Formerly a Oneshot by the name of Now He's a Man.
One of Ron's fantasies. Written in about fifteen minutes, so very ridiculous. Or maybe I'm just a ridiculous person. Anyway, from the song 'Now You're A Man' by DVDA. Oh, can you tell how good I am at writing summaries?
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Now He's a Man -
What makes a man
Is it the power in his hands
Is it his quest for glory
Give it all you got
To fight to the top
So we can know your story
Ron looked once again into the Mirror of Erised in his paltry, lanky body. What he saw captivated him, as he saw himself; an older version of himself, shirtless, with strapping muscles, bulging biceps. Around his shoulders hung his robes, which flowed like a cape. Attached to the robes were several different badges, including those of a Prefect, Head Boy, Quidditch Captain, and for some reason, even a badge labeled I, for the Inquisitorial Squad. Behind him were several trophies scattered on the ground. He instantly recognized the House Cup, the Quidditch Cup, the Order of Merlin, and several Witch Weekly Sexiest Wizard Alive ribbons.
Now you're a man
A man, man, man,
Now you're a man
A manny, manny, man,
A man, man, man
You are now a man
You're a man
Now you're a man
And from nowhere, Hermione came running up to him, and jumping in his beefy arms. Holding him, and rubbing him, she purred as if she were a cat. A long French kiss later, he grinned, and pulled his head up for air. Nonexistent people cheered as sparks flew in his mind. Suddenly, two unknown women grabbed Hermione from him and discarded her as if she were a sack of potatoes.
What makes a man
Is it the woman in his arms
Just cause she has big titties
Or is it the way
He fights everyday
No, it's probably the titties
The two buxom blondes, one of whom appeared to be his sister-in-law, Fleur Delacour, the other the busty Hannah Abbott. They slinked around him, rubbing themselves into him, and all Ron could do was smile euphorically. They both wore skimpy blue bikinis, and Ron positioned his hands to remove Hannah's top.
Now you're a man
A man, man, man,
Now you're a man-man
Man, man, man, man, man
Now you're a man
M-A-N man, man, man, man
Now you're a man.
And then Ron woke up.
"Bloody hell," he said, and a cocky grin appeared on his face.
I don't know what came over me. Oh well, maybe a few of you will get a good laugh out of this.
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I'd like to thank the person who reviewed this when it was a story. I was stupid and deleted the story without getting your name first. Review again and I'll give you proper credit.