Chapter 4: A dazed return

Alex was sitting next to her; a bit puzzled he watched her talk. Though it felt like half of the words she said didn't even reached him. Dave was sitting on the chair at Alex his left side and he saw how his friend seemed a bit dazed. He tried to keep the conversation going, but after five minutes he thought it would be the best to have a moment alone with Alex. 'Sounds good', Dave responded, 'by the way, Alex ...' He poked Alex his knee to make sure the message would be clear. 'I need to have a word with you ... in the kitchen, about uh ... diner, yeah diner!' Alex looked a bit strange at Dave. Since when did Dave appreciate his opinion about diner? His mate gave him a stare after realizing Alex didn't got the clue. If that wouldn't work, Dave thought, I simply will say 'attention, attention, can Alex Ryan come to the ladies underwear department'. That would bring him back to earth for sure.

'Ow, yeah right', Alex said finally realizing why his friend made this remark. They both went to the kitchen. Alex leaned to the wall, shaking his head slightly intending to make things clear in his mind. Dave blew; 'That's a surprise, isn't it?' 'You sure can say that. Why is she here?' Alex took a deep breath. 'I dunno, but it seems she has changed her mind about horse training.' 'I didn't even said goodbye to her last time', Alex said confused while seeing his last talk with Jasmine passing before his eyes.

Jasmine McLeod, Claire's niece, the one he had fall in love with, the first that had melt his heart after Claire's death, the one that broke his heart right after by leaving. She was sitting in his living room and he didn't knew what to think of it, what to think at all. 'Maybe she wants to set things right', Dave said. Alex looked even more confused. 'You know what. Just say you don't have the time to talk to her properly and make an appointment so you have some time to think things through.' Alex absorbed Dave's words and for once he noticed Dave's advice wasn't that bad. 'Good', Alex took another deep breath and walked back to the living room.

Stevie was searching for Turbo when she saw a car standing on the access route. 'Turbo!' ... 'Hey there you are!' A moment later she saw what, or better who, had caught Turbo's interest. She had to look twice: Jasmine? 'Hi Stevie, do you know where Tess is?' Stevie walked closer already annoyed with the fact Jasmine didn't even asked how she was doing. 'Hi, she's at the sales today. Kate and Jodi went with her.' 'Ah ...' There was a short silence. 'Are you visiting, cause well I didn't knew you were coming'. Stevie had an uncomfortable smile on her face. She and Jasmine never got along and she even disliked her more after she had Alex fall in love with her and just left. Though she had to admit, she was glad when she went away.

'I tried to call, but I just got the answering machine.' 'Ah, so you're just visiting?' Jasmine nodded. 'Well I probably will stay longer if it's fine with Tess. I'm taking some time off with riding.' Stevie wanted to roll her eyes. There we go; just changing her mind again, probably barging into Alex his life again and than leave for the second time cause she realizes she misses riding.

There was an awkward vibe in the kitchen at Drovers. Stevie had made some tea to be polite, but the two hardly exchanged words and just stared in front of them. Stevie all of a sudden got a bright idea, well that's what she thought herself. 'Uhm Jaz, I have a lot of work to do and well ...' Jaz seemed to understand it right away and felt a bit relieved with knowing their tea moment would soon be over. 'Oh yeah I don't want to delay you.' Stevie's face showed a pleased appeasement. 'Well, you know the place, so just pretend you're at home.' That last line didn't felt good.

What was Jaz thinking, she was a McLeod but this wasn't her home, Stevie thought. Happy she could continue her work, she walked to the shed. Why did she have to turn up today? Just when Tess and the girls were at the sales and Meg, who just returned from Melbourne, was in town to get supplies? And did Alex know she was here? Stevie realized that Alex never had talked about her after she left, but it was pretty obvious that she had hurt him.

Stevie was glad she hardly was at Drovers the next day. She had to get some stuff in town after checking the fences. And if she could she would make something up, as long as she didn't needed to be polite to Jaz. It would be all faked anyway. Because she was late, she had some diner in the pub.

It all felt a bit unreal to Alex, still. Jasmine was already sitting in front of him for more than an hour. They talked about all kinds of things, but it never got close to bringing up the moment when she had told him she couldn't stay at Drovers and it had broke his heart. Yes, it had broken his heart. He didn't even have the courage to say goodbye.

Some moments he just gazed at her. She was pretty, that was a fact. But it still wasn't clear to him if she was here to get back with him. She had long talks about Juno and the competitions she had participate in, but also how she had missed Drovers and how glad she was she finally had something called family.

It had been a pretty pleasant evening, Alex concluded as he drove Jasmine back to Drovers Run. It just was an easy night out, and he didn't felt the need to talk about last time. He didn't know where he stood anyway. 'I shall walk you to the door.' Jasmine smiled at him. 'Always a gentleman.' He grinned, happily she didn't knew all the things he had done in the past. He realized she didn't know him that well anyway.

'I had a great evening', Jasmine said as they almost had reached the front door. 'Yeah me too.' There was a silence and they both stared at each other. Jasmine softly smiled and looked away shyly. It made Alex smile and think off how cute she was. 'Alex', she softly said, 'I haven't only missed Drovers ... I missed you too.' She gazed into his eyes. She had beautiful eyes he knew.

Stevie was about to go to sleep and just had a walk with Turbo as she saw Alex his Ute. She walked further and saw the couple standing before the front door. She stopped and slowly moved to a close tree so they wouldn't notice her. No, she was not spying, she told herself. She watched the couple, almost holding in her breath.
Jasmine moved closer. 'I still want you', she whispered. Alex was dazed. He could only stare at her, seeing her come closer and closer. Her hand touched his and she stood on her toes, reaching for him. Their lips met and they kissed.
For a moment Stevie was nailed to the ground. It was like her stomach was turning while she saw them kiss. She couldn't watch it, her hand was covering her mouth and it felt like tears were finding their way to her eyes. She ran away and within a minute she was standing in front of her door, quickly getting inside. Emotions were running through her whole body.
The kiss became more passionate, but all of a sudden Alex pulled back, trying to breath again, he hardly could think. Jasmine looked questioning. 'Is something wrong?' 'I can't. I just can't', Alex said quickly, trying to put his feelings into order, which wasn't really a success. She reached for his hand again, but he withdraws his. 'Alex, if this is about last time, I won't leave you again.' Alex shook his head, still overwhelmed. 'No it's not ...' Jasmine got a bit upset, she didn't know what was going. Alex didn't give her the impression this evening that he wasn't keen on her.

'Is it ...' 'No, no.' He kept repeating. 'I don't feel it', he uttered. Jasmine took a step behind, she was thinking for a moment before looking at him again. 'Is there someone else?' That line did upset him even more than just the kiss had done. 'Sorry Jaz, I'd better go'. He turned around quickly before Jasmine could react, and she knew it wouldn't have any use going after him. As a shadow she saw him leave Drovers.