Disclaimers, etc.: see chapter one
Opening Theme: No Way Back (AAA Dome Tour 15th Anniversary - thanx AAA lot - Live) by AAA
Ending Theme: Party It Up - City Summer Party Remix - by AAA

Chapter 10 written 11/12/2022

Bleach: Cross
Princess on Vacation
by Eugena

Rated M

Chapter Ten: Princess Explains

天国的白雪公主

KARAKURA TOWN - CLOTHING STORE

Kisuke sobbed.

Yes, Mayuri Kurotsuchi was his son-in-law via Nemu. But now he'll be making him the father-in-law of several women. Yes, Shirahime wasn't married to any of them, but as Soi Fon once declared, any father of Shirahime's children would be her brother-in-law, thus making Kisuke that person's father-in-law.

Nemu took a moment to make a phone call.

"Father Mayuri-sama? Did you receive my message?" she asked.

"Yes - yes. I did."

"Did you like the message?"

"Um -."

"Father Mayuri-sama, it is okay to speak to me about these things. If you can become attracted to mother, then you will give her another child. I am mature enough to understand how it works.

"It is my understanding this clothing item would help that along," she said. "I will purchase it on your behalf. Then I leave it in your capable hands to make sure it goes to good use.

"Oh, and mother may be spending the night with Retsu Unohana, Isane Kotetsu, Nanao Ise, or perhaps more than one. I suppose you could make it possible for them to have a child with her?"

"I -?"

"But make sure you have one with her first. I will love a new baby sister or brother. Or twins, that would be nice. I will call you later, father."

Nemu hung up.

Good thing Kisuke was too busy sobbing to himself to overhear it.

"Oh, Tessai," Yoruichi sobbed to him. "How could this happen? My daughter and so many people!"

Shirahime sighed. "Okay, okay. I'll explain. One, so many lifetimes. Yeah. Two, I'm royalty, so it's not uncommon to have lots of concubines - though it's nicer to call them consorts."

"But isn't that for your husband?" Yoruichi asked.

"I can't believe you called him that," Soi Fon said.

"Equal opportunity," Shirahime answered. "Besides, as you know all my guard members are my consorts. Well, I gave Senna here to Daichi. We've never made use of that connection, so she and Daichi are good to go. But only if you want to, son," she said to him while glaring at Sierra.

"Okay, so might as well make use of this now," Shirahime said. "Since I gave one of my consorts to my son, I may be open to more. Volunteers?"

Several hands rose.

"Momo," Sierra said, "here's your chance. But remember Shinnouhi won't have you then let Daichi have you. Or the other way around. You gotta pick which royal you want. I know you're still having second thoughts."

"You just don't want me to end up with Daichi."

"I can still be his consort, even if you're his wife. This is actually serious advice."

"Maybe we should just find out who has his child first."

"I heard that!" Kisuke yelled. "Daichi didn't I have that talk with you?"

"No, chichue," Shirahime said, "Isshin did. You failed as father - grandfather - again. Perhaps I'll ask Ryuken to explain next."

"Just how many times have you been with that man?"

"Nothing to worry yourself about. Now, about my consorts, let's see."

She looked to Yumi. She kissed him. "Yeah, you already got that."

She walked up to Shinjiro. "Father of my child, that already qualifies you. Besides, I have plans."

She walked up to the tall and insecure Isane. "You really sure?" she asked.

Isane turned red.

Shirahime kissed her. "Perhaps I'll see if we are compatible later."

She looked to Nanao and smirked. "You, too." She kissed her.

She turned to Retsu, and Retsu kissed her first.

"Well," Shirahime tried not to blush, "does that answer everyone's questions? Now, who else needs a suit?"

"Big sister," Ururu said. "I haven't picked one. So has mom's boyfriend."

"Her boyfriend?" Kisuke objected. "I am your father!"

"Now you say that," Shirahime said.

"No, you aren't. You hated big sister. You can't be my father." Ururu said.

"Now I have to beg you, too? How can I make it right?" Kisuke asked.

"Keep begging, dad," Lafiel said.

"Anyone else?" Shirahime asked.

"You have a lot to make up for, Urahara," Soi Fon said.

"True," Shirahime admitted, "but I meant anyone else need a suit?"

Yumi put his arm around Shinjiro. "Your star fathers of your children here don't have one, but we can go without. Besides, our kids want brothers and sisters, right?"

"Yay!" Yachiru said.

"Please, dad? Mom?" Daichi asked.

"More than one, please?" Raiko asked.

"A good idea," Nemu said. "I'm sure Father Mayuri-sama would help you, too."

"No way!" Kisuke yelled.

"You really mean that, Yumi?" Shinjiro asked him. "Not going to interrupt like last time?"

