Tarnished

Chapter Ten

St. Catherine's Hospital

2:37 AM Tuesday

Room 314

Josephine awoke slowly and her room was very dim. She groaned at the ache in her entire body, and her head was pounding. She noticed that things in her room were fuzzy and blurry and she blinked a few good times. When her vision didn't focus, she panicked.

"Oh my God," she breathed. "Oh God no. No, no. Please, no!"

She sat bolt upright and searched for the call button for a nurse or somebody. She couldn't see a thing for all the blurriness, and she began to sob as she searched her bed and the side table. She knocked the phone off by accident and she tugged at an IV in her hand and she yelped in pain.

She gave up and sobbed for a few minutes before two nurses and the detectives came bursting in.

"You have to help me," she cried. "I can't see! I can't see anything! You've got to help me!"

"It's alright Judge Sadler," the nurse soothed.

Josephine laid back down and closed her eyes, wiping away her tears.

Olivia and Elliot walked in after the nurses successfully calmed the judge down considerably.

"Judge Sadler?" Olivia inquired. "It's Detectives Benson and Stabler…"

She sniffled and looked away. "You've come to arrest me…"

"No," Elliot said softly. "Josephine, you didn't kill your husband."

She looked at them, her eyebrows furrowed. "But-but th-there was so much…blood…it was everywhere. Christian was-he didn't move…"

"Josephine, he is alright," Olivia said, sitting in the chair next to the bed. "We're placing him under arrest for assault."

"What? No," she sobbed. "Please don't! You don't understand!"

"Judge, we have to," Elliot said firmly.

"How can you defend him?" Olivia asked. "Look at what he did to you. He bashed your head in and now you can't see…"

"No, you don't understand!" She repeated. "Please, don't arrest him! You don't understand!"

Olivia took the judge's hand and squeezed it. "Then help us understand, Josephine. We can't help you if you don't talk to us. I know you're afraid of your husband and-"

"You have no idea how far this thing goes, do you?" Josephine cried. "This goes beyond just me and my husband. Please, talk to him. Make him talk to you. Don't judge him. Only God has the power to judge him."

Elliot sighed and ran his hand over his face.

"I have prayed to God to forgive me," Josephine cried. "To forgive Christian and help us…help him to understand how much I love him. I know what he's going through, detectives and I understand. Please, don't put him in jail. If anything, arrest me. Put me in jail."

Olivia looked up at Elliot and sighed.

"Get some rest Josephine," Olivia well wished as they walked out and closed the door. "I want Christian's balls on a silver platter."

They charged down the hall to Christian Sadler's room, but he wasn't there.

"He's in the chapel," a nurse said as she came by.

"Thanks," Elliot said.

The Saint Catherine Miracle Chapel

2:58 AM

Elliot gave the proper respect in the chapel as they approached Christian Sadler. What they saw surprised them. The man was supposed to be in his wheel chair, but he was out of it, prostrate on the alter, crying himself and Olivia knew that Elliot was better suited for this conversation.

She gave her proper respects too, Elliot having taught her so when they had another case that led them to the church. She wasn't particularly religious, but for Elliot's sake, she learned to respect the church.

Elliot approached the broken man, and he kneeled down beside Christian, whom was holding onto some prayer beads tightly, which the hospital's priest provided.

Elliot put his hand on Christian's shoulder as the man's body wracked with sobs and pain and utter guilt. Christian slowly sat up onto his knees and looked up at the cross, searching for redemption and forgiveness. His face was swollen with bruises, as were his arms, and Elliot could see the gauze and the dressing for the gash on his arm. His eyes were puffy and fire engine red. All of that rage had poured out of lithe, fragile Josephine.

"Hey, hey," Elliot said quietly. "Come on Mr. Sadler. You're supposed to be in the chair."

Christian shook his head. "Leave me alone, detective…at least for another few minutes before you arrest me."

"Alright," Elliot agreed.

"How's Josie?" He asked and Elliot sighed.

"She's okay," Elliot explained, feeling his anger catching up with him. "Even though she's nearly blind."

Christian closed his eyes and cried harder. "I didn't mean to hurt her. I've never meant to hurt her. I'm trying to make things right. We were trying to get right…we made love after so long, we were actually going to start talking. I want to change. I don't want to hurt anymore. I love her so much."

"C'mon," Elliot said, helping Christian up and into his chair.

They wheeled him out of the chapel.

"Christian Sadler, you are under arrest for assault," Elliot began as he cuffed the man. "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in court. You have the right to an attorney, and if you cannot afford an attorney one will be appointed to you. Do you understand your rights?"

"Yes," Christian said.

1-6 Precinct

SVU Squad Room

4:15 AM

Christian shifted in the wheelchair uncomfortably before taking another sip of water. He wished that he could be with his wife. Of course, there was really nothing he could ever do or say to take back all the years of pain he put her through, but he just wanted to see her, see her tears and share them with her for now he was feeling her pain along with his own.

The only place he really could run was to church. His mother brought him to church as often as she could, teaching him that it was the last place to find redemption.

