Wow, I never expected to get such a reaction! Um, that's kinda hard to follow, but I'll try. Oh, and it's longer this time, so, here you go, as requested! Thanks for all the reviews!

The Babysitter

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Jack Sparrow sauntered into Will and Elizabeth's living room after their daughter. She stood, whimpering.

"Who are you?" She asked, glaring at him.

"Well, that would be Captain Jack Sparrow, savvy?" He smiled.

"'Captain?'" she asked, "You don't have a boat."

"Yes, well, I have the hat." He pointed it out. She looked skeptical. He knelt down and smiled at her, "Do you want to know what happened to my boat?" She nodded. "Well, before you were born, your mummy and your daddy fed my boat to a giant monster from hell. And then they took that monster and put it right under your bed." He smiled brightly.

The little girl gave a whimper then burst into tears. "Hey, girlie, shush!" He shushed her but she kept crying. "Okay, how about, HAULT!" He commanded, thrusting his arms forward in a semi-drunken motion. She sniffled and slowly backed away, scared of the man in the eyeliner. She hiccupped and Jack examined her again.

"You smell weird." She informed him and he frowned at her.

"Yes, well, you're a girl." He told her.

"So?" She asked, "Mummy says girls are smarted than boys." She sniffled again.

"Yes, well, mummy, having never actually having had the pleasure of being that of the male and, may I say, superior sex, could never and should never, as we all know women should be found in shirts or nothing at all, become dressed or otherwise suited in speech or apparel of that of a man, making her, therefore, a poor judge of the intelligence of said male genius." He eyed her, "Savvy?" He smiled.

"You have scary teeth." She told him and he rolled his eyes.

"What's your name?" He asked her.

"Eliza. It's short for Elizabeth, my mummy's name. Mummy doesn't call herself Eliza, though, she calls herself Elizabeth. That over there is Lucy. Lucy's the baby and she's named after daddy's mummy because-"

"Alright, alright!" Jack half-bellowed and Eliza shrunk back in fear and whimpered. "Oh, no-no, don't cry!" He whispered frantically and she sniffled. "Okay, little girl, from now on, you're little Jack 1, savvy? And that over there, that's little Jack 2. Now," he looked around, "Are there any more little Jacks running around that need to be named?" He asked and Eliza shook her head. "Good. In that case, I shall be finding myself suited to do none other and be none other than to sleep and be asleep." He said and sunk down into a chair, adjusting his hat over his eyes.

"Can I see that?" Eliza asked and swiped his gun from his belt. Jack was up and had her cornered in a heartbeat. "Mummy says that guns are dangerous and that no one irresponsible should have them. She also says-"

"Tell me," Jack asked, annoyed and trying to grab his gun though failing. "Does your daddy ever get a word in edgewise?"

The little girl thought, still clutching the gun. "Yes," she said.

"Well," Jack smiled, "What does your daddy say?"

"Daddy says never talk to strangers and never fight with a pirate, because he's likely to be beaten by an old drunken man with an empty bottle just as easily."

Jack sighed and rolled his eyes. He had to make sure to give Will his regards when the bloody rum-less bastard got home.

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Jack had Eliza cornered as she hung onto his pistol. He was about to lung for her, when the baby began to cry.

"What's wrong with little Jack 2?" He asked, peering into the cradle. Eliza came over as well.

"I think Lucy wants something." She informed him. He looked over at her.

"Who's Lucy?" He asked. She looked up at him then apparently deemed it not worth explaining.

"She needs food, I bet." Eliza told him and Jack looked at the baby.

"She needs rum." He grumbled and Eliza petted the baby's head as it screamed.

"Mummy feeds her with her breasts." Eliza told Jack. Jack looked at the little girl again, then down at his chest.

"Um, in case it might have slipped passed you," he whispered to her, "I have a severe lack of anything resembling said breasts. If I did have them, I would have no further use for Tortuga." He said and Eliza looked down at the baby again.

"Sometimes, mummy has to change her cloth." She told Jack, pointing to the white cloth wrapped around the baby's bottom. Jack made a horribly sour face and stuck his tongue in and out of his mouth.

"Yes, well, be that as it may, I am not emotionally prepared to undertake that, savvy?" He asked her and she put her hands on her hips, holding the gun in her right hand.

"Mr. Jack, my baby sister needs to be changed, and mummy says-"

"Hey- hey!" He yelled at her and waved his arms for her attention. "Mummy isn't here, is she now?" He then murmured to himself as he picked at the cloth around the baby's bottom, "She isn't here and she still manages to bugger up my day."

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So, was it okay? I had a lot to live up to with all those reviews… Unsigned, as always, welcome…