Chapter 9

The day of the concert came. I'd asked Nikki out and planned to tell her about my relationship with Hiro after the concert. She was very excited when I asked to come with me, but underneath her excitement, there was something wrong with her. She wasn't as outrages or pushy that night. It almost seemed like she was hiding something.

We attended the concert and I would say that the whole time, I was deaf. I didn't the loud music playing or the cheering crowd. Everything faded away into the background. All I was able to see was Hiro standing on stage playing his guitar, bending his knees slightly, and rocking his ass. Under that spot light, he shined. I must have been licking my own lips as I stood there admiring him.

"Tatsu?"

That ass up there was all mine.

"Tatsu!"

Nikki managed to get in my vision. "Oh, I'm sorry. The music is too loud." I lied.

"I need to talk to you."

"Could we wait after the concert? It's almost done."

"No, now."

I drew in a breath, "Okay." I might as well take this chance to tell her.

We found the front lobby outside the concert room. The lobby had some vending machines, which had coffee, tea and some other variety drinks.

"Nikki, would you like something to drink?" I asked her.

"A hot cappuccino." She replied and took a seat in the lobby.

I got her the hot drink and took a seat beside her. "What's wrong? Are you alright?"

"I'm fine." She took the drink, "Thank you."

I sat there with her for a few minutes, sipping my own can of coffee. I could sense that she needed to address me with something important, but was hesitating for some reason. This was definitely not the Nikki that I knew. This could only mean that whatever she had to say must be significant. This reminded me that I also had something important to tell her. I was so wrapped up and mesmerized by how beautiful Hiro looked on stage that I'd almost forgot.

I finished my coffee and was about to take this moment to talk to her about Hiro, but she also decided to talk at the same moment and had the lead. "Tatsu, what do you think about having a family?"

What kind of a question was that? Oh no, don't tell me that she was serious about me all these time? No, this was not good. I had to come up with something. "What are you talking about? A family? I'm not…"

"If I say that I want to live with you as your wife. What do you think about that?"

"Nikki, I…" She covered my lips before I could refuse her.

"And if I say that I'm pregnant with your child. Would you consider marrying me?"

NO! This could not be happening! "I… I…" A moment of silence took place as I built up my courage to ask her. "Are you?" I felt as if all my strenght had drained away and I couldn't even ask her the complete question about her being pregnant with my child.

"Tatsuha, you're so fun to tease!" She laughed.

I caught a breath, "What do you mean by that?"

"I was just kidding. I wanted to find out what kind of reaction you would have if I told you that I'm having your child."

"It's not funny. I mean if you were, then I… then I should…"

"No, you shouldn't do anything. It was fun being with you, but I knew that there wasn't anything special between us. It was just fun. I needed someone at the time and you just happened to show up at the right moment." She smiled. "I'm leaving tonight. I'm going back to America."

"I thought that you came back to stay."

"Originally, I did plan to stay, but that's impossible now."

"Why?"

"The one thing that I came back for is not there anymore. I couldn't find it. I've lost it." She smiled again, but this time it was hardly noticeable, "So, there is no reason for me to stay."

I knew that she was talking about Hiro, but I pretended that I didn't. "Couldn't you stay a little longer? What about Hiro? Have you told him about this yet?"

"I slipped a letter underneath his dressing room's door. He'll know when he reads it."

"Why won't you talk to him?"

"I can't. I had burdened him enough pain. When we were together, I broke up with him without saying goodbye. I even killed his baby in my womb. Yet, he never gave me any grief about it. Living in America, there was never a day that I didn't think about him. What was he doing? What kind of man has become? Has he found himself another love? I couldn't help myself, but felt depress and then I started to flirt with every men in sight hoping that it would fill the emptiness inside of me."

"I didn't know that you felt so deeply for him. I mean because of the way you head on with me; I thought you were over him."

"I'm sorry, Tatsu. I was just trying to get go of him for his sake. You see, when I got back I was hoping that he would welcome me with open arms, but I guess it was too much to ask of him. It has been over four years after all. Thing changed. People changed. Feeling changed. I suspected as much, he changed. When he told me that he could no longer see me as his girlfriend, I knew that he must has someone else." She paused and took my hands while looking at me in the eyes.

What should I say to her now? I felt so disgusted of myself.

"Tatsuha, can you do me a favor?"

"Yes, anything for you."

"Take care of Hiro for me."

My eyes stared at her in total shock. Did she know?

"He loves you."

"You mean… you know?"

"That night after my race, I took Shuichi home and he was saying that you and Hiro were acting weird. I had my suspicion, but Hiro was never into guys before so I didn't give it much thought. I was hovering you while Hiro had to see it. I was trying to let him go, but instead I gave him more trouble by being with you. After I took Shuichi home, I had an urge to go to Hiro's place to talk to him, but when I came I found your bike parking in front of his apartment. I didn't have the nerve to come in, to confirm my doubt, but through the windows of his apartment I could see two shadows reflecting from his living room. That was when I knew that you two were involved."

"I'm sorry Nikki. I very sorry about how this all turned out. I mean, if I weren't so obsessed with Hiro, then I could have fallen for you, then I could have help you forget about him."

"It's nobody fault. I'm just happy that you found Hiro and he found someone to love."

I stood there, didn't know what else to say to her.

"I have to go now. Can you do me another favor?"

"What is it?"

"Can you take me to the airport?"

"I would love to, but I have one question, which I would appreciate very much that you could clarify it for me." I figured that if I didn't take my chance and ask her about the race four years ago, then there might never be another chance for me to ask her about it. That night when I followed Hiro home, for some odd reason I felt that it was he whom I raced in Kyoto, but every time I came close to him, the man drove me into another direction and I never had a chance to ask him about it.

"Of course, if I can. What is it?"

"Four years ago, I had an opportunity to race against a rider from Tokyo, whom was riding your green Kawasaki's bike. I could never mistake it for any other per the unique signature on your bike."

"During high school I've had many races, but I don't remember racing you though. I would remember your pretty face if I did."

"Could it be someone else that was racing with your bike?"

"No, no one…" A silence found her as she thought, "Unless, you're talking about the race in Kyoto."

"Yeah, it was in Kyoto."

"I see. That person wasn't me then. That night was the same night that I had to leave for America. And that same night I asked a person very dear to me to take my place."

"Do you mean…?"

"Yes, it was him." She replied quickly.

"I see." I sent her a warm smile. "Thanks."

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We left the concert.

Nikki didn't have much baggage. She said that she didn't want to bring back any more memories of Hiro or Japan; it was too painful to hold onto things that would only cause her more heartache. I drove her to the airport with the little belonging she had.

"Good bye." She said and waved back as she entered the terminal.

I waved back and from a distance, I swore that she was crying. As I watched until she disappeared I turned around and headed back. There I saw Hiro running, his red hairs moving along beautifully with his slender body. When he reached me, instead of a kiss or at least a hug or a greeting; he punched me in the face.

"How could you let her go?" He shouted in my face.

"What should I do? Ask her to stay when it's obvious that staying will hurt her?"

"At least, let me say goodbye to her. I mean, this is the second time that she did this to me. The same way that she left me the last time, leaving me a letter of apology and… vanished."

"You need to understand how she's feeling right now. She still loves you and if she were to see you again then she will not have the courage to leave. She's willing to forget and give up on you on her own, can you just appreciated that?"

"I…" He sighed.

I took him into my arms. "Hiro, I think that this is best… for all of us."

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End of Chapter:

Smile: Final chapter next.