The last of the direct quotes and the chapter is a bit longer than nine pages..but I didn't want to interrupt the flow.
Only one chapter left. Thanks for reading and reviewing this far!
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Chapter Four
We had no direct contact with him, but Cloud and his group were on the news quite often, so we were able to trace their movements through what filtered information we could gain. It was hard to decipher what was really going on because the news reported Shinra's side of the story. So we had no real idea just what was going on most of the time. What was consistent was that Sephiroth was a serious problem, not only to the Captain and his new friends or to Shinra, but the whole world.. This was illustrated extremely well when a few months after the Captain had left, in a rage of fire and thunder a loud explosion sounded from the north. I raced out side to see if the rocket was finally crashing down on us but our troubles were not so simple. Standing outside with the rest of the town we saw the distant sky to the far north flare with an aggressive light. That's when it came. The calm night sky was torn asunder by a fierce flash of red, it swirled menacingly. It was a magic spell, the likes of which we had never seen. It just hung there, high above the world leering at us. It slowly started to form, after a few days it was no longer just a light in the sky, it was a meteor. Or so it wanted to be, it was constructing itself up there, building itself bigger and bigger. Large enough to wipe out all life. It was horrible, I couldn't stand to look at it. I found myself confined in the house trying to stay busy so I didn't have to see it. I know it was stupid, but I still made tea everyday. It helped me cope, like it was only as if he was out slaying Velcher Tusks and would return in only a few minutes. Needless to say a lot of tea was wasted. It kept me calm, even though I was lying to myself to do so. Everyone did not use the tactic I had. There was world wide panic, Sephiroth had called that meteor, and we knew it would kill us all if it came down. I was scared, not only for myself but he was on the front lines, so to speak.
The meteor only swelled in size, and the news covered nothing about Cloud and his friends since the explosion at the northern crater. Shinra was scrambling to come up with anything to keep that massive rock out in space. It seemed out of nowhere but we were ordered to get the rocket into working condition as soon as possible. They planned to launch the rocket packed with super concentrated or "huge" materia, into the meteor. They believed it would destroy the bulk of it and would break it down into smaller meteors that would merely burn up in the planet's atmosphere. With out the Captain around to stop me I set foot in the rocket for the first time in four years to aid in it's tune up. Was our rocket really capable of saving the world? Did Cid know what the company was planning? The 26 was in surprisingly good form, and after we were told it would be put on autopilot, I decided to do as he always told me and leave the oxygen tanks alone. Auto Pilot? Why did I feel like that was not going to happen? I couldn't explain it, but when everyone was working on the routine systems I would sneak off to repair the escape pod.
I knew if the Captain was here, and this was four years ago he'd scold me, but just like I was then, I couldn't ignore it. I had an unshakable feeling that this would be important. Once again we were under watch by the company that had practically shunned us for so long. We had Rude, a bald tan skinned man of the Turks, watching our progress. They were going to launch this rocket as soon as they could. They weren't concerned if it flew the way it was supposed to, they just wanted to smash it into the menace that threatened us all. When I started, I knew the escape pod was in bad shape, but I never imagined how bad it really was. I managed to salvage it to a satisfactory condition, and I was certain it would function properly.
The day came sooner than it felt it should... they loaded up the materia to the right of the cockpit. We were allowed one more time inside the rocket to do maintenance. Though by then we just wanted to wish it good bye. It was so hard to think that it would be destroyed in only a few hours. A panicked worker found me and told me that one of the key devices of the auto pilot was broken. Without hesitation I set to work. It was getting close to lift off, but this was a simple repair, I could do it with out a problem. It was minutes until count down when I finished, I sent a crew member to inform Mr. Palmer that I had fixed it. I think it was the act of working on something that broke so randomly that shook my nerves enough to check the escape pod again. Something was off, my scans were coming back normal, but I wasn't sure if it had anything to do with the ship. It was taking off, going into space, without him. Maybe that was it. It was distant, but I was sure I heard his voice. I didn't have time to investigate however, it seemed as if Palmer had received my message and gone ahead with the launch. The rocket lurched and I braced myself inside the escape pod. The sound was deafening, the force was painful, and I wished I had strapped myself into the harness tighter. I think I blacked out for a few moments because when I regained my senses, it was calm. Was this it? Was this outer space? My scanner beeped at me and told me that the pod was in excellent form. Which meant I didn't have to smash into meteor with the 26, good news for me. Then I heard him again... and I was sure I had heard it.
