Part Three

SGC Infirmary

Jack awoke feeling chilled, exhausted, and sore. His whole body throbbed in pain. He curled up further under his blankets, attempting to stave off the chills that were overtaking his body. He so wanted another blanket at this moment, but he was too tired to call for the nurse.

Suddenly another blanket was spread over his trembling body and he opened his eyes to find out who had answered his prayers.

"Hey doc," he greeted the woman who was now standing by his bed.

"Looked like you could use another blanket. Hopefully the chills and fever will pass by tonight."

"Thanks."

"I heard you had a rough night."

"Did I? I can't seem to remember anything after you were last here."

"That's not unusual. The nurse on duty just said that you that had a bad dream... something about Sam?" Janet prodded cautiously.

"Oh...God..." Jack uttered as the memories of his dream came flooding back. "It was bad... really bad. I dreamed we were on a mission and she was hit by a staff weapon and died. It was my fault because I wasn't paying attention and the Jaffa snuck up on us. I should've been watching our backs."

Janet looked at him sympathetically. "Well, sir, thankfully it was just a dream. Sam is fine. In fact, I talked to her earlier and she should be by to see you in a few minutes. She'll be glad..."

"She'll be glad about what?" a voice coming from the door uttered.

Sam walked into the room, smiling broadly as soon as she realized the Colonel was awake.

"Sir...I'm glad to finally find you awake. It seems every time I've stopped by in the last couple of days, you've been out like a light. I was beginning to wonder if you really found my company that boring," she joked lightheartedly.

Jack smiled in response, "Never, Major...that is except when you are techno-babbling."

Sam sat in the chair next to his bed. She appeared in good spirits, although Jack knew better. She was still putting on a show for his benefit, trying to convince him that everything was all right. But he knew her better than that. He knew something was wrong, he could read it the tension her body and voice exuded.

They talked casually about nothing of consequence for about thirty minutes before Jack became drowsy and fell asleep. After his eyes closed, Sam nervously looked around to make sure there were no witnesses. As she rose to leave, she paused and quickly leaned over Jack's sleeping form to place a tender kiss on his forehead.

"Get better soon, Jack. I love you," she whispered before turning around and slowly exiting the infirmary.

Jack was dreaming again. Unlike the other dreams he had had previously, he was instantly aware that it time it wasn't real. He was also relieved that this time his dream was not as traumatic or distressing. In fact, it was oddly comforting.

He was walking in a park. He immediately recognized it as the one near his house where he frequently went walking when on downtime. He always loved going to that park. It was always filled with kids running about playing. There was even a baseball diamond in one corner and he often would sit and rest on one of the benches overlooking it to watch a makeshift game that one of the neighborhood kids had organized.

In this dream, his attention was drawn away from the ball field in the direction of the playground by the sound of joyful giggling. Swinging as high as she could, a little girl pumped her legs back and forth, soaring into the air.

He smiled in wonder at the child. She was enjoying herself so completely and unrestrainedly that Jack was completely enchanted.

Jack walked further down the path, turning away from the playground and the girl on the swing. It was then that he spotted her. Sitting on a picnic table near the playground, a blond woman was intently watching the little girl. It was Sam. She looked radiant, sitting there in the sunshine with a wide smile on her face.

Just as he was about to walk over and say hello to her, a dark-haired man approached the table and sat beside her. Sam looked at the man with an expression that could only be described as adoration. The man took her hand in his and she leaned her head on his shoulder, both then turned their attention to the girl on the swing.

Jack was confused by this sight until the little girl suddenly jumped out of the moving swing and ran toward Sam and her male companion.

"Mommy! Daddy! Did you see me? I jumped out of the swing!"

Sam smiled brightly and rose from her seat. She held her arms open wide and then enclosed the girl in a tight hug. "Wow, that was great! But you need to be careful, sweetie. Remember...you're the only little girl I've got."

"I know, Mommy. I will." Sam placed a gentle kiss on her daughter's head before releasing her. The child then held her outstretched arms up to the man, demanding to be picked up. He enthusiastically complied and proceeded to twirl the girl in the air as she giggled in delight.

The picture before Jack was one of complete happiness and contentment. It was the image of a perfect family. Jack's gaze drifted from the child and her father to look once again at Sam.

Sam was totally absorbed with observing the two people next to her. Jack could tell from her smile and the sparkle in her eyes that she was happy... more than happy actually. He could only describe her mood as utterly blissful.

This time he awoke from his dream, not screaming and trembling, but instead completely calm and composed. It had not been disturbing like the others, but it had been heartbreaking in its own way. The heartbreaking part was that it was the only one of his dreams that he actually wouldn't have minded seeing come true.

Jack knew without doubt that any of the previous dreams he had experienced in the past day had a very high chance of becoming reality. If he and Sam continued seeing each other, they would probably get caught and court-martialed...or worse, his second nightmare could very easily happen and she could die because of his negligence. The regulations were there for a very good reason, after all, and Jack was well aware of that fact.

He wanted Sam to be as happy as she was in the park. He wanted her to have a family to love…for her to be alive and free...even if it was without him. And he also knew that the dream he had just experienced would never come true, that Sam would never be that happy, as long as she was with him.

Going through withdrawal had forced him to confront his own doubts about his relationship with Sam. It had also helped to lead him to a very important realization. In that moment, he realized there was only one option open to him regarding Sam. He had to let her go...

TBC