Chapter 6: That someone (part 2)

Alex drove home and all kinds of thoughts went through his mind. After arriving at the cottage of Killarney he got himself a beer and sat down in the kitchen. Softly drinking it he stared in front of him, reconsidering the evening. Jasmine's words kept repeating in his mind and he wondered why he didn't felt anything when he kissed her. What was going on? Last time he had fallen so hard for her. Head over heels, but now everything seemed different. And it had something to do with last time, he knew. Although he had denied it in front of her.

She had hurt him, just at the moment he thought he could love again. He could fall again, without really falling. She had hurt him, just like Tracey had, and in some sort of way Claire had. Claire ... he sighed. The love of his life. How would it have been if she still were alive? He closed his eyes and tried to think of something else. He didn't want to cry again. Claire would probably call him a softy, counting all the tears he had cried. A soft smile appeared on his face. Yes, she would have. He could imagine seeing her laugh. She was that someone, he was convinced. That question had upset him and he knew the answer was 'yes'. Claire would never have turned her back to him.

background music: The Corrs – Angel

She lived like she knew nothing lasts
Didn't care to look like anyone else
And she was beautiful, so beautiful
I still hear her laugh like she's here ...

The kitchen door opened. It was Dave. Alex' arrival had awoken him and with sleepy eyes he said hi to his friend and sat down. 'Did I wake you?' 'Mwa, guess so, but it's ok.' He rubbed his eyes. Dave noticed some sad look in Alex his eyes, a thoughtful expression on his face. 'And how did your date went?' Alex raised his shoulders for a moment. 'I dunno exactly. It wasn't bad, but it was ...' 'confrontating?', Dave added. Alex nodded and started to tell how the evening went.

'So she wants you back?' Dave asked while looking intrigued at his mate. 'Yeah', Alex shook his head grinning a bit cynical, 'a bit late, too late'. Alex continued his story. 'I just couldn't, it sounds stupid but I didn't felt anything.' 'So you're over her?'

Alex took a swig of his beer, quickly answering his question. 'No, I'm not.' Dave looked informing and Alex knew this needed some explanation, but before he would continue he had to ask him something.

'Do you think you can ever love someone like you did Leanne?' Dave's face showed a bit of confusion. Where did this question all of a sudden come from? 'Uhm, yeah I think so ... I hope so.' For a moment Dave thought about Tess. 'But do you ever think you can take the risk again?' 'The risk of what?'

Alex looked down and thought how to describe it the best way. 'Loving and get your heart ripped out when it ends.' Dave was a bit baffled with Alex his formulation. Alex noticed how the hardness of his words had affect Dave. 'Sorry, but it's the way it feels.' Dave looked comforting. 'I know, and I wish I didn't knew.' The two guys shared a moment of understanding.

'I hope so', Dave said a second later. 'I really hope so, cause what's life without loving?' Alex knew the answer but wasn't convinced. 'Let's put it this way', Dave said. 'Would you ever had started something with Claire if you would have known what would happen?' Alex didn't needed much time to think. 'I wouldn't have waited that long.' Dave smiled softly. 'See, there's the answer my friend!' Alex took a deep breath still thinking. But it would be nice just to know for sure that that hurting part would never come.

Dave stood up and lay his hand on Alex his shoulder. 'Hey we could always end up together.' 'I will never leave you', he added, putting on a high voice. Alex laughed. 'In your dreams Brewer.'