In the game of seduction…stop reading

Disclaimer- Sorry I forgot to put this in the last chapter. So this is for that one as well as this one. No the Harry Potter world does not belong to me. I sent a letter to J.K.Rowling asking for it as an early Christmas present, but she has yet to reply……………

A/N OMG! Love you guys (blows millions of kisses) I can't believe I got so many reviews! And one thing that seems to be troubling you are the bold letters (lol) I read it over and a million pardons for that unforgivable mistake. I've tried to restrict myself, hope its fine now. And sorry for any grammatical error.

So this is the first in the 'Plot' series, in the meanwhile keep sending me ideas

Love

Lightening

PrincessofX-tasy- Thanx a lot! I'm glad I'm not just wasting your time!

Tineley- Lol, thanks for trying to be so nice while pointing out my mistake. I've tried to make this chapter better. And I'll surely try out the masquerade ball thing

Kate- Yup, I really care about Hermione's character. And hope there are no issues this time!

Tokyogirl119- Sorry, cut down on it this time! Ho! Moin and Goth! Hermione, I didn't quite get it, but if you tell me, I'll surely fit it in, thanx!

kirara24- Wow! What a great honor, that out of the few hp fics you read one was mine, thanx! I'm glad you liked it!

BeautifulMisconception- Love your name. So do I. Hermione is Hermione, let her be, people! Thanx for the review

Obsessed-with-random-theories- Lol, sorry I'm a Hr/DM and Hr/H shipper myself, but that doesn't mean that HERMIONE wont mind the ships1 I am gonna write a chapter on the ship too!

Names are overrated- Love your name! Hey, you took back your proposal, oh well I'm too young according to the law (lol). To many clichés around, I agree. Thanx for the review!

Heartsyhawk- WOOOOOOOOOOOOOWWW! Long Review (does the Hokie Pokie, er...never said I was sane) I'm glad you liked it and support my views. Lol imagine Hermione coming across a story in which she falls in love with Snape/Dumbledore/Voldemort (lol)

Lily- It seriously annoys me too, and I intend to put in one of the chapters

NalanaSpinderOfSouls-Thank you, glad you liked it!

Aleatha515- Lol, thank you, I'm so glad I succeeded in making me funny and you just showered me with compliments (no wonder my hat doesn't fit me any longer) lol, thanks

Jinxeh-thanks a lot! I know, it's like chocolate eyes, honey hair, cinnamon eyes, cherry lips, GOD! Lol

Woodnymph123- I wasn't really sure abt the summary. But if the story kept your attention, I'm so glad!

FairyKisses- Cute name! Thank you for all the compliments. Really sweet of you!

Time Travelling Echidna- thanks, sorry abt the errors

FreeDaChickens- Yay! Another long review! I'm glad you think Hermione would think that way, nice to get appreciation (oh well) and I've tried cutting down on the bold thing (lol) Mine's one of the best in the category? Aw…. Do I love you or what!

Gabers- Yay! You loved it. Don't worry I intend to write more!

Dearest Fanfiction Writers

Now coming to a most important part of your stories (Drumroll)

--- The Plots.

Well, I don't even know where to begin. If I begin from the beginning then the beginning for me would be the one of the most highly reviewed plots ------

Yes I'm talking about the tried and tested plots (with quite good results i.e. reviews actually, but I digress) of the bets that Malfoy makes to 'seduce' me before A Ball/Valentine's Day/Any Special Occasion or simply to get information about Harry, or break up the 'Golden Trio' (Because of course Lucius Malfoy has no better work than to make his kid break up our gang.)

Do you guys really think that Malfoy would ever have been stupid enough to accept any such bet involving me? And the prize is simply ludicrous- 200 Galleons! 200 Galleons for a guy who has Millions and Trillions of them?

And don't you know that Slytherins and Gryffindor sused to hate/loathe/detest (take your pick) each other and that none of us would have been idiotic enough to take such a risk of being killed by our housemates?

Because believe me, at that time, a Slytherin-Gryffindor relationship was like asking for a death wish.

My character in these stories is also always totally in love with Malfoy, but just not confident enough to tell him.

Now would anyone kindly mind telling me, just exactly, where throughout my years of Hogwarts, did you find a single clue which pointed to the fact that I was in love with my own worst enemy?

Was it the time when I hit him in third year? Or all the times I gave him witty comebacks for his lame comments? Or was it the time I transformed him (with other members of the D.A.) into something closely resembling a slug in fifth year? Or was it…………Okay, you got my point.

Besides, my character in such stories makes me wanna hurl. You've totally made me into this frail, delicate, fragile, etc. etc. AIRHEAD that she can't do anything to stop the growing advances of big- bad- Malfoy.

Albeit gorgeous andstunning, because of the MAKEOVER that my cousin from America apparently gave me. Or worse still Parvati and Lavender!Oh puh-leeez I love myself too much to ever succumb to the 'makeovers' of those two. What do you take me for anyway?

And after these supposed 'makeovers' I come looking like something out of Playboy, and the guys start noticing me and giving me unwanted attentions, which makes Malfoy threaten them, that if they lay so much as a finger on 'his girl' he's gonna have something to say about that. While I stand in the background simpering something which sounds suspiciously like 'Ooooh, My Hero!'

Yes it made me gag too, the first time I read it.

