The First Time Isn't Always Everything
Chapter 12
There are times when we all doubt our decisions.
"Why did I do that?" she muttered.
Folding her legs and pulling them into her chest, her head fell down on the top of her knees. Kagome let out a heavy sigh. Her normally bright blue eyes appeared to be covered with a slight film, now cloudy and obviously not seeing anything tangible before her. She was in her own world.
"Kagome," Sango said from her place beside Kagome on the couch, "what's wrong? Please tell me. You've been like this since last night." The dark haired woman's eyes pleaded sympathetically. Her hand came out, resting it on Kagome's shoulder in a comforting manner. She received no response. "Hey, come on," Sango said, her voice soft, encouraging. "Talk to me."
Kagome's eyes roved to Sango, staring at the woman; her eyes slightly hardened. "Did you know that he would be there? Is that why you wanted me to go so badly?"
"What? How could you say that!" Sango cried. Her hand retracted from Kagome as though she were shocked by a thousand volts of electricity. "Of course I didn't know!"
"Then why were you insisting that I went out?"
Sango pouted. "Because I didn't want you just sitting on your couch anymore. I thought it would be good for you to get out the house. I was concerned." After a moment, she added as an afterthought, "Maybe he had more of an influence on you than I thought."
The distraught woman's head fell, burying itself in the nook that her knees created. "I know," she said, her voice muffled by her skin. "I shouldn't have said that. I just thought… well, I don't know; since Miroku works for him that…"
It was Sango's turn to sigh. "I know. Despite the fact that they work together, Miroku is your friend. If we would have known, we would have gone somewhere else. I would never want to put you through that kind of pain, Kagome. I'm sorry."
She shook her head slightly. "No, it's not your fault." She lifted her head, now moving it to rest on the back of the couch. Her chest heaved slightly, as if in pain. She blinked rapidly, undoubtedly trying to hold back tears. "It's just that… Oh, Sango, I'm sorry! I'm the one that's been lying! I still care about him. I can't help it! I'm not over him yet, no matter how much I deny it. I'm trying; I really am, but seeing him and knowing that he is around just hurts so much."
"I was afraid of that," Sango garbled.
"What?" Kagome asked in confusion. Her blue orbs blinked, not understanding her friend's words.
"Listen, Kagome," she began, scooting closer to the balled-up woman and wrapping her arms around her. "I'm saying this because I'm concerned. I figured that you still cared for him, but the fact is that he's seeing another woman now. I want nothing more than for you to be happy, and I know what he put you through before. I just don't want to see you hurt anymore. Things didn't work out. I know it's hard but maybe it's time for you to really move on."
Kagome sniffled as the tears rose up in her. Dropping her knees, she leaned into her friend, embracing her tightly for support. "I know, but it's just so hard."
Sango smiled sadly. She did not want to have to do this to Kagome, her friend, especially when she knew what Miroku was planning. But enough was enough; she did not need to suffer like this, and Sesshomaru did not appear as though he was willing to change his ways. "I hate to be cliché, Kagome, but you know what they say. If it was really meant to be, he'll come back to you. But that doesn't mean that you have to sit around waiting to see if your icy-way-to-tall bird happens to come flying back."
Smiling weakly into Sango's shoulder, Kagome let out a small giggle. "I guess you're right." Her voice softened, "I guess I was never meant to birds."
Another one done. Grabbing the piece of paper, he moved it to the corner of his desk, placing it on top of a large pile of already read and signed document. Wordless, he picked up another off of a slowly diminishing stack and brought it before him. Golden eyes scanned over the words, reading line by line, carefully, meticulously. This has been his routine for the past two days, concentrating on nothing but the work before him. If he did not, he knew that his mind would wander, undoubtedly to the previously transpired events. He did not want to dwell on those words; he did not want to realize if there was any truth behind them. Remembering her words would only serve to hinder him, leaving him in a state that would leave him unable to complete his work – but he did not know if those words would leave him angered or pining. It was best not to think of them at all.
As he signed the document before him, a small knock sounded throughout his office. Without looking up, he called out, "Enter," and grabbed yet another paper. From the quiet entrance and soft footsteps, he knew it was his secretary; anyone else, mainly Miroku, would have voiced their presence by now.
"What is it?" he said indifferently.
"There's a package for you," she said softly, hesitantly. She knew better than to press her luck with his volatile mood.
"And who is it from?"
"Well, sir, there's no address on it. There's nothing on it expect for you're name."
Sesshomaru stopped reading, glancing at the woman without moving his head. He eyed the description-less, brown box in her hands, searching for anything unusual. There was nothing. "Very well," he said. "Leave it."
"Yes, sir," she said, placing the box on the corner of his desk and then bowing, retreating from the room.
At first he did not move. He eyed the box warily, undecided as to how to react. After a moment, though, he picked up the phone, dialing a few numbers. "Miroku," he said smoothly into the receiver, "come to my office immediately." Hanging up the phone, he continued to stare at the package, leaning back in his chair as he awaited Miroku's arrival.
