A/N: I'm so sorry about the long wait! It's been a few months, I know. This semester, though, officially kicked my ass. Between my upper level classes and writing my senior literary thesis, I had my hands full. When I did have free time, my mind was so fried that I basically ended up staring at the wall (well, not the wall, but you get the picture). But since the semester is over, I'll be able to get back to my regular updating schedule of about once a week. Sorry again!

The First Time Isn't Always Everything

Chapter 9

"For someone that is known for being an icicle," Kagome muttered as she stormed down the hall that Sesshomaru has disappeared into, "he sure has an awful lot of mood swings." She still had no idea as to why Sesshomaru walked away from her. Kouga's words had been ambiguous. Wouldn't he have asked her what Kouga had meant before getting mad? Wasn't Sesshomaru supposed to be rational? More importantly, why had he called her his fiancé?

As she rounded a corner, she was met with a series of closed doors. Kagome narrowed her eyes slightly and called out for the angry male. As she expected, he did not respond. "Fine, I'll do this the hard way," she called out. Opening the first door, she was met with darkness. She peered around, but did not see any sign of Sesshomaru. Closing the door, she walked to the next door, saying, "And men complain that women are moody! I'd like to see them deal with him!"

Once again, Kagome was met with darkness. Yet, as she scanned the room, she found him. He was standing by the window, his back to her as he gazed out into the city. The fading light of the day poured through the blinds, streaming across his hair, causing it to gleam like polished silver.

She stepped into the room, closing the door behind her. "Sesshomaru?" she asked.

He did not respond immediately. The pause was thick, heavy with anticipation and frustration coming from the pair. "I heard you the first time," he said.

"Then why didn't you answer me?"

"You followed. What does it matter?"

"You didn't have to ignore me like that. Why did you just leave like that? Is something wrong?" she asked, stepping closer to him. Her features switched from anger to concern. Something was wrong.

"Perhaps I wanted to think," he said simply.

"Sesshomaru," she said, "Please. Tell me."

His head shifted slightly and she could see the amber coloring of his eye watching her through strands of hair. His gaze forced her to a halt, preventing her from moving any closer. She shivered. "Perhaps I wanted to consider the information I had been given."

Kagome tilted her head in confusion and took a step towards him. "Consider the information? What do you mean?"

"Were you not present at the conversation that just occurred minutes ago?" he said; his voice was void and distant.

Kagome frowned. What was he talking about? She wasn't the one that had stormed off in a rage. Sighing, turned her head and gazed out the window. "Yes," she replied, watching him from the corner of her eye. "All I know is that I was being kissed, Kouga walked by, someone said fiancé, and then everyone left." She paused. "Maybe you can tell me what's going on."

She could feel his eyes settle on her. They burned, pinning her and staring through her. Kagome could have sworn that they were piercing through her skin and delving into her mind. She unconsciously brought her arms up, folding them across her chest, attempting to comfort herself. Slowly, she turned her head again, this time meeting his gaze.

His eyes were hard, harsh enough to cause her breath to hitch in fear. His mouth was twisted into a half snarl, half frown, displaying his obvious anger. Sesshomaru's lean body was stretched to its full height – solid and rigid – no doubt an intimidation method. Why was he angry? What had she done?

"Why do I get the impression, dear Kagome, that there is much that you are not sharing?"

Kagome could not hide the obvious confusion and frustration that was building inside of her. She felt her body let out a quick shiver, but she composed herself quickly. She would not back down. There was obviously something deeper than she could fully understand, yet she would fight against the heavy urge to surrender. Kagome would find out what was happening.

"I'm not hiding anything, Sesshomaru," Kagome said. "So I dated Kouga. I wasn't keeping it from you. If you want to know something, maybe you should try asking. It's not like I wouldn't tell you." She clenched her jaw tightly, holding her teeth tightly together in hopes of retaining calmness.

"Very well. Yushima stated that he was involved in our meeting. How deep does your involvement with him rooted?" he asked. His eyes seemed to be growing colder with each additional word – if it was possible for him to become more frigid than he already was.

It was her turn to allow her eyes to narrow. "What are you talking about? We went to the bar together that night. Just because we aren't dating anymore doesn't mean that I can't still be his friend. She knew her voice was rising, but she could not help herself.

"It is clear that all he wants is to claim you, yet you still associate yourself with him. Something does not seem right," he retorted. His fists clenched at his sides. He took a step towards her, making their height difference even more noticeable.

