Loss

by Breninblack

Disclaimer: All belongs to the ever-wonderful JKR.

Chapter Notes: I was bombarded with reviews when I opened my inbox today and it melted my cold, cold heart. I love all of you who reviewed and personal review replies are at the bottom. Enjoy the chapter!

Chapter Eleven: Back For A Taste Of Your Love

Hermione Granger usually spent most of her free time in the library. She found it was ten times more productive than sitting in the Gryffindor common room, trying to concentrate over the noises of her house mates having fun. In the library she found it easier to complete her homework with ample time to get through the long list of recreational reading she had made for herself.

However, things were not as usual. One of her best friends was in a self-induced coma and the other was getting increasingly reckless with every passing day that first said best friend was asleep. It was a tiring process and she was growing weary. So in response to the unusual circumstances, she began spending as much of her free time in the hospital wing as Madame Pomfery would allow.

So that's why late Tuesday night, Hermione Granger could be found at the bedside of the comatose Harry Potter.

She knew that Madame Pomfery would be in soon to tell her to go to bed, but she was so tired that she thought it couldn't hurt to just rest her head next to Harry for a few minutes. She wouldn't let herself fall asleep. She still had homework to do that night . . .

Hermione was woken by some softly stroking her hair. She didn't remember falling asleep, but the last time she had looked outside it was still light out. It was now dark.

Hermione sat up groggily and looked around her. Madame Pomfery was no where to be found, Harry was looking at her with open eyes and the ward was empty . . .

Harry was looking at her with open eyes.

'Oh!' was all she managed to get out before throwing herself at Harry and giving him the best hug he'd ever received. In no time at all, she was crying, tears spilling out of her eyes like dams had broken loose.

'Harry. Oh Harry oh Harry oh Harry!' was all she could say. She wanted to say more, but her brain just wouldn't function properly.

'Hermione. Er, you're kind of suffocating me,' Harry managed from underneath her.

'Oh, I'm sorry, Harry. Oh, I'm so glad you're awake. I really thought we were going to lose you,' she said, sitting up in her chair properly. 'You were starting to get paler as every day passed. Like you were fading away, or something. I was so scared, Harry.'

Harry couldn't stand to see her cry so much, so he scooted over to one side of the bed to make room for her. She gladly climbed in and snuggled up to him.

'Why did you do it, Harry?' she asked after a while.

'I had to Hermione. There was no other way to get Sirius back.'

'What are you talking about? Harry, Sirius is dead.'

'No, he's not. I've just come from talking with him.' He slowly realized that Hermione had no idea that he'd been talking to Draco before he'd jumped and all of the chaos and confusion that had followed. He explained about what Draco had told him before he'd jumped; seeing Sirius again; meeting Gus and Søren; the information he had learned about veils; and the device that would hopefully bring the lost souls back.

'So that's how Malfoy knew where you were. I thought he had set you up to kill yourself and I kind of attacked him.'

'I know. I was there. In spirit, that is.'

'So, there really is another plane of existence? I've read about things like that in passing, but I never thought there was any truth to them.'

'I've come back because I'm going to try to bring Sirius and Søren and Gus back. It'll be dangerous, I know. But before you go scolding me about not getting into trouble, let me just say that this is something I have to do. I couldn't live with myself if I didn't at least try.'

'I know, Harry. I understand. But that doesn't make me any less worried. You'll be careful, won't you?'

'Of course. I think I might ask Draco to come with me. I promised Søren that I would take someone else with and Draco is his brother, after all.'

'Since when do you call him Draco?'

'Since there were two Malfoys,' he said quickly. 'But I also don't see the point of carrying on the rivalry anymore. I don't think that Draco feels the same way about his father's choice of lifestyle as he used to. There's no need to continue fostering grudges on pretenses that don't exist.'

'Ooh, look who's the big shot now, using big words,' Hermione teased, playfully shoving him.

There was a sudden clatter of glass and tin that caused Harry and Hermione to both jump. Madame Pomfery had dropped the tray she was carrying and was hurrying over to Harry's bedside.

'Out! Out!' she scolded Hermione. 'Make yourself useful and go fetch the Headmaster!'

Hermione scrambled out of the bed and out of the infirmary, winking at Harry as she left.

Ten minutes later, she returned with Dumbledore and Ron. Madame Pomfery was not pleased at the sight of another student.