I released myself from the restraint and my heart galloped in my chest. He was here! He had made it into space after all! He was making his way to the pod with what sounded like two other people. He was in the oxygen tank chamber, only a few feet away from me. I was so excited I might have thrown my arms around himas soon as he came into view, but I heard the explosion instead. My heart stopped beating and I knew what had happened before I saw it. The tank had blown, were they hurt? There came a groan and the clanking of metal.
"Damn! My leg's stuck in the debris... " growled Cid's voice, heavy with pain.
"Cid!" Cloud's voice sounded and echoed through the ship.
I started to run toward the sound. There was the racket of strenuous attempts of lifting the remnant of the tank.
"We can't lift it alone!" Said a female voice laced with worry and aggravation.
"Don't worry 'bout me. Hurry up and go! If you don't hurry, the rocket's gonna crash into Meteor!" The Captain's voice was laden with agony but still stern and commanding.
" ...I can't go without my friends." Cloud answered with finality.
"You shit head! There's no time to worry 'bout other people!" Cid roared.
"I'm gonna do whatever I can. " Cloud's voice was calm and determined.
"You're stupid. You're really fuckin' stupid." The Captain growled. I paused as he spoke again, his voice was soft... and I almost didn't hear him. "Tank Number 8 blew up..." His tone was filled with painful understanding. "So Tank Number 8... really was malfunctioning... Shera... You were right." My heart ached at the hopelessness in his voice. "But, ...this is the end for me."
I was almost to them just a foot away from the door.
"Don't say that, Cid. " I entered the room slightly winded. He was trapped under a large hunk of metal that had been Tank 8. He was barely visible beyond the debris, but I saw him blink at me testing his vision.
"Shera? "
"I tagged along. I'm coming to help you" I finally had the urge to take my eyes off him and saw Cloud and the beautiful young woman with the long dark brown hair trying to free him. I took my place between them.
" You stupid reckless fuck head! " He shouted at me, but I saw that glint that had been absent from his eyes for so long. He locked his eyes on me with sorrow. "... sorry."
I put in everything I had and I felt our combined strength lift the debris. We got him out and managed to get him into the escape pod with little difficulty. I began the process of ejecting the pod as Cloud and woman, who the Captain and Cloud called Tifa, strapped themselves in.
"Hey, Shera! Does this pod really fly?" Cid's voice came from behind me, sounding anxious and trying to hide his pain. His leg was torn up pretty bad.
"It'll be okay. I've been checking it till now. " I answered as I punched in the code to close the hatch.
"...Then I'm relieved."
I turned to him and saw the relief in his eyes, I felt a blush creep over my face.
"...thanks."
I hit the timed ejection button and quickly strapped myself in. He was watching me carefully, like a hawk actually, and I felt my face redden deeper. The pod removed itself from the main shuttle smoothly and we swivelled around in the weightlessness of space, the small window filling with stars. Cid stared out the opening, in the fashion of a child pressing his nose against the glass of a candy store. I couldn't help but smile.
"So this is... outer space... Man... it's the real thing... I'm really here in outer space... " He said in a daze, the celestial display swimming past his eyes. He suddenly got serious, Cloud and Tifa leaned over each other to see what was happening. "So long. Shinra No. 26..." The Captain stated in a fashion of a commander sending his troops out to battle.
It happened just like they planned it. The rocket hit the meteor, smacked it into smaller pieces. But, as we were approaching the atmosphere we noticed it was rebuilding itself. It was all for nothing. Reentry was rough and we landed violently in the ocean. Cloud opened the hatch and the sky above still glowed with the red light of the meteor. I felt so out of place, I didn't know what they had been doing, what they hoped to gain by getting on the shuttle. Tifa nudged Cloud gently with a glance at Cid than me, climbed out onto the surface of the pod and he followed her taking out a cell phone as he went. I finally removed the restraints.