"Jesus, Sesshomaru!" she exclaimed in exasperation. "I hadn't dated anyone since him. He was pestering me about dating again; I had a few drinks; I wanted to meet some new people. It's not like he told me to sleep with you, and how was I supposed to know that we would end of up dating? I'm not a psychic." She placed her hands on her hips and pursed her lips for a moment. "I'm well aware of the fact that he wants to date again. He's helped me out when I needed it before. But, in case you haven't noticed, I'm not the type of person to hold grudges; I'm not heartless."

As soon as the words fled from her lips, she regretted them. "Shit," she scolded mentally. That was not what she wanted to say, but she could not help herself in her escalating anger. She hoped that he would not notice her mistake, not take it to heart.

"And is that what I am, Kagome?" Sesshomaru seethed. The words dripped from his mouth with a venom-like quality. "Am I heartless? Am I wrong for feeling that a person that merely wants you for one thing should not qualify as a friend?"

"Sesshomaru," she started, hoping to remedy her error. "I didn't mean…"

"But perhaps you did. Is that how you see me, Kagome? As heartless?"

She took a step closer to him, reaching out a hand towards his arm in a soothing gesture.

"No," he stated.

Kagome could not hide the instant, searing pain that shot through her at Sesshomaru's words. He didn't even want her to touch him. Only a few minutes ago she was wrapped in his embrace, and now she was being denied.

"Would you just listen to me?" she said. She pulled her arm back towards herself, pulling it into her chest and wrapping her free palm around her wrist as if it were burned. "That's not what I meant. If I thought that you were heartless, I wouldn't be dating you. If I honestly didn't think that you were capable of having emotions, I wouldn't even be here right now."

Sesshomaru sneered, tilting his chin upwards haughtily. "But you obviously feel that I am one to hold grudges," he replied impassively.

Kagome paused to think, retracing over their conversation. Her wide, blue eyes narrowed slightly. This wasn't right. This wasn't right at all. "Why are you over-reacting like this?" she asked aloud. It was an extension of her thought, words she did not even realize she was voicing until she heard his reaction.

"Is that what I am doing? Over-reacting?" Sesshomaru retorted. "Don't I have a right to be angry?"

"What did I even do?" Kagome snapped. She could no longer hold in her anger. Her blue eyes flashed with her temper, darkening and lightening. "Forgive me, but I have no idea as to why you're so angry and why I'm being blamed."

Sesshomaru sneered at her. "Are you not the one that brought on this fiasco?"

The noise that propelled from Kagome's voice emerged like a fierce hiss, slightly surprising the pair. "You know what," she said, pointing a finger at him, "You're the one that is always acting like the most intelligent being that ever set foot on this planet. If you're half as intelligent as you act, you would be able to tell that you're over-reacting. You're turning everything back around on me."

"Is this you're guilty conscious speaking, Kagome? Is there something you fear me finding? What are you hiding?"

"I already told you that I'm not hiding anything!" Kagome screamed, taking another step back from him. She could feel the tears beginning to pool behind her eyes, brimming on the edge from emotional stress. "You're the one that's always talking about trust. You claim that I don't trust you. But look at what you're doing! Why don't you believe me? I didn't do anything. Why don't you trust me?"

Sesshomaru growled in his throat, his face instantly morphing from impassive to intense rage. He did not know why he was so angry. Perhaps it was because he felt as if she were lying; perhaps because he could see her flushed face blinking back tears; perhaps it was because he knew she was right – that he was embellishing this all. He advanced upon her. "Do not speak to me about trust, girl. I am not the one that hid my involvement with a man that obviously does not mind meddling in others lives. Were you not the one that did not trust me earlier? Forgive me for wanting to know if you held more lies within you. Forgive me, Kagome, for learning that you only came near me to deter another male."

Kagome backed away quickly. She could no longer hold her tears back. They fell down her face, dripping down in pristine form, tracing the gentle curve of her cheek and chin while Sesshomaru fought back the urge to wipe them away. From the wild look in his golden eyes, she could tell that this was useless. No matter what she said, he would not listen. She continued moving until she felt her back hit the wall. She was afraid.

"You don't believe me," she whispered. "You don't trust me, do you?"

"Why should I?" he retorted quickly. His hands continuously fisted, fighting his desire to take her now; claim her; tell her who she belongs to, who she answers to. Even in her distraught state, she was still beautiful. But he could not. This was not acceptable. Sesshomaru Tashio would not be played a fool. "You're behavior is clearly not influencing me to believe anything that you say as of now."

