The 2nd part in this chapter (after lyric goes: "your presence still lingers here, and it won't leave me alone" was beta by Kyokutou. Thanx a lot!

Chapter 2 Those Who Was Left Behind

It was one particular day in JuOhCho. A day in which the routine for each person was standadized. With a serious complained on a budget deficiencies---a sound of loud explosion from the laboratory---a cheerful curly-haired girl throwing people a bright smiles despite her fiercesome looking partner---and the twin librarian setting time aside from work to visit their Kachou who sipped his tea in his spot as he watched his co-workers on their duty---or the two blonde girls who came from Hokkaido, mainly to get a 16 years old boy to wear pink house clothes.

Nothing would ever be the same again from this day onwards and forever.

There would no longer be a person for Tatsumi and Kachou to scold at, or someone who would laugh happily at being allowed to have Wakaba's home made sweets. Terazuma no longer had a rival to compete with in a dead match. And the twin little gods need not kicked anyone out of the library because the library destroyer was no longer around. A day the Hokkaido girls sqealing over a poor boy might as well no longer be.

Yet in spite of that, everything for everyone must continue as per normal.

They had wept for him, knowing they couldn't change a thing. Their own lives still have to move on while they shelved their sorrow. All they fear for now was only the youngest shinigami who laid unconcious in the infirmary.

"How should we tell him?"

"We don't have to. He saw everthing, knows everything. And I'm sure he remembers everything. It's only a matter of time before he deals with it."

Their voices were barely audible but Hisoka could almost hear them perfectly, although he wasn't fully concious yet, he was an empath after all. Screwing his eyes shut more tightly, he tried to shut off his mind from what he had heard.

'No…I don't know anything. I don't hear anything. This is just a dream, a bad dream. A terrible nightmare of all. If I were to open my eyes, I'll see him just there. I'll see his stupid face looking at me, his naïve violet eyes staring with concern. And I'll hear his annoying voice trying to comfort me, saying everything would be OK'

I'll wake up from this nightmare and might as well finds myself in his arms as I once did.

But Hisoka still dare not open his eyes, he was afraid. Afraid of what lies ahead from now---of his tomorrows without his partner..

Despite the now audible conversation to his ears from the two nearby, Hisoka wouldn't be able to accept it. Not now…not ever.

His eyes opened of their own accord. The first thing that came to view was the white ceiling of the infirmary. Blinking, he then noticed a couple of his co-workers nearby. His partner, however, was nowhere to be found.

"Bon!" Watari had apparently noticed the boy stirring and he shifted closer to the bed with Tatsumi closed behind. "How are you feeling?" It was the same question that he had always been asked whenever he got injured from field work. Somehow, it felt different this time.

Hisoka could sense them wishing he would reamain asleep for just a little longer. This wasn't far from the truth, both his co-workers had hoped they would have more time to think of the right things to say, to at least ease his pain. However, the time to face it had clearly come for Hisoka had begun directing his gaze to the bed beside his own.

Empty.

He closed his eyes and opened it again, hoping at least to see some untidy fold upon the white blanket. Tidy. He shifted slowly but focusing eyes further to the head of the bed, expecting to see a patient's nametag there. None.

Tatsumi and Watari could only watched at the boy's action, certain of what was coming next, not withstanding of what they should say. Then, and only then did he turn his attention back to his co-workers.

"Tsu…zuki?" He questioned, his voice hoarse since it all goes with how he shouted for his partner back then.

Tatsumi swallowed hard, something he hardly do, as did Watari. In fact, Hisoka couldn't recall a single instance where he had seen Tatsumi do. To make things even worse, both looked away. As Hisoka's eyes could focus more clearly, he saw those eyes behind the lenses was swollen from weeping. That could only mean…

"Tsuzuki!" He yelled, leaping up imediately in spite of his wounds, causing pain to shoot through his entire body. He pushed aside the blanket with his bandaged hands. It took both of the older shinigami to push him back into bed, not wanting the boy to hurt himself. Flailing, he grabbed at the closest thing, which turned out to be Watari's labcoat. Yanking on it, he drew the man close. "Watari-san! Where's Tsuzuki?"

"….." Watari amber eyes closed, not daring to look into the boy's eyes.

