I decided to write a funny... yeah. I'm using my favorite center once again, Silent Hill, so expect hilarity to ensue. This involves ALL FOUR SH games in a jerry springer style show called 'The Ajinze Moreau Hour' yeah I know, I'm the host. Self insertion kind of. Oh, some people from Kingdom Hearts, Resident Evil, Final Fantasy all, and Kuon games will make appearences. Yeah... this is going to get weird.
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A woman in a baggy black hoodie and ripped up light denim jeans walks out, she has black circa sneakers and is wearing only small traces of make up. She has a very sober expression and long auburn hair tied back in a ponytail. her blue eyes search through the crowd as she walks down onto a dark stage. as the lights flicker on music pours through and the crowd starts shouting- she looks up and smiles- catching a microphone as someone tosses it at her. Waving an arm she blows a kiss towards the west center section and winks.
"HELLO EVERYONE! Welcome to the show, today we---"
She is cut off as an audience member dives forward shouting "AJINZE I LOVE YOU!" she takes a step back and watches him land at her feet. Quickly she pulls out a .45 calibur gun and blasts him one- the cadaver lays in a bloody mess, and the audience goes wild. she looks up, some blood has splattered across her face.
"On Todays show our guests complain that they just can't get enough or are getting too much love... welcome to; Gods, Dead Wives, and Umbilical chords!"
She takes a stand back and looks around, a rather bland woman walks across the stage. She is barefoot, and her clothes are a drab dark blue- she has no makeup and her greasy looking hair falls around her face. she takes a seat and looks around, the crowd is silence. Our lovely host is leaning against a pillar spinning the gun around her hand as she chuckles-
"I see cleanliness isn't something your church preaches, well anyway, welcome to the show. Why don't you tell us why your here... eh... Claudia?"
Claudia just looks down at her hands.
"Well you see my sister, Alessa, was taken from my church by a man..."
Claudia is cut off when a gun shot resounds through the crowd, our lovely host is pointing her gun in the general vicinity of several people dressed up as gangsta's. They shoot back and our host doubles her weapons, dropping the microphone and and pulling out a 10mm beretta. She blasts shots and a bullet whizzes by her head. Her eyes narrow and she caps direct shots into their heads. The audience is going wild with cheers, as the dead gangsta's are pulled off stage the host tuckes her gruns into her front pocket and clears her throat. She picks up the microphone and smiles-
"Uhh, sorry, a few zombies escaped into the crowd. Anyone who was bitten or scratched should report to the green room from immeadiate exter-- I mean treatment."
Claudia nods and continues.
"Well I went to get her back and she's adopted this new identity... and well she just... SHE DOESN'T LOVE ME!"
A crying baby noise is heard in the background, the host looks around irritated and waves her hand. The audience is silent and our host puts her head in her hand.
"This breaks my non-existent heart. I used to have a friend like that... then I beat her ass into the pavement. Now she's not my problem."
Claudia pauses and a doorbell rings, from the door bursts Heather. She runs down the stairs and points a gun at Claudia. Heather has been crying, she has blood, grime, and filth stains. The host watches as Heather persists to pounding several bullets into Claudia. The host stares and scratches her head, watching as Heather cripples to the ground and begins screaming. The host walks over and presently begins kicking the fallen Heather. As she kicks a small, deranged, and twisted little fetus is splattered- the host stares and catches herself from asphyxiating. Heather rolls over and the host pops a shot into her head with the .45, then stares at the fetus. Looking around she presently grabs the dead fetus and smiles-
"HEY LOOK AUDIENCE! I did an abortion... something I didn't plan."
Just before the baby hits the rim of a trash can nearby a large ugly monster runs out, catching the fetus and running off with it. The host stares and looks at her cue cards-
"ON WITH THE SHOW! Bring out our next guest, a miss Maria"
Maria walks on stage, she is in a pink micro mini, black fishnets and black heels. She has a tight fitting black tub top, her hair is down and about shoulder length. she smiles and blows kisses at the audience. The hosts eyes pop out of her skull and she collapses. She begins drooling and regains her composure quickly. She wipes away the drool and whistles-
"So tell us Maria, why are you on the show and where are you going afterwards?"
