A/N: Mostly introspective chapter, but there are naughty bits of Tayuya! Be warned! Also, dedicated to ShadowBright, because I can.

The Sound of Fear: Chapter 7

Sasuke makes a list of things he needs to think on. Kakashi's parting comment reminds him that Uchiha Sasuke is no fucking coward who'll wince at sensitive subjects. It reminds him that Uchiha Sasuke is an avenger, that he prones justice above all, if only his own kind of justice. It reminds him Uchiha Sasuke bows to no one. It reminds him that Uchihas are never needlessly cruel. It reminds him that Uchiha Sasuke has honor and a reason to be proud of his skills. It reminds him that despite the pain, despite the loss and despite taking a step in the wrong direction and even despite making mistakes, Uchiha Sasuke always trusts himself above all.

The first thing on the list is Naruto, next is Ren. Orochimaru comes afterwards, along with the subject Sasuke's avoided most fiercely of all, the taking over of his body. The last on the list is, of course, Itachi. Sasuke puts him last even though he should be first because he figures he's already done a fair bit of thinking on Itachi over the years.

Ren in toe, Sasuke walks inside his chambers. He notices the blanket on the floor at the foot of the bed where he's made Ren sleep for the last couple of months and gives a sigh, something like shame curling uncomfortably in his gut. He bends and picks up the blanket, throwing it on the bed itself. He watches Ren take in the implications and possibilities, watches the green eyes widden in surprise. "Don't read too much into it. Sleep. I'm going to Orochimaru."

And that's a lie if Sasuke's ever spoken one. He has no intentions of seeing the snake tonight, not after what happened with Kakashi. He's not sure the sannin won't be able to smell Kakashi's influence on him. So when Sasuke leaves, he goes in the opposite direction from Orochimaru's quarters, through the intricate tunnels, to Tayuya's room. He doesn't bother to knock, just walks in on her in the shower and announces, "I'm taking your bed, shut your mouth." Because he can't go anywhere else in the village unwatched and because he won't be allowed to leave Sound in a huff twice in a day.

Tayuya thankfully just gives him an odd look and slams the shower door closed, nearly taking one of Sasuke's fingers with it. He growls out a warning, but leaves readily enough. He slides under her bed, staring at the mattress above him.

He wishes Nagraji were here. It's been too long since he last saw the snake and he ponders summoning it. He rejects the idea almost as soon as it formed. Uchiha Sasuke will not need help for this simple enough reflexion.

Sasuke organises his thoughts, sets his breathing and heart to rest, then he closes his eyes. The names fill in slowly, Naruto's on top of the list.

Okay. Figure out the problem about Naruto. Easy.

Or not. It's almost a trained reaction to bar thoughts of Naruto's company now. It's a visible effort to bring them back and the cost is high. Sasuke finds himself drowning in laughter, smiles and heartache. Naruto's emotional strength is what Sasuke always comes back to. So lonely, they both are.

Were. Naruto has friends now. The loneliness is far behind him. Naruto has filled it with friends who care about him. The flash of jealousy is unmistakable and Sasuke grinds his teeth against it. Chances are he doesn't even remember what it feels like to be alone. There should be nothing special about him anymore.

But Naruto thinks he loves Sasuke. Naruto thinks he needs Sasuke. There's something so horribly wrong about that, because it feels real.

It's not like Sakura's pleading need, it's not Ren's constant protection, it's tried and true and Naruto would give his life for Sasuke. He thinks Sasuke is worth it. And it doesn't feel like he's lying. Naruto loves that Sasuke's silence says all he needs to hear, even if he'll complain about it. He loves that their fighting proves how much they need one another. He loves Sasuke for Sasuke, for his bitterness and his intelligence, for his strengths and his weaknesses, his arrogance and vulnerability. It feels nothing like a child's crush. It doesn't seem like things they should known to feel at their age.

And it scared Sasuke halfway across the world, literally.

A frown brings Sasuke's brows together, thinking about how much of his decision to come here was based on fear. Sasuke's entire existence is based on becoming the best, overcoming adversity to win. He can't admit to an equal strength. He can't admit defeat. He simply cannot admit that someone will always beat him no matter what. He won't give into the thought that there's something Uchiha Sasuke can't overcome. Because the greatest test of all is Itachi. And if he can't even be consistently strong, how the hell is he supposed to beat the best? Giving in to Naruto is giving in to Itachi. Telling Naruto he's an equal, telling him 'you have the possibility of beating me' is the same as telling himself he'll never be strong enough for Itachi.

