AN: Thank you - THANK YOU – so very much for the response to the last chapter. I was SO pleased to hear from so many of you about how the chapter affected you emotionally. I've had that breakthrough in my head for a good long time now. I'm so glad that so many of you can identify with Jason's frustration and feel that his argument is very believable. That's what I've intended from the start even though I do feel such a situation won't happen in reality.

I've had a few questions about Kate and Jason that I'd like to clear up. First of all, Kat's anger towards Superman will be better explained in this chapter. If you've been wondering about that, then your answer is just below. The other questions center on what Jason can and can't do – specifically in regards to why he can't fly. For me, personally, the flying would be the best part of being Superman, so as the author, I decided to take away the one thing that would be the most cool to be able to do. I justify it because the gravity on Krypton was so much stronger, and that is why Superman can defy Earth's gravity. Jason, having a more human molecular structure, would respond differently to our gravity and, in my opinion, wouldn't be able to fly. I also feel that the flying has nothing to do with the power of the sun. No amount of sunlight could change the way gravity works on the body, right? So even if he baked all day in the brightest sun, Jason still wouldn't be able to fly. I hope this chapter clears up what else he can and can't do. I had fun when I first determined just how much he was able to do and where he had difficulties. And before anyone asks, yes I am a Smallville fan and yes, I got a lot of my inspiration for Jason in this chapter from the way Clark reacts when a new power develops.

I hope you all enjoy this chapter, even though it isn't as full of angst as the last few. And I PROMISE – Superman will be making an appearance in the next chapter. So please come back for more!

Thanks to the betas yet again for all their wonderful comments. Htbthomas and Hellish Red Devil totally ROX!

Chapter Seven

My mind became aware that I was lying down on a bed before my body did. It was dark – night – for I couldn't feel the heat of the sun. The last thing I remembered was clinging to Kate and crying like a baby into her shoulder. What happened after that, I had no idea. My eyelids felt heavy from the tears, and I fought to keep them open and look at my surroundings, not quite believing what I was seeing. I was still in Kate's apartment…in her bedroom…on her bed. Had I fallen asleep? And she let me stay? She was so angry at me. Why did she let me stay?

I shifted slightly, looking to my left, unexpectedly meeting her eyes. She was lying next to me on her side, not touching me the way she normally does when we slept together, but her face had a small smile on it. I didn't sense any anger or hostility coming from her, which really made me wonder what had happened.

"Hi," she said softly.

"Hi," I said, yawning and stretching, working out the kinks in my body. "What happened?"

"You fell asleep."

"Sorry," I said, closing my eyes again.

"Don't be. After the day you had yesterday, I think you earned it."

"I wasn't the one who broke my foot."

"And I wasn't the one who had an emotional breakthrough."

"You mean breakdown." I opened my eyes and looked over at her. "Thanks."

She smiled more fully. "No thanks necessary. That's what I'm here for."

"I didn't mean to dump all of that on you."

Her shoulders shrugged slightly. "I always knew there was something bothering you under the surface, but I couldn't figure it out. Now that I know, it will make living with you that much easier."

Had I just heard her correctly? "Living with me?"

Her brows shot up. "You did ask me to marry you yesterday. Or did you forget?"

"No, I remember, but…Kate…you don't have to…" My voice dropped to a nearly inaudible volume. "I'm not going to hold you to anything."

She scowled. "Are you taking back the proposal?"

My brain wasn't fully awake to process what she was saying. I had to make sure I understood what she was saying. "You still…want to marry me?"

Her scowl softened into half a smile. "Yes. You sound surprised."

"That's because I am. I mean…I lied to you."

She nodded and rolled over onto her stomach, propping herself up on her elbows to look down at me. "Yes, you did, and it hurts me to think that you didn't trust me enough to tell me the truth before, but I've had a good long time to think about it. I've actually been awake most of the night thinking about it, and I have to admit that were I in your position, I don't think I would have told anyone who I was, either."

