JENNIE
"You guys, this is stupid!" Yeri complained as Lucas and I sat across from her in their living room. "I just don't think this is a good idea, and the timing is all wrong. Mama and Daddy are already doing so much, and they are as busy as ever. I think this is just silly," she whined, pulling on the hem of her dress.
"Yerimie Rae, I swear to God if you try to back out of this now, I'm going to kick you so hard you'll land in California. Now, come on, do it again," I ordered, sitting on the couch beside Lucas as my sister stood with a stack of paper her hands.
"But..." She frowned and bit her fingernails.
Lucas stood, walked toward her, and took her hands in his. "Babe, look at me. You are the best woman I've ever known, and you are the best preacher I've ever had the pleasure of listening to, okay? You deserve this chance, and I can promise you there ain't no way we are going to let you pass it up, okay? Now focus. You got this. You can do this."
"How do you know?" she asked, her voice shaky. "How do you know I can do it?"
"Because you're you. You can do anything."
I loved them so much it was almost sickening.
"Now come on," Lucas barked, slapping her butt. "Preach that sermon for Jennie and me." He went back to the couch and sat down.
Yeri took a deep breath and released it slowly. Then she began to deliver one of the most moving sermons I'd ever sat through. She felt the words, and I could hear in her voice how much she believed in what she was saying. It was a beautiful thing to watch, my little sister growing up into her own person.
She did this on her own; this was her gift, her talent, not anyone else's. She was born to be a preacher. She'd found her light, the thing that made her happy, and no one could take that from her.
I couldn't have been prouder.
When she finished, I wiped my eyes, ridding myself of the tears she'd brought to life.
"Was it okay?" she asked, still nervous.
I stood and pulled her into the tightest hug ever. "It was more than okay. It was so freaking good, Yeri, beyond words good. Now just do that same thing at dinner tonight with Mama and Dad."
She took a breath and nodded. "Okay. Thank you, both of you, for believing in me. I wouldn't be doing this crazy thing if it wasn't for y'all."
"Always and always," I told her, squeezing her hands and smiling. "Now I better get to dyeing my hair before dinner."
"I'm sorry, come again?" Yeri's mouth dropped open. "What do you mean dye your hair? Jennie, Mama would have a fit! Does she even know that you have a tattoo yet?"
"No, but she'll be fine."
"Are we talking about the same Mama?" she joked.
Lucas narrowed his eyes. "This seems like a sister conversation, so I'm going to go watch ESPN in the bedroom."
He snuck away, leaving Yeri to stare at me with concern. "Jennie..." she started. "Is this you? I mean, listen, if you always wanted to do these things like dye your hair and get tattoos, I'm all about it. Lord knows if anyone deserves to find themselves, it's you. I just want to make sure this is of your own doing and not Lisa's influence."
"Yeri." I took her hands into mine. "This is all me."
"Promise?"
"Promise."
She nodded. "What color hair?"
"Burgundy."
Her eyes widened. "You want to kill her." She laughed. "You want to kill our mother."
"Think of it this way. If she doesn't die from this, she'll probably live forever."
"Okay, well, come on. Let's get this over with."
"What do you mean?"
"I'm not going to let you dye your hair alone. I'm going to help you color it. Two set of hands are better than one, I'm guessing."
I loved how my sister was always there for me, even if she didn't understand my choices.
She loved me enough to let me explore unmarked territory, and she never let me walk it alone.
We headed to dinner, and Yeri's nerves were all over the place. Mama and Dad sat down at the table as their chef served us dinner. Lucas and I couldn't stop smiling from the excitement of what was about to take place.
The meal was wrapping up, and Yeri hadn't spoken up once. So, I decided to take charge. "I think Yeri has something she wants to share with us all," I said, getting everyone's attention. Yeri shot me a harsh look, but I just grinned.
"Oh?" Dad asked, looking over at my sister. "What is it, Yeri?"
"I, uh, I…" she started, her voice trembling.
"Spit it out, Yerimie," Mama ordered.
"Well, I was just, I was thinking, maybe, I mean, maybe one day I could do a sermon at a Sunday service. I even—" Before she could even reach for the printed copy of her sermon, Mama and Dad broke into laughter.
"You doing a sermon?" Dad remarked, tickled pink by the idea, which made me more upset than anything. He was supposed to be different. He was supposed to support Yeri's dream, but then again, in my parents' minds, Yeri was just a pretty little girl who didn't have big dreams.
"Oh, honey." Mama giggled. "That's a good one. Now what did you really want to say?"
My parents missed it—the way my sister's spirit wilted.
