Okay, well, as requested, here's another chapter… Hope it lives up to expectations… Thanks for all the reviews!

The Babysitter

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"Alright, then…" Jack moved about the cradle of the crying baby like he was trying to take it by surprise. "Maybe I'll…" He picked at the child's cloth. "Or perhaps I could…" He tried to get into position to pick the baby up. "Or should I just…" He subtly attempted to cover the babe's open mouth until Eliza realized what he was up to.

"Just pick up Lucy!" She yelled at him and he stepped back, his hands up.

"Hold on to your corset, mate. I am simply attempting to find the most effective method of lifting the, erm, Little Jack 2." He explained and Eliza glared at him.

"It's a baby! How many ways are there to lift it?" She asked and Jack rolled his eyes, before leaping forward in one swift motion and snatching up the child as though it were something about to bite his fingers off. He then proceeded to hold the child at arms length as it screeched.

"Look!" Jack had to yell over the child's cries, "Now it's louder!" Eliza had covered her ears and yelled at him,

"You're holding her upside-down!" She yelled and Jack re-examined the child. That, he assessed, could just be the problem. He turned it right side-up. The child sniffed and looked at him. "It's leaking." He informed Eliza, referring to the snot running from the baby's nose and the tears running from her eyes.

"You've got to cradle her." Eliza told him, and made a motion like she was cradling an air baby. Jack watched her, then looked at the wet child he held at arms length. Suddenly, the baby gave a loud noise, an explosion, really, and snot went all over the captain. Jack screamed and thrust the child backwards and it flew through the air and landed in a chair, where it sat upright against the back.

"Mr. Jack!" Eliza yelled at him in a voice that could have been a carbon copy of Elizabeth's. Jack spun and glared at her.

"Oh, Elizabeth, now you show up! Keep me here with your- Oh." He realized the voice was Eliza's and stopped as she looked at him though he were mad. "Ahem." Jack cleared his throat and sat down in a chair. "I believe, as that last outburst might suggest, that I am in need of sleep or drink, and since your mummy seems adamant about the lack of one, I shall choose the other."

"Mummy wouldn't like that." Eliza informed him as the captain put his feet up. "Mummy says that feet should stay on the ground. Mummy also says-"

"Oh, for the love of Davy Jones…" Jack muttered, pulling his hat down and over his eyes.

"Who's Davy Jones?" Eliza asked.

"It's a secret." Jack informed her in a grumbly voice.

"Mummy says, 'secrets, secrets are no fun, unless you share them with everyone.'" She recited and Jack muttered,

"And that's because she has no rum." He grinned at his little rhyme that prompted a,

"What?" from Eliza.

"That's because your mummy has no good secrets." He grunted. Eliza huffed and looked around.

"Lucy?" She suddenly called out. "Lucy? Lucy, where are you?" She called in sudden panic.

"Lucy?" Jack thought about the name. "Lucy?... Lucy?... Do I know a Lucy?" He wondered aloud and lifted his hat to see Eliza searching on the floor and a very empty chair across from him.

"Little Jack 2!" He called out suddenly, and sat upright. He leapt out of his chair and began to look around. "Where the bloody hell could it have gotten to? It's less than the size of a bloody steering wheel!" Jack yelled and looked over at Eliza, who searched under furniture. "How do you loose a bloody steering wheel!" He yelled louder and looked over at Eliza again. "What, no 'Mummy says' now?" He asked, annoyed and making strange hand motions. "No 'Mummy says, when you loose the baby,' or 'Mummy says, when the leaker gets away…" Jack said as he crawled and searched. "Oh, I know just what she'd say…" He said, making his voice high like Elizabeth's, "'Oh, Will, let's get this dreadful pirate out of our nice, clean house so that you and I can run on upstairs and make more bloody babies!" He hollered and Eliza looked over at him, looking so scared and worried she was about to cry. "Oh, no-no!" Jack tried to shush her, but she burst into tears. Jack took a minute to appreciate the humor in the situation. There was a silent, missing baby, a four year old that screeched at the top of her lungs and he was sober as Will Turner had ever been. There was no humor, he realized. No humor at all.

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Was it good, then? I hope it was as funny as the others… Reviews? As always, unsigned welcome…