'Albus,' she began. 'We really shouldn't have any other students in here until visiting hours.'

'I don't think it could hurt if they had a few minutes to chat.'

'Alright. Five minutes and that's all.'

Dumbledore and Pomfery left the room and there was an awkward silence.

'I'm glad you're back,' Ron said finally. 'It was getting out of hand while you were gone.'

'You were getting out of hand,' Hermione pointed out.

'Was not!' Ron protested.

'You were skipping classes, neglecting homework, getting in trouble all the time.'

Ron looked sheepishly at Harry. 'Like I said, I'm glad you're back.'

'I'm glad to be back,' Harry replied.

Just then, Pomfery came bustling back in, followed by Dumbledore. She shooed away Ron and Hermione and began poking and prodding him. When she finished, she stepped back and looked from Harry to Dumbledore.

'Right. He should be back on his feet in a week's time,' she said, before bustling back out of the room.

Dumbledore sat serenely at the side of the bed, gazing at Harry.

'I suppose you'd like me to explain why I did it,' Harry said when he could no longer stand the silence any longer.

'Not unless you feel it necessary. I have spoken with Draco Malfoy and I have gathered a pretty good idea myself.'

'What did he say?'

'That he thought you went in search f your godfather,' Dumbledore said simply.

'He thought right,' Harry replied. 'And I found him. Did Draco tell you anything else?'

'He spoke of his brother and a man named Gus.'

Harry blushed, though he wasn't sure why. 'I met them, too. We spoke for quite a while. About veils and the spirit world, that is. They told me they have a device that could bring back the lost spirits.'

'I find that most interesting. Please, elaborate.'

'I don't know much about it, actually. But I do know that you have to be in your body to use it. That's why I came back. They said they would owl it to me.'

'From the spirit world?'

'Yeah. I guess you can send anonymous messages through owl post.'

'Peculiar,' said Dumbledore, steepling his fingers. Harry sat up against the headboard.

'Professor, have many people fallen through the veil?'

'It's hard to say. I believe the Ministry has kept a record of the victims that have fallen since the veil has been in their possession. However, I understand that the particular veil in question was in the hands of Voldemort before the Ministry acquired it, so it would be very difficult to ascertain an exact number. And I doubt that the veil in the Department of Ministries is the only one. Why do you ask?'

'I was thinking that if we knew who had been pushed through the veil by Voldemort we could bring them back and they could help us fight the war.'

'If Voldemort has used the veils as much as I suspect, that number could be a significant assistance. Perhaps you may want to speak with Mr. Lupin. He is a skilled researcher and he has been looking into veils quite a bit since Sirius fell. Together, with the information you gained from the elder Malfoy son and his partner and the knowledge Remus has gained from his research, you may prove to be a powerful think tank.

'Now it is late. Poppy will have my head if I keep you awake any longer. I'm glad you have decided to rejoin us, Harry. It would have been a terrible blow to us all if you had not returned. And not just to the war effort.'

€€€€€

The next morning Hermione showed up bright and early with his school bag and a stack of papers. She presented them to him with a smile.

'Here. I've been going around to your teachers and collecting your homework. It's not too much and it's not even all of it because a lot of teachers were willing to exempt you from your work. You're lucky they like you.'

'You didn't have to,' he said, taking the stack of papers.

'It was nothing,' she said, sitting down.

'No, I mean you REALLY didn't have to. Dumbledore already came by this morning to tell me I was excused from all work until I go back next week.'

'Oh,' she said, looking quite put out. 'I was only trying to be helpful.'

'And I love you for it.'

'Is there anything else I can do? Something I can get you?'

'I'm fine, 'Mione. Really.'

'Are you sure? I can come back during lunch. And I could sneak out of Wizarding World History; Binns won't notice I'm gone.'

Harry laid a hand across his forehead.

'What's wrong? Are you alright? Should I get Pomfery?' Hermione asked worriedly.

'No, I'm fine. I was just checking for a fever because I thought I was hallucinating Hermione Granger telling me she'd skip a class for me,' he said with a smirk.

'Harry! This is no time to joke! You don't know what kind of lasting damage's been done to you!'

'Really,' he chuckled, 'I'm fine.'

'Well, if you're sure . . . ' she trailed off. A few silent seconds lapsed and then Hermione began chuckling, too. 'I suppose you will be alright. Madame Pomfery is going to let you out in a week, after all.'

