Audrey entered the room, noticing that Joey was putting some clothes in a bag; she would probably spend the night at Pacey's again. Since Thanksgiving they would be like that, sleeping together almost every night. She sighed, wishing she could tell Joey what was going on with her life right now, but she was afraid she wouldn't understand her.

"Going to sleep over Pacey's again, Bunny?"

"Yep, my last final is in two days, but he has Calculus final tomorrow and he hates everything related to Math, so he asked me to help him to study." She answered with a smile.

"Mmmhhmmm. Study? Math? I bet he has Applied Anatomy on his mind, not Math." Audrey joked, ducking to avoid the pillow Joey threw at her. Her face fell for a moment; she envied what her friend had with Pacey. Joey sensed there was something wrong with Audrey, but whenever she asked her, the usual answer would be fine, I'm fine. She shrugged imperceptibly. If Audrey wasn't ready to tell her, she was going to wait till she came around.

"Aud, I'm going, enjoy the silent room and try to get some study. See you tomorrow." Joey told her from the door.

Audrey plopped her self on her bed, staring the ceiling. Joey was a good friend, but would she be able to forgive her about what she had been doing?

Jen and Jack were trying to study for their finals, but their minds were completely spaced out, they couldn't concentrate. Jen closed her book with a loud thud.

"I can't do this anymore, Jack! Why did I come to college?"

"To party?" Jack laughed; he was as bored as she was.

"Yeah, maybe." She had a pout face. "But right now, I'm tired of everything, of studying, of Charlie, especially of Charlie."

"What has Mr. Guitar man made now?" He asked, knowing that these past weeks she always had something to complain about him.

"I don't know, Jack. He's been distant; he seems he doesn't care anymore. I know I'm not in love with him, not like our lovey dovey friends that barely leave the room, but I like him, he's the first guy I like since Harry, and it hurts me…"

"I don't know, Jen, I'm not the best advisor in the relationship department." Jack sighed. "I'm nothing more than Rick's sex buddy that answers his bootie calls."

"You should turn straight, Jack. All our problems would be solved."

They both laughed at Jen's statement.

"We both suck, Grace."

"I totally agree, Will."

They heard a loud moan coming from Pacey's room, making them groan disgusted.

"I can't believe they're at it again." Jen exclaimed.

"Time for a coffee…somewhere far from here." Jack replied, grabbing Jen's hand taking her outside, both laughing.

"God, Jo, yes, right there." Pacey moaned loudly again.

"Stop it, Witter!" She smacked the back of his head.

"Ouch, Potter, that hurts!" He turned his head to see her. He was lying on his stomach, while Joey was comfortably sat on his butt, giving him a massage.

"It will hurt even more if you don't stop this. Did you forget that Jen and Jack are trying to study in the next door? Or should I remind that you have to study too?"

He grinned, rolling his body beneath her, so she was now straddling him.

"I already studied, I'm tired." He smoothed her bare thighs with his hands, making her quiver. "Now, I can have my wicked way with you." He winked.

"No, Pacey! You know the deal. No study, no sex." She leaned in to kiss him, letting her lips linger on his face.

"Joey, just a quickie…" His hands were now caressing her waist inside her shirt, better put, his shirt.

"Nope. Not until you finish this chapter."

"Dictator!" He mumbled.

"Lazy!" she poked out her tongue.

"How many times do I have to tell you to not show me your tongue unless you're planning on using it?"

"But I'm planning, Pace…after you finish this."

"Fine, fine. But could you just gimme a hint on what you're planning?"

Joey leaned again, whispering something in his ear. Pacey flipped them over, throwing his book across the room, making her laugh.

"And do you expect me to concentrate after saying that? Now it's time to teach you a lesson." He tickled her merciless.

"Stop, Pacey, please!" She was laughing uncontrollably.

"It will be a pleasure." He whispered, his mouth holding hers captive.

Audrey paced around her room, trying to figure out what to do, when she heard a knock. She opened it, to find Charlie smiling at her. She jumped into his arms kissing him. Tomorrow, tomorrow she would think about it.