She let out a sob. Her eyes were wide. She trembled.

"And as the saying goes," he started slowly, his words heavy and deliberate, "there cannot be a relationship without trust."

There was a rampant, violent pain that tore through her heart. This was what she feared; what she never wanted to happen. This was not how it was supposed to be; not how it should have ended. And then there was nothing. She knew tears still fell from her face, but she could not feel them. Instead, her body felt numb.

Slowly, she turned. Her back faced him. Kagome could no longer look at the angry face; the face that she loved. Her head fell downwards. "You're right," she said; her voice was soft, undoubtedly broken. "There can't." She moved towards the door. Her hand fell upon the cold doorknob and she stilled. "Someday," she said, "I hope that you stop lying to yourself, Mr. Tashio." The door opened and closed, swallowing her from his view.

Sesshomaru stared at the door, unmoving. "I do not tolerate lies," he told himself mentally, reminding himself of the reason as to why he ended their relationship.

Her surroundings were like a blur. They were there, but she could not distinguish the various pieces of furnisher and decorations. She moved out of memory, slightly stumbling. Her mind was blank; yet she could feel the blood pounding through her veins, racing through her system. She was glad that her body remembered to breathe on her own.

Kagome reached the elevator. Reaching out a hand, she pressed the cool, metal button. Her hand stayed on the metal, eyes widening at the cold sensations that flowed through her fingertips. Her breath began to labor. When the doors sprung open with a slight "ding," it startled her. Stepping into the elevator, she selected her floor and silently for the doors to close.

It was only when the doors closed that she felt the weight of realization seep into her. Sesshomaru had broken up with her. A sob tore through her throat, echoing in the small confides of the elevator. She wrapped her arms around herself, seeking comfort. She still did not understand why. Her knees buckled, pulling her down to the arctic floor. The calls of hurt increased until she felt as though she could not breathe. Kagome did not realize the doors opening; she merely continued to surrender to the pain consuming her.

"Fuck!" The words floated to her but they did not process.

"Kagome, what the hell is going on?" Inuyasha.

Her head lifted. The silver hair and golden eyes of her friend wretched another cry from her. "Inu…," she muttered.

"What the fuck happened?" he asked; his words angry, protective.

He stepped to her, kneeling down in front of her. Kagome instantly launched herself into Inuyasha, clinging to his shirt. Her tears seeped into the fabric.

"Was it that bastard? I'll fucking kill him. Stay right here. I'll fucking tear his dick from his…"

"Does she have anywhere to go?" another voice asked.

Turning his head backwards, wrapping his arms around the crying girl protectively, he sent a heated glare to the owner. It was Kikyo. She stood, her palm on the door, holding it open. Her eyes were dark but attentive, her voice soft. She meant no harm.

"Of course," Inuyasha shot back. "She has a home."

Kikyo sighed and shook her head slightly. "That's not what I meant. Do you think it would be wise to leave her alone in this state? Nor would it be wise to leave her here crying while you went off to confront someone. Show her some respect," she said.

"Feh. I fucking knew that," he said. Turning back towards Kagome, he sighed. "Come on," he said, picking her up in his arms, "let's go."

Kagome shifted in his arms, encasing her arms around him and burying her face into his neck. Her tears were hot against his skin. From the way that she kept stumbling over his brother's name, he had a good idea as to what happened. His dark brows furrowed together in discomfort. He ran his thumb in small circles on her back, hoping it would help comfort her. "Shh, Kagome," he muttered.

Turning, he walked out of the elevator. "Thanks," he said to Kikyo as he walked out. She nodded in response.

When he placed Kagome in his car, he buckled her in. She twisted, grabbing onto the belt and looked as if she were holding onto it for life. Though her sobbing had subsided, her silence bothered him even more. She looked lifeless, broken. He didn't know what was going on in her mind or what had been said, but he knew that Kagome would be taking the worst of the beating.

"Fuck!" he growled, shutting the car door.

Walking around and sliding into the driver's seat, he pulled out his cell phone, dialing a few numbers. "Miroku," he said, "give me directions to Sango's house." He paused, listening, and glanced over at Kagome. "Let's put it this way. She's going to be a lot better at comforting a crying Kagome than my ass would."

As the sleek car roared to life and drove away from the building, Sesshomaru watched from the window. His face was unchanging, emotionless. He then walked away.

TBC…

A/N: Thank you for all of the wonderful reviews during my absence! I really appreciate it. I hope this chapter was worth the wait for you guys. Please let me know what you think!