"Uhh -?" Yumi said.

"You don't want to share, do you?" Shinjiro asked. "You shared with Kenpachi all the time! Or is it just because it's me?"

Retsu looked at Rangiku.

"I get it, I get it," Rangiku said. "All the time. Kenpachi. Yes. I get it. Why did you even break up with him in the first place?" Ragiku asked Shirahime.

"Do not ask that question," Sierra hissed.

"Why not?"

"Keep pressing the issue, and I'll hurt you," Sierra said.

"Sierra, let me do it," Momo said. "Please."

"Okay," Sierra agreed, "we'll agree on that."

Lafiel looked at the two men. "No interrupting, brother-in-law," she said to Yumi. She looked between the two of them. "I want more nieces and nephews, so don't disappoint me!"

"Um," Shirahime interrupted. "I don't know for sure, but probably making babies at the beach is illegal. At least it should be. Yachiru and Raiko still don't quite get it. They don't need more explanation. Daichi, did Dr. Kurosaki explain it well enough?"

He turned red. "Yes, mom. Except, do shinigami or gods have . . . um . . . . He was kind of embarrassed. He said the woman needed to have this monthly thing. He didn't exactly explain that. Well, do shinigami and gods have that? Humans do, but do they?"

"Actually, that one is kind of complicated," Shirahime admitted. "Really complicated."

"But you're a god, and you have us, so you don't need that."

"Right."

Momo whispered to Sierra, "Does that work if the man is the same? Or at least half god?"

"You mean because shingami have that little problem, don't you?" Sierra guessed.

Shirahime looked at them. "Sierra. Momo. You two don't have bathing suits. Were you two going to test that illegality? Because my son doesn't either. But I'd better not see any baby making activities from you three."

"Don't worry, son, I can give you pointers," Yumi said to Daichi.

"Great-grandparents," Kisuke sobbed.

"Yumichika," Shirahime said, "you go pick out your suit and Daichi's. No speedos. No. Or no hope getting out of the doghouse."

"I'll just take it off for you later," Yumi promised.

Kisuke smacked him.

"Nanao," Shirahime turned to her. "Will you please go with Momo and Sierra to pick out their suits. Nothing too naked, please."

Nanao smiled at her and ushered the two rivals away.

"Shinjiro," Shirahime began.

"No speedos," he said. "And I'm not even in the doghouse."

"I like you so much better," Kisuke admitted.

"I heard that!" Yumi yelled as he went with Daichi to go look at suits.

"I'll help you pick it out, Papa," Raiko said.

"Good deal, my little girl," Shinjiro said.

"Okay, mom," Shirahime said to Yoruichi, "let's help Ururu pick hers. Tessai, please help worst father of the year award over there pick out his, please?" She pointed to Kisuke.

"You got it," Tessai said.

"But aijou . . . ," he whined. "Hey, I save you from all these savage men and women all the time! Give me some credit."

"I think not, dad," Lafiel said. "I want more nieces and nephews. Stop getting in their way with sister!"

"Jii-chan," Nemu said, "we want mother to have more children."

"Who's next then, Mayuri Kurotsuchi?" Kisuke asked.

"Why, yes," Nemu said. "In fact, I must thank Unohana Taicho for her wonderful idea."

"I'll buy it for him, dear," Retsu said. "Then I expect him to put it to good use."

"Thanks for saving me the trouble," Nemu said. "I've already instructed him on our expectations."

"I haven't!" Kisuke objected.

"Rukia, come with us," Shirahime said. "You still need your suit. I think that should be everyone then."

"But I still need -." Rangiku said.

"If Kenpachi's coming," Shirahime interrupted, "just go without clothes."

"Hey!" she yelled.

"That's how everyone assumed you got him," Soi Fon admitted. "He must have been drunk. Very drunk."

"He's never even hit on me," Lafiel admitted, "and I look almost exactly like sister. He must have been really drunk to think you were her."

"My poor brother-in-law," Soi Fon sighed.

"Yes," Retsu agreed.

"I feel bad for him," Isane said.

"Stop picking on me!" Rangiku said.

"Then stop telling Ichigo to date the princess here," Isane said. "That is disgusting!"

"I didn't mean -," Rangiku explained.

"Just who else did you send that image to, Rangiku?" Shirahime asked. "At least tell me you didn't send it to Ichigo! Oh, no, please don't say you have Uryu's number. He's going to feel really weird if he sees me like that. I'll be so humiliated."

"I'll just have to inspect my new nephew's phone," Lafiel vowed. "Now, come on, sisters, let's pick out the other suits!"

"Then off to the beach!" Shirahime exclaimed. "Before it gets dark!"

谢谢你们的阅读。