Seeing the doctor's reluctance, Hisoka released his clothes, reaching out to grab Tatsumi instead. "Tatsumi-san! Tsuzuki! Where is he?" Tatsumi shook his head sadly. That picture, reminded Hisoka of how Tatsumi had did the same expression back then, when the three of them were at the gate after…

"No…" Hisoka felt weakness overtake him, his hands sliding off Tatsumi's brown suit.

Watari's hands trembled, he knew this would come when the boy open his eyes, yet reality bites hard. He felt his eyes burning as he tried to hold back his tears.

"Wa…Watari-san…tell me he's OK, Tsuzuki just went out for something to eat…right?" Green eyes started to water. He wanted an answer, a nod of assurance, Tsuzuki. Anything…but silence.

He knew in his heart more than anyone else, he was closest to the place where things happened to Tsuzuki. Somehow, he deosn't want to accept that he knows it.

As if some sort of little strength returned to him partly, he grabbed Tatsumi's suit once again, shaking intensely and furiously with his head cast downwards before looking up at Tatsumi tearfully.

"Why? Why don't you let me go with him? Why save me…why bother to save me without him?" Small voice cracked and he coughed badly, staining both his shirt and Tatsumi's with faint blood.

Watari hurriedly grabbed some clean cloth and swabbed at his mouth. "Try not to talk, Bon." But Hisoka was beyond caring. He turned his head away persistently.

At this outburst, Tatsumi placed his hands upon the small, shaking shoulder, and turning him around gently. He hold the broken boy who had stopped coughing but continued weeping. "Kurosaki-kun. He wanted you to live." Hisoka raised his tearful eyes uncomprehendingly. "'Save him,' that's what he said to me."

Green eyes widened as he realized what had happened back then. So it was Tatsumi whom Tsuzuki had talked to when he broked his gaze from Hisoka that time. 'To save me?'

'To save me? You idiot Tsuzuki!'

"But I don't want…" He began, unable to finish his words and broke into a sobs, clutching his face. His other hand as well grabbed tensely on the blanket.

Sure he had said that he wanted Tsuzuki to live for him. But that didn't mean that he wanted living. He only wanted to be with Tsuzuki, and that would be his 'living.' If Tsuzuki choose to die, so would he.

'I don't want to be saved, I want to go with him.'

Tatsumi eyed Watari who at some point, the tears would soon falls. Tatsumi closed his blue eyes and felt himself too on the edge of tears.

Hisoka had woke up to the worst nightmare.

"How was he?" Wakaba whispered at the two exited the infirmary and closed the door behind them. They were all outside, waiting. Tatsumi explained it might be better if the others did't go in as of yet.

Wakaba, her face tainted with tears. Terazuma stood closed to her, his usual relentless posture now weakened. The two twin little gods slumped together on the bench. And the two blond haired girls from Hokkaido which stood nearby, their faces displaying same expression as Wakaba's.

Tatsumi hesitated for a moment, and pushed his glasses further up his nose, quickly assessing his collegues. One of the twin gods was holding a small case by his lap, he noted, most probably containing books for Hisoka. The so-called twin girls had a bag with the words 'Pink House' on it, no doubt bearing gifts for their young friend. Needless to say, the overbulging bag that Wakaba carried must have been filled with food for the patient. But this was not the time, and might never again will be one.

"Well?" Wakaba prompted expectantly. It was only then that it came to Tatsumi attention that he had yet to answer her. At that he sighed.

"It's as bad as you can imagine," was all Tatsumi could say.

"He wants to be alone…for a while." Watari said ruefully, understanding Hisoka's needs far better than the rest. Of all people in Shokan Division, Watari was the only one who had known something the others don't, in this case.

Everytime. Everytime both of them got injured from their field work. Tsuzuki would rush an unconscious Hisoka to the infirmary, oblivious to his own wounds as he babbleed incoherently about his injured partner. And Hisoka had done no less.

Despite the fact that Tsuzuki was much larger than him and despite his own wounds, Hisoka too had often stumbled into the infirmary with an unconscious Tsuzuki upon his wounded shoulders. Then, he would wait anxiously while Watari examined his partner. No matter who it was that had staggering to him for help, Watari had always observed the same pattern: all treatment for themselves was to be withheld until their partner had been attended to. Then, and only then, would they submit to Watari's treatment.