Dawson was on his seat on the plane back home wondering what he would tell his family after flunking all his exams. He chuckled to himself, not even Pacey on his worst days could do that, so that could be seen as quite an accomplishment. But he had found better things to do, wild parties in LA where you could do anything and take anything your heart desires. Just to take his mind of Joey…maybe she would like him better now, if she wanted a bad boy, well, she couldn't find one better than him. It would be a surprise for little Ms. Josephine Potter, he thought, closing his eyes to take a nap during the long hours of flight.

Jen tried to concentrate again on the paper she was doing, while Jack was busy talking on the telephone to Rick. Although he said he was ok with the no commitment thing he had with Rick, she knew him better. He was falling more and more each day for him and there was nothing she could do about it. But who was she to talk? Her very own boyfriend hadn't been a model lately, but she didn't want to let him go, that would be recognizing that she had failed again on the relationship department. She felt something was really wrong, and she wanted someone to talk, but all her friends were so wrapped up in their own problems or lack of, talking about Pacey and Joey, that she didn't want to bother them with her problems. She sighed heavily, getting back to her paper. Soon, the finals would be over and maybe things would be back to normal too.

Joey got back to her dorm room, happy that she had just taken her last final, and she felt she could expect at least a B+ on it. She laughed; Pacey would say she was being way too modest. She opened the door and stopped, shocked with what she saw: Audrey and Charlie making out on her bed.
"Audrey! Charlie! What the hell do you think you're doing?"
The couple broke the kiss and sat on the bed, both embarrassed and started to talk together.

"Joey, it's not what you are thinking."

"C'mom, Charlie, your tongue was down her throat."

"Joey I wanted to tell you…"

"Audrey, it's not me you both owe an explanation, it's Jen. I'm really disappointed with both of you. Jen has been nothing but nice to you Audrey and a good girlfriend to you, Charlie, so what's the excuse?"

"Things just happened, Joey, we didn't plan this." Charlie tried to explain.

"But you guys could be honest. You could break up with Jen and then hook up with Audrey."

"You are not telling her, are you?" He asked dropping his eyes to the floor.

"I don't know, right now, the only thing I wanna do is not look at your faces." She turned back to the door, leaving the room.

"What are we gonna do now, Audrey?"

"I don't know, Charlie, I don't know."

Joey walked out the room feeling dirty with she just saw. How couldn't she notice what was going on her room? A wave of guilty washed over her, she had been so wrapped up in Pacey lately that she barely paid attention to her friends, and right now she was feeling such a lousy friend. She ran her fingers through her hair. Should she tell Jen? Or let things just happen? Jen had become her best girl friend and she couldn't find an attractive alternative where she could be less hurt about Charlie's behavior. She felt a sudden need to talk to Pacey; she called his cell phone but it was off. She remembered he told her he would be studying at BU's library this afternoon before going to work, so maybe she could just go there and talk to him or just be hold by him in his arms while she made a decision.

She got to the library, her eyes scanning the tables and desks looking for her boyfriend when she saw him laughing with someone. Although there were more people on the table, the only person she could see was the brunette sat beside him, laughing too, her green eyes shining. Joey felt her stomach turning sick when she recognized the girl as Erin.
For a moment she hesitated, but she approached the table, where Pacey continued to talk, his hands complementing his voice, oblivious to her presence, which annoyed her even more. She saw Erin whispering something to him and he turned his head to her direction, looking at her with a grin. He left the table, not noticing how disturbed she looked.

"Hi, Jo, what are you doing here?" He leaned to kiss her, but she turned her face, confusing him.

"What am I doing here? What is she doing here?" Joey pointed to Erin with her eyes.

Pacey breathed heavily, trying to figure out what was going on.

"Jo, Erin studies here at BU, she's in most of my classes, you know that." He tried to reach her but she started walking out of the library and he followed, getting mad at her unjustified behavior. They reached the sidewalk with Joey walking and Pacey following until he made her stop.

"Jo, what's wrong with you?" he asked, holding her arm to make her stop and face him.

"What's wrong with me? First you don't answer your cell phone, second I came here to talk to you just to find you all smitten with your former girlfriend." She burst.