Maria stares and looks, crossing her right leg over her left leg she exposes herself in a lewd fashion. The audience goes wild and the host is seen being carried away on a stretcher. The audience looks around and we hear "CLEAR" being shouted, the host is sent flying out of the ambulance and lands on the ground. she flails briefly and stands. dusting herself off she nods and Maria begins to speak.
"Well, I was saved by a man, James Sunderland, and we connected in way that are... inappropriate to say but, you see he has to get over his dead wife-"
Maria is cut off by a woman in a longer proper dress, her hair is tied back and she is very pretty but hides behind a house-wife appearence. She storms on stage and snaps a finger, taking a seat next to her with a small blonde girl at her side. The little girl sticks her tongue out and makes teasing gestures at the host. Our lovely host holds out her 10mm and points it towards the girl, who ducks behind the new woman. Maria scoffs and the other woman stares...
"I'm not dead bitch, hi ajinze, my name is Mary and I'm James' wife. You see I 'died' three years ago but really I was just shipped to Silent Hill and brought to life by the magic of the town. I came to stop this temptress from taking my husband."
The host nods and makes a purring noise, she mumbles to herself- 'I'll gladly go with the temptress' a few people look at the host as she shakes her head and sighs.
"I mean... uh... thats horrible. So I guess the only thing we can do is show you what happened backstage with Maria and James reunited."
- CAUTION THE FOLLOWING CONTENT IS A GRAPHIC SEX SCENE, SHOULD YOU WISH TO SKIP IT THEN SCROLL DOWN UNTIL YOU SEE '-------------- END'
The giant television behind them flickers on. We see James walk in and sit down, he begins mourning Mary and crying. As James begins mourning Maria walks into the room, she rushes over and drops to her knees in front of him. she reaches out and holds his face, looking up she begins whispering inaudibly. James looks at her with tearful eyes and whispers- 'Mary'. He drops down and grasps her in his arms, holding onto her her waist. His arms wrap around her and she leans against him. He feels the warmth of her skin, he feels secure. Maria begins to caress the back of his neck, James feels need. He feels her touch and opens his mouth against the base of her neck. Her grasps her flesh and bits gently, tenderly nibbling at the base of her neck. She feels it too, need and security, she moans and whispers his name, her breath escaping as she quivers. Her lips touch his neck and he exhales deeply, she massages her hands across him and under his shirt feeling his every muscle. Her touch is like fire beneath the icy cold of his skin. It excites him, their lips meet, they rip and pulls, grasping every inch of clothing between them. It rips off and it tears, their excited breaths catching and the heat builds. Their fingers race across each others bodies and their touches becomes more so aggressive. James' hand reaches across her abdomen and massages her, his fingers working in and out. She moans, her body arched as she positions her herself leaning against the couch. His hands become warm, slick with her very own fluids, he drags his free hand up, clasping her breast as he bites and nibbles her neck. She is moaning and he grunts, his phallus erect. Her hands reach, grasping as she squeezes and massages him with her hand. The other is used to stabalize herself as she thrusts her lower body forward. He pulls his hand up, clasping her other breast as he extends himself forward. She brings her hand up and catches her other, holding him around his upper chest as his phallus meets her entrance. He pushes into her, his hips thrusting as he continues to suck, bite, and nibble at her neck. James moans, and Maria whispers in husky voices, we see this continue for minutes. James picks her up, tossing her body across the arm rest. He pulls her back some so her stomach is flat on the arm rest of the couch and her face in towards the pillows. He stands behind her, his tool yet again enters her, his thrusts are harder, more aggressive. She moans into a pillow and his hands clasp herhips tightly, he feels her muscles contracting around him- he feels the need. She rolls, her body separating from his as she bends to her knees, her mouth clasps him as she begins to working her tongue around. From the side we see Pyramid Head enter, he looks at them, his sword is placed aside and he moves over to Maria and James. As Maria's tongue works across James the creature behind her pulls its rather lengthy and oddly thick looking phallus out. Its hands grasp Maria's hips and place them upwards over a leg rest. It lowers itself and takes to moment, stabbing into her, she moans and continues with James and the creature. James cries out in ecstasy, Maria whines, her insides tightening as the thing continues thrusting, it digs harder. She wraps her legs around it, screaming in pleasure as James lays back, placing a hand over her head and shoving her down onto him. The heat is bursting and the creature suddenly plunges hard, causing her to release and squeal. James is grasped by another creature- a nurse. He goes willingly, away from Maria as he pulls the creatures skirt, parting the cloth away fron her breast. He sinks himself into the nurse, the creature silent as James molests its breasts with his mouth and hands, his tongue flickering over. Maria's voice squeals as the pyramid headed monster thrusts into her one last time, we here her breathing shallow as the creature pulls back. Blood in brought out with it as the creature stares and propmtly exists the room. Marias crawls forward, her body lurching over James as the nurse suddenly expells him, walking away, James stares at Maria. His erection still hard, but he has not long- Maria is grasped roughly. James holds her as she breathes, he moeans slightly as she lays back, he lays over her. Her legs wrapping around him and clenching his sides, he pushes himself into her again, for minutes they lay together, fluids mixing and each thrust with a delayed pause, finally we hear James moan his last and He lays silent. Their bodies mashed together. Maria looks up at him- "Baby, we never used a condom." he flinches, and he smiles, his words are repetitive- "Don't worry, I'm real and i'm here for you." the screan goes dark.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------- END OF SCENE.