It was a similar pattern when they woke. Though Watari's first question to either of them had always been to check on their conditions, the only response he had gotten was a swift glance towards the nearest bed. Whenever they had seen their partners lying on the bed opposite, they would sigh in relief. Tsuzuki would always ask about Hisoka's condition, and Hisoka would inevitably ask of Tsuzuki's whereabouts whenever Tsuzuki was nowhere to be seen although he woudn't and hardly would admit it when Watari teased him. All these Watari had seen, and more.

All in all, whenever one of them would leave the infirmary for their own business. For Tsuzuki, it would be something to eat. For Hisoka,something to read. Watari should always be ready for an immediate answer.

He remembered sometime he would trick them, having no other thing to do than to mess with them. Although he couldn't hold back his laughter that long, getting to see a disbelieving blank stare from the boy or a look of utter shock from the naïve man. With that, Watari would either get a death glare from infuriated Hisoka, or a death grabbed on the collar of his labcoat with maniacal Tsuzuki who would bare his teeth at the mischief-maker.

Watari wouldn't have a chance to do that again.

Your presence still lingers here,

And it won't leave me alone.

'He protected me, he always did. And that angered me. He sure knows how to keep me from physical harm.'

Hisoka thought of the time Tsuzuki took Muraki's blow for him after they'd first met. He even had time to worry about Hisoka's empathy while he himself was coughing up blood. Or the time Tsuzuki took an arrow for him when they were hired to look for the queen of snow. And all of the many other times Tsuzuki had injured himself trying to guard Hisoka from getting hurt.

'What about me…what about my pain? This time you have left me with a good wound…Tsuzuki…you really have.'

He curled himself under the white blanket. His tears had stopped though his heart kept on bleeding. His vision blurred, his throat burned and it hurts. He shut his eyes as he buried his face in the soaked pillow.

"What are you thinking Tatsumi?" Tatsumi was startled at the question from Watari. Everyone has already gone home since it was already late. But the two shinigami stayed for the boy. "You're quiet, what's on your mind?" The scientist asked again. Tatsumi reamained silent. "Is it about what Bon said earlier?"

For a few moments he stood still, then Tatsumi nodded, his eyes settling on his hands. "I was just thinking. Did I do the right thing? Saving only Kurosaki-kun now that he doesn't want anything but to be with…Tsuzuki-san."

Watari let out a long sigh. He stood up and walked toward the window, staring out at the night sky. "It's complicated. Tsuzuki wants the boy to live and Bon wants to die with Tsuzuki." Watari watched the cherry blossom in Meifu, ever-blooming. "You've done what Tsuzuki wants, that's all I know for a fact." He paused for a while before setting up a question. "Do you think Bon's gonna make it…through this?"

Tatsumi gave him a questioning glance.

"We're all dead. Aren't we? We all faced the worst and lost the day we died. Even when we were alive, we had the worst to face. This is just another time, do you think he can make it?" Watari spoke in an unsured tone.

"I'm afraid that's not likely possible. You see, his death doesn't mean much, maybe doesn't mean anything to him, I think . He hasn't cried over his own death since he came to Meifu, didn't even care about it. His life was a nightmare, especially in the last 3 years. We know little about his past. But as long as we know it, you and I know that…Tsuzuki…" Tatsumi closed his eyes and took a deep breath. "Tsuzuki was the first thing in his life…after life that he valued."

Watari understood what he was saying. "Come to think of it. He rejected reality at first. Seemed that he just wanted to know nothing of Tsuzuki's departure. So unlike Bon, when the first time we met him he was so eager to find out the truth, though he knew it wouldn't be a nice thing to know."

"I can't let Kurosaki-kun die. Because that would make Tsuzuki-san suffer much more than he already had. But then…Kurosaki-kun's life without Tsuzuki will hurt him more than anything." Tatsumi now brought his hands over his face as if to hide his face, but Watari could see the miserable emotion. "I should…I should just let them go…together. But…"

The scientist walked over to Tatsumi and placed his hand on Tatsumi's shoulder. He opened his mouth to say something but closed it, knowing soothing words would not do much.

They cast a glance one last time at the sleeping boy, not knowing what to do from from now on until forever ended. They were lost.

If we still rememeber him he will always exist in us. That means it hasn't been zero.

Tatsumi recalled what he had told Hisoka back then and knew it was all in vain now.

How was it? Tell me what you think. It's kinda going slow. But i'll make sure i'll make it till the end.