Meanwhile, Elliot was standing outside the interrogation room with Cragen. His flesh wanted Christian to hang for what he did to his wife, but in his heart and soul, he knew that deep down, Christian was now vulnerable. Now was a perfect time to wind him down and get him to tell the truth.

"So, what are you going to do?" Cragen asked. "You think he's playing us? We've seen the remorseful husband bit before."

"Yeah, but I have a feeling he's ready to talk," Elliot said as he went over to the door and opened it.

Christian rested his head in his hand. "What's going to happen now?"

Elliot sat in the chair across from Christian.

"Look, right now, you're on very thin ice with me," Elliot began. "You and your wife are in the thick of this whole thing, and she says she understands. What exactly does she mean by that?"

Christian ran his hands through his hair. "How are my boys?"

"They're fine, they're with a social worker right now," Elliot explained.

"Good," Christian nodded. "Josie has always been so wonderful…she's a great mother to our sons. She does everything for them…takes them to church, protects them."

He broke down again and covered his face. He never was one to show his emotions outwardly, but he just wanted all of it to end. He wanted to stop hurting his wife and ignoring his sons. He doesn't want them to grow up to be like him. He doesn't want them to live the life he did.

"I can tell that you really want to change," Elliot said quietly. "I can look at you and tell that you've been living with a lot of guilt your whole life. Now, we can't help you and your wife if you don't tell us what's going on. Both of you are suspects."

"Josie would never hurt anybody," Sadler sniffed.

"She hurt you," Elliot observed.

"And I deserved it," Sadler sighed.

"Why don't you start by telling me what happened at the house?"

Sadler nodded.

"I came home after talking with my father," he began. "I-I was just so angry…I didn't mean to…Before I could even stop myself, I had banged Josie's head into the mirror. It shattered into all these pieces. Her blood was…she was in so much pain. I pulled her hair and threw her into our bathroom. She was frantic, blood running down her face, and still I kept hurting her. The next thing I know, I feel this sting in my eyes and I stumbled back. She came at me and began screaming and kicking at me. I pushed her off of me and that's when she grabbed the stool from her vanity."

"So, she beat you up with a stool?" Elliot asked.

"Yeah," he said. "The leg of it is what gave me the gash. And she kept hitting me. She got me in the stomach, legs, face. I thought that she was going to finally kill me. Then she just stopped. I don't know what made her stop, but then she ran out…dear God."

"Josephine is terrified for you," Elliot explained. "She is one hell of a woman. You ought to be thankful for her instead of always beating the crap out of her."

"I know," Sadler said. "I feel her pain…I now understand how it feels to be on the receiving end."

"Let's talk about Marissa," Elliot said. "And Bianca."

Christian wiped his face. "I swear to you, I didn't kill Marissa. I didn't even know that she was pregnant."

"Well, Bianca knew that you paid her to have an abortion," Elliot explained.

"I did," Sadler admitted. "I didn't want her walking around with my baby in her. Then she would be in our lives forever. I can't believe she changed her mind…oh God. Now she and my baby are dead."

"So you acknowledge that the baby is yours?"

Sadler nodded. "I had been having an affair with her for close to six months. When she told me that she had gotten pregnant, I panicked. I didn't want my wife knowing, but I didn't kill her. That night, I had gone to my parents' estate in Saratoga. I stayed up all night drinking."

"Who do you think could have killed Marissa and Bianca?"

"I don't know, okay?" Christian said. "I honestly don't know! And the other women? I have no idea what happened to them! I didn't kill anybody!"

Elliot sighed and got up and exited the interrogation room.

Cragen sighed and shoved his hands into his pockets. "You believe him?"

"I don't know, Cap," Elliot said. "If his alibi checks out for the night of Marissa's murder, then we're back at square one. Josephine was raped by him and I don't see her going out for murder."

"I got your DNA results," Warner announced as she came in with a file folder in hand.

"Just missed it," Elliot said. "Sadler admitted the baby was his."

"Well, someone's a liar," Melinda said as she took out the paper. "The baby wasn't his."

"You have got to be joking," Cragen said looking at the paper with Elliot.

"Dammit," Elliot huffed. "Then who's is it?"

"Some of the markers were identical to Christian's but not a complete match," Melinda explained. "But, the DNA from the semen found inside Marissa is an exact match to the baby's DNA. We're looking for a relative."

"Dear God," Elliot huffed as he rushed back into the interrogation room. "Sadler, the lying stops here."

"What? What the hell are you talking about?" Sadler asked angrily. "Everything I told you was the truth! What's going on?"

"Do you have any brothers?" Elliot asked.

"No, I'm an only child," Sadler explained. "Wait, what is going on? What are you saying?"

"The baby, Sadler," Elliot said. "Marissa's baby wasn't yours. It was your father's and you're covering for him."

Christian's face held a look of complete shock, the he shook his head in denial.

"No," he said firmly. "No, I had an affair with Marissa. My father has nothing to do with this. Any of this! I didn't kill her, my wife didn't kill her, and my parents certainly didn't kill her. I can't believe you would try to tarnish my family like this!"

Elliot showed Christian the DNA results.

"What am I looking at?" Christian asked. "What is this?"