"Smitten? Joey, we were studying in case you haven't noticed I was not alone with her, there were more of my classmates there too. I was at the library, Potter, not at some cheap hotel for goodness' sake. Stop over-reacting."

"I'm over-reacting? No, Pacey, what I see is my boyfriend not telling me he would be studying all afternoon with his ex-girlfriend."

"And because she's my ex-girlfriend I can't be friends with her? Just because you're jealous? I never asked you to stop being friends with Dawson." He was really mad at her now.

"I should have waited for this. I was wondering how long you'd wait to throw Dawson's name in this." She retorted, her voice filled with sarcasm.

"Joey, I'm not throwing Dawson's name in this, I'm just saying you have no reason to be jealous, and I thought it would be pretty much clear by now. But you're acting completely and utterly irrationally."

"Great, now besides of over reacting, I'm irrational."

"Jo, go home, take a deep breath and think about what you're saying…You're sounding like I cheated on you or lied to you."

"No, Pacey Witter is the perfect boyfriend, he never lies."

"Yes, Joey, lying is not my specialty. It's yours." He replied sadly.

The tone on his voice made her stop. What was she doing? She touched his face lightly; regret taking her features mixed with angry about what he said.

"Pace…"

He cupped her face with both hands, looking into her eyes.

"Jo, we're both too nervous now. Go home; calm down and we talk later, ok? Just be sure of one thing: I love you and I would never, ever cheat on you. Don't forget that." He left her, not looking back, leaving Joey wondering about what she had just done.
Pacey went back to the library, his heart heavy. Something else than seeing Erin studying with him was bothering Joey, he could sense it. All his friends were silent when he sat at the table, wondering what had happened. He grabbed his books, murmuring some lame excuse and left but Erin followed him.

"Pacey, wait." She called him, as he left the building with large steps. He stopped in his tracks, turning around to face her.

"What, Erin?" he asked imaptienly.

"What happened with your girlfriend? She showed up and you weren't the same after."

"She got jealous because you were here too." He explained, not so sure of where came this sudden interest on Joey, but got surprised when Erin started to laugh, making him stare at her quizzically.

"You didn't tell her, did you?" She asked, smiling.

"And should I? You may be my ex- girlfriend, but you are my friend and I don't see a reason for her…"

"To freak out?" She interrupted him. "PJ, she was jealous even when I was your girlfriend."

"But still is not a reason…"

"Pacey, I'm a woman, believe me, I know I'd be jealous if I walked in my boyfriend happily talking to his ex."

"You women were made to drive us men crazy." He sighed.

"Don't tell me you're considering turn gay…" Erin teased, making them both laugh. "If you wanna talk, you know you can come to me, but first, please tell that girlfriend of yours first, cause I don't wanna wake up with a screw driver stuck in my brain."

"She's not that violent. You would get just some bruises." He winked. "After all this heartfelt conversation, I'm sorry, but I really need to go to work and face Ms. Potter's wrath."

"You wanna a ride?"

"Nope, I really don't wanna more trouble that I'm already in, according to you."

"Ok, bye Pacey." Erin left, but turned around to yell at him. "We'll be throwing a party next Friday at my dorm in honor of the last finals, come and bring her, maybe we can even become friends."

"Bye, Erin. I'll think about it. Anyway, hire one or two bodyguards for you, just in case we show up." he joked, heading to his car.

Joey walked back to her dorm, her own harsh words lingering on her mind. Why did she overreact like that? She was pissed off with Audrey and Charlie, not with Pacey. Sure, finding him studying with Erin wasn't one of the most pleasant views, but there was no valid reason to freak out like that. She wandered through the streets, dreading the moment she'd have to face Pacey, she never felt so ashamed about her previous actions. She decided to call in sick for work; she couldn't face him, not now. Memories from all their past fights played over and over in her head while she walked.

"I'm sad because we haven't talked for three weeks and your first words are about Dawson, as per usual."

"The decision of being together or not being together has always been yours."

"I'm doing us a favor. Taking both of us home."

