Et Velle Et Perficere

Disclaimer: Don't own POTO… but I do own Jeremy, Peter and Richmal.

A/N: It has been too long…

Please read and review…

Chapter 16: Wanting More Will Leave You with Less than Nothing…

A week later, on Sunday, Christine and Erik were back at Garron Tower… Raoul had been arrested by the police when Christine's father had phoned them, promptly dropping Carlotta in it for drugging Erik – he was not going to take the blame for the whole thing – and she had been arrested too. They were released reasonably quickly when the police had learned of the intentions they had had when committing the act… they were then let off with a formal caution and the police had told Christine and Erik that the case would not be brought before a court. They were, however, perfectly allowed to sue Raoul and Carlotta through private proceedings and there was an injunction placed against them so that they could not go anywhere near Erik or Christine. Therefore, Raoul and Carlotta were also to be suspended from school…

Needless to stay, Raoul and Carlotta's families were livid with them and Carlotta's father especially was intensely disappointed – he had apologised profusely to Erik, Christine and her parents and had offered to have Carlotta move schools permanently… he hadn't opposed the legal proceedings either. Christine could not help feeling guilty towards Richmal for dragging him into it… he was always so kind to her and had been such a good family friend for years. She did not want to hurt him…

Christine had expected something so callous to be started by Carlotta – but she had never expected it from Raoul… she was at a loss for what to do about him. Neither she nor Erik had come to a final decision about taking the two of them to court.

Currently, Christine was sitting with her head in her hands at a table with Erik, their headmaster, a couple of the more senior members of staff, Raoul's brother and Carlotta's father. Jeremy was pacing furiously behind her…

"That's not good enough, Peter," he shouted. "They should be expelled not suspended – they drugged two other students and put them in hospital. For God's sake, Raoul de Chagny gave Christine the date-rape drug then tore her dress as she tried to get away from him – how can you defend him when you have no idea what he could have done to her had she not gotten away?"

"I'm not defending him, Jeremy… I merely do not see why the education of two otherwise fine students should suffer over a prank that got out of hand…"

Jeremy stopped pacing behind Christine's chair and placed his hands comfortingly on her shoulders. "Cobblers, Peter, and you know it… It is not their education you are worried about – it is their families' continued monetary support… You'd never let them back in the gates if they weren't patrons – two bloody wretches who support with insolence, and are paid with flattery…"

Neither Philip nor Richmal moved to defend their brother or daughter respectively, as they were both ashamed of what their family member had done to the two people sitting in front of them… and Christine was so obviously upset that it would be in bad taste to try to trivialise what she had gone through.

"You are entitled to your opinion, Jeremy," the Headmaster said. "However, I think the rest of us would agree that you are rather biased…"

"Biased? How can one be biased towards the two victims in all of this?" he scoffed.

"Jeremy, your concerns are duly noted and I can assure you that we will be monitoring the situation… but we still feel it is necessary that everyone involved be able to move on from this without more of a break in the normal routine of things."

"Who is this 'we' you are referring to, Peter, hmm? The royal 'we' perhaps because, as far as I can see, you are the only one whose mouth is opening and crap is flowing out…"

"Can I say something?" Christine, who had remained silent throughout, said, looking up with tears glistening in her eyes. "I'll never look upon Raoul in the same light again – he saw to that when he put me in hospital – and I have no desire to ever speak to him again… but, so long as you keep him away from me and out of the same room or space as me at all times… then I think I could live with having him remain at Garron Tower. It is a huge school after all, I'm sure you'll manage. The same goes for Carlotta…" She paused, placing her hand above Richmal's on the table. "If, by the end of a time I see fit, they have sufficiently been kept out of mine and Erik's way, then I will not pursue legal action for your sake, Richmal and Philip… I never meant either of you to get involved. Of course, you will have to make sure Erik agrees…"

Erik could live with that – after all, there were much more interesting ways to hurt Raoul and Carlotta than by suing them for money they could afford to lose and Christine and Erik did not need. Much more interesting ways, indeed…

"Whatever Christine feels is appropriate, I will accept…" he agreed.

