Japanese:

Itsumo: Always/Forever
Suki dayo: I like you (a more reserved way to tell someone you like them.)
Aishiteru: I love you

Chapter 4: Unintended Admission

Ban does not lift his eyes from the clumps of fabric strewn on the floor.

Wannabe Monkey Trainer. Damn bastard. No one has ever humiliated Midou Ban
like that before. If there was any humiliating to be done, you can be damn well sure
that Midou Ban was the one doing the humiliating.

It wouldn't have been so bad if Wannabe Monkey Trainer had just attacked him.
Punched him or something. Even injured and with his trump card spent, Ban could
put up a damn good fight by sheer willpower, instinct and stubbornness. He wasn't
called a fighting genius for nothing.

But almost getting rap… assaulted… like that was the most humiliating experience
he could imagine. Especially because he never told anyone that he was still a virg…

Ban thoughts are interrupted by the feeling of Ginji's hands. Sensing that Ban was growing
more troubled with each passing breath, Ginji had moved from just rubbing Ban's back
to stroking anything he could reach… back, hair, neck, arms… in an effort to comfort him.
It was working.

As Ginji's ministrations ease the fight out of Ban, the tired brunette forces himself to relax
in his blond partner's embrace. It all felt so good. Ginji's warmth. Ginji's soothing scent,
like a summer storm. Ginji's light affectionate touch. Most of all, Ginji's expressive soulful
eyes and joyful smile. Ban couldn't remember the last time he actually enjoyed being held.
He wasn't sure he ever enjoyed it before. Somehow, though, it was different with Ginji.
A lot of things were different with Ginji. Ban usually bristled at even the slightest touch,
but somehow he didn't mind Ginji's frequent glomping, despite how much be protested
outwardly.

If Ban could be completely honest with himself, he actually really enjoyed Ginji's touch.
Even missed it, when Ginji was off to see his friends. In fact, despite being a fearless,
invincible, battle genius, there was one matter where Ban was a complete coward. He
often wondered to himself if he would ever get the courage to touch Ginji back the way
he longed to.

Ban lets out a long sad sigh and thinks to himself, "Ginji, I just... I wanted... want...
my first time... to be with... you…"

Hearing the sound of his own voice startles him.

Realizing what he just said sends Ban into a panic.

Shit! Did he just say that out loud! Shit! Shit! Shit! He couldn't take it back. Pretending
he didn't say anything wouldn't work either. Maybe Ginji didn't hear him? Ban stares
at the floor, cursing himself inwardly for what he just said. His heart races as he wonders
if Ginji heard him and, if he did, how Ginji would respond to his confession.

Ban feels Ginji's body become tense for a long moment then draw away from him slowly.
Trying to contain his distress, Ban mashes his eyes shut and holds his breath. He shudders,
afraid to lose the only light in his otherwise endlessly dark and hollow existence…

Oh, God. Please don't leave me, Ginji.

Then a hand gently lifts his chin. Ban opens his eyes hesitantly. Cerulean meets chocolate.

"Me, too… Ban-chan."

Ginji casts his eyes downward, blushing slightly.

"I… I think I… I'd really like it if… if my first time were with you."

Timidly, Ginji raises his eyes and gazes longingly into Ban's eyes, studying every nuance
of his partner's expression.

The look in Ginji's eyes takes Ban's breath away. Ban did not think it was possible for
a gaze and a smile to contain that much love, devotion, and hope.

Slowly, Ginji leans forward and places a feather-light kiss on Ban's lips. Ban presses into
the kiss and wraps his arms around Ginji's neck, tangling his fingers into silky blond spikes.
The kiss is slow, soft and full of unspoken desire and affection. Ban savors the warmth
of his partner's lips and the caress of his breath against his own lips.

Gradually pulling away from the kiss, Ban nuzzles his head in the crook between Ginji's
neck and shoulder. Ginji can feel the smile on Ban's lips tickle his neck.

"Stay with me tonight?" Ban pleads, suddenly feeling uncharacteristically vulnerable. Did that
just come out of his mouth? Ginji must be rubbing off on him. Ginji was always better at this
touchy-feely stuff.

"Itsumo, Ban-chan. I'll always be with you." Ginji whispers into his ear, stroking Ban's hair
and lightly kissing his cheek as he lifts Ban off the couch, presumably to carry him to his room.

Normally his ornery self would gripe because Ban absolutely loathes the loss of control involved
with being carried, but there… in that moment, as he looks up at Ginji and feels warmed by the
gentle smile greeting his gaze, his stubborn nature takes a back seat to his desire to be comforted
by the man he lov…

Shit! Was he really about to use that word? Ban thinks about it for a moment. It seems strange
to even be thinking it. And yet, the word fit the moment. Yes. In that moment, what Ban wanted
more than anything in the world was be in the arms of the man he loves… to be held by Ginji…
and fall asleep feeling that warmth… both the warmth of Ginji's electric blanket body and the
warmth of Ginji's tender soul.

"I'll never leave you, Ban-chan." Ginji's words, whispered lovingly right next to his ear, break
Ban out of his reverie "Because I believe in the 'S'… and I believe in you."

Ban sighs, this time not sadly, but hopefully. Because the 'S' means we will never be alone,
Ban thinks to himself as Ginji carries him into the bedroom and closes the door.

"Suki dayo … Ginji."

"Aishiteru… Ban-chan."

OWARI