Loss

by Brenda Peters

Disclaimer: All belongs to the ever-wonderful JKR.

Chapter Notes: Enjoy the chapter!

Chapter Six: The Shape That I Found You In

Harry sat on a large rock, his legs pulled up to his body and his arms wrapped around them. He was looking at his own body lying motionless on the ground, blood seeping from an unseen crack in the back of his head.

This must be what Malfoy was talking about, he thought. He could see his body lying there on the ground, yet here he was, sitting on a large boulder not 10 feet from it. He looked down at his hands. They looked solid enough, though he noticed there was almost this silvery glow to them.

There was a commotion from the cliff edge above him. He looked up to see Ron's head peering over the edge of the cliff, then followed by Dumbledore's. It was about time. It had still been dark when he had jumped. There had been a short period of null void where he had worried that he had just thrown away his life and died, but then he sort of woke up, if that's what you could call it, sitting on this rock around dawn. But, he supposed, he should be grateful they noticed at all. Hermione and Ron must have realized his absence at breakfast and then alerted Dumbledore.

Speaking of Dumbledore, he was now coming down a little worn path along the side of the cliff. He stood and looked at Harry's limp bloody body. There was very sad, melancholic look in Dumbledore's eyes and Harry felt a sudden pang of guilt about what he had done. He hadn't even thought about how this would make any of his friends feel. But he had to see Sirius; he had to help him find a way back.

Now Madame Pomfery was coming down the beaten path, looking quite worried. Following her was...Snape!

Why in God's name is he here? Harry thought. What does he care about my well being?

Madame Pomfery gasped and clamped her hand over her mouth when she saw Harry's body. Snape said nothing, but wore a shocked expression that was new to Harry.

'Albus, what happened?' Madame Pomfery breathed.

'It's unclear, but it seems he has attempted to take his own life.'

'Why?' Snape was speaking in a sort of strangled tone that was also something Harry had never witnessed of his Potions Teacher.

'That,' Dumbledore paused briefly, 'is unclear as well. I fear we may have over estimated Mr. Potter's coping mechanisms.'

'Coping? Coping with what? That whole fiasco at the Ministry?' Pomfery asked.

Dumbledore nodded. 'Harry suffered a loss at the Ministry that can never be replaced.'

Harry scoffed. He would find a way. He would bring Sirius back.

'It seems he is still alive, but barely. There may be hope for him still,' Snape added.

Instantly Madame Pomfery began magicking a stretcher and lifting Harry's body onto it. Harry sat for a moment looking at the pool of blood still left on the ground. It wasn't until he heard voices at the top of the hill did he break his reverie.

On top of the cliff and heading back towards the castle, Madame Pomfery, Snape and Dumbledore were joined by a sobbing Hermione and a rather dazed looking Ron and, much to Harry's surprise, a somber looking Draco Malfoy.

He must have been the one who knew I'd be here, he thought.

When they reached the castle, Snape left them to return to the dungeons in time for his next class and the rest of the party headed up to the hospital wing. Upon arrival, Madame Pomfery laid his body down on a bed and quickly began her work. Dumbledore, Malfoy, Ron and Hermione stood quietly observing him. Then suddenly Hermione burst out towards Draco, screaming at him.

'What have you done to Harry! What have you done!' She leapt on top of him in an attempt to tackle him to the ground and he made little effort to stop her. 'I'll kill you if you did this! Just because you hate him didn't mean you had to make him kill himself! How could you! Your sick, Draco Malfoy! Sick! You're worse than your father!'

Draco, Harry noticed, stopped moving at Hermione's last comment.

That's odd, Harry thought, I thought he wanted to be like his father.

Ron finally succeeded in restraining Hermione and Dumbledore said a few words to them and dismissed them to take the day off. Then he turned to Draco and asked him to go wait in his office. Draco walked slowly to the door and left. Dumbledore lingered only a moment longer and just before he left, he whispered 'I do hope you haven't given up on us yet, dear boy.'

Harry sat down on a spare bed at the end of the room. He noticed that as he sat down that the sheets didn't shift under his weight and sighed. There were a lot of things he needed to sort out. Like what he was going to do next. He wanted to follow Dumbledore and Malfoy and he also wanted to follow Hermione and Ron, but he had come here on a mission and he didn't know how long he had. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He had no idea where Sirius might be dwelling but he guessed Grimmauld Place was as good as any place to start looking.

He opened his eyes and he looked around wildly in confusion. He was no longer on a bed in the Hospital Wing of Hogwarts. He was in the parlor of Grimmauld Place, sitting on the dusty grey chaise lounge. He took a moment to adjust to his surroundings before getting up to explore. When he came to the kitchen he heard voices speaking. He wanted to go in but the door was shut and he knew that whoever it was in there, they surely wouldn't want him barging in like that.

Then Kreacher came bumbling through the door and Harry made a move to get through it, but he was about two seconds too late. Instead of slipping through the open doorway while the door was still open, he slipped through the door as it swung close. He took a quick look around the room to find that it was empty. Kreacher must have been talking to himself again. He turned back to the door he had just come through. It was still swinging slightly on it's hinges. He tentatively reached out a hand and pushed the door. Or at least he had meant to push the door. Instead of his hand meeting solid door, it passed right through the wood. He yanked his hand back and tried it with his foot.

Straight through. That can't be right, he thought.

Slowly he moved the rest of his body through the door. There he was in the hall again, the door behind him still as death.

Kreacher was at the end of the hall, shoving some of the candlesticks into his petty excuse of clothing. Harry thundered down the hall to Kreacher and danced around nosily in front of Kreacher. Or at least he tried to thunder down the hall and dance nosily. It was apparent that Kreacher could not only not hear him, but he couldn't see him as well.

He closed his eyes and imagined the second floor of the Black house. When he opened his eyes again, low and behold, there he was on the second story of the Black house. Cool, Harry thought. Harry started at one end of the hall and moved down, sticking his head through each door to peek at it's occupants. All of the rooms were empty, except for the second one to the end closest to the stairs. Inside, sitting on small red couch reading a book, was Remus Lupin. Harry almost bound up to him like a puppy dog does to it's owner, but remembered that it wouldn't be noticed anyway. He sat down next to Remus and peered at the book he was reading. Death Veils: What Are They and How Do They Work was printed in a neat silvery script on the front and spine of the rather skinny book. On the coffee table in front of them was a pile of similar books, including Death and How To Cheat It, The After-Life Experience, Famous Veils in History and one huge tome simply titled Death. Harry was touched. So he wasn't the only one on a mission to bring Sirius back.

'Harry?'

The voice sort of muffled, as if you were hearing it over a telephone, but Harry's heart began to flutter immediately. He slowly turned around to face none other than Sirius Black.