One True Thing
By
Chanlin Marr
There's no love in the world more pure than the sating of addiction.
It's sincere, and you feel it; you feel it in your gut. It doesn't complain, doesn't judge, doesn't make you feel guilty or inadequate. As long as you get your taste, you're complete for that little while. Then you can get on with things, with life, with the gray stuff that fills your night.
And when you hit another low, you reach out and touch that purest of loves again. For another boost. Another glimpse of paradise.
It's better than emotional love. Emotions are fickle; transitory. A bad day for either side can cause a rift that never mends. Addiction is the solution to any bad day, and the only rift is the time between fixes.
My mind's eye exploded into a myriad of beauties: showers of vermilion raindrops backlit by a euphoric glow of pleasure and power. Her blood was clean and innocent, full of hope not yet mired by the world's grim realities. It told me that such things still existed in the hearts of the rare few, and I was in love again.
Not with her, whoever she was. She was emotion, and transitory. I fell in love with the moment; that instant her essence provided my dull edges with a whetstone to better cleave my way through the bullshit. I could see through the fog, and forced myself to remember the path I needed to follow.
I eased her softly onto the stairs at the entrance of her dormitory, the sensations provided by my kiss leaving her semi-conscious and dazed. I stared down at her with inhuman eyes, amazed at the glow she radiated, and wondered with a disturbing glee at how much my violation of her might dim it, once she came to.
I retreated back into the shadows from which I had come, though the shades of night were meaningless to me, and silently scaled the wall, leaving the convent behind.
Out on the street, I let my fix hum outwards in the only language the rest of them could understand: false emotion. They responded with curious looks and unspoken desire.
I smiled inside, at how ignorant they all were.