I kept my eyes focused solely on her face for any sign that this was a joke. "You wouldn't have even told…the person…you loved?"

She sighed, "I think I would have at least considered telling the person I loved, especially if I wanted to marry that person."

"I did consider it," I admitted. "And in all fairness to him, he told me I should tell you. He warned me that I would be making a huge mistake if I didn't tell you."

Her eyes squinted at me. "So you did tell him about me."

I looked away. "Yes, but…" I wet my lips, my voice dropping low. "I didn't want to tell him about you."

She looked hurt. "Why not?"

"Because…I was afraid he would tell me…I couldn't…"

"Couldn't marry me?"

"Yes."

"Why would he say that?"

I swallowed. Things were about to go from weird to downright bizarre. "Because he wasn't allowed to." Kate didn't say anything. She just looked at me, waiting for the rest of the explanation. "Why do you think he isn't with my mother?"

"Maybe because she's married to someone else?"

"Yeah, but she wasn't when they first met. She wasn't married when I…when they…" I couldn't vocalize it, for some reason. "She didn't marry my dad until I was almost seven years old. I was in the wedding even. I think the reason she waited so long to marry my dad was because she kept waiting for him to come back. He wasn't around for a long time, when I was really small. And when he did come back, he told her that even though he would always love her, he couldn't be with her that way."

"Why not?"

I exhaled slowly. "Because he would be 'interfering with human history.'" My mouth formed the words I had heard so often in my youth. "Although he was raised by humans, he isn't one of…" I faltered. "He isn't human. It's forbidden for him to form any 'significant attachments'. 'To invest time and emotion in one human being at expense of the rest.'" I could remember those words as if I had heard them yesterday. They were engrained in my head. "To…play favorites, for lack of a better term."

"But Jason," she countered, placing an arm over my stomach. "He did interfere. I mean…you're here."

"My point exactly."

"Why would he stay away, then?"

I shrugged. "That's always been my question. And that's why I had to talk to him. I had to make sure that those rules and instructions didn't have anything to do with me. That I wasn't bound to them and could do what I wanted."

"And what did he say?"

"Considering that no one ever thought he would have children, there isn't anything is really go on."

"Why wouldn't he have children?" She thought for a moment. "Oh right, they just expected him to follow instructions blindly. He was told not to make any attachments and they just assumed he would obey."

"Well, that and…"

"And?"

I really didn't like dwelling on this part, but if I was going to tell her everything then I needed to tell her everything. "Theoretically, a human and a Kryptonian can't have a child together." She gaped at me. "At least, that's what Jor-El said."

"Jor-El?"

"His father. My… grandfather."

Her face was scrunched into confusion. "Would you mind telling me how you spoke to your dead, Kryptonian grandfather?"

I sighed. "He was a hologram."

"Oh," she said quickly. "And he said that you…"

"That I was an impossibility," I finished for her.

Several emotions flashed across her face; sadness, anger, disbelief. It was a reminder of everything I had felt when I first heard those words.

"He was wrong," she stated simply.

"Obviously."

"So why should you care about anything he has to say? If he was wrong about this – and this is a pretty big thing to be wrong about – why wouldn't he be wrong about other things, too?"

Why was it that Kate understood this so easily and yet Superman never had been able to? "I have wondered the same thing, Kate."

"Then anything this Jor-El person says can't apply to you."

I shrugged, "Well, he says that those words do apply to me. Even if they didn't expect me to be born, the fact is that I am here, and even though I'd rather not admit it, I am partly Kryptonian. But I can't live my life the way he does. I refuse to separate myself from the people I love the way he has. I can't do what he does physically. I mean, I'll never be Superman. So, why should I be expected to live life the way he does?"

"Are you asking me?" she said, tilting her head to the side. "Do you really want me to try to answer that?"

"I don't think there is a right or a wrong answer. Besides," I looked away from her, "I'm not sure it really matters anymore."

"Meaning…?"

