Mimi and I didn't know where to begin looking, as neither of us tended to hang out with the drama queen when she wasn't with her other half. Or former other half. Whatever. I called Mark who was still in Scarsdale to ask him where she might be, but he was of no use considering that he had always let her do her own think, probably mostly because he was a afraid she would leave him if he stopped her. I think she wanted him to stop her. We walked around the Village for a while, searching bars and parks, the space, etc. Then I got an idea."
"Hey Meems, why don't you go on back to the loft? I think I know where she is." She looked at me skeptically.
"Are you sure that you don't want me to help you out?" I nodded.
"If she is where I think she is, I can handle her."
"If you say so…" Mimi walked away slowly at first, looking confused. I assured her that this was for the best, and she went on her way.
I found Maureen exactly where I expected to—the graveyard. Maureen and I had a couple things in common—the places we went when we were truly upset—either April's grave or the roof of the loft. Being that she ran away from the loft, that idea was out. I walked up to her slowly, knowing that I needed to talk to her, but also knowing well the desire to be left alone—I holed myself up for a year after April died.
As I got nearer to Maureen, I saw that she was silently sobbing. She looked so frail and weak that I just wanted to protect her from the world. But honestly, there wasn't really anything to be done to ease the pain of finding out that you have AIDS. I stopped a few feet behind her.
"Hey." She turned around slowly, uncurling from the small blob that she had been folded into. She looked tired and depressed, though understandably so.
"What do you want from me?" Her tone was hollow, she sounded detached.
"I…wanted to make sure that you were okay."
"How did you know I'd be here?"
"Well, I looked everywhere in the Village, but I kinda figured if you weren't on the roof, you would be here." I walked over to her and sat down beside her, "I was worried about you—you took off so quickly."
"Why does it matter to you?"
"Because you are one of my best friends. I love you." She hugged her knees into her chest.
"Are you sorry that we fucked?"
"Only if you are. Are you?"
"I don't even know what I think anymore, Rog. I guess I shouldn't have expected anything to change just because we fucked."
"You expected something?" She looked embarrassed, and broke my gaze. "Maureen, I'm not judging you! I was just wondering because…I feel…the same way." She looked me in the eye, and leaned in, kissing me firmly, then more hungrily, seemingly needing it. When we broke apart a couple minutes later, we were panting.
"Roger, what the fuck are we doing?" I shook my head.
"I don't know, but I'm willing to try to figure it out…" She smiled. "Come on, let's go back so I can show Mimi that you are alive. We were tearing the city apart looking for you!" She looked a little down at the mention of Mimi, so I added in a deeper, softer tone of voice "And we can talk about us later tonight, okay?" She nodded, and we headed back to the loft.