Longer chapter! Just as I said. this is where it gets seriously random, you get to find out more stuff about the emperor, whether you want to know is different.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything and don't plan to
Chapter 3, With a little help etc.
"Wow, this really is a small room," Luke thought aloud as they entered the small bedroom, full of strange Empire stuff and a small bed. It was a square of about four metres with a small alcove just by the door of about quarter of a metre by half a metre where the bed was. "Do we have to clear it out?"
"Looks like it, get Wes or Wedge, they can take that small, poisonous looking plant," Han said as he picked up, what looked like, a crushed Vader helmet and threw it out of the door. "We'll get rid of the mattress on the bed, then move the bed about as we paint, but we'll put down plastic sheets first to cover the floor," Han told Luke the plan, but Luke wasn't listening.
"What's this?" Luke asked in disgust as he picked up a strange yellow thing.
"Looks like a rubber chicken..." Han pointed out as he looked briefly at the thing in Luke's hand.
"Kinda beat up rubber chicken," he thought for a second, "this was the Emperor's room, right?"
"Yep."
"Why did the Emperor have a rubber chicken in his room?"
"People have strange fetishes, Luke," Han said, throwing a few pairs of socks and underwear out of the room, "well; I never would have guessed Mr. Palpatine wore boxers..."
"I didn't want to know, Han."
"Well you do now, what you got there?"
"Paint brushes," Luke said proudly, "must have been an artistic soul!"
"Wow, I never knew the Emperor that well."
"Han, you never met the Emperor!" Luke pointed out angrily.
"Yeah, but I was frozen in carbonate by his right hand man," Han replied with certain pride that he had survived.
"Not the same, anyway, is this paint or mould?" Luke asked, pointing at a stain on the carpet.
"Mould."
"Ew."
"Nah, just kidding, it's paint," Han changed his mind, "or is it mould? I dunno, go find a mould expert."
"Or a paint expert," Luke pointed out.
"I doubt you get many of those."
"I'll go ask Vader then!" Luke jumped up, happy to get away from the cleaning out.
"Vader is being whipped into working, Luke, I don't think he'll be able to get away to check out whether something is paint or mould," Han told him, rolling his eyes.
"How are you boys doing?" Leia asked, walking in, only to get her arms filled with random stuff. "Han, what are you doing?" Luke walked past her with a rubber chicken in each hand.
"Making you help!" Han growled.
"Tough, I've got a meeting. Hang on; is that a half eaten sandwich?" She asked looking at something in the pile of stuff in her arms.
"Probably, Luke found a beaten up rubber chicken and I found a smashed up Vader helmet," Han announced, "could you dump all that outside, Princess?"
"Try no, I'm already late. Do it yourself, fly boy," Leia snapped back, dropping all the stuff onto the floor and something smashed.
"That could be dangerous you know," Han said, talking about whatever had smashed.
"Sort it out then." Leia smiled before walking out the door.
"What if I die?" Han called after her.
"I'll cry a bit at your funeral!" Leia called back, "happy?" Han grumbled a bit, but found out that what had smashed had only been a snow globe of Hoth.
"Why the hell does he have a snow globe!" Han asked no one in particular.
"Because this Emperor was a weirdo!" Luke shouted, jumping into the room in a star shape.
"Don't be so bloody energetic," Han snapped, Leia turning up had annoyed him, especially as she hadn't helped at all.
"Wacko!" Luke carried on about the Emperor. "Idiot! Short dead dude!"
"I wouldn't say that!" The Emperor said, entering the room with a sneer.
"BUT YOU'RE DEAD!" Han and Luke screamed in unison.
"Yeah, I saw you die!" Luke carried on.
"Well, I'm full of surprises!" The Emperor smiled, "where's my rubber chicken?"
"Outside," Luke grumbled, unhappy that his enemy had survived a very long fall.
"Okay," the Emperor said with a scarily sweet smile and he left to look for his chickens, whistling 'Always Look on the Bright Side of Life'.
"What a strange little man," Han said, shaking his head, "hey, I've met him now!"
"Yes Han."
"Hey, is this a picture of the Emperor with Elvis Parsnip?" Han asked, picking up a photo in a silver frame.
"Presley," Luke corrected him, "you have no music knowledge, Han."
"How true, Presley, you say. Tom Jones is crap," Han stated.
"How did we go from Elvis to Tom Jones?" Luke asked, confused.
"Is little Luke confuzzled?" Wes Janson asked as he entered the room, "hey guys, I got bored with one of the corridors' and decided to help you instead!"
"Yay," Han said sarcastically. Luke brightened up and waved to Wes who waved back just as enthusiastically.
"Hey Wes!"
"Hey Lukie!"
"Don't call me that."
"You look scary when you do that!" Wes pointed at Luke's grumpy face.
"Janson, if you're here to help, then help," Han snapped, throwing some random crap at Wes which he caught and turned up his nose.
"Is that a mouldy packet of crisps?" He asked after a moment.
"No, the crisps inside are probably mouldy though," Han pointed out and Luke laughed. "Glad someone thinks I'm funny," Han muttered, carrying on with the clearing out.
"Ew!" Luke yelled, jumping back, "jelly baby crushed into the floor!"
"Squishy," Wes commented on the problem, but didn't bother to do anything.
Ten minutes later, the clearing out was done.
"Done!" Luke announced happily, stating the obvious as the author had already written that. "Ow," Luke said as the author decided to hurt him with a load of boxes falling on him.
"Shouldn't bother the author, Lukie," Wes teased him. Luke looked grumpily
"What do we do now?" Han asked, looking around the empty room.
"Get drunk?" Wes suggested, Han and Luke sighed at their companion's stupidity.
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" They heard a yell from the corridor and the scary Emperor burst in. "You're painting my lovely room... Lilac!"
"Yep," all three of the decorators' replied with a smile.
"But lilac is a horrible colour!"
"Yeah, we know Mr. Emp. But it's his sister's fault," Han told him, pointing at Luke. "Hey, aren't you supposed to be painting some room?" Han asked. The Emperor blushed and shut the door.
"Don't tell them I'm here, they'll whip me!" He cried, holding onto Han's shirt as he went down on his knees, pleading with the pirate.
"Oi! Ackbar! One's escaped!" Luke yelled and Ackbar soon crashed into the room.
"I wondered where you had gone, Palpatine!" He cried triumphantly, pulling the sobbing Emperor to his feet, "now, would you rather do an extra room or be whipped?" They left.
"Soooo..." Han began, "what do we do now?"
"I already said," Wes reminded him, "get drunk!"
"Shut up Janson," Han growled.
"Yes Solo."
Random?