"Kate," I said softly. "I will understand completely if you want to call things off."

She pushed herself up on the bed, twisting around to try to sit up. "Will you please stop saying that? I love you, and just because I got angry at you doesn't mean that I'm going to give up everything we have together."

I sat up to meet her eyes. "But I lied."

"Yes, and you've admitted that was wrong. Just don't do it again."

"Kate," I frowned, "I am related to Superman!"

"I got that," she said flippantly.

"If you marry me, you're going to have to deal with him hanging around for the rest of your life. Now, I know your own history with him. You hate him almost as much as I do."

She gasped at me. "Jason, you don't hate him."

"Don't I?" I challenged.

"Jason." Her tone had dropped in volume and intensity. "You can't hate him."

"Why not? You hate him, too."

She gaped at me. "When did I say that?"

"When you told me about your family and the fire."

She tracked back in her memory. "I never said I hated him, though."

"It's because of him that your mother is dead."

"No," she said calmly. "He didn't start that fire."

"He didn't stop it, either."

"True, but that doesn't make it entirely his fault. I'll grant you that I don't worship him the way the rest of the world does. I don't see him as some all-powerful being that never makes mistakes. He does make mistakes. Everything that I've learned today only proves that fact even more. I think he over steps his boundaries, and I think he's a little more than conceited, but I think that about a few other people, too. He isn't my favorite person, Jason, but I don't hate him."

I groaned, not believing what I was hearing, and flopped back down on the bed.

"In fact, given everything that's happened in the last twenty-four hours, he's actually gone up in my estimation."

I couldn't stand how hypocritical she was starting to sound. "All of a sudden, you're singing a different tune just because he saved your life?"

"No, Jason, because he saved yours."

That caught me by surprise and I raised my head to look at her.

She scooted closer to me and began playing with the buttons on my shirt. "And when you get right down to it, as annoying as I think he is sometimes, if it wasn't for him…then you wouldn't be here."

I closed my eyes and sighed deeply. "I thought I had you on my side."

"I am on your side," she said, lying back down next to me. "I want you to be happy, Jason. This thing with your father, it's eating you up inside."

In spite of everything that had happened, I still didn't like hearing him referred to in that way. And yet, as much as I hated to admit it, she was right. I couldn't admit that right now, though. Not out loud at least. One major breakthrough was enough for a day.

I closed my eyes and focused on her and the way she felt against me. She was hugging me, running her fingers along my chest, kissing my shoulder and neck. I gently traced the curve of her hip with my fingertips before pulling her closer to me. "When I woke up," I said with my lips against her hair, "I was ready for you to kick me out."

"And give up my own personal bed warmer? Never." She kissed me, making me realize once and for all that I wasn't dreaming and that she really did accept me. That she loved me, faults and all.

She pulled away, resting her hands on my stomach and looking down at me with a twinkle in her eyes. "I guess I can stop worrying about the fact that you are always running a temperature."

I smirked at her. "I do always run a temperature."

"You're even warmer today than usual."

"It's the radiation. I haven't been that close to the sun for a long time." It was amazing how easily I could admit something like that to her after all the years of keeping secrets.

"How long has it been?"

"Since I flew with him?" I asked, and received a nod. "About five years."

She kissed the center of my chest and said, "Can I ask you something without you rolling your eyes and making me feel badly for asking it?"

I brushed her hair away from her face to better see her. "Okay," I said hesitantly.

She bit her bottom lip. "How strong are you?"

"Um…well…to be honest, it's been a long time since I've tested myself. I generally use my strength to open pickle jars for my mom or doors that are jammed."

"So, holding up the wall of a cave isn't on your daily to-do list, then?" she teased.

"No, I've never done anything like that before. Well…except…" I wasn't sure if I should tell her or not.

"What? What did you do?" When I didn't say anything, she pressed harder. "Come on. You promised you'd tell me anything I wanted to know."

I sighed. "I threw a piano once."

She blinked. "You threw…a piano?"