Lucas started to open his mouth, to protest their laughter, but Yeri placed a hand on his knee and gently shook her head.
"I was just gonna say I'm really looking forward to the Founder's Day parade," Yeri choked out, holding back her tears as she sat up straight like a proper young lady.
"Yes, it's going to be fantastic, and you get to ride on the float, too! You're going to be the prettiest girl in town, Yeri," Mama remarked.
"She's more than just a pretty girl, Mama," I barked, more than irritated.
"Jennie," Yeri said softly, giving me a look that begged me to drop it.
For her, I would, but still, I was pissed off.
"Oh, I forgot Lucas and I have a meeting for the parade in about fifteen minutes, so we're going to head out." Yeri pushed her chair back from the table and kept her smile on her face. "Come on, Lucas," she said.
"But…"
She bit her bottom lip to hold back her tears. "Please, Lucas, we can't be late."
He reluctantly stood and left with her, and then my parents went back to casual conversation as if nothing had even happened.
"Are you kidding me?" I snapped, making the two of them look in my direction.
"I beg your pardon?" Mama questioned.
"What is it, Jennie?" Dad asked.
"How could you do that to her? How could you laugh in her face when she brought up preaching a sermon?"
"Oh, Jennie Ruby Jane"—Mama rolled her eyes—"that was just your sister being her silly self."
"No, it wasn't. She's been practicing for weeks, probably months, and when she finally built up the nerve to tell you two, you laughed in her face. How did you not see it? How did you not see how your laughter hurt her? She pretty much bolted out of the room."
"She couldn't be serious," Dad said, baffled. "Yeri isn't a preacher."
"What's that supposed to mean?" I said with narrowed eyes, confusion swimming through my brain.
"Well, you know, your sister is into different things like shopping, throwing events around town, party planning—things like that. She's more like the town cheerleader. She's not one to run a church," he said. At that moment, for the first time ever, I saw my father in a different light.
"You think she's stupid?" I asked.
"I didn't say that."
"You didn't have to," I snapped. "I'll have you know she is a preacher. I've listened to her, and she is one of the strongest voices I've ever heard. She has so much heart and compassion for every person in the world. She is gifted beyond compare, and you had the nerve to laugh in her face when she came to tell you her dream!" I hollered, overly passionate about trying to get them to understand.
"Jennie, lower your voice," Mama ordered.
"No. I won't be silent about this. She worked so hard for this, and you two were so disrespectful. If you ever had a dream and you took it to Yeri, she would cheer you on for the rest of your life. She'd believe in you more than you'd believe in yourself, and you two didn't even give her a moment to breathe."
"I think it's time for you to leave the table," Mama said, her voice low and annoyed.
Dad didn't speak a word.
That hurt me more than anything else.
My eyes stayed on him, and I couldn't help the tears that filled my eyes. "I'd expect this from her, Dad, but you too? You're supposed to be the one who believes in us. You're supposed to be the one who listens to our dreams and tells us we can fly. The person you were tonight? The way you laughed at my sister? I don't even know who you are right now."
"That's comical, coming from the girl having an affair," Mama snapped.
"Excuse me?" I asked, perplexed.
"You know exactly what I'm talking about. Just go, Jennie. Leave. Go run off to see that delinquent girl of yours."
I sarcastically laughed. "Wow. I've been waiting for you to throw that in my face, but I think your timing is off. That has nothing to do with the issue at hand."
"It has everything to do with the issue at hand. Your word and your character are void to me right now because you are running around town like a wild woman. I mean, seriously! Tattoos?! Burgundy hair?! What is going on with you? This isn't you. And you're skipping around with a filthy dog who doesn't even deserve a bone. Yet you're just giving her all of you like a disgusting whore."
My mouth dropped open. "What did you just call me?"
"Do you know the damage control I've had to do because of your rampage these past few weeks? Tattoos on your skin…leaving Lisa's place late at night—do you know how hard it has been for me?"
"How hard it's been?" I huffed. "For you?"
"Yes. Do you know what people have been saying to me? What they have been saying about our family?"
"No. Do you know what people have been saying about me? You know what, I can't do this. I cannot talk to you."
"You're a disgrace to this family's name! Sleeping around with that dirty monster when you're married."
My heart was breaking, and she didn't even notice. I swallowed hard and lowered my head. "Taehyung cheated on me, not the other way around, but what do you care? It seems you're determined to choose everyone but your daughters lately. I'm done with it all. I'm done with the church and their judgments, and I'm done with you and yours. By the way, over the past few weeks, Lisa has treated me with more respect than you ever have in all of my life, so if she's a monster, Mama, that must make you the Devil."