Maybe Someday

It is dark. You lay next to me in bed, dreaming your silly, carefree dreams. You have no idea what I am about to do. How our lives are about to change.

Hopefully for the better.

The last year has been a nightmare. It seems like all we ever do is fight anymore. And it seems like it's getting worse. We were happy once, weren't we? Oh, you have no idea how much this hurts me. How much I love you. How much I have always loved you. But that is why I am leaving. For you, and for your happiness. We can't go on like this. And I can't give you what you want. What you need. But I can give you a second chance at life. And at love.

The clock strikes 2:00am. You roll over in bed as I stand up and dress silently. I don't want you to wake you up, so as a goodbye I simply kiss the top of your head gently. I left you a note, explaining everything. I hope you understand. I look at you one last time before I leave. I smile in spite of my pain. Tears fill my eyes and fall down my cheeks.

"I love you." I whisper. I turn around and leave the small London flat, only allowing myself one glance back.

I walk in silence for several blocks, tears stream down my face. I am thinking of you, and all we have been through together.

I remember when we were teenagers. Fighting constantly. But not like we do now.

We fought to hide our feelings from each other. To deny them even. I remember thinking, Maybe Someday.

I remember the night you told me you loved me.

It was graduation night. Our last night at Hogwarts. You got on your broom and flew to my window.

"Ron!" I said, surprised. "What are you doing?" You gave me your nervous, lopsided grin.

"I need to talk to you. Come on." You flew me over the lake and to Quidditch pitch where we got off and you asked me if, Maybe Someday, I could love you.

I remember the day you proposed. You had surprised even yourself.

It had been after a fight. I had my doubts but you always believed.

"Hermione," You said. "Don't you love me? Don't you believe in us? And that Maybe Someday we can be completely happy together?"

I hear someone in the distance, calling my name, running toward me as fast as they can.

"Hermione!" You yell. "Hermione, wait! Don't go!"

More tears leak out of my eyes and roll down my face, but I ignore you and walk on. You catch up to me and grab my arm and I come to a halt. You pull me close to you and wrap your arms around me, sobbing into my hair. We stand there, crying together for a several minutes. You step away.

"Hermione, why are you leaving me?" You ask, your eyes boring into mine.

"Because I can't take it anymore Ron!" I yell. "I just can't handle another fight! I won't do it do it! I can't!"

"But-but Hermione, I know that someday-"

"Shhh. Ron, something like this can't be based on someday...I want to be happy now."

"Hermione, you have to stay! I love you! I need you!" Your voice is breaking now. "I'll do anything. Please. Stay." I look deeply into your dark eyes and more tears trail down my cheeks. I want to! Oh, God I want to! I want to laugh and fall back into your arms, and I want everything to be okay! But the truth is that it's not! And it won't be.

"Ron—"I start, but you press your lips against mine and I can't finish. You gingerly place your hands behind my neck and it sends shivers up my spine. Suddenly I am filled with such happiness and joy. The feeling I only get when you kiss me. It's a feeling that is comforting and familiar yet new and exciting at the same time. We break apart slowly, not wanting the moment to end but knowing it must.

"Please." You whisper again.

I look at you sadly through eyes brimming over with glassy tears. I love you so much, but I know that hoping for some vague, distant future isn't happiness.

"Maybe Someday." I whisper.

And then I turn away, praying silently for someday to come.