Sleepover
Chapter 2: Crank Calls
The food arrived about a half hour into the movie. The three guys ate and watched the rest of the movie.
"Hey guys it's almost 10, and we haven't even done anything 'fun' yet." Demyx complained.
"Well do you have something in mind?" Axel asked.
"How about crank calling?" Roxas suggested.
"Oh yeah that'd be sweet." Demyx smirked, "Can I go first?"
"Sure." Roxas handed the phone to Demyx.
Demyx punched in the first number that came to mind…
"Hello?"
"Knock knock"
"What?"
"Ding Dong"
"Who the hell is this?"
"Joe"
"Joe who?"
"Joe momma that's who!" Demyx hung up.
"Who was that?" Axel asked.
"The superior."
"Well Demyx no offence or nothing but, that was pretty lame… here, let me show you how it's done." Roxas took the phone and dialed Vexen's number.
"Hello?"
Roxas put on a girl voice, "Even this is your mother, where have you been! Why haven't you called!"
"Oh I'm sorry mommy, but they make me work so hard here. I just haven't had time"
"You should be sorry, when you come home you're getting a big spanking and then it's strait to bed with you mister!"
"Yes mommy"
"Well mommy has to go now. Oh I almost forgot, your refrigerator's running so go catch it!" Roxas hung up.
"He actually called you mommy?" Demyx was surprised.
"Yeah, honestly how gullible can you be?"
"Ok move out of the way amateurs, let Axel show you how it's done." He picked up the phone.
"Hello this is Larxene, who is this?"
"One two Freddy's coming for you, three four lock your door, five six grab the crucifix, seven eight gonna stay up late, nine ten…"
"Who are you?"
"NEVER SLEEP AGAIN, MUHAHAAHAAAHAA" Axel hung up.
"You know she'll electrocute your ass if she ever finds out." Demyx commented.
"That was great, do another one Axel." Roxas said.
"Hello"
Speaking in a very quiet voice, "Can you hear me now?"
"What?"
A little bit louder, "Can you hear me now?"
"Not really"
Normal voice, "Can you hear me now?"
"Yes"
"Good, Marluxia."
"Who is this how do you know who I am?"
"Seven days."
"What!"
"You have seven days."
"Oh my god I knew I shouldn't have watched that movie!" goes into a fetal position.
Axel hung up, "That was awesome!"
"That was priceless," Roxas added.
"I wanna call someone." Demyx dialed.
"Hello?"
"Hi there."
"Is this a telemarketer?"
"Umm no actually this is—"
"Listen buddy, I don't know what you're trying to sell but I ain't buying it!"
"But I!"
"Shut up you people make me sick. Always calling around dinner time saying you wanna sell me stuff and you can't even pronounce my name right! So do me a favor and go shoot yourself in the head you stupid &$!" the phone was slammed.
"Who was that?" Roxas asked.
"Zexion, man that guy's moody…"
"Hey Roxas are you feeling bold tonight?"
"What do you mean by that Axel?"
"I mean I'm going to call a 'service line' using Saix's card, put you on the phone and you crank them." Axel said as he dialed the hotline number
"Oh I gotcha, this should be entertaining." He took the phone.
"Hey there you big strong man. Are you ready for the ride of your life?"
"Yes I'd like a large one topping and does that come with breadsticks?"
"What's that slang for?"
"Let me rephrase that, you must be new here; I'd like long hoagie hold the swiss."
"What!"
"A large sundae topped with nuts."
"Sir I think you have the wrong hot line. If you give me a couple minutes I'll redirect you to a gay erotic hotline."
"Wait you mean this isn't Zippy's delivery service?"
"This is a sex hotline you dumb ass."
"Alright then send a hoe over to my house."
"We're just a PHONE service, that's different then getting a hooker."
"Stupid hoe biscuit."
"Excuse me, what'd you call me? That's it I'm coming over, what's your name and where do you live. Never mind I can find out from your credit card, I'm coming over so don't you move." Click
Axel was almost in tears from laughing so hard, "You called her a hoe biscuit that was priceless!"
"Oh man, Saix is going to have a really bad night!" Demyx laughed.