'Thank you BB Irving and Vetygas Rath for reviewing. You've encouraged me to continue with the story. So far, this story will probably be a shorter one, so any comments or ideas would be really helpful for any other chapters. I'm open to any suggestions. Well, this chapter will be on the humorous side and it will contain some very naughty language and adult humor, so younger audiences BEWARE! Everyone else, get ready to laugh.'
This chapter takes place during the three years before the androids show up and the main characters are….Goku and Vegeta! So please enjoy and let me know what you think.
Chapter 3
Vegeta let out a frustrated yell as he was thrown into yet another canyon side. His body was exhausted and sweat poured down his face. Blinking into the bright, burning sun, he raised his head and glared at the grinning younger saiyajin floating in the air above him.
The two warriors had decided to spar with each other. Goku usually spent his time training with his son Gohan and friend Piccolo, but his wife insisted, or more so demanded, that his young son stay home and study for school. Piccolo was spending the day meditating as he often did. So who else would the playful, powerful Goku want to spar with, but Vegeta of course?
The arrogant saiyajin prince was actually a bit apprehensive about sparring with the dumbass considering that he himself had not managed becoming super saiyajin. The last thing he wanted to see was his archrival transcend into the legendary and take him down. But Vegeta accepted so as to not look cowardly. During the spar, he became even more infuriated with Goku as the goofy saiyajin never transformed into a super saiyajin and yet he still easily took down the prince.
Goku looked down at Vegeta, as he lay embedded in the rocks on the side of the canyon he had accidentally thrown him too hard into. Grinning sheepishly, he placed one large behind his head and chuckled lightly.
"Sorry, 'Geta. I thought you could take a hit like that."
In a flash the fuming saiyajin prince was firing back out of the rocks. So surprised by the sudden energy Goku found himself plummeting to the earth as a small, gloved fist collided with his head.
Goku was able to regain his balance as he hit the ground and didn't even hesitate as he felt Vegeta's ki appear behind him. He spun and sent a quick kamehameha into the small prince's stomach. Vegeta was once again thrown far from the more powerful fighter. Goku cringed as he saw a few trees in the far distance slowly fall over. Again, he used too much power on the arrogant saiyajin. Goku didn't know that Vegeta was so much weaker, but then he remembered what Bulma had told him before they left to spar.
"Just don't be too rough, ok, Goku," the blue-haired scientist had said.
Goku hid a small smile. He knew that the two feisty people were to fall in love in the future. Who knows, maybe they were together at that moment. Earlier in that conversation Bulma told him, somewhat huffily, that she and Yamcha were over, done, no more. Anyway, Goku nodded as Bulma told him to not be too tough on the prince.
"He's been doing nothing but training non-stop morning to night everyday. I'm sorta worried, you know. Lately he's seemed really distraught and tired. I think that he's reached a point where his body just isn't going to let him get powerful because he needs rest. Of course he won't rest, though." Bulma shook her head, causing her once permed hair to dangle at her shoulders. She looked truly worried for the arrogant saiyajin. "If he doesn't succeed in becoming a super saiyajin...I have no idea what he'll do."
The tall, kindhearted warrior stood at the clearing of the woods and waited for the enraged prince to return from the attack. What Bulma said seemed true though. Vegeta's power had risen a lot since he last saw him, but he was nowhere near as powerful as he should have been with all that training. He was trying too hard. Goku felt a sense of worry and pity for Vegeta. He was training too hard and not getting any rest. Every warrior knew that that was not a good idea.
His thoughts were interrupted as a blur of blue shot at him. In a flash both saiyajins were in the air throwing kicks and punches at each other. Goku could see a dark hatred in Vegeta's black eyes as the wild prince threw his energy into each attack. Goku was shocked at the sudden energy his rival could bring forth when he was pissed. Several times Vegeta was able to get some powerful hits on the younger saiyajin.
Goku could feel himself losing momentum and stamina as a frenzy of crazed assaults landed on his body. He needed to do something fast before the enraged prince took him down. At the moment both fighters were close in energy levels. Goku shot back from Vegeta and raised his power greatly. Vegeta shielded his eyes as blinding gold light lit up the sky.