Sasuke knows it's unfair to Naruto. He knows that Naruto needs, thrives on this acknowledgment. He knows Naruto's always needed it from him. But to accept being defeated goes against the very foundation of who Sasuke is. The will to become better, the drive to do so, it all stems from this center-point in Sasuke's being that refuses to be tamed.

Tayuya comes back in the room, dripping wet and naked. She knows he's under the bed and gives a snort but doesn't comment otherwise. She just lies down on the mattress and promptly pretends to sleep.

Sasuke thinks back to that moment at Valley's End. The first time his eyes locked with Naruto's and they both recognized that neither of them could admit defeat. Even if he could, Sasuke wouldn't change that part of himself. No matter the amount of pain it caused him and Naruto. He can't see himself submitting to someone. His mind throws a mental barrier at the very thought.

He wonders if it's the same for Naruto. Of course the dobe can't admit defeat. It goes against his nature to give up on anything. It's this childlike notion that if you try hard enough, you can make anything happen. It's a child's perception that if you try hard enough, you'll never lose anything precious, always get what you really want. It's the vision of someone who has always needed but never lost.

And it's an amazing source of strength. Distantly, Sasuke wonders whether Naruto's grown up at all. Whether losing his best friend made him realise that you have to let go, some times. Shaking his head slightly, Sasuke realises two things. One, he's not one to talk about letting go of things, and two, of course Naruto hasn't. He won't give up on Sasuke, because it's the one fight he should have won. And he'll just keep trying and trying.

The hint of fondness that burgeons in Sasuke's gut at that thought makes him squirm a little. What if somehow they stop needing to dominate one another. What then? The memory of blue eyes flashes and Sasuke shuts his eyes, letting himself remember his best friend. Tch. The dobe. Warmth like Sasuke's hardly ever known envelops him and he thinks Naruto shouldn't be able to do this to him from miles and years away.

That's why it feels real. It makes sense now, why he was so scared of this. It's real. It's here. And now miles away, years away, Sasuke finally realizes that he can't avoid it. He can't give into it, because he can't have relief yet. He hasn't given his brother's soul some rest.

But it's inevitable. Naruto will always be part of his thoughts, just like he'll be part of Naruto's. They've both left too deep a mark on the other.

Tayuya makes a growling noise, it sounds almost vulnerable. Sasuke knows she's not asleep and merely trying to get his attention. He punches the mattress up where her ass should be and smirks at the barrage of expletives she lets out. The girl has the most vivid imagination when it comes to cursing his name. Sasuke tries not to remember the the tone of voice she uses to curse him when they're having sex.

She settles back into a rest, on top of him and enjoying it but Sasuke ignores her presence. She just brought on another question concerning Naruto. Sasuke likes women. He's cold to most, but there's no denying the fact that Tayuya's curves, her breasts and hips and long legs do something for Sasuke. There's no denying he loves sex with girls. The warmth and the feel of someone's softer, weaker body submitting to his, moaning under him.

Sex is a somewhat recent interest. He was a precocious teen, but not that precocious. He'd had very few partners in Konoha, back when he was twelve, and only twice did they go all the way (the first being a horribly embarassing memory of fumbling and awkwardness). It's always been quite a hassle to keep his identity secret from the person he's having sex with.

It occurs to Sasuke that what he has with Tayuya isn't purely based on sex. It's actually a battle of wills and an all-out fight, if not a war. It makes Sasuke sigh as he remembers the tales of his mother, of romantic endings and sweet lovemaking. Sex has never been anything but angry and passionate for Sasuke. It's been his way of winning over stronger opponents. His way of getting what he wants. It's never just been for its own sake.

He figures he's not the best lover in the world, but Sasuke is very precocious and he learns very, very quickly. He's far from bad at it. And he does enjoy the act for its own sake. He wonders how it would feel if he loved his partner. How it would be if it were soft, gentle and caring.

He's never really thought of sex with a man. He's used elements of it to subdue too-fucking-strong enemies, but that's not even sex. It's a battle tactic. Sasuke's proved that to Ren when he first came to Sound.