"Ya called me Cid up there... I don't recall you ever callin' me by my name more than once before." He had his eyes closed.
"I.. I guess I was just was surprised.."
"I didn't say I minded." He rubbed his eyelids. "I guess I'm the stupid one huh? You were right all along. If I had gone up four years ago..."
"How is your leg?" I asked him, not wanting to hear what could have happened.
"Hurts. But we got some materia that'll fix it right as rain. Just gotta wait for the Highwind to get here," He said dismissively.
"You got back the Highwind?" I cried unable to hide my joy.
"You bet your ass I did." His eyes opened and my enthusiasm was greeted by the crooked smile I had fallen in love with. "They messed her up a bit, added some switches and shit but, she's still there."
"Oh Captain, that's wonderful!" My grin was big and goofy but I didn't care.
"Yeah... but I gotta wonder how long we've got to use her." He frowned slightly. "This whole Sephiroth business is worse than you can imagine. I've seen what he can do..." His eyes looked through me with a sadness in them, "...the bastard's shown us so many times. Things are lookin' real bad."
"Don't give up Captain... if anyone can stop him, it's your new friends."
"Kids..." He laughed. His eyes saw me again. "The lot of 'em are just numbskull kids, but we have gotten pretty far I suppose."
We didn't speak for a while, the waves lapped around us and we could hear Cloud and Tifa talking above us. I wanted to tell him, tell him I loved him, wanted to try my hand at kissing him again. When he spoke my name I nearly jumped out of my skin,
"Shera... I'm sorry." He didn't make eye contact. "I never should have been so hard on you... said all those..."
"Captain... don't. It's all right. I understand."
"It's not all right!" He snapped at me. "How can you be so understanding? Why didn't you try to kill me in my sleep for what I did to you when you knew you were right all this time?"
"I didn't know Captain! I thought I had just been over cautious..."
"Well... thank you." He said sweetly. I bit my lip with a blush. "I really don't deserve to have a person like you to depend on."
The airship came into view and we were quickly rescued from the bobbing of the ocean. Being back inside the airship filled me with a tingling warmness that I hadn't felt in so long. The past few years were like nothing more than a bad dream that I had finally been awoken from. The rest of the group was on the airship and I recognized the faces I had seen from that first news report. There was one face missing, that of the young woman with green eyes. Cid was taken to the meeting room where he was healed. He and I were left alone after the magic had taken full effect.
"How well does the Highwind run when it's so short handed?" I asked him trying to be as sly as possible.
"You're going back to the town." He said keen to my game.
"But!" I started.
"I mean it. You're not coming." He said flatly as he tested his freshly healed leg.
"I can help you!"
"I know you'd be amazing up here, but you're place is there."
"But.. What if you die!" I choked on the last word.
"I don't intend to, not yet anyway."
The argument ended there. I couldn't convince him otherwise. I found myself back at the town in only a few minutes, and was faced with being separated from him again. I tried in vain to change his mind but he brushed me off.
"Say hi to the gang for me." He said as he removed me from the vessel. "I'll be seein' ya."
I watched the airship depart numbly. When it was no longer visible I trekked back to the Rocket-less Rocket town. I was greeted with surprise and happiness from the townspeople. I had to recount what had happened to them. They were all so glad to hear the Captain was well that Nick's bar was packed to the gills for the rest of the evening with drinks on the house. I, on the other hand, returned to Cid's house. I sat at the kitchen table, and got lost in my worried mind about what they were going to do next.