Goku's normally black hair swept up into a flame of gold and his dark eyes became a shimmering teal. He saw the prince shielding his eyes from his yellow energy and took his opportunity. Goku sped forward and slammed one well-aimed fist into Vegeta's stomach. The blue clad saiyain bent forward, his mouth open, making no sound as the enormously painful punch connected with his gut.
The golden saiyajin then spun and landed a kick to the middle of Vegeta's back. Goku winced as he remembered that Vegeta usually wore armor and was used to the shield of his saiyajin protection. At the moment, Vegeta was dressed in only blue training clothes, excluding the armor.
The smaller warrior was sent spiraling to the ground with tremendous force. Goku shielded his face as dust and rocks exploded from the ground where Vegeta landed. Very slowly, his teal eyes glanced down as the air cleared and he winced again.
Vegeta lay deep in the rocks below, his face scrunched in pain and blood trickling from his mouth and forehead. Goku slowly lowered toward to the ground, but before he touched, Vegeta's eyes fluttered open.
The wounded fighter coughed several times before pulling himself into a sitting position. Goku watched, amazed that he was even able to regain consciousness after that attack. With fury in his eyes Vegeta glared at the super saiyajin hovering above him.
"What the hell, Kakerotto!" He yelled. "Why don't you think before you attack, you ass pounding, brain damaged fuck!"
Vegeta felt as if his body was completely destroyed. The punch he received to the stomach felt like it would have sent his organs hurtling through his backside. Then the kick to his back….that was unbearable. It was the same spot that Frieza had punched him over and over again and it was still a sensitive area. He tried to stand, but could barely move his legs, so he sat in the uncomfortable pile rubble as Goku guiltily floated above him.
"Um, Vegeta," Goku said shyly. "Er, how…how do you do that?"
Vegeta blinked in confusion before snapping, "How do I do what, Kakerotto?"
Goku blushed deeply and pushed his index fingers together. "How do you make such comebacks and insults?" He had heard what Vegeta said when he awoke form the attack.
The prince was definitely not expecting this. What the hell kind of question was that even?
"Why in the hell would you even want to know that?"
Goku shrugged childishly.
"Well, I just hear you say some amazingly, creative and awful stuff to people and I was just wondering how you came up with stuff so easily."
Vegeta shook his head, trying to clear the pounding headache, but it was useless. Talking to the fool was like talking to a brick wall.
"Let's just say that I received a lot of helpful pointers in creating insults while I was in Frieza's army," he replied softly.
"Oh."
Goku allowed his power to drop down to normal and he hopped down to the ground. He made a few small steps toward the wounded saiyajin in the ground and then stopped. you teach me how?"
Vegeta stared at the crazy bastard. The savior of earth, good-guy, loves everyone and everything, wanted the prince of death and hate and revenge to teach him how to make comebacks and insults toward an enemy?
"Kakerotto, you must be more brain dead than I thought."
Goku pouted childishly and stared at Vegeta.
"If you don't help me out then I'll just leave you here and you'll have to find your own way home."
"No you won't, Kakerotto," Vegeta replied simply. "You're too much of a prancing pansy shit to leave one of your allies lying in the ground injured after an attack that YOU did to put them in this type of situation."
Goku's eyes narrowed. He knew that Vegeta was right of course.
"Come on, plllleeeaaassseeeee!"
Vegeta put his hands over his ears as the idiot before him whined.
"Alright!"
Goku practically leapt in the air with joy. He slid down the small crater where Vegeta laid and pulled him painfully to his feet. The arrogant saiyajin refused to let out any groans of pain but Goku didn't miss the grimace of agony as he pulled the weakened fighter to his feet.
"Sorry."
Goku lifted Vegeta out of the crater and the two saiyajin stood on the green grass near the woods. Vegeta leaned up against a tree so he didn't have to put full support on his shaky legs. He hid a smirk as Goku looked at him like a happy puppy.
"First," Vegeta explained, "you'll want to look over the aspects of a person. You find everything that is wrong with him and just tear into him. This can be physical, mental, personality, anything. Hitting the weak points of a fighter always enrages him."
"But that's not nice," Goku replied. "I mean, people can't help the way they look."
Vegeta's black eyes narrowed and he crossed his arms. He pushed off the tree and quickly walked past the dolt before him.
"I'm leaving."