'And you'd hate to miss taking all those notes,' Harry added.

'Yeah, that too. Well, I should get going. Are you sure there's nothing you want?'

'Actually, could you send Hedwig up here? I think it's about time I sent Remus a letter.'

'Sure thing, Harry.'

True to Hermione's word, Hedwig appeared half an hour later. Harry had already written up a letter to Remus, telling him he was doing fine and asking him to come by the castle as soon as he was able. He sent it off and promptly fell asleep.

€€€€€

The next week flew by fast. His fellow Gryffindors made plenty of visits and he received owls from Mrs. Weasley, Tonks, Remus, Kingsley Shacklebolt and a few other members of the Order. The Twins had even sent a package of all their latest products, most of which he had given to Ron.

On Sunday morning, he was woken by Madame Pomfery bustling about beside his bed.

'What are you doing?' he asked blearily.

'Cleaning up your flowers, that's what! You can't expect me to keep them after you've gone, can you?'

'Gone? Oh! I almost forgot! Today is Sunday. I get to leave today!'

'Yes, you get to leave. Now hurry on down or you'll miss breakfast!'

'But I haven't got any clothes,' he said. He most certainly did not want to be seen at breakfast in school pajamas.

'I had the house elves bring you up some proper clothes. One elf in particular seemed quite keen to help you. Atrocious English, but he got the job done.'

Harry smiled and climbed to the end of the bed. The clothes that had been picked out for him were probably the most unmatched pieces he had: a bright yellow hand-me-down shirt from Dudley, a pair of dark green trousers and the ugliest purple socks Dobby had given him for Christmas last year. He could almost hear Dobby saying, 'I picks Harry Potter's best clothes, sir!'

After he had dressed in the Infirmary bathroom, Harry returned to his bed to thank Madame Pomfery.

'Wait, don't throw that away,' he said as she picked up a rose to be discarded. It was a beautiful white rose and Harry couldn't remember who brought it up. 'Do you know who it's from?'

'I'm here to take care of you. Not to monitor your incoming gifts. But I imagine that it's from a secret admirer,' Madame Pomfery said irritably.

'I think I'll keep that, thank you,' he said, snatching the rose from it's vase.

Ten minutes later, Harry sat down for breakfast at the Gryffindor table for the first time in weeks. His fellow Gryffindors were all glad to have him back and were making sure he knew it by including him in all of their conversations, regardless of whether he had an opinion on the latest issue of Witch Weekly or all the gossip that had circulated since he had fallen.

As his friends discussed their homework, Harry glanced over at the Slytherin table. Draco was seated at the very end of the table, far away from his friends. He quietly sipped at his pumpkin juice and stared off into space. When he realized someone was staring at him, he looked around and his eyes landed on Harry.

For the briefest moment, they held eye contact, but then Harry blushed furiously and looked away. He was going to go mad if he had to have class with the blonde boy.

Hermione and Ron, who seemed to be getting along much better, waved goodbye to the rest of the group, who had elected to head out to the quidditch pitch so Dean could teach them how to play football. Harry noticed the look of longing on Ron's face as he watched his friends go on without him.

'Mate, it's alright if you go out and play with them,' Harry said to him. 'It's not like I'm going anywhere.'

'Really? Are you sure you're not going to go top yourself off?'

'I'm sure.'

Ron glanced at Hermione and with a long-suffering sigh, she said, 'Alright! Go!'

'Thanks, mate. How about I kick your sorry arse six ways from Sunday in a chess match later?'

Harry laughed. 'Sure thing.'

Ron hurried off to catch up with the gang and Hermione turned to Harry, shaking her head.

'Don't you ever go away on us like that again, you hear? He was getting bloody dreadful while you were away.'

Harry watched as Draco got up from his table and serenely strode out of the hall. Harry saw the opportunity and pounced on it.

'I'd love to stay and chat, Hermione, but I just remembered I left something in the dormitory and I've got to go fetch it.'

'I'll come with you. I'd like to get my sketchbook before I head outside.'

'Er, I actually remembered that I left it in the Charms room. I'll catch up with you later, Mione. I promise.'

Hermione had that slightly worried look on her face and Harry hoped to the Gods that she wouldn't follow him. He hurried out of the great hall and tried to discern where Draco had gone to. If only he had the map . . .

