JENNIE
People gathered around me right away and started asking me questions about Lisa and me as she wandered off to get drinks. It all felt overwhelming, but I took it the best I could because she was worth the risk of people judging us.
And boy, did they judge.
"It's a bit soon, isn't it? To be dating again."
"You should be by yourself for a while."
"I think Taehyung and you can work things out."
"Taehyung obviously still cares for you."
So many opinions. So many nosy souls.
I just smiled through it all and did my best not to let it get to me. "If you'll excuse me, I have to go find…something," I said, grinning ear to ear.
The second I got away from the crowd, I ran into Marybeth Summers.
Marybeth was a quiet soul and always kept to herself. She looked my way and nodded once. "Hey, Jennie."
"Hey, Marybeth."
"I think you two are beautiful together."
"Thanks." I smiled, still feeling a knot in my stomach. I was waiting for her next comment to be like everyone else's.
Yet instead, she just said, "You deserve to be happy."
She gave me a hug, and it felt so sincere. I held on a bit longer than I probably should've.
Maybe not everyone in town was filled with a gossiping heart.
Perhaps some did truly wish me well.
"Jennie Ruby Jane," Mama stated, walking my way. She seemed stunned to see me as she smoothed out her dress.
"Hi, Mama."
"What are you doing here?"
"I've never missed a gala. I didn't think I'd start now."
"Are you…" She shifted around in her high heels. "Are you here to just make a scene? To act out?"
"What?"
"I saw you walk in with that girl. I just don't want any drama. Did you bring her here to get back at me for our last conversation? For what I said?"
"Oh, Mama." I smiled her way and moved in close. "Not everything has to do with you."
I walked away and ran straight into Momo, who was grinning ear to ear as she looked my way. "Oh, my, my, my. Did I just witness you telling your mother off?" she asked me, sipping at her champagne.
"I think you did."
"I see you brought a certain person as your date tonight," she remarked with a wolfish grin.
"I did."
"Good for you, Jennie." She held her glass up in a celebratory fashion. "Good for you."
As the band struck up their instruments, Momo perked up. "Oh! The band is starting! I better go find my husband before some Chester girl tries to claim him for first dance. I'll check in later!"
The first dance of the Kim Gala was always a fun one to witness. The tradition stood that whoever was the first to ask for you for a dance, you had to agree. No ifs, ands, or buts.
That was how I was able to get Taehyung to dance with me all those years ago.
That was how I began to fall in love with him way back when.
My eyes darted around the room for Lisa, and I started in her direction as I saw her still standing near the bar, but my heart landed in my throat as I heard the words, "Jennie Ruby Jane, may I have this dance?"
I turned around to see Taehyung standing there in a suit and tie. He looked so handsome, and I hated him for it.
"No," I barked, turning away, but he kept talking.
"It's tradition, though. You can't say no."
I groaned.
"He's right, you know," an older woman stated, walking by us with a young man who looked underwhelmed. It was clear he didn't choose her. "It's tradition."
I rolled my eyes and looked at Taehyung. "One dance. That's it."
"That's all I want."
"That's all you're getting." We walked to the dance floor, and he tried to place his hand on my lower back, but I didn't allow him to do so. His hands sat on my shoulders, as if we were at a middle school dance.
"Thank you for this," he said, his breath dripping with whiskey scents.
"You're drunk," I remarked, staring into his glassy eyes.
"I had a few drinks, yeah. I was just trying to build up the nerve to talk to you, to ask you for this dance. I thought it would bring back some memories of us."
I didn't reply.
"Well?" he questioned. "Does it?"
"Taehyung, where's Rosé?"
"I don't know. I don't care about her. I care about you."
"Since when? Since I started talking to Lisa?"
He grimaced. "It drives me crazy to see you with her, you know? It drives me batshit crazy." His eyes watered over, not from the alcohol, but from his emotions. "Jennie. It kills me seeing you with another person."
"Now you know how I felt."
"I'm so sorry, Jennie. I really am," he told me, tears rolling down his cheeks. I couldn't think of the last time he'd cried in front of me. "After the first miscarriage, I lost myself. It hit me hard, and I had to try to hide my pain because I knew you were hurting so much. I just needed space to think and clear my head."
"Using other women's bodies? How long did you expect me to wait for you? How long did you think I'd sit here praying for you to love me again?"
"You don't understand. After everything that happened, I couldn't breathe."
"I like how you're using the miscarriages as an excuse for your disloyalty when it should've been the complete opposite. I…" I blinked my eyes and took a sharp inhale. "When I needed you most, you weren't there for me. When I needed you to catch me, you watched as I began to fall, and right as I was seconds away from hitting the ground, you turned and walked away."
"Jennie…"
"I'm done, Taehyung."
"This isn't you. This is that person getting in your head. You love me," he told me. "You do, and I know you do. You can't just give up on us, Jennie. You can't—"
"I want a divorce," I cut in. I was tired of him coming and going as he pleased. I was tired of him trying to tell me who I was and what I stood for. "I don't want to do this anymore. I don't want to beg you to love me. I don't want to sit up at night wondering if you're loving someone else. I don't want you to want me just because you believe someone else does. I want to be free from the chains, Taehyung. I want to let you go."
"What? No." He tensed, trying to keep his hold on me, but I pulled away.
"You're the only woman I've ever loved, Jennie."
I didn't know why, but that stung me. "Then I don't think you know what love is."
I turned to walk away, and Taehyung's hand landed against mine. "Jennie, please." His grip was a bit tight, and his eyes were pleading. I stared into those crystal blue eyes for a moment. Those same eyes I'd thought I'd spend the rest of my life gazing into. Those same eyes that I'd thought would always bring me peace during my darkest storms…
"Taehyung…" I whispered, looking past him to where Rosé had just entered the room. She looked beautiful in her golden dress that somewhat showed her curve. Each and every one of her curves. "Let me go."
He dropped his hold and looked over at her.
"Dammit," he muttered.
I walked away quickly, trying to shake off my nerves. As I was going to escape, Lisa walked over to me. She gave me a halfway smile, and I gave her the other half.
"What's wrong?" she asked me.
"Nothing."
She narrowed her eyes. "What's wrong?"
I shook my head. "Really, I just need a bit of air. That's all."
She stood tall and cleared her throat. "Is my being here bringing you more stress? Because if it is, I can go. I know this is a big deal for you and your family, and I don't want to cause any kind of harm."
Oh, Lisa… "You being here is the only thing keeping me from drowning."
"What happened? Did someone hurt you?"
"Yes, no, well…they just hurt my heart."
She moved in closer and combed a fallen curl behind my ear. "Those are the worst kinds of hurts."
A tear rolled down my cheek, and I didn't bother to dismiss it.
Lisa frowned. "What can I do for you?"
"I just need to step outside for a moment. Can you just…wait," I whispered, laying my hand against her chest. As I looked up into her hazel eyes, I saw such softness. I stared into those hazel eyes for a moment. Those same eyes that helped me take small breaths… Those same eyes that brought me peace during my darkest storms…
"Please, Lisa," I begged, "just wait for me."
"Princess…" Her thumb moved to my cheek, and she wiped away my falling tears. She tilted her head to the left and gave me a smile. It was small…tiny, really. Most people would've missed the expression, but I'd been so zoomed in on Lisa that I noticed every move her lips ever made. The comfort that swept over me as she softly spoke words my way. "How could I not wait for you?"