"Yup. Gorgeous instrument. Real shame."

"Did you not want to practice or something?"

"No," I chuckled. "It was actually the first thing I ever did – superpower-wise, that is. I was five and this guy was about to hurt my mom. He had hit her already and she was crawling on the floor, trying to get away from him, and…I don't know. I couldn't think of anything to do. I was panicking, having an asthma attack, and I knew that if I didn't do something that this man was going to kill my mother. So…I threw the closest thing I had…which happened to be the piano."

She thought for a moment. "Did you kill him?"

I pursed my lips and answered quietly. "Yes."

I expected her to shy away from me, but she didn't. "And that was the first sign of your powers?"

"Yup. No better way to announce to the world that you're not exactly human than throwing a piano."

She tilted her head, her fingers tracing little circles over my chest. "And you have X-ray vision?"

"Yes," I said, trying to sound as casual as I could about it. "But I don't use it very often. It gives me a headache after too long, not to mention that it's nearly impossible to maneuver anywhere when I use it. I have to be still or I risk running right into someone…or something."

"You mean, you can't see what's right in front of you?"

"Isn't that the point of X-ray vision? I see through things. It's like they disappear. It's really confusing and was a total pain in the ass to learn how to control." She didn't have a response. How could she? She'd never seen through things before. "I don't know which was more annoying, the X-ray vision or the enhanced hearing," I added.

"You mentioned the hearing. Last night."

I nodded and played with a few strands of her long, blonde hair.

"Do you hear as well as he does?"

"No, and thank God for that. He can hear…" I considered how to describe it. "He could be way up above the earth, nearly to the moon, and he wouldn't have any trouble picking out individual voices in the city."

"Really? And you can't do that?"

"Well, I wouldn't be up in outer space. I don't fly, remember?"

She buried her face in my shoulder. "Sorry. I didn't mean…"

"It's okay," I said, stroking her hair. "I can hear a few miles away if I concentrate. Mostly I hear the things going on around me. Things in neighboring houses and stuff like that."

A wicked grin crossed her face. "What are the neighbors doing right now?"

I didn't know whether to laugh or frown at her, but I turned away from her slightly to better focus on the sounds swirling around in the air. A snore…an alarm…a television…and the unmistakable sound of sex. "Above us…she's sleeping. And she snores really loudly. Below us…I don't think they are home. There's an alarm buzzing that needs to be shut off. To the right…they are watching A Nightmare on Elm Street."

"You're kidding?" Kate said.

"One, two, Freddie's coming for you. Three, four, better lock your door," I chanted. "That's definitely A Nightmare on Elm Street."

"Okay," Kate said with an eye roll. "And across the hall?"

I blushed, not really wanting to tell her this one.

"What are they doing?" she prodded with a wicked grin.

"Well…they're…um…" I felt the blush on my face brighten.

"Are they having sex?" she asked incredulously.

I waggled my eyebrows at her, and she burst out in a fit of giggles. "Oh God, Jason, how do you stand it? You can hear all of that? How do you ignore it?"

"I told you it was annoying, but what choice do I have? I can't cut my ears off. Besides, I can hear nice things, too."

"Like what?"

"Like your breathing. And your heartbeat. I try to focus on those things rather than all the other stuff."

Her body relaxed into mine. "You can hear my heart beating?"

"It's one of my favorite sounds."

She sighed. "Do you have any idea how unbelievably romantic that is?"

"Is it?"

She nodded and leaned up a bit to kiss me. I kissed her right back. I wanted her to continue kissing me, but she was still too curious for anything more than a question-and-answer session right now.

"So," she drawled after another proper kiss. "Can you shoot fire from your eyes?"

I wavered. "Yes and no. I've done it, but I don't know how I did it. I know I have to be really angry, and I know what it feels like just before it happens, but I don't know how to make it happen. It's only happened three times, though. The first time I did it, I caused about three thousand dollars worth of damage to the kitchen. The other two times, I felt it coming on and I closed my eyes to stop it."

