

So Brain made his was through the happy forest, fighting off strange frogs and dolls. Some how he made it to the end of a very long road, to see a very large door.

"Haha! This must be where he lives!" He entered and walked down into the evil lair.

Only to be meet with a pointless bad guy monologue.

"What's this? What business do you have in the castle of Salvaring, King with the really weird hat?"

"You call this a castle?"

"Shut it! I've been practicing this for weeks! Did that fool without the really big mouse on his head send you to come get my happy Earth Ball? Cause it's mine! I already made it a shoebox house!

And now I shall be King of Ugly Mouse Hats!

Mwahahaha!

And oh yeah, now I shall kill you so I can make new mittens!"

Battle time!

Brain started, hitting him with his stick.

2 damage.

Salvaring roared, exploding all the ground around him.

All but 2 damage.

"Damn it! Why can't I do cool attacks like you?"

"You can idiot! Press the yellow buttons!"

Brian tried that, "Wind thinger!"

The attack flew over Salvarings head, knocking off his hat and tossing it over the stage.

"NO MY HAT!" He yelled and jumped after it.

Battle over.

Brian stood there stunned for a second, "I won? I really won!"

Obtained Earth Ball.

"All right! Time to got get my Princess!"

Back at the castle, several days later…

"You actually did it? Holy crap! I just sent you to get rid- I mean, you have succeeded where my bravest knights have failed. It's just as The Grand Abbott foretold!"

Flashback, what really happened:

Grand Abbott, "Brian is such a dweb. He'll never amount to anything."

End flashback

"You now take that Earth Balland go play catch or something… Oh and take what ever you need out of the secret room that's door doesn't really look secret, behind me."

"Hey," Brian complained, "I thought I got your daughter?"

"Trust me. You don't want her."

Brian walked up the stairs, wanting to see the girl he almost had.

"Holy fuck, you're alive!" Flora said happily.

Brian ran, "AH, ugly boots! Blonde! Scared!"