No rest came for me or the world. When the meteor was summoned the planet awakened it's own counter attack. Ancient enormous monsters simply called WEAPON were dispatched to eliminate what was causing the world so much anguish. Unfortunately for us, humans were the biggest threat within their line of fire. So on top of the evil Sephiroth had unleashed, we now had to worry about these five beasts bigger than any city, that existed only to remove us from the planet we had poisoned. One was killed by the giant cannon that was attached to the military port town of Junon, but the rest remained to wander freely. There wasn't much time left. Meteor was coming, it was only a few days away from smashing into us, and we knew it. Shinra felt that if they could get to Sephiroth they might be able to stop it, Cid and his friends must have had the same idea too. But the SOLDIER was not careless, he had encased the sanctuary of his lair deep in the northern crater with an impenetrable barrier spell. But wasn't it believed that the WEAPONs were also impenetrable? Shinra apparently thought the same way I did and arranged for the massive canon from Junon to be modified and attached onto Midgar.
It was all done quickly, and the city now had a Mako canon the likes of which the world had never seen. We watched the news for constant updates, our nerves were raw, and more than a few of us had suffered from emotional breakdowns. The preparations were complete when the camera panned up suddenly, there she was. The Highwind was speeding toward Midgar, a confused hush fell over the lot of us crammed around the bar's television. They were there... he was there. The airship soared over the city, as it did so we saw people jumping over board, my heart caught in my throat. Parachutes erupted in the distant sky like puffy fireworks. I could barely believe what I was seeing, the Highwind continued on it's path as it's passengers floated down into the frantic city. The newscaster was giving some award winning monolog I'm sure, but I couldn't hear over my fear. I saw it even before the cameraman did.
"WEAPON!" I screamed and jammed my finger at the televison. I couldn't breathe as I was surrounded by screams and shouting. It was gigantic and it was rumbling toward Midgar with a mission.
I stood and fought my way to the door. I came out into the harsh night light of the meteor the air was thick with my panic. I had to go, I had to help him, my arm was seized by a strong hand. Donnie wheeled me around and stared surprised into my frantic eyes.
"What are you doing?" He asked me.
"I have to go to Midgar! I have to help him!" I tried to break away.
"Don't be an idiot! You'd never make it and if you did you'd be killed!" He shook me, trying to reawaken my senses.
"I can't just sit here!"
"You're not going. Just calm down, the Captain is in good company. He'll be fine." He held me in place.
"No I have to save him! It's the only thing I'm good at! I can't loose him!" I was hysterical, my emotional break down had finally caught up with me.
"Hey... hey, get a hold of yourself! There's nothing you can do this time... You've got to believe in him."
My meltdown was, thankfully, only seen by Donnie. He was always there when I needed him, he grounded me and tried to beat sense back into my head. I didn't think about then but now I wonder if he had deeper feelings than friendship for me. He knew I would be a mess in a few minutes and brought me back to the Captain's house. It used to smell like him, used to retain his smoke and cologne now it just smelled like me. I tried so hard to remember what he smelt like, it was there subconsciously but I couldn't pull it back up to the surface. I found Donnie handing me a glass and some pills.
"Sleeping pills." He explained to my runny face. "You haven't been sleeping well and if you stay awake I'll have to get people to guard you to be sure you don't try anything crazy."
"Donnie..."
"Take them. If anything happens we'll get you." He ruffled my hair lightly and watched me until I took the pills. He ushered me toward Cid's room, I stopped.
"My bed is in..." I started but he opened the door.
"Your 'bed' is a hard cot, that is only adding to your sleeping problem. You can't keep this room like a shrine to him Shera. He'd want you to use it... I know he would." He explained gently and firmly. "Get some sleep okay? If the others see you like this we'll all fall apart."
I stared at his bed, untouched for so long. With a small nod, I wiped my wet face on the sleeve of my shirt.
"There's a good girl." He smiled but it was a sad smile. He left the room and closed the door behind him.
I curled up on top of the sheets that faintly held the ghost of his fragrance. Why did I feel so lost? Donnie was right, I should have faith in him... but WEAPON? I closed my eyes and a few droplets soaked Cid's blankets. The medicine was taking effect quickly, probably because I didn't eat that much in recent days, my nerves wouldn't allow me to. I had a nightmare filled slumber, unable to wake up, I suffered through horrors that I cannot recount. When I broke out of their grip I was curled up even tighter on the Captain's deshabilled bed. It was the early hours of the morning. Too soon for even the sun to wake up but, I rubbed the sleep out of my crusty eyes anyway. I sat up and the door opened a crack.