I don't know why, but you conveniently always gloss over the fact that I was, (ahem ahem excuse me for being so immodest) the cleverest witch in my year and really could turn him into a ferret (haha….he really never quite got over that!) or hex him into oblivion at any moment I wanted.

In fact in these stories, I'm NOT the cleverest in my year! My makeover seems to have affected my brain, because I start (heaven forbid) being rude to teachers, cutting-off classes, and just want to par-tay all the time, or make out in the closet with completely unheard of people.

And as for those other guys who were trying to get thick with me, W-e-l-l in two seconds I could have had them ruing the day they crossed swords with the invincible Hermione. But noooo, I have to stand in the shadows, while my ENEMY fights MY fights!

Besides I'm never so alone (hello, where do Harry and Ron vanish in such stories?) that Malfoy could find those millions of opportunities of suitably cornering me in deserted classes and corridors and carrying on his satanic plans.

And in these stories even if I try to resist (at the beginning), the charms of the 'drop-dead-gorgeous' Malfoy soon begin their work. (Yeah! A guy who tried to kill me everyday for 7 years, can anyone get more charming?) I soon begin wondering about the fact that how could the great Malfoy like a lowly creature like me (!)

Ever heard of self-confidence? It's filled to the brim in me. I never (actually almost never, but whatever) doubt my capabilities.

Just as a reminder. There are two contrasting characters in these stories- the airhead and the girl who is completely unnoticed by the guys. No story (that I've read) has ever deviated from this kind of stereotype. Either the girl (that is me) is super 'sexay' or she's plain ugly. Now do you blame me for resenting this?

Besides at that time I hated Malfoy. He was the bane of my life. Nobody (except perhaps Snape and Voldemort It's been 8 years since he died and thank heaven ...and Harry for that) have ever really taken that position.

He might have been good-looking (yes I know that's an understatement) for you, but you forget that we were sworn enemies and that no matter how good he looked, it was in my capabilities to still taunt him with every ounce of courage I had.

While adding all the thesaurus words for 'handsome' and 'suave', you conveniently overlooked the mean, despicable, evil, callous, malicious, and all the other words that come to my mind while thinking of him at Hogwarts.

And to add further insult to my injuries, even if Harry and Ron are there, one of them falls in love with me, and has to just stand and stare, all angst-ridden, while I ride off into the sunset (like an obedient house-elf, grrr) with their arch-nemesis.

Honestly, they might not have been the brightest crayons in the box (to me they were, but I'm trying to look at it from your angle) but they certainly weren't the half-witted baboons that you guys make them out to be.

Their reactions to my revelation of being in love with Malfoy are picturesque……not. They blow their gaskets and stop talking to me, which is amazing since all the years at Hogwarts, I was the one patching them up, and even when Ron behaved like a total moron, he at least came back to his senses.

And one thing that makes me sad here is that Harry and Ron only start liking me (as a girl) after my makeover. I think it's very cruel of you to suggest that our friendship was only skin deep and just depended on our appearances. No dear writers, it was much deeper than that. It was a friendship of a lifetime………………………

And the endings…………………well they just make me wonder whether one person has written all these stories. It's always the same-----

1) I find out about the bet, (but not before Malfoy has already 'seduced' me) from Blaise or Pansy (for some reason it's only these two who put this bet before Malfoy.)

2) I raise Cain. That is, I go screaming to him and throw back (dead center) everything that he's given me. And then sit in my room crying the whole day.

3) He gets all angst-y. He sits and contemplates and thanks God (or Voldemort) that The mudblood left him without a fuss.

4) He realizes that he did not in fact want 'The Mudblood' to leave.

5) He realizes that his whole life is wrong, he's wrong, everything is wrong, only 'HIS Hermione' is right. And he'll get her, even if his father cuts him from his will for it. (Which is pretty funny cuz whenever I think about Malfoy, at Hogwarts, the first words that come to my mind are "My father bought me 'insert an expensive, totally ridiculous object in the space provided '-----------------------------------------)

6) He shouts from the rooftops that he loves me.

7) Everyone seeing this sighs dreamily and ask me to accept him, because I'd never get an "Honest" lover like him again.

8) After a few days I realize that my life is meaningless without Malfoy in it. So I go back running and he accepts me with open arms

9) You can guess what happens next.

Where is the originality, guys? Where is the spirit of the 'Hardcore Feminist' that is the making of me?

I hope, I really haven't discouraged you from writing these stories because I er…… looks around furtively actually um…… (I'm gonna kill myself for this later) but…I actually quite like them blushes furiously. They give me quite a thrill (like watching a chick-flick with Ginny, who's got a humongous collection of them. Or reading a Sophie Kinsella novel, not that I do it too often...er...)

But one request please… please…please make me less of a bimbo and more of the witty know-it-all that I am. For after all I am what I am!

Signing off

LOVE

Hermione

A/N So what do think of this. I really don't wanna offend anyone cuz some of these stories are really good. But well………………review

P.S. If you wanna, check out my other story "When Draco Met Hermione", It contains a sharp-witted and smart Hermione (I hope, lol)

And Please, please suggest me someGOOD D/Hr or H/Hr stories. Something that is not cliched and actually enjoyable! And of course, keep the cliched plots coming!

Till then

Love

Lightening