to HEART .

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"there is always sunshine in the world"

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& a happy heart

ONESHOT. 005 :
smile smile a l w a y s

smile smile

Every now and then, sitting by the graveyard in the morning, eventually your thoughts are bound to linger. From the thoughts of "What if" & to "Home come", the guilt must rise from one time to another. It's the principle of life really— we all must live with scars. Some scars run deeper than others, but his deepest scars were the fact that his own actions drove the happiest girl alive six feet under. He woke up every day with the guilt of causing her death & the color yellow always left a bad taste in his mouth.

smile smile

Years ago, with her smile still much alive he could just imagine seeing her feet rooted next to him in her latest attempt at trying to win him over, romantically. She would flip her soft chestnut hair his way trying to allure him, but failed miserably. Instead, the light reflecting off of her hair would bounce into his eyes making him cringe. Though it never failed to make him smile. At the time Tidus had been fond of her attention and little minded. It was his reminder there was still sunshine in the world; just seeing her.

Every morning stepping down onto the island he would see her standing there, smiling. Sometimes during the late afternoon when she'd fallen asleep next to him on the dock he actually thought that one day she would win him over and the two would get married. He would think for a second and realize it wouldn't be that bad to wake up next to Selphie every morning.

Yet even with Selphie in the limelight he found his eyes quickly averted. Without even noticing he saw less and less of Selphie… he began spending more of his free time with Yuna. She was the closest thing to an angel he'd ever seen, she was practically perfect. He made his heart flutter and he realized he was in love.

With his time occupied by Yuna he began growing irritated and even aggressive towards Selphie. He found her once enjoyable bubbly disposition now a personality disorder, and being around her intolerable. He slightly noticed his change in behavior towards the girl, but little acknowledged it. But one day, it got out of hand:

The sun was setting on the islands and with Yuna sick in bed that week, Tidus hung out by himself. He found himself sitting at the dock where he and Selphie use to sleep. When he turned over, he felt a presence next to him. He opened his eyes to catch sight of her eyes and her sad expression. Her sandals slipped into the water but she didn't care. In a few moments she was bent forward and tilted her head.

Tidus felt a wrench in his heart when he saw her eyes water.

"I love you, Tidus."

He was shocked for a moment, but his agitated side took over as he growled out.

"Selphie stop being stupid. You don't just go around telling people you love them." He turned the opposing direction after they both had stood.

"But, I do love you."

Tidus began on his way back to the sandy shores, doing his best to ignore her.

Selphie was quick behind him, and she tried in his direction. "Tidus, I've loved you before her."

Tidus stopped dead in his tracks, and they both stood next to each other for a good minute. Selphie watched as Tidus clenched his fist. He grinded his teeth and yelled at the young girl.

"She has a name, Selphie!" Selphie had never seen Tidus actually made at anyone, let alone her. Yuna had ruined everything, and Selphie wasn't ready to let Tidus go so easily.

"Tidus I lov—" She began, before she was cut off. Before she reach realization she was simply caught in a state of absolute shock.

"Shut up, Selphie!" Tidus growled, knocking Selphie backwards. She was plummeted back into the sand of the islands, greeted by his cold stare. He had sometimes looked like he would be so aggressive to her, but had never taken an act of violence out on her. Selphie had deemed the day when Tidus did something like this to her… impossible.

Tidus felt his heart sink for a moment looking into her beautiful emerald orbs. They were still for a moment until slowly the slants of her eyes began watering. He had hurt Selphie. She grabbed hand fulls of sand as if trying to see if this was a dream, but it wasn't. He saw a look of terror on her face as she threw herself into the sound, sobbing uncontrollably.

Tidus never really saw Selphie after that day; he avoided her as best he could. He just couldn't face her after what he did… Selphie never took the time to seek him out either.

From what he heard around the island, Selphie began growing sick. At one point she'd actually stopped eating. Afterwards it was like her whole immune system broke down, and the doctor said they only thing he though it could be was lack of energy— of life.

Tidus did his best avoiding heart-breaking news about Selphie…he just couldn't handle it.

He'll never forget the day he saw Selphie's parents, or rather the look on their faces. He didn't even need them to tell him, their faces said it all. Selphie— she had died.

In the following weeks he could barely find the courage to attend her funeral. It was a milestone in his mentality to even accept the fact that she was dead, let alone… it was his fault. When he walked up to see her lying there in her casket her broke down. She lay there peacefully wearing her infamous yellow dress, and even her jump rope was next to her side.

Now looking back, he still felt that gravity of weight on him… realizing that after all, he did love her. Still… even with the enormous weight on his heart, Selphie was still always there to help him lift it a little, day by day.

He smiled as he read engraved on her tombstone:

There is still sunshine in the world

n e x t s h o t:

"you can't really marry her!"
"of course not, she's only a child."
we're simply playing house.
not everyone was simply playing.

R e a d & R e v i e w