"Can you be…hurt?" Her hesitancy touched me.

"I can. That's probably the biggest difference between me and him, other than the flying. I can bleed. I've been poked with so many needles that it would have been pretty obvious if my skin were so strong that nothing could penetrate it, right? So, I can be wounded, but it doesn't hurt as much as it does for normal people."

"Then I was right. You are impervious to pain."

"Not entirely. If I cut my hand open with a knife, I would certainly feel it and my brain would register it as painful. But I wouldn't scream and cry. I could tolerate it. I'm guessing that a cut like that would feel like a paper cut does to you. It hurts, but it's manageable."

"Do bullets hurt you, then?"

"I suppose so, but I don't know how badly it would hurt. I've never been shot at, so I don't know." I cocked an eyebrow at her. "Why? Are you thinking of shooting me?"

"No," she said, smacking my shoulder lightly. "I'm just trying to put it all together. What you feel and don't feel." There was a question in her eyes as she stared at me.

"I feel most things the same way you do," I said softly, running my fingertips down her arms and back up her sides. "In fact, my sense of touch is pretty damn good."

She blushed to the tips of her ears. "So…you do feel…that."

I tossed my head back, laughing. "Of course! You think I've been faking?"

"I don't know. This is all new to me. I'm just trying to take it all in," she said in a rush.

"Well, trust me," I said, gazing into her eyes deeply, "I feel every touch."

She rested her head back down on my shoulder. For a moment, I thought that maybe she was done with the quizzing and that I could demonstrate how very much I loved her, but she had one last line of questions for me.

"What about kryptonite?"

"What about it?"

"Can it kill you?"

"No."

"But I thought that exposure to it was fatal."

"For Kryptonians," I explained. "Kryptonite is the one instance where my humanity actually comes in handy."

"Then it won't kill you?"

"No, but it can make me really sick."

There was a sadness in her eyes that touched my heart. "Does that mean you've been exposed to it?"

"Couple of times. Remember that big land mass island thing that Lex Luthor created?" She nodded. "When Superman removed it and sent it into space, pieces of it fell off and went back into the water. Some of those pieces even washed ashore. In fact, Professor Colburn in the science department used to have a big ole chunk of it in his cabinet."

Her eyes went wide in astonishment. "Are you sure?"

"I knew it the moment I walked into his classroom. I went weak in the knees. I couldn't hear or see properly. Only one thing makes me feel that way."

"What did you do?"

"I had to switch classes. I walked around all day after his class feeling sluggish and tired, and as luck would have it, it rained all through that day, so even if I had wanted to use the sunlight to help me out, I couldn't. And that's when I got my idea."

"Your idea?"

The words had come out of my mouth so fast that I hadn't even registered what I had said. It had only been one week of my life, but it was the worst week I'd ever spent and I paid dearly for it. I couldn't believe that I had actually brought it up to her. I'd been speaking so freely tonight, not holding much back with the intention of being as truthful as I could, that my mouth was working faster than my brain. The moment it was out in the open I wish I hadn't said anything. Kate would be livid if I told her what I had done, of that I was sure.

"Just forget it," I tried to brush it off.

"No, no, what idea?"

I pursed my lips, worried what she would think of me. "I don't know if I should tell you."

"Why? Did you do something bad?"

"I didn't think it would be bad. I mean, I thought it could actually help me. In reality though, it ending up being about the stupidest thing I've ever done, and I know that for a fact."

"What did you do?" Her eyes were worried and concerned.

"I…stole it."

"Stole what?"

"The Kryptonite."

Her brows knit together in confusion. "Why?"

"To have it. To…expose myself to it."

This time, her eyes looked angry. "Why?"

"Because it made me feel normal. At least, I thought what I was feeling was normal. I didn't have any of my powers. I couldn't do anything out of the ordinary. I thought if I kept it close by that it would help me be more human – help me blend in more."