The audience is shocked and Maria purrs happily, Mary is covering hers and Laura's eyes- the host is missing. We see movement behind the curtain and suddenly we hear 'I will call you later...' followed by the host exiting the curtain and pulling her hair back up in a ponytail. Swedish soccer hunk Fredrik Ljungberg is seen running off towards the exit door naked, the host looks around and takes a breath.
"What a graphic... experience. Um, Maria- you are aware that umm... you where umm... FUCKED by PYRAMID HEAD!"
Maria nods and looks around, Mary has collapsed and Laura has died of a heart attack. The host watches as Laura is tossed in with the rest of the bodies, Mary struggles for air and gathers herself, flinging her show towards Maria she begins screaming. Her arms flail and she becomes engraed, we hear the doorbell and in walks James who is immeadiately booed and applauded. The host cringes and stares at them, the microphone drops from her hand and she pulls out her .45... the gun is clutched as she points it to herself and sobs. The host looks around and puts the gun away, clearing her throat and looking over and Mary begins kicking and punching James, screaming profane words and attempting to attack him. Maria sits back and watches, Mary is separated as James make his way over to Maria and sits beside her, he kisses her and looks around. Mary is placed in a straight jacket and set aside while she begins foaming at the mouth. the host picks up her microphone and catches her breath.
"So James, as we can see... you are... happy to see Mary alive and well."
He shakes his head and grins-
"No, I'm happy for Maria to be alive... and you."
"Me? I'm the host you can't touch me- I'll fucking pop a cap in you."
"Oh, well, don't get rough baby- trust me, I will."
The host cringes and looks around for safety. James approaches and the host pulls out her guns, the microphone is traded for a head set microphone which is placed on the host by stage crew. The host continues weilding guns at James and stares as he backs away slightly. Her eyes narrow and she watches him take his seat, he winks at her and she looks in utter disgust. Her eyes crossing the audience as she repositions herself next to a silver haired mysterious man. He has one wing and is dressed in armor of some sort. Next to him going down the row is the rest of the FFVII crew, plus the rest of the characters from the FF series. Setzer smiles and blows kisses at Yuna who is cuddling Tidus. The Host looks around and mumbles- 'what the fuck? Am I at a convention?' we see her looks back at James who is staring her up and down, Mary is still foaming.
"You know what James, its because of men like you that I am a LESBIAN."
The host is aggravated, she stares down as is amazed as the silver haired man stands up and grasps her around the waist. He leans her back and stares at her, she is melting.
"Would you go straight for me..."
She drools and shakes her head rapidly, her breathing gets heavy and she is placed back on her feet, he sits and hands her paper. She walks down and leans against a pillar, calm as ever.
"So back to the love triangle... um is it even a triangle, I think its like a dodecagon. So, James is obviously staying with Maria and Mary is---"
The audience is hushed as Mary dies and rots in front of them, her body lights afire and her ashes suddenly vanish. Maria looks around and wraps a finger around James, they exit together and the host looks around. Looking at her cue cards she puts her head down...
"Theank god, finally, A COMMERCIAL."
END CHAPTER ONE.