He should not feel like this. He is the Doctor. He should be stronger.
He shudders at the thought of pushing her away. Weakness flows through his blood.
He lifts his head in unconvincing defiance. What hope has he in this battle?
None.
All he is now is shell, empty, alone, fragile.
She is the stronger being. He leans on her for support even though he knows he should not.
She looks into his face and smiles. Love shines in her eyes and it both warms him and frightens him.
He knows he will hurt her. The last thing he wants to do. The only thing he is certain he will do.
He touches her cheek and her eyes flutter closed. His hearts... he feels them thud to a new beat. He allows his hand to fall away.
He must not weaken.
If he gives, she will take, he knows that she will. He will let her. He wants what she wants, even if he knows that it is wrong.
She is just a child and he ... he is almost a ghost. How can that be anything but wrong?
It would be easy to allow himself the luxury of love. Painless to slip into the warmth she offers willingly.
But he is unworthy.
She is the purest golden light and he is the darkness, the destroyer of worlds.
He has not made ammends enough to deserve love -- or ever will.
He looks away from her face.
She must not see his pain. She would ask him of it and he would tell her stories that would give her nightmares.
She would think him a monster.
She would never look at him with those eyes of love again.
Then, what would be the point of living?
Yet still his hearts betray him, filling with love that he would lavish upon her, if he were a braver man.
Her body moves against his, the warmth alone is enough invitation, but still she offers more.
Her lips graze kisses against his skin, growing braver when she realises his hands have moved to draw her close not push her away; as she had first feared they might.
She leads him, guides him, convinces him that this is right, that this is good, that this should be.
She wants this. He knows she does, he feels her body telling him in ways that only flesh can speak.
He tastes her, a sweetness he craves.
He drinks from her opening mouth and the darkness within him is released.
She draws back from him, a new darkness in her eyes, the same that she sees in his eyes.
She takes his hand and he follows her without question. He knows where she leads him.
The room is dark. The bed is soft. Their bodies warm and breathless.
As he moves inside her she cries out and he allows himself to enjoy what she gives him, her body, her mind, her love.
She will give and he will take... because she will let him.
He remembers his greatest fear; she will die and he will live.
His mouth finds hers again. He kisses her.
He will not think of such nightmares, not when he holds her in his arms.
Hearts beat and blood burns and two lost souls entwine together.
They have found eachother.
All is as it should be.
He cries out her name as he falls and as she soars she cries out his.
He will not believe in nightmares.
He will not believe in anything but Rose.