"It's the DNA results from the baby," Elliot explained as he sat in the chair across from Christian. "Our medical examiner ran the test and 99.9 percent of the time, she's right."

"I don't understand," Christian said, looking at the results.

"The baby wasn't yours, Christian," Elliot said. "This test proves that the baby was your father's, and I'm thinking, that you knew about it."

Christian felt tears spring up in his eyes again and he put his hand over his mouth. Elliot knew that the information he just gave him sent him over the edge.

"God, I kept rehearsing…kept telling myself that the baby was mine so that it would be believable," Christian began to explain. "I convinced myself. I knew about Marissa, and we pretended to have an affair because I knew about my father. The whole thing was so…elaborate, and given my penchant for cheating on my wife, everyone at work went along with it without another thought. I came by about the information about Marissa and my father honestly. Dad and I stayed late at work one night," he paused and chuckled. "I had a question…a stupid one at that, and that's why I went up to his office. I was so focused on work that I just burst through the door and I looked up, and there she was, laid out on his desk naked as the Lady Godiva herself, and my dad between her legs fucking her six ways to Sunday, and I became physically ill."

Elliot sighed. "Then what happened?"

"Well, my dad pitched a fit, but I was mostly pissed off at Marissa," Christian went on further. "My dad can handle himself pretty well, but he's not exactly discreet either. So I told him to stay away from Marissa. I threatened to fire her, but she begged me to let her stay on. I pay her a good salary. I fired her on the spot, right in front of my dad. But he doesn't want her to go, so we all sat down in his office and hatched this whole…façade…I hated it. Hated myself! When Marissa told me that she was pregnant, I knew that if she kept the baby, all hell would break loose, so I gave her money, made an appointment for the clinic. I told her to get an abortion, and she went…told me she did it, and that was that. God, if I had known…"

Elliot sat back in his chair and crossed his arms over his chest. "Lemme get this straight," he said slowly. "Your father is having an affair with Marissa. You walk in on them…the three of you agree that it's best to pretend that you're the one having the affair. Marissa tells you she's pregnant, and then, you panic. I mean, that'll definitely ruin a rep right there. So you pay her to get an abortion, but she lies. Then boom, she's dead, and you and your dad had nothing to do with it."

Christian nodded. "I know, but you have to understand. As much as I don't like my dad, I still love and respect him. I mean, at home, he wasn't much, but when he works…my father is a genius in the security business, he's practically a pioneer. I looked up to him, wanted to become him. Guess I became like him in one area."

"Your dad beat up on you and your mom?" Elliot asked.

Christian nodded. "I know that it's not an excuse, but I really don't know how to deal with my anger. When I look into Josephine's eyes, I see my mother's eyes…I see that same fear and regret and hope and it tears me up inside. Then I think about my father and all of the cruel things he did to my mother, and I just get so enraged. I want to hit him, give him what he deserves, but I love him so much, so Josephine became my punching bag. I yelled at her. I've known for two years now that I need help, but my pride has kept me from seeking it."

Christian sighs and looks down at his hands.

"One time, I was maybe, six or seven," he starts again. "My mom took me out, and she was smiling. She was taking me to get some new toys and of course, I was excited. What boy wouldn't be? Well, we were on the road, and she passed the toy store. I asked her where we were going, and she just smiled and ran a hand over my hair. All of a sudden, the car went lopsided, the rims came off of two of the tires, and then, the tires started coming off. We crashed into the woods. We had to walk up to the toy store and call my dad for help. He was so mad. As soon as we got home, he slapped me and then made me sit and watch him brutalize my mother. He punched her, kicked her, bit her skin…then he ripped her pants and panties clear off and raped her, and she just laid there…took it as he hurt her over and over until it was all finally over, and she was bloody and messy. Her hair was messed up, her face was swelling. My dad came over to me and said with this depraved smile, 'That'll teach her, won't it my boy?' Imagine your father telling you that when you're six years old."

"So your old man is a cold hearted son of a bitch," Elliot said quietly. "So was mine to a degree, but we learn to deal with it. But, history does have a way of repeating itself, doesn't it?"

"Yeah," Christian said. "All my life I've hated myself because nothing I did was enough. I'm not even good enough for myself. And for me to hurt my own wife, the woman I love…and my boys. I don't want them to live the kind of life I did. I want my boys to grow to be good men."

Elliot knew he had to steer the conversation. He was sympathetic to the man's life story and his plight, but he had to focus at the matter at hand. Marissa's murder.

"How did Marissa and Josephine end up forming a friendship?" Elliot asked.

"Well, when I first brought Marissa on for the job, she met Josie and my boys when they happened to stop by," Christian explained. "After that, I think Marissa was a little obsessed with my family, but she and Josie hit it off quite well. But it wasn't until the affair started that they became really close, and the erratic behavior started. I wanted Josephine to stop talking and meeting with Marissa because of my dad, but it got worse once Marissa told Josie that she was pregnant."

"Be honest with me, Christian," Elliot said. "Who do you think killed Marissa and Bianca Lewis and her two boys?"

Christian sighed. "Honestly, I really don't know."