"May I add…" Jeremy started without waiting for an answer. "If any further incidents occur… Miss Daaé and Mr. Phelps-Jones will be well within their rights to sue not only Miss Sinclair and Mr. de Chagny… but also the school itself." He helped Christine out of her chair and led her out of the room with Erik following. "Put that in your pipe and smoke it…"

Three weeks passed without incident and Carlotta and Raoul were finally allowed to return to school, though Raoul would no longer be permitted to board there, at all… and neither of them was to be in any of Christine or Erik's classes. Unfortunately, as soon as Raoul set eyes on Christine, he took it upon himself to go right up to her and explain what he had done, disregarding completely the new rules set upon him concerning her.

"Christine," he said, cornering her in the locker room. He only wished to explain himself but did not give proper thought to how she would feel, being alone in a small dark room with him blocking the only door. "Listen, Christine, I'm sorry…"

Christine nervously backed as far away from him as she could and remained silent, hoping that he would leave without touching her.

"Oh, Christine… I'm not going to hurt you… I never meant to hurt you before either… I just wanted you to see him for the pillock that he is… I wanted there to be more between us…" he said, spreading his hands.

"Wanting more has left you with less than nothing…" she whispered.

"I know that now… I was stupid, I know… I regret it more than anything I've ever done in my life. Can't you learn to forgive me? I hate myself for ruining what we had…"

"I hate you for ruining it too."

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" Jeremy shouted at Raoul as he came in behind him. Christine could not begin to describe how relieved she felt that he was there to protect her should the need arise. Raoul really had meant no harm… but she was not to know that – and neither was Jeremy, as he disregarded the whole thing about teachers not being allowed to touch pupils, and backed Raoul into a corner like Raoul had done to Christine.

Jeremy brought his face to just inches away from Raoul's and placed his hand threateningly at Raoul's neck. "If you come anywhere near her again, Raoul de Chagny, I'll break every bone in your bloody body," he hissed. "And don't think that I won't… when it comes to my Blue Eyes, you would do well not to underestimate me." He smiled wickedly and patted Raoul's shoulder in a mock-friendly way before backing away from him and pulling Christine along by the hand. "I want you to tell me if he ever does anything threatening towards you again, do you understand me?"

Christine nodded her head hastily and spent several minutes alone in her room to compose herself before she went back to class. More and more often recently, she had been having difficulty keeping calm… it was small things at first, things one could chalk up to nothing, really – loud sudden noises making her jump, being shy around people she had not met before… things like that. But it had become more – she had started having small panic attacks and was spending more and more time on her own or in the shadow of Jeremy or Erik. It worried her but she didn't know what to do about it and she was too embarrassed to say anything… she took the ostrich's way out and tried to pretend it wasn't there.

After that incident in the locker room, things seemed to calm down somewhat – Raoul avoided Christine, Erik and Jeremy at all costs… Carlotta did not go out of her way to go near them either… and everything else returned to the way it had been before Guy Fawkes Night.

"Christine, I wanted to talk with you," Erik said, pulling a chair up next to hers in the library. They were the only two people there apart from the librarian so it was quiet enough that he felt comfortable.

"What is it, Erik?"

"You remember they told us in Careers that the first applications to university have to be in by the start of January…? Well, it's December now and I thought you might like to look at some prospectuses together… we can help each other decide where we want to go," he said timidly. In truth, he cared little what the universities had to offer him – he would go wherever Christine did... so, he would help choose the best one for her and he would follow.

Christine smiled at his tentativeness and nodded as he sat down. She placed her book down on the table and turned in her chair so that she could talk to him face to face.

"Do you have any places in mind, Angel? Or a particular subject…?" he asked.

"Mmm… yes. I've already decided – my first choice is The Conservatoire… I know we get six choices but… I've written them somewhere…" she said, lifting a folder out of her bag to look. "But we can decide where you want to go, Erik… Any ideas, yourself…? The courses I want to do have application dates in March so I've got time before then – I think only Oxbridge has to be in by January… you don't want to go there, do you?"

Erik was slightly disappointed that she'd already decided without him but he recovered himself from such irrational thinking and shook his head. "No, I don't think I'll be going to Oxbridge… I was also considering a more Drama/Music-based career… something behind the scenes, of course… but theatrical, none the less."