I held my breath, was it him? Had he returned when I was out? Donnie appeared in the slowly opening door, he held a letter in one hand and a serious frown on his face. My heart fell, he entered the room and sat on the foot of the bed. With out looking at me he handed me the letter.
"It's from your mom."
I turned over the envelope in my hands. Her elegant handwriting was blotched with dark ink stains. I hadn't heard from her since I returned to Rocket Town, I opened it carefully. The letter was short and the inked words were diluted by the falling tears of the writer. I swallowed hard and read the letter. My brother Evan had gone into Midgar, they hadn't heard from him in weeks, she was worried beyond what she could form into words. She must have written this when the Shinra were still constructing the canon. She wanted me to find out where he was, if he was well, if I could, if I still had friends in the city. She apologized to me. It felt shallow but it was still an apology, no doubt my father had made her. I reached the end of the letter and saw Donnie holding his head in his hands.
"... what happened?" I asked as a lump formed in my throat.
"Shinra... it's gone." He said as if he couldn't find the right words.
"What do you mean it's gone?"
"WEAPON... it attacked... the Shinra building... all it's inhabitants... they're dead."
I felt like I was hit in the face with a brick. This had to be a nightmare... I hadn't woken up.
"W..what about the Captain?" I asked, not sure I wanted an answer.
"We lost all coverage after Midgar was attacked... there's been nothing... I'm sorry."
I looked at the letter again not sure what to do, what to feel.
"I think... you should go be with your family. If your brother was really in Midgar... he might not have made it out..."
It was devastating. I couldn't imagine that two people so close to me could be gone so quickly. He was right, if Evan hadn't escaped... I needed to be there for my parents... they needed to be there for me. I prayed that Evan was safe... I had a feeling that he would have fled
the second there was a hint of danger, but Cid... was he in the building when... ? Donnie was watching me, I patted his shoulder gently.
"I'm going to need a way to get to Kalm..."
"We've had an overflow of Helicopters come in, all the airborne crafts that were out when... well, some of them came here... the rest went to Junon. Someone will help you." He looked like he was fighting to keep quiet.
"What is it? Do you have something else to tell me?" I asked calling his discomfort.
"No. Not yet." Was all he said.
I found a pilot quickly and was on my way back to Kalm before noon. Just flying through the air we could tell that the world had changed. It was maddeningly quiet, the Meteor was right above us... close enough it seemed like the rotor would scrape against the bottom of the rock in a few minutes. It was almost about to come crashing down on us... I did the math in my head... It looked like it was aimed at Midgar.
Kalm hadn't changed. People seemed to be in a state of denial and blind optimism. I was greeted by a few who remembered me from when my mother introduced us. I had to give them credit , seeing as how I looked nothing at all like the squeaky clean doll I had been. I knocked on the front door and my brother Steven's wife answered. I had met her only a handful of times before but she hugged me like I was her own sister. Steve came and pried his sobbing wife off me and gave me a hug of his own.
"Have you heard anything?" I asked.
"He's home." He smiled lightly.
I smiled in return and entered the house, it seemed so small, so different. Evan had been true to my instincts and though he now had a broken nose and leg, he was safe. He greeted me with a hug and a kiss when I sat beside him on the bed. My father followed his suit, my mother simply smiled. Evan told me about his action packed escape from the crumbling city. I had to wonder how much of it was embellished. He went into such detail and had apparently told the story so many times that everyone else was eager to leave us together.
"Evan... did you see any parachutes?" I asked.
"Parachutes?" He blinked, like the word was jogging his memory. "Ya know... I think I did. Before everything went to hell there were a bunch of them. Why?"
"You don't know if you saw any of those people did you?"
"Don't think so, I was runnin' in the other direction. Why? What's eatin' ya sis?" He locked his brown eyes on me.
"It's nothing. I'm so glad you're okay." I smiled, hiding my worry.