Sex between men seems so much more violent. It will always be a battle and Sasuke does not want that with Naruto.

Rolling to his side, Sasuke looks at his outstretched arms. The one on the floor rests there, too-white flesh growing goosebumps at the cool rocky ground. His fingers are curled up and the middle digit is tracing from the meaty part of his thumb to the center of the palm in soothing motions. Sasuke's other hand raises and draws patterns from the wrist, over the warm pulse of blood under the skin, and caresses up his forearm. The painted nails lightly scratch the flesh, soothing quickly with firm strokes of dry, soft fingers. All of it is mesmerizingly slow, like an artist drawing his masterpiece on his most prized canvas.

Sasuke shudders. His fingers never pause. He thinks being cherished feels sinful. It feels like need and he can't stop.

It reminds him of Ren. It reminds him of having the large man over him, begging him not to hurt himself. It reminds him of Sakura's tears when she begged to come along. Sasuke feels dirty and betrayed. His fingers dig into the flesh of his arm and squeeze. He knows he'll be bruised and that's okay. It's better than feeling like this.

In his mind, he reviews every moment of Ren's devotion. He thinks back to all the times Ren protected him, all the times he shook under Sasuke's glare, all the times he would give Sasuke some of his own meal, some of his warmth, his bulk, his love, when he would help an exhausted Sasuke to his quarters and beg to take care of him.

Ren feels like Itachi did. His presence is so warm, so comforting... It's not like Naruto's honest and shocking warmth. Ren feels like slipping back into his old habit of depending on Itachi to help, to love, to be there for him. Ren feels like well-used, old slippers that are always the most comfortable piece of clothing, despite their tattered state.

All of Sasuke's anger and cruelty towards him explains itself. Ren isn't Itachi, but he feels like it. The anger is misguided. Sasuke knows that, he's always known that. He has to stop it.

He has to send Ren away.

He feels an unexpected sense of loss at that thought. All at once, Sasuke knows he's going to miss Ren, and not Itachi. And that's something that finally feels good and right.

Sasuke's fingers slowly relax on his arm, leaving four indents on the otherwise perfectly smooth flesh of his forearm. His eyes follow the trail of discolored skin promising bruises and he waits for the pain. It comes a little while later in slow waves and Sasuke realizes that he's drawn blood. His nails aren't cropped as short as he'd kept them in Konoha. And they're a bitch to paint.

Orochimaru gets pissy when Sasuke is injured. It's the promise of time spent with Kabuto, so Sasuke tries to avoid even the lightest scrapes and bruises. The snake doesn't let Sasuke out on missions, just trains him obsessively, trying to cram all the knowledge inside the boy's mind.

Strangely enough, the curse seal hasn't been a big part of things so far and considering it's been nearly two years, Sasuke wonders why the man even bothered to put one on him.

The three commas remind him of the Sharingan. It's fitting and it's beautiful but Sasuke has come to a realisation about the power it grants. There's still an ache on his back from where the wings forced themselves out of his skin. Sometimes, when the night's darker than the constant dark of Sound village, Sasuke can't sleep for the pain. He wonders if his bones and muscles were permanently rearranged to accomodate the wings. That thought makes him angry, it makes him sad and angry because this thing on him isn't his. It's not in his blood, it's not in his mind. It's an intruder, like the Kyuubi. He refuses to use it.

Sasuke's done a good job of not thinking about the curse seal and not thinking about why Orochimaru never wants him injured. At least there's one good thing that comes out of those two elements combined. Orochimaru wouldn't take over a body so damaged by the curse seal that it's unusable. The curse seal can't be this bad if Orochimaru thinks he wants to have one on his new body.

To give his body up to the snake is one thing Sasuke doesn't even consider. It's what Orochimaru is working towards, it's why everyone around Sound stays a respectful distance from him but somehow, Sasuke's managed to not even consider the possibility that it might actually happen. And that's wrong. Because there's work to be done if he's going to avoid the fate. Sasuke has to think it through and through and over and over again. He has to know everything about it. He has to know how Orochimaru does it, he has to learn about the previous vessels and why just three years and how is he going to beat the Sannin at his own game?

