Disclaimer: I do not own anything here, and this is just for fun.

Note: this is an alternative season 5...It's pretty much the same about season 4; the differences will come here, in Joey's memories....

Thanks: to Lali, who always reads them and asks for more

Joey closed the book. She wasn't on the mood for reading…She just couldn't stop herself of thinking about her life, when everything started going so wrong…Definitely, it was going to get much worse when her grades come, she thought with a heavy sigh....

She knew memories were only in her mind, but they hurt as much as they were happening right now. Coming home after the romantic trip to the Keys…God, how she missed those days…Days full of happiness and magic…That was the trouble, maybe…They had that whole alternative reality, and facing the real world brought back all the pain and angst…but true love was supposed to last forever, wasn't it?

Real world brought back too her need to fix the total alien relationship with Dawson…brought back Pacey's insecurities about her feelings…and now she realizes that he wasn't so wrong…She had lied the first minute her feet touched the shore… "This one is heavy…Hmmm… It's for Bessie…" Maybe that was her first mistake…Among many others…more she thought about it, more Pacey's words when they broke up made sense….he was known as the town's loser, but that time she, Joey Potter, had screwed everything…

A sad smile came to her lips…Pacey, the former town's loser, had fought his own destiny, and against all odds was now at Boston University…He had started studying since he was dating Andie, and she, herself, was a total freak when it came to study ..and they had the rule: no fun before studying…and some of his grades got even better than hers…She almost laughed when she remembered that crazy  Jen's unbirthday party when she got drunk ' cause she was fourth in her class, and was afraid of her future… and Pacey telling her : "you're worried about that? I'm not, 'cause I'm going wherever you go…Pace, you're not worried 'cause you're what, second? No, Jo, actually, I should be really worried 'because I'm fifth…but I'm not, 'cause somehow I know we'll be together…remember Titanic? You jump, I jump…That's what is gonna work for us"

But she needed Dawson in her life too….Pacey tried, but jealousy was a hard enemy to be defeated, specially with all their history…And then there were more lies…about her long phone calls to Dawson, some visits…Pacey didn't say much about it, but he noticed the ladder which was the physical sign that she and Dawson were trying to fix things…but that hurt him, the same way he was trying to get Dawson's friendship again, with no success…

But there were pretty sweet moments, like the senior trip to the ski lodge... the first time they made love...but they were glimpses of what could be...And then it happened: the senior prom...

Everything went wrong since the very start of it....Dawson was sad, feeling lonely, she asked him to dance with her, and like possessed by some sort of evil spirit he decided to kiss her in front of all 2001 class...and that was really the dead end to Pacey and her....She could still hear the hurt words..." You know, Jo, for the first time in my life, I can't be accused as the one who screwed up everything....you did it. The perfect Miss Josephine Lillian Potter screwed up this relationship in every and each possible way...."Pacey, let me explain..." "Explain what? I'm not that stupid as you think I am...You treat me like I'm some sort of mental retarded, but I'm much better than this. And Jo, you never really loved me or all this could never happen..."

She didn't know what to do....Pacey got a summer job with Mr. Kubelik, Worthington's dean, at his boat, what meant all summer far from her...he didn't even talk to her after prom...And the summer of hell consisted in hanging out with Jen and Jack....she couldn't speak to Dawson, not after all that...but Jen and Jack helped her a lot during the summer. they were going to Boston university and were going to share an apartment with Pacey...Dawson went to UCLA, letting her a letter full of apologies, which she couldn't believe....and she got her Ivy League School, Worthington University, living at the dorms, afraid to phone Jack or Jen and Pacey answers it ..And there she was...

"Daydreaming again, bunny?" asked her roommate, Audrey...the blonde, happy, full of energy blonde, as she entered the room... "You know, Joey, I think you should speak to this Pete or whatever his name is..."

"Pacey? No, Audrey...I can't. And besides that he literally avoids me. You know...all the time I went to their apartment, he buries himself in his room or is never there..."

"Jo, bunny. You can't stay like this ...You know what you need? A new boyfriend...parties, go wild a little...Oh, talking about wild...Jen called earlier. She wants you to meet her at that cafe near BU...."

"When, Audrey?"

"What time is it? I think you were supposed to be there in 30 min..."

"Ok, ok...and you tell me now? Well, some coffee with Jen maybe is just what I need right now...you come?"

"Sorry, Jo, but I kind of need to study"

"Oh, god, Audrey needs to study. must be the end of the days...See ya"

"See ya, Jo...and good luck, you're gonna need it..." whispered a guilty Audrey as Joey closed the door...

Joey easily got there...that little café was her weekly meeting point with Jen and Jack. if anyone told her some years ago that the ones she would always hang out would be them, she would laugh to tears...she couldn't imagine that Pacey or Dawson wouldn't be a part of her life...She looked to all tables trying to find them and suddenly she froze...No, it couldn't be...but those blue eyes, as surprised as hers, looking form her usual table, could belong to just one person in the whole world...the only person who could make her feel alive: Pacey J. Witter.

To be continued...