"Are you crazy?" she screeched.

"I wanted to be normal, Kate," I said in defense. "I've only ever wanted to be normal."

"And you think feeling weak and tired and sick is normal?"

"I was guessing that if you took away the strength and the enhanced senses, that that's what it felt like to be human. I've never been one hundred percent human, so it wasn't like I had a reference to go by. It was just a guess and a stupid one at that."

"What happened then?"

I huffed. "I damn near lost my scholarship. I was sick, and I mean really sick. I missed classes because my asthma got so bad. I couldn't see right because things looked blurry most of the time. I couldn't do my class work. And when I sat down to try to play the piano, I played like I was in a first grade recital. It was awful. The notes didn't sound right and my fingers wouldn't work the way they should. I even got yelled at by my teacher, who said I wasn't to come back to see him until I got my act together."

"Good for him!" Kate interjected.

"And if that wasn't enough," I continued, "my roommate at the time called my mother. He told her all of my symptoms and she knew right away what was going on. She sent him over to check on me, thinking that there was kryptonite on the campus somewhere and I wasn't aware of it. Like I was walking around not knowing what was going on with me!" I laughed. "So when he got there, he obviously knew I had it in my room. He was livid. I don't think I've ever seen him as angry as he was that day."

"Hang on a sec. Superman came to your dorm room?"

Oops.

"And that didn't seem…odd to anyone?"

Double oops. "Um…well…you know, Kate, he has other clothes. I mean, he doesn't go grocery shopping in tights and a cape."

She stared at me for a moment before pinching the bridge of her nose with her fingers. "Okay, so you've got kryptonite under your bed and Superman is in your dorm room in jeans and a t-shirt?"

"Actually, I keep it in the closet and he usually wears a three-piece business suit."

She looked at me with a sudden intensity. "What do you mean you keep it? You don't still have it, do you?"

BIG, BIG oops.

"Jason White! You had better tell me right now that you don't still do this to yourself!"

"No! Are you kidding? I like my music too much. I can't play worth a damn when I'm exposed to that crap."

"Then why do you have it?"

"Did you think I would put it back? That I would give it to someone once I knew what it was? That stuff is poison, Kate. It can kill him! I may not like him very much, but I don't want him dead. At least, not like that."

"All right, I've heard enough," she scooted up in the bed so that she could sit upright. "I'm not going to sit here and listen to you say things like that."

"I said I didn't want him dead."

"You said you wouldn't want him dead like that, which implies that you do want him dead in some form. Now, I understand that he hurt you and that you are still hurting. I realize that you are confused and that there are deep, emotional issues here that you don't want to work out. But you do have to work them out, Jason. He is your father, regardless of how poor a job he's done. He is your father and you don't want him dead."

I couldn't find any words to argue with her. I could only listen and contemplate all that she was saying. She spoke so honestly that it hurt to hear her calling him my father.

"I love you, Jason," she went on. "I love you enough to not let this go on any longer. I know what it is to harbor resentment for a parent. I know personally how those feelings can do damage to a family. It took me years to work though things with my dad after he remarried. I told you that. It wasn't easy, and things still aren't perfect, but at least we tried. And I'm grateful for it. I love my father, and it breaks my heart to hear you say that you hate yours. You have to work through this. I refuse to just let you continue beating yourself up over something you have no control over, while you ignore the things you do have control over. He's your father, and you can't change that fact. What you can change is the division between you."

"How?" I asked as if I was issuing a challenge.

"By talking to him."

I rolled my eyes.

"He's your father, Jason."

She wasn't helping.

"He's your father. And I know from experience that that gives him the right to a second chance."

The silence that hung in the air then was thick and heavy.

"Talk to him," she repeated. "I can't marry someone with this much anger inside them."

It was then that I realized she was giving me an ultimatum. My choices were to not talk to him and spend my life angry without Kate by my side, or to talk to him, argue and say hurtful things, and keep Kate in my life.

I choose the lesser of the two evils.