"Who ya kidding, Jo? Come on. You got off that boat long before the two of us did."

"What is that suppose to mean?"

"You're a smart girl, Jo. You can figure it out"

"When will you see it, Joey? Dawson manipulates you whenever it pleases him and you don't do a thing about it."

"When this conversation starts to get emotionally complex, you bail."

" Jo, you don't have to do it by yourself. That's why I'm here. I want to be able to help you. I just can't help you if you won't tell me the truth."

"Okay, fine, fine, fine, look. Okay, I'll tell you what. Do you want to know what I'm scared of? Cause I'm not scared of whether or not we sleep together. If and when we do decide to do that, it will be right. What I am scared of is that little piece of your heart that will always belong to Dawson Leery. I'm scared of that piece of your heart that always envisioned your first time being with him. I'm scared of that part of you that doesn't want it to be me. That's what I'm scared of."

"If that's how you feel… If that's how you feel then… then why did you stay? Why stick around for 9 months if that's what you believe, Pacey?"

"I'm just a glutton for punishment I guess."

"Let me ask you one question, Jo. What would you say to him? You know, if he were here right now and he asked you, what would you tell him?"

"I would have to tell him the truth."

"You know, Jo, for the first time in my life, I can't be accused as the one who screwed up everything...you did it. The perfect Miss Josephine Lillian Potter screwed up this relationship in every and each possible way..."

"Explain what? I'm not that stupid as you think I am...You treat me like I'm some sort of mental retarded, but I'm much better than this."

"Stop these monosyllabically grunts. You know what I mean…you never really believed in us, in our relationship…day after day, you were waiting that I would realize the big mistake I had done and would go back to Dawson…"

"And that's exactly what you did…"

She had been so selfish and stupid, she was never worried about Pacey, all that mattered was herself. She and her stupid fears. Who needed Dawson if she alone could screw up everything? How long would take till Pacey realize what a lame girlfriend she was? She had to make things right somehow and for good. She went back to her dorm, decision taking all her features.

Audrey paced around the room, waiting for Joey to come back. She didn't know what to say, she wanted to ask Joey to give them some time to figure out things before telling Jen. Charlie had left her alone to face Joey, the coward. She heard the doorknob moving, a tired Joey walking in, ignoring her.

"Joey, I have to talk to you."

"Audrey, it's not me you have to talk" Joey replied tiredly.

"Joey, are you telling Jen?" She asked, her voice a little bit shaken.

"Audrey, Jen is one of my best friends; she was there for me every step of the way through one of the most difficult moments in my life, so, forgive me if my loyalty stays with her."

"You are telling her."

"I will, cause she doesn't deserve to be deceived like that, by both of you. But I'm not doing it tonight, so if you or Charlie want to make this right, you have till tomorrow. And now, if you excuse me, I have something to do." Joey said coldly, ignoring the plead in Audrey's eyes, sitting on her desk, writing with no stop.

Next night, Pacey got back home late, everybody seemed to be sleeping at home. He was really worried about Joey, he hadn't seen her or talked to her since the library incident. What was going on with her? Her cell phone seemed dead, all the times he called, he reached only voice mail. He felt something more was wrong, and it wasn't about that stupid fight. The last time she behaved like that was the week before prom…no it couldn't be…they had been careful, she couldn't be pregnant again. A shiver came through his spine as he remembered their shower escapades. He groaned, ok, they hadn't been that careful, but that wasn't a reason for closing him off. He considered even going to her dorm, but when he called, Audrey said she wasn't home. Where could Joey be? He turned his bedroom's light on just to find a sound sleep Joey on his bed. He smiled, although he was a bit mad at her, that was a sight he wanted to see every night when he got home. Her hair was spread over the pillow, a smile dancing on her lips as if her dreams were pleasant and he wondered if he was on them. He changed to his PJs, silent debating with himself if he should or not wake her when he noticed something clutched in her hands. He carefully took it, realizing that was her diary. Pacey felt like a 15 year old, trying to sneak a peek on his girlfriend's diary, but he saw his name written on the last entry and got curious. What was Joey hiding?