Goku grabbed his arm and led him back to the tree. "Wait! Sorry, I'll listen."
Vegeta pulled his arm away angrily and leaned against the tree again.
"Even if a fighter seems unfazed by insult or comeback, it always works. Like anyone, a warrior cares about looks and personality, too, so hit him with everything you have."
Goku nodded eagerly. "What's the next thing?"
Vegeta raised an eyebrow. "That's about it. When it comes to comebacks, you just have to be clever, and you, clearly, are not clever."
Goku sighed. He was too much.
"Ok!" Goku said, clapping his hands together. "I guess I'll try."
Surprising Vegeta the playful saiyajin shot into the air. What was he doing? Powering up? Goku looked down at Vegeta, an almost savage grin on his child like face.
"Here goes!"
Vegeta watched as Goku struggled to think. He wouldn't be surprised if the dumb-ass dropped dead right there from over-exerting his underused brain. 'Oooh…good one, write that down.'
"I'm going to punch your…um….butt through your mouth!"
Goku grinned and looked down at Vegeta who simply stared at him like he was stupidest person to ever exist. Vegeta felt his face turning red. How did he get himself into ridiculous situations like this? He shook his head and sighed.
"No," he barely whispered. "Envision someone, Kakerotto, then insult him using his looks."
Goku straightened up and pondered this. Create someone, eh? That would be fun.
"Ok! I'm thinking of what the androids look like! Um….let's just say that one is a blonde girl who wears a blue jean skirt and black tights underneath!"
Vegeta looked at the fool in confusion. Where the hell did he get such an overactive imagination?
"Kakerotto, that is the strangest and most bizarre creation I've ever heard of. If one of the androids was a woman, then I would surely be able to defeat her without hesitation. Now, think up some lame ass insult so I can get the fuck out of here."
Goku nodded, gaining his confidence again. With a deep breath he shouted, "Get out of here blondey! I'll kick you in your….no…I can't say that to a girl," he muttered, turning a deep shade of red.
Vegeta threw his arms up in the air with a loud groan and began to limp away.
"Wait! Vegeta, I have one, hold on!"
Vegeta's eye twitched with annoyance and he slowly turned back around. True, he did not have enough energy to even fly back to Capsule Corp., but he sure as hell didn't want to be seen with the idiot Goku anymore. Vegeta looked back up into the sky at a concentrating Goku. Honestly, it looked as if the younger saiyajin was preparing some strategic move.
"You cannot use dimwitted words like butt, or blondey, or immature words like poop or pee or dumb!" Vegeta yelled up to him. He crossed his arms. "You must use words that truly piss off your opponent: Shit, asshole, cunt, dumb-ass, fucker, dip-shit, hell, bitch, whore-"
"Ok!" Goku snapped. He resumed his energetic stance, not wanting to hear anymore of Vegeta's awful words. He wanted to impress the saiyajin prince, though. Sure, Goku knew that he was more powerful than Vegeta, but he so badly wanted the arrogant warrior to respect him. And he wanted to show Vegeta that he, too, respected him.
Goku took a deep breath. "I'm gonna…..I'm gonna…" Vegeta watched with actual suspense as his idiot opponent gathered his thoughts. Would he be impressed with Kakerotto's soon to be insult? Goku was turning red in the face, he almost seemed to be powering up.
"I'M GONNA SHIT UP YOUR SKIRT!"
Goku looked down at Vegeta who mistook his shocked expression of barely contained snickering as a look of impressed respect. So, he decided to continue.
"THERE'S GOING TO BE SO MUCH SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH YOU WON'T KNOW WHAT'S HAPPENING!"
Waves of laughter had taken hold of Vegeta. He tried to keep in his laughter as Goku shouted the most ridiculous obscenities, but it was too much. He didn't want the foolish saiyajin to see him actually laugh without a smirk or evil glare, but he couldn't stop. His aching ribs shook and he fell to his knees, laughter rolling out of him.
Goku floated to the ground slowly. He pouted and looked quite embarrassed, but was pleased and surprised to see the usual scowling prince doubled over with intense laughter. Goku turned red as Vegeta looked up at him, an actual grin on his face. It looked very out of place on his usually darkened expression. The prince tried to say something, but another wave of laughter erupted from his mouth as he recalled the absurd string of words the usually goofy, clean-mouthed earth saiyajin said.