"Perhaps I should show you the prospectuses for the two I've chosen, then…" she said, getting them out of the folder and placing them in front of him. He subtly favoured the one she had named as her first choice and looked through it in detail for a course more pertaining to him. "Daddy helped me choose them… he and Mum went to the Conservatoire, though they weren't there at the same time… They met when Daddy was one of the visiting artists at the production my mum's fourth-year class put on. She was just a student and he was already an established performer/director… but they were married before the year was out," she said sentimentally, smiling to herself.

Erik's heart warmed at her little story and her obvious happiness, finding himself mirroring her smile. "I didn't know that…" he murmured, stroking her hand gently.

"Well, I'll leave them with you to look over… Apart from that, have you written your Personal Statement yet?"

Erik groaned… he'd been dreading doing that. It was such a waste of bloody time and he had no idea what to put in it… and there was another reason he didn't want to write it…

"No… no, I haven't, Angel… have you?"

"Yes… Look, I know it's bothering you – why don't we work on it together… you can look at mine and we can change it to suit you…" she said, encouragingly.

"You are very kind, my precious Angel."

The two of them spent the next three-quarters of an hour or so rewriting hers to make it suitable for him and, different enough, not to have looked copied. Then, she sighed dramatically and put all of her things away, leaning back in her chair. "Thank God that's over… I had forgotten how much I hated writing that thing. Now, all you have to do is copy it out again neatly on the good paper…" she said, moving to stand. Erik, however, made no move or sound…

"What's wrong?" Christine asked.

"Nothing…"

"Then, why don't I believe you?"

"Really, Angel, it's nothing…"

"Erik," she said firmly, lifting her hand to turn his head around so she could see his face as she stood half behind him. "Tell me what it is… I'm supposed to be your angel, not to mention, your girlfriend… or had you forgotten?"

Erik smiled. "How could I ever forget that I am the most fortunate man in the entire world?" he said, then sobered, looking down at his shoulder instead of at her. "If you must know, darling – then, look…" He leaned down to his own bag and lifted out one of the only essays he hadn't typed.

Christine was confused but took the sheet from him and looked at it. She breathed a sigh as she realised his problem… the writing was scratchy and inelegant – almost illegible and totally unlike what she had expected of him, and perhaps, that was why he seemed so ashamed of it. "This isn't so bad, Erik – we can fix this… Has anybody ever helped you with it before?"

"No, Angel… when one grows up in a care home with so many other children, one either learns to write with one's right hand or one does not learn, at all."

"Well, we don't have to have our Personal Statements in until we apply for university… if you go to one of the ones I've chosen then that's mid-March – we can work on your handwriting together and it'll be perfect by then," she encouraged.

"Thank you, for your immense compassion, Angel." He drew in a contended breath as he felt her lean up against his back and reach over him to place her left hand on top of his.

She placed a pen between his fingers correctly with her other hand and settled their joined hands against the pad. "Just move your hand with mine, Erik – I'll guide you… when you learn how to hold your hand to get the right shape, I'll let you practise on your own."

At the moment, Erik would admit to wanting never to be able to hold his hand properly, just so that she would keep pressing herself against him so and holding hands so tenderly. For a while he just watched as she moved their hands along the paper ever so slowly, already making an improvement in the structure of his letters and the way he was holding his pen. She was already the most influential part of his life and he couldn't help feeling special when she went out of her way to help the little things that bothered or hindered him. Eventually, he turned his head to look over his right shoulder at her face, just inches away from him…

Christine was enthralled with how tender the look he was giving her was… she couldn't help leaning down further and kissing him, forgetting about the writing. He dropped the pen and brought his now free hand up to her cheek to bring her closer as he turned around more to kiss her properly. Christine was surprised at how wonderful the awkward position was and was startled when Liam, the librarian, came out of the office carrying an encyclopaedia. He had his head down looking at the opened book so he had not seen what Christine and Erik were doing… nevertheless, they broke apart and gathered their things in a fluster as they hurried off to continue somewhere else.

Liam was baffled…

© Copyright of CrawfordsBiscuits, October 2005