He was not waiting for long. "Yes, O' Great One?" Miroku greeted with a smile. "You rang?"
"I do not have time for your mockery," Sesshomaru said. "Open the box that is on my desk."
Miroku's dark eyebrows furrowed together in his confusion. "Open the box?" he asked. "The last time I checked, you were perfectly capable of opening a plain box."
"I do not know who it is from, nor do I know if it is dangerous. Open it."
"Ahh, so I'm potentially placing my life in danger for you. Do I get paid extra for this?"
Sesshomaru's eyes narrowed dangerously in warning. Dropping the smile that was adorned on Miroku's face, he stepped forward, grabbing the box from the desk. "Never mind," he said, beginning to open the package.
There was no explosion, no horrified shock written on the CEO's face. He had no reaction. Shrugging his shoulders, he reached in and pulled out a hardback book. "It's just a book," he said, glancing over the cover. "Oh, and an interesting one at that."
"Such as?" Sesshomaru inquired, frowning slightly over the contents of the package.
"It's called A First for Everything. Perhaps you've heard of it?"
"Do not be cute with me. I know very well whose book that is." He leaned forward again, returning his gaze to the documents before him. "Take it if you desire it. I have no use for it."
"But, Mr. Tashio…"
"No," he interrupted. "Someone is merely attempting to distract me. It will not, however, be an effective endeavor. If you do not want it, then dispose of it. I do not want it in my office."
"But.."
"Miroku."
"Sesshomaru!" Miroku exclaimed. "This just isn't her book. I'm pretty sure that this is the one that you sent her. Actually, scratch that. I am sure."
Golden eyes traveled upwards, contracted into tiny, angry flashes. "And how do you know this?" His voice was malicious.
"Well," Miroku replied, "just because there is this piece of the box in here that bares the address of the company and your name. Why would someone just send you one copy of the book you published with your address inside of it? I'm pretty sure that Kagome's returning it to you."
Sesshomaru's eyes closed. His fingers began to curl slowly, pulling themselves into fists. He breathed deeply.
"I guess after your last encounter, she wanted to finalize things," Miroku said. His eyes carefully watched Sesshomaru's reaction, making sure to take the proper precautions and gauge his responses before speaking. Although he wanted to persuade Sesshomaru to return to Kagome, he did not want to lose his job, or his life for that matter, in the process. "After all, I wouldn't exactly say that the night ended on good terms."
A threatening grunt sounded out through the room, causing Miroku to momentarily flinch. Molten bullion stared back at the CEO. "What exactly are you implying?" he asked.
Taking a step backwards, Miroku replied, "I was just trying to rationalize Kagome's actions."
"Perhaps she wishes to rid herself of an object that reminds her of her lies."
"Or perhaps she wants to rid herself of an object that reminds her of her ex-boyfriend's betrayal."
He glared. "I assure you that was not the case," he hissed.
He took a deep breath and squared his shoulders. "Well, w at least as this the reaction you were hoping for?"
"I had no intentions."
Miroku smirked. "Mr. Tashio, if I may remind you, that would be rather uncharacteristic of you. Everything you do is done for some logical reason – even if it's not apparent in the beginning. You had to be looking for something."
Sesshomaru pursed his thin lips together and eye Miroku. "Just as you have hidden intentions now?"
Letting out a short, nervous laugh, Miroku placed the book down on a near by chair. "Maybe. But, speaking as a friend, Sesshomaru, if you trusted that Kagome would bend to your wishes the other night, then that would be the first time that she actually betrayed your trust."
"Get out," Sesshomaru growled perilously.
"All right," Miroku said, walking towards the door. "But if you need some advice, you know where to find me." Effortlessly, he opened the door and left, leaving Sesshomaru in silence.
The tall man shifted his gaze, training them upon the book that lied harmlessly on a chair. He breathed deeply, trying desperately to calm his racing mind. This was not what he wanted. This was not what he needed. This was what he worked against. Their relationship was over; there was no need to dwell over the past any longer.
"Mr. Tashio," his secretary called out over the intercom.
"What?" he barked out, angry at the intrusion, but more angered over the fact that he had been distracted.
"Miss Higurashi called. She left a message for you stating that she given your brother the remainder of your personal items to deliver to your home. She would also like any of her belongings returned and that you can give them to Inuyasha to return."
"Very well," he replied quietly. "Make sure no one disturbs me for the rest of the day." Standing up, he walked over to the small mini bar that sat in the corner of his office, grabbing a tumbler and pouring himself a generous serving of strong, brown whiskey. Lifting the glass to his lips, he closed his eyes and poured the liquid down his throat before refilling his glass.
The moonlight cascaded through the window, draping across the room in soft waves. It wrapped around the pair in the room, basking them in an unearthly glow. His eyes took in the effect from next to the window, watching as the beams fell upon the dark haired woman. The light surely enhanced her beauty, but it was not the same. It did not transform her into a goddess. She was still merely a woman. The added light did not make her raven colored hair radiate with a blue tint. It stayed black – plain and ordinary.
