I was standing in Cuddy's office. Funny how life can repeat itself, isn't it? It was reminding me of being in the principal's office when I was five though twenty-three. Come to think of it, when did I get any learning done? I was such a smartass back then.
"House, are you listening to me?" Cuddy asked sharply.
I sighed, horrified at her blatant opening. "I was distracted by the pastel tank top you seem to be seducing me with today." Strike that, I'm still a smartass.
She buttoned the top of her suit jacket and leaned forward. "I am shocked at the both of you. Well, House not so much, but you should know better than this. You're the one with real morals!"
I glanced over at the other occupant of the room and stuck out my lip in a mock pout. "You're such a bad influence."
"Shut up, you and I both know that I didn't do anything," Cameron hissed. "Why didn't you warn me?"
"I didn't think it was as important," I shrugged.
"Stop whispering! Office romances are strictly forbidden, doubly so because you directly influence Dr. Cameron's paycheck. And you were discussing it in front of a patient! How irresponsible can you get?"
I raised my hands in surrender. "Alright, Cuddy, I confess, a patient saw someone they thought was me telling someone they thought had the last name Cameron that I loved them. There, are you happy?"
"The hell I am! Listen, I'm glad that you found someone House, really. However, I'm afraid that I'll have to fire the both of you unless you end this affair this instant!" She stood up and stomped around her desk, getting right in my face.
"I just can't do that, I'm afraid," I said sadly, affecting a sob. "You see, I'm deeply in love with this other person and I can't give up on them."
She blinked and glared at me. "Why are you saying it like that? She's right in the room."
I leaned in close and whispered, "Yeah, but this way she doesn't know we're talking about her."
"Dr. Cuddy, the truth is-" Cameron began. I glared at her and pressed a finger to my lips. She glared right back and said, "The two people lied about their names."
"Are you implying that what we have together means nothing?" I said.
Cuddy was studying the other girl. "House, not another word. Dr. Cameron, the full story, please."
Cameron took a deep breath. "House, can I say the person's name? This'll be hard otherwise."
"Absolutely not," I answered immediately.
She sighed. "Fine. Okay, House is in love with…someone. He confessed to them, but they refused him, and then, in the patient's room, they 'discussed' it."
"As in had an argument, according to the patient," Cuddy filled in. "What about this morning? He had a tie on, for God's sake!"
She looked nervous. "Well, the person spent the night at House's apartment, but nothing happened…"
Cuddy looked thoughtful for a moment, then surprised, shocked. "You mean…" she turned back to me, but I was looking straight at the wall and didn't glance away. "House, he's your best friend!"
I laughed once, and tilted my head back to look at the ceiling. "Not anymore."
Cameron tugged on Cuddy's arm, and they retreated to the far corner of the room, presumably to have hours and hours of girl talk. I promptly left the room.
"Hello, brudda," I said as I walked into the consult room next to my office and saw Foreman sitting in one of the chairs. As I poured myself some coffee, I said, "I suppose you're having a great day, right? Lots of women that are so sure they found a lump that they need you to feel for one too, right?"
He let the medical journal he was reading fall to the desk. "You're not one to talk. I hear that Cameron finally confessed to you in an exam room."
"Hah, nope, she's all yours, pimp daddy. The rest of the rumor is that both of those doctors lied about their names to protect themselves. Fun, right? If only, if only."
He looked at me for a moment, and shrugged. "If you're going to pretend that she hasn't told you, then far be it from me to hint at it."
I stood looking away from him, glaring at the blank whiteboard. After a moment's heistation, I picked up a red marker and wrote Symptoms across the top. "How can you tell if someone is lying?"
"Oh, you're actually thinking about it now? I thought you just assumed that everyone was lying and went on from there." He craned his neck to see around me, and eventually asked, "Why, do we have a case?"
"Nope, I'm just trying to separate a lie from the truth." I wrote the only one?, and, below that, mixed signals: anger at wrong times/trying hard to stay natural.
"Who do you think is lying to you, then?" Foreman stood and walked around me to see.
Didn't tell location, didn't want to see.
"Not telling. From this so far, what do you think? Lie or the truth?"
"What would the lie be?"
"That the person doesn't love me."
"From this? I think it's true that they don't love you."
"Damn. I'll think up some more." I stared at the words, trying to remember…
Was trying to make a decision
Said 'I don't love you'
Wanted to be friends/not friends anymore
Calm at first discussion, ticked at second
Recently divorced /doesn't want to be hurt (?)
Punched me/wouldn't believe
"Whoa, whoa," he said, pointing at the latest thing. "Wouldn't believe what?"
"Um, when I said I loved them?"
As he stared, I wrote the last thing. I lied first, could be getting back.
"Right. How about now?"
He read things over. "I think that there's a good chance he might be lying."
I dropped the pen. "He?"
"Well, yeah, it's Wilson, right? You've both been crushing on each other for longer than I've worked here."
I stared at him, open-mouthed, until I just walked into my office and sat down, leaving the marker where it lay on the floor.
Hah. Review, please! So far, there's been about one review for every hundred views...