The weight of the task suddenly has Sasuke breathless with apprehension (notfear). It's so huge it's almost inconceivable. That Sasuke, a fourteen year-old cursed genin could outthink, overpower and defeat the man who killed the Hokage, that undeniable force of will who controls all of Sound, the twisted being who has led Sasuke into that false sense of security for two years now.

Fuck, Kakashi, what the hell am I supposed to do?

Tayuya plunges a knife through her mattress and Sasuke sees the tip coming down on him. It stops an inch from his eye after piercing the wooden base of the bed. "Stop fucking thinking so loud you ice-dicked fuckhead! I can't sleep!"

Still frozen on his last thought, Sasuke can't think of a quick come back. In anger, he grabs the end of the blade and focuses on bringing Kabuto's teachings to mind, sending wires of Chakra up the knife like Kabuto does in people's blood vessels, invisible until they wrap around Tayuya's hand still holding the weapon. She swears at him when she feels them, but it's too late and she knows it. She did not expect him to mimick Kabuto of all people. Sasuke pulls at the chakra strings and sends them further up around her body, his focus entirely on trapping her before she thinks of some way around the technique. She nearly manages to summon a spirit before Sasuke finishes tying her. In the end, she's strapped to the bed by invisible chakra strings, her full lips still spilling curses and insults to make the hardest nin blush.

Sasuke grunts as he gives up his comfortable spot under the bed and climbs out. Naked, tied and furious Tayuya is not a sight to be underestimated. But because Sasuke was interrupted at a crucial point, because he's still angry at Tayuya's pointy knife, he's not going to let that sight sway him from at least a minor revenge. A sadistic smirk curves his lips and it's enough for Tayuya to pause in her bitching and take in the dangerous aura that surrounds him.

Her being practically radiates that 'Oh shit' feeling.

"Indeed." Knowing what Tayuya is thinking is never really a challenge. Sasuke walks to her closet and looks at the clothes there. He takes everything baggy and unrevealing out of the closet, even the Sound uniform with that ridiculous purple bow. He puts them all in a pile, leaving only in the closet some rare dresses, tight shorts and too small shirts. He does the same to every drawer in the room until Tayuya has no clothing left to hide her figure under. She glares at him for the first two minutes of this charade, then starts to trash around in her bonds, threatening all sorts of bodily harm to him.

Sasuke knows how hard it'll be for Tayuya to make it whole outside of her rooms and to the stores in a skimpy little outfit. He knows the men out there will be wolves and she'll have barely enough strength to make it. Sasuke knows how she hates to be sexy and he knows she's probably going to make good on at least some of those threats but he is being good and trying to channel his anger into something that doesn't involve physical punishment.

So he forms a minor Katon jutsu under her suddenly pleading gaze and panic-stricken voice and mercilessly burns every last piece of clothing. She seems to be dumbly silent for a few seconds, staring at the charred remains of her clothes, then she settles on him the most furious glare Sasuke has ever seen on her.

He smirks to himself and ignores it. She is quite powerless right now, so she can do all the glaring she wants. Sasuke walks over to her on the bed, expertly avoiding teeth and nails that somehow manage to reach out for him despite their bonds. He bends over her vulnerably naked body and kisses one of her pert nipples, teeth lightly grazing its hardening peak. She stops squirming and bites her lip, determined to not moan. Trailing suckles and kisses down her bound side, Sasuke lets his fingers caress up her thigh and between her legs.

Helpless and pissed off Tayuya is definitely not something Sasuke will waste.

tbc...

Some replies:

Midnight Velvet: (pets Sasuke) Yeah... all those kids are forced to grow real fast, but they're still kids, yah? I'm glad you enjoyed it because it was my personal favorite. The vulnerability that we can finally glimpse in Sasuke was very beautiful to me. Oh and Kakashi, f'course. (waves Kakashi!rules flag)

Jenanien: Ren is kinda fucked up in the head. I wanted to just glimpse the enormity of his fucked-up-ness through Sasuke's POV. But he's fairly screwed up. (with reasons I will eventually explore). (whispers) I never thought I could write Kakashi at all. So happy that was a hit! Yay! (hands over Kakashi doll) (adds Sasuke doll) And now you have a pair. Whatcha gonna do with'em? (grin)

XxHunter The One and OnlyxX: Lol, short and sweet! Thankee!