Shaking his head, we walked towards her. He pulled her to his body, wrapping an arm around her slender waist. Even this was different. Her hips did not swell out gently in a curvy sensation, but were flatter. She was too tall against him; even the feel of her breasts did not arouse him the same. Her body did not appear to melt into the planes of his body, complementing them with softness; instead, her body merely rested against him, seemingly unwilling to mold to him.
Growling, his ran his fingers up her body, grasping her chin and tilting it upwards to his. He captured his lips between his and was immediately disappointed. Although smooth, they were not as full and tender; they did not possess the sensuality that hers did. There was no residual taste of indescribable flavors that exploded against his tongue and lips; there was no soft moan that rumbled against his lips.
He pushed her down against the bed, scowling. Impatiently, he pulled her top from her body, exposing her skin. Even then he noticed how her skin was not milky and gleaming, but tinged darker unnaturally. Reaching under her, he removed her bra, tossing it to the floor before taking off his own shirt. A laugh escaped her lips, but it sounded harsh to his ears. Immediately, he dove down to capture a peak in his mouth, wishing to escape these thoughts.
But they were not the same. They were not delicate and smooth under his assault, but rougher and a bit too large. He could not hear her heart beat wildly against her chest as he continued his ministrations. As he flicked his tongue across her nipple, she did not arch up into him. Eventually, she did moan. It was abrasive, lustful, and feral – so unlike the soft, feminine, luxurious noises he had grown accustomed to. She began undoing the buckle of his pants, pulling them down his hips. He finished kicking them off when she reached down to grab him. Her hands were too large. Naturally, the sensations created were pleasurable, but, through her actions, it was obvious that she was merely doing so in order to reach a goal, not because she desired to or because she wished to feel him shudder from her hand.
Releasing her, he pushed away and stood from the bed. He heard her call out to him, angry that he had stopped. Walking over to his closet, he pulled out a pair of black, silk sleeping pants and drew them up his legs. It was no use. She was not Kagome. There was no hiding it any longer.
"Kagura," he said, "leave."
"But, Sesshy," she whined.
"I do not care. Get out before I am forced to do so physically." He paused for a moment, turning his gaze to her. He looked at her half dressed form and the angry purse of her lips. "And do not return," he added.
He watched her as she scooted off the bed, grabbing her top and bra from the floor. He did not miss the angry words that she said. But they did not matter to him. She pulled on her clothing, glaring at him. "You're a bastard," she yelled at him. "No wonder why no one wants you. If it wasn't for your money, then no one would even bother with you."
Sesshomaru's eyes narrowed dangerously at her words. "And if it wasn't for the fact that you so readily spread your legs, no one would bother with you. Remove yourself from my property immediately. If I ever see you here again, I will have you arrested for trespassing."
"You stupid bastard," she growled, pointing a finger at him. "You'll live to regret this."
He stepped to her, grabbing her elbow and pulling her out of his room and towards the door. "Somehow," he stated, "I doubt that will be the case." Moments later they arrived at the door. He opened it and allowed her to storm out. She turned towards him to say something else, but, in one fluid motion, he closed the door and locked it, closing her off from saying anything else.
Stepping away from the door, he silently made his way into his living room. He walked over to a cabinet, opening it and grabbing a tall bottle and a tumbler. Then, he wordlessly walked to his couch. Turning on the TV, be poured himself a drink.
A few hours he awoke. He grunted, blinking his eyes groggily, shaking his head to clear his head of the traces of alcohol that clung to his thoughts. He then scowled, angry at himself that he once again allowed himself to turn to the bottle over Kagome.
He began to pour himself another drink from the quarter empty bottle, merely wanting at that point to be brought to a sleep that would be un-plagued by dreams. As he did so, his eyes traveled towards the TV screen, glancing casually at it as the twelve o' clock news appeared. The screen turned to that of a burning building as he took a small sip of his drink. "Strange," he thought. His attention was caught by the familiarity of the building. We waited until a small caption read the location of the building. And, then, he knew why.
His golden eyes widened slightly and he forgot all about the drink in his hands. He knew why. He watched the red flames lick the sky as they climbed higher, engulfing the building in a fiery death. The drink began to slip from his fingers. Kagome's building.
Suddenly, he found himself standing. Then he was walking towards his garage without even realizing it. He opened the door, grabbed the pair of keys off of the key rack and slipped into his car. With a two flicks of his wrist, the car was turned on and the garage door was opening. He did not even care that he had left his lights on and that a glass of bourbon was soaking into his carpet.
TBC….
A/N: Well, here it is. Hopefully, this update was quicker for you, seeing that I did not have any computer problems to deal with this time. Also, all of the reviews have been wonderful! I'm glad that there are people enjoying this story! It makes my day! I hope that you enjoyed this chapter as well. There will only be two chapters left, because there is only so much drama an author can have while the main characters in the story are not together. Please let me know what you think!
Thank you!
Nival Rose