It was over dinner the following evening that I told them that I deduced that Meteor was going to hit Midgar. I asked them to come back to Rocket Town with me, there would be enough room for them and they would be far away from the impact.
"No offense Shorty," that's what Steve had called me since I was five. "But I don't think it matters where we are. That thing is going to come down and mess things up, it doesn't matter how far you go."
He was right, but... I don't know. Rocket Town... it made me feel safe. That was my home, I missed it now, even though I knew there was no one there waiting for me. My mother was looking at me as if she could read my thoughts. I lowered my eyes onto my barely disturbed plate.
"You look tired Shera, honey." My dad said worry crinkling the lines around his eyes.
"I am, I think I'm going to sleep now."
"Sleep?" Evan asked incredulously, the bandaged nose making his voice sound funny. "Don't waste your time sis! If we're gunna die soon we may as well hit up the bar! C'mon! We'll light up the town! The Olsen kids will go out in style!" He smiled around the table.
"Sorry. I don't feel all that well." I said apologetically, took my plate and left the room.
They watched me go and it was a few moments until they were talking loudly again. I scraped the surplus of uneaten food into the trash and placed my dishes in the sink. I felt so empty, I was a horrible person. I should have been beside myself with joy that my brother was alive, but my thoughts were constantly on the fate of the Captain.
"He stayed here for a bit after you left that night..." My mother's voice made me jump. She was walking toward me, her eyes on the dirty dishes. "You're blonde co-worker."
"I...I know." I said tearing my eyes away from her. We hadn't really talked since I came back.
"I saw him on the news... he's one of those terrorists now." She said plainly.
"He's not a..." I started angrily but I saw she hadn't meant it to come out like that.
"You hurt him very badly." She said as she turned on the water and grabbed the dish soap. "But he told me that I was worse than you ever were."
"He did?" I habitually grabbed a towel.
"I just wanted to save you from a lonely life. I never lived like you so I didn't know how you could be happy doing things I didn't. He accused me of destroying you... he told me if you brought any dresses back to the base he'd come back and the conversation would be far less civil. It wasn't civil to begin with."
"I didn't."
"I know. He knew you wouldn't either... I think that's why he said it. Dear, I'm sorry. I never should have let it go this long. I didn't think that..."
"It's okay." I dried my plate and placed it on the shelf where it lived.
"You love him." It wasn't a question. I couldn't find the words to answer her, she smiled gently. "I could tell from the second he came in the house. I didn't want you to go off with some strange angry man... which was selfish. I know that now. It's not my decision who you end up with... are you two still close?"
"H.." My eyes filled with tears and I desperately tried to choke them back. "He.. Might be dead."
She stared at me as I fought to control myself. My bottom lip was trembling and I bit it to try and regain my composure.
"Oh Shera..." She hugged me.
"I want to believe he's alive... t.. that he made it out like Evan... but I can't mom, I can't."
"He won't come here to find you." She said gently. "You've got to go home, he'd be there, worried about you."
"B...but what about you... and.."
"We'll be fine dear. Seeing you these past few days, we knew you were distracted. It's so good to see you... but you're heart is somewhere else." She wiped the few stray tears that had swelled over my defenses. "We'll see you off tomorrow morning."
"Thanks mom."
I was off on my way home quicker than I expected. My family told me they loved me and sent me off with smiles. I was so anxious to get back, I could swear my heart beat had been replaced with a frantic "please be there, please be there". The helicopter landed outside the town and I thanked the pilot as I frantically scrambled out of the chopper. I walked into the unchanged town. No one was outside, was that a good sign? I rushed to the house... it was dark and looked empty.
"Shera?" Donnie caught up to me winded.
"Donnie, have you heard anything?"
His eyes became sad and he put a hand on my shoulder.
"Come look."
My heart froze. No, what had happened? He opened the door and I was terrified. Please don't let him show me his body.. Oh god.. I would die. He turned on the kitchen light and I saw a mess. I blinked. Empty liquor bottles and cigarette butts were everywhere. Over the strange odors, I found it... it smelt like him.