"Oh come on," Goku pouted grumpily. "It was not that funny."
His upset tones made Vegeta laugh harder. Goku couldn't help but smile, as well. This was certainly a bizarre situation. Perhaps yelling out insults and good comebacks was the one thing that Vegeta truly excelled at, better than him. After about ten minutes Vegeta was able to calm himself down and tried to rise. With a sharp gasp, he fell back down to his knees and clutched his aching ribs.
"Are you ok?" Goku asked.
Vegeta felt his annoyance rise again as the dim saiyajin drew closer. The prince reddened in the cheeks slightly as he became aware that the one fighter he hated the most had just seen him break down into a fit of uncontrollable laughter.
"The attacks that you inflicted on me before….I think they became worse from my laughter."
Goku grinned and playfully slapped Vegeta on the back. With a loud "oof!" he fell onto his face.
"Oops! Sorry Vegeta!" Goku leaned down and pulled Vegeta to his feet. "That's nonsense, though. Laughter always helps, not hurts."
Vegeta pushed away from Goku and staggered a few feet before falling to his knees again. Pain lanced through his head and then through the rest of his body.
"Fuck you. If it's so good for you then why am I in a worse condition than before?"
Goku shrugged and walked over to his side.
"Hey, even though it may have not been good for your body, it's still good for your mind."
Vegeta made a quick "tsk" of annoyance and allowed Goku to help him up. His body was aching and he didn't pull himself from the larger saiyajin. He just didn't have enough energy to do anything else. Goku saw him open his mouth to say something, but then he shook his head and stared forward. After about a minute of silence, a slow smile crept across Vegeta's face.
"Kakerotto. What is up with your obsession with the word shit?"
Goku reddened again as he recalled the two stupid insults he tried to make and attempted to hide a smirk. He felt annoyed as he could feel Vegeta shaking with concealed laughter again.
"You're out of it," Goku snapped. "I'm bringing you home."
Goku gripped the smaller warrior by the waist and blasted off into the sky, heading for Caspule Corp. Upon reaching their destination, he placed the arrogant warrior on the ground. Bulma rushed outside, her expression becoming worried as she saw Vegeta's condition.
"My God!" She turned to Goku angrily. "I thought I told you to take it easy on him! He looks like shit."
Goku opened his mouth to reply, but was quickly cut off by Vegeta.
"What? Woman, you told him to take it easy on me?"
Bulma winced. "Well, you know. You've been training super hard lately. I was worried that you'd be tired and not up for fighting."
Vegeta growled angrily and took a step forward, but the sudden movements made his head spin. Before he knew it he was in the grasp of someone's strong arms. He could hear Bulma shouting at Goku and then calling his own name. His eyes snapped open and he found himself lying in Goku's arms on the grass outside Capsule Corp.
"Oh, Vegeta," she said.
She leaned down and the two earthlings helped him to his feet. He put some of his weight on Bulma and she they slowly made their way to the inside of the house.
"I guess I'll be going then," Goku called to them.
Bulma looked over her shoulder and rolled her eyes tolerantly.
"You're too innocent to yell at. See ya', Goku."
As they made their way to the door, Vegeta heard his rival say bye to him, too.
"See you, shithead!" Goku crowed.
Without turning, Vegeta grinned.
"Bye fuck face."
Bulma quickly turned to see Goku grinning like an idiot before he teleported away. She then turned to her new lover and saw an unusually happy smile on his face. She didn't question him, but simply rolled her blue eyes and made the way into the house with the injured saiyajin leaning on her small shoulders.
Saiyajins. She would never understand them.
'Well, what did you think. I know, ridiculous, but this scenario has always been in my head so I just had to write it down. I guess I should explain where I got the two insults that Goku said. I have to give credit to my friend Katie who is just as crazy as I am. In fact, if you look at a lot of my review lists and you see really psycho reviews that make no sense, that's probably her. She was actually the one who said the whole thing about shitting up someone's skirt and, you know, the whole shit in the mouth one. Anyway, I hope you enjoyed and laughed,(I know I did) and I'll have the next chapter up as soon as….I get reviews! Heehee, so let me know what you think, thanks!