'Accio Marauder's Map!' he said and it took a moment for the map to come whizzing to him. He quickly opened it, muttered the incantation and searched it for Draco's name.

There. By the dungeons. Big surprise there. Harry hurried down to the dungeons following Draco's ambling dot through dozens of passages. Harry had been so intent on following the map that he walked right into someone.

'Bloody hell, Potter. Watch where you're going!' spat Draco himself.

'Oh!' Harry exclaimed in surprise. 'Why are you standing in the middle of the corridor like this?'

'I know when I'm being followed. I could hear you ten minutes ago.'

'And you just led me around?'

'I was curious to see how far you'd go.'

'We need to talk,' Harry said, abruptly changing topics.

'Since when do we need to do anything?'

'Since Søren and Gus said to,' Harry replied cooly.

Draco became very still. 'I see. Well, we can't rightly talk here. We need to go some place else.'

'Good idea. I've got just the place.'

Harry led Draco around the school until he finally stopped at the entrance to a tower.

'The astronomy tower? Give me a fucking break, Potter!'

'No one will be here on a Sunday morning and an equal amount of people will think to look for us here.'

Draco considered this. 'What are you waiting for, then?'

Draco opened the door and shoved Harry in. When they had climbed to the top, Draco conjured a sofa for them to sit on.

'So, you met Søren? And Gus?' Draco said.

'Yeah.'

'Quite a character, that Gus. I can't believe my brother is dating him.'

'He's not so bad, really. He's just a little cynical.'

'A little? Ha! That man is the definition of cynical! But I'm guessing we're not here to talk about him. What did you need to speak to me so urgently about?'

For what felt like the thousandth time, Harry explained what had happened while he had in the spirit world, though it was a significantly shorter story, considering Draco already knew half of the information.

'So what you're saying is that they've figured out a way back?' Draco asked incredulously. 'And they didn't tell me?'

'I guess your brother didn't want to endanger you. They said it would be really dangerous.'

'So letting the one person who's supposed to save the entire wizarding race do it instead? That's brilliant.'

'Look, I'm sorry they didn't tell you, but it's really not that big a deal. They wanted someone to come with me, so it's not like you wouldn't get to go.'

'Out of all the people you could bring, I was the first one on your list?' Draco asked with a bemused smirk.

'If you don't want to go, you can just say so. You don't have to be all snooty about it. I thought you'd like to go, since you are S ren's brother. Since we're going to rescue him, I don't think it would be quite right if I took someone else.'

Draco considered this a moment and regarded Harry for a moment before speaking again.

'Was that you? That night in the changing rooms?'

Harry paled. 'Er . . . '

'It was, wasn't it? I knew it was you. I could tell.'

'How?' Harry's voice was quiet and hoarse. He'd hoped this wouldn't come up, but at the same time he was desperate for to come up.

Draco moved closer. You do this thing when you're not paying attention. You trace the veins in your hands when you're concentrating. That's how I knew,' he whispered.

'Oh?' was all Harry could say. Draco had moved over so close.

'I couldn't really feel you. It was like the wind had grown fingers and was gracefully touching me. But, God, I wished I could have felt you.' Draco was practically on top of him now, breathing heavily on his face and neck. He was so close Harry could smell him; a scent of sandalwood and something unique to Draco himself.

Harry panicked. Suddenly the Astronomy Tower had become the worst place he could have chosen to meet Draco in.

A/N: Ah! I do love cliffies! I know, I know, you probably all hate me dearly for this, but it felt like a good place to stop because the chapter was getting a little long. But lucky for you, I'm uploading two chapters at once, so you can see what happens in the Astronomy Tower. I haven't written it yet, and I'm a little nervous, as I am a first time H/D writer and the only experience of gay sex I have is from Queer As Folk (although I have seen four seasons of it and that adds up to a considerable amount of sex - if you've seen the show, you know what I mean .)

I noticed something else when I was writing this chapter that just goes to show that I haven't really thought this through all the way: I realized that Draco spent a whole nine weeks in a coma, and Harry only spent a few days. But Draco had to find S ren and Gus and he had to catch up with his brother, so he had to spend a little longer. I think that maybe 9 weeks was a little too long, but can't change that now, can I ?

REVIEWERS GALORE - I LOVE YOU ALL:

Next Chapter: Events unfold in the Astronomy Tower and Remus comes for a visit.