"He was here." Donnie said sadly as he brushed some empty bottles into a trash can.
"Where is he now? Is he at the bar?" I asked nearly jumping out of my skin. He shook his head.
"He's gone."
"G..gone?" I repeated weakly as I collapsed into an empty chair at the table.
"He left late last night..."
"Where? Where was he going? Is that helicopter still out there?" I asked sitting up straight. I would not be defeated so easily. If that stupid rock was going to kill me I wanted to die in his arms. Donnie shook his head again.
"It turns out that the canon was able to fire before WEAPON destroyed it, the blast tore through the monster killing it and went on to destroy Sephiroth's barrier."
"He... they wouldn't..." I stammered.
"They were going down there today to face him. He wanted to... he wanted to see us all one last time." He looked at me miserably.
"But... but he... I mean... I wasn't... Donnie..." I took a sharp intake of breath as I felt my bottom lip shaking.
Donnie sat across from me and pulled out an envelope from his pant pocket. He eyed it and turned it over in his dirty hands.
"When you asked me the other day if I had something else to tell you... I did. But what I had to tell you wasn't from me. He told me not to say anything until he was dead... and I wasn't sure he was then. I guess I was right... but I didn't expect him to come back when you were gone. Nether did he." He slid the envelope toward me. "He gave this to me before he left last night. Don't read it until I leave... But what he told me not to tell you may not be in there. It was a long time ago he made me promise to keep my big mouth shut so he may have forgotten."
I took the letter slowly as he let out a heaving sigh.
"We never went to Midgar to see Palmer that day we went to your house."
I stopped. My brain could barely work above a crawl at this point.
"He was a mess when you weren't here after the screwed up launch... he thought that if you were gone that he'd be able to push all his anger off on you and move on. He couldn't. Shera, I've known him a long time and I had never seen him act so strangely. From the first day you came here, he was different. Nothing drastic, at first I thought that he was glad you were as good as everyone made you out to be but... I soon figured it was deeper than that. After you left, after he drove you away... he was useless. We couldn't talk to him with out having to repeat ourselves five times until he snapped at us and stormed off. He missed you. At that point he was so full of anger and resentment toward you he wouldn't admit to it. I took it upon myself to confront him. I've never told anyone any of this before, but after he denied it for a while... he admitted it. He told me how messed up it all was, he didn't know why he missed you, I had to tell him." Donnie sighed again. "I knew we wouldn't get him back until you returned, so I told him we were going to get you. He came up with the Palmer story and swore me to stick to it. I wanted to tell you when you asked me that very night... but he would have killed me." Donnie raised his eyes to mine. "Now you know."
"Donnie... I..."
He stood and started toward the door.
"I've got to get going... you read that letter 'kay?" He left with out letting me say anything.
I looked at the white envelope covered in dirt smudges and oily fingerprints. My fingers gently opened the paper casing of what might be the last thing I ever read. The letter was equally dirty and I immediately recognized his unruly handwriting. I got choked up and had to take a deep breath before I read it.
"Shera,
What the hell? I came all the way back here to see you an' your sorry ass is off with the walrus woman? Sorry... what I meant to write was. "I hope your brother is okay." Shit. I really wanted to see you. I'm sure Donnie's told ya what fool headed thing we're gunna do, that is unless you never get this. But if you don't get this and someone else is reading it GET YOUR FUCKING NOSE IN YOUR OWN DAMN BUSINESS! But if you are... I wanna let you know that before I left the ship, our "fearless leader" Cloud told us not to come back unless we had a reason to fight, something we were willing to die to protect. I could have stayed on the ship when I heard him say that cuz' I already have one. It's you. I know, I know, you're probably thinking if that were true I'd never treat ya the way I did... I'm sorry about that. I really, really am. I didn't stay on the Highwind (who's runnin' better than ever, so ya know) when Spikey gave us his little speech because I wanted to see you. We're going into the mouth of madness itself and I don't know if lady luck will be on my side or not this time. Come to think of it... she's you. You've been my saving grace so many times... you saved me the time the 26 almost went up and when I got trapped up there, you were my lady luck. But you also made my decision for me when Cloud an' the rest of his idiot gang were takin' the Bronco... I didn't know what to do. There you were, you gave me my spear and told me to go with your eyes. As it turns out, though it's been rough as hell, I was supposed to do this. So how about it lady luck? Will we see each other again? I'll be sure to kick Sephiroth an extra time for you... I really wanted to see you, but I know you'll get this... cross your fingers and say a lil' prayer. Maybe I'll get back to ya in one piece.
