They were free.
They were outside, waiting for Kendy and Kayli to rent a van to pick them up. Apparently after everyone was home, the van would have... 'other' uses.
Derek approached his wife like a helpless puppy, pointing vigorously to the tape that was still stuck to his mouth.
"Hmm." Addison studied her husband's face. "Nahh... I like you like this. You're quiet. We can have quiet sex for once."
"MMM!" Derek's face was turning bright red.
Addison sighed and feigned annoyance. "Fine" she huffed, and swiftly ripped off the duct tape off Derek's lips.
"Owwwwwwwwww" Derek cringed. Where the tape had been stuck was now a large red area of swollen skin. "Did you have to include a wax with that?"
"Sorry 'bout that." Addison grinned, peering down at the gray tape which contained bits of stubble. "I could... wax off the rest of your face..."
"No thanks." Derek refused and rubbed his sore cheeks.
Honk honk. Kayli and Kendel were right around the corner, in their brand spanking new sexy reddish orange stripping van.
"Wow nice transportation." Crys remarked as everyone hopped in.
"You need to come with us on our stripping tour." Kayli had gotten close with the maid and they were great... friends.
"Can't." Crys shook her head. "I'm not a cradle robber." she said as she looked at the Shepherds' lugging their six kids into the van.
And so, one by one, the Spork Squad separated. Chrissie, Alisa, Flick and Rissa returned to the hospital. Jess, Crys, Derek, Addison, Mel and the sextuplets: Jenny, Taylor, Kari, Kendel, Jessica and Landon went home to their luxurious mansion. It was quite sad actually, given all the fun times they shared, and it was all coming to an end.
Pretty soon only Kayli and Kendel were left. First stop on their tour: Las Vegas. Gambling, alcohol, it was heaven. And not to mention they got married...
The real end...
So in the end. The six kids grew up, and being the fabulous people they are, they took over the world with the Spork Squad. With Brandy as their leader of course. All hail the amazing McB! Of course... Flick ruled the sporks and Raven controlled the milkshakes.
The Spork Squad reunited once a month, Richard had given them the elevator Derek and Addison had sex in. Any enemy they faced, wham dump 'em in the elevator and spork 'em. That included a bunch of shitheads who had no idea what they were doing.
Kayli and Kendel lived the lavish life of polygamy. After finishing their stripping tour and becoming billionaires, they recruited Crys the maid and picked up 2 lovely women named Sarah and Stephanie along the way. And don't forget Kayli's 1,000,008 love children, including the lovely Audrey Charlotte from Sarah.
As for Mel and Derek... well some things never change. Their sibling rivalry continued, and eventually Mel moved out and she and Rissa became roommates. Rissa had a lot more free time, seeing as Kayli left the hospital to embark the life of a stripper.
Jess and Addison, best friends for life. They were a team, the greatest OB/GYN's in the world and most certainly the foremost neonatal surgeons.
Alisa went on with her drug dealing. Chrissie continued life as a janitor and tripped any person she disliked. Together, they were drug dealing janitors with the power of the broom... and sporks of course.
Long live the Sporks!
And so... the conclusion to my Tales of Irony. Hope you all enjoyed the story and thanks so much for reading and keeping up with one hell of a wacky fic. Don't worry... my other stories will remain serious ((laughs)).