Thank you for everything,
Cid."
I put my head down on the dirty table and cried. Lady luck? Me? I was the lucky one. His words sounded so hopeless, why did I have to leave? I should have been here... They were already in that crater... they'd probably been in there for hours. They might be nothing more than the first casualties of the apocalypse at this point. He wanted to see me, he said, but he couldn't possibly want to see me more than I wanted to see him now. It wasn't written, I might have imagined it, but to me all the words he wrote... though they said what they said... I could feel something underneath them. I love you. I closed my eyes and prayed. I prayed to anything that would listen, I was a woman of science... I know faith and science are more like oil and water but I prayed like a nun. I called out to any angel I could, I even went as far too ask the Highwind to protect him. I was so useless stuck here, but I would only be more useless down in the center of the world with him. The bottles and cups in the cabinets started to rattle. I lifted myself up from the shaking table and found my way out side. It was happening.
Even though an ocean separated the continents, we could see it. The Meteor was through the atmosphere and was making it's descent. If it had been a regular natural meteor it would have taken only a few seconds to collide and wipe us out, but it was a magic spell. It hung over the world menacingly taunting us. The shaking told us that it was destroying something... Midgar. It would be over in only a few minutes. I felt a hand grab mine. Donnie had his horror filled eyes unblinkingly locked on the calamity. I closed my eyes and recalled Cid's face... if this was happening, my luck hadn't helped anything. We braced ourselves for the end. I thanked Donnie for being my closest friend and he gave my hand a supportive squeeze.
A massive concussion sent us all falling to the floor. I looked up, my back pressed flat against the grass and saw a mass of brilliant white-blue light scream toward the meteor. It left floating spots over my vision, what was it? I heard people shouting around me and sat up. The light was blocking meteor, trying to push it back up into space... or was it destroying it? Whatever it was trying to do... the light flickered helplessly... were we too late to even be saved by miracles? Then it started. Green wispy beams of light streamed across the sky and as they passed over head the ground around us greeted them with more. We were surrounded by these lights as they danced around each other and quickly rushed to the aid of the white light. It was so beautiful... I didn't know what any of it meant... but I knew it wanted to keep us. The planet wanted humans to say. A huge explosion of light burned my eyes and the town was filled with painful cries. I held my eyes shut but my eyelids were not thick enough to block out all the light. A warm wind blew through the town and the light was gone.
I flinched and blinked my eyes open as a hand helped me to my feet. Donnie came back into view and he shared my surprise. It was gone. Meteor, the lights, gone like they never existed to begin with. It took a second but the townspeople exploded into cheers. We were alive... we were alive.
There was a party that very instant, and I was sure the rest of the world had also done the same. I found little comfort in the future. I wanted to be happy, I knew that he had died for this... but. I didn't want to live without him. After I shared a few drinks with the gang I snuck away to the house. His letter was on the table still. I picked it up and read it again. Had my luck saved us? Was I even lucky at all? I regretted so much... I wanted to kiss him. Wanted to know what that felt like. Now, I could only find him in my dreams. I wasn't going to kill myself. I knew that I would have to respect his sacrifice and help rebuild what we could. I felt like my heart had been ripped out... I silently moved into his room. As soon as I opened the door I was reunited with the smell of cigarettes and his crisp cologne. He had probably slept in here when he came the other day, even if it was only for a few hours... while he waited to see if I'd come home.
I curled up on his bed, taking in what I knew time would only strip away too soon. I had to carry on, I knew I would have to be strong... but it didn't have to be today.
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