Chapter 2

A Lesson In Tying Shoes

Taking Raoul's advice, Clouseau began trying to tie his shoe, but not successfully. Every time he seemed close to tying a knot, he failed, and had done so many times over. "Over . . .under . . .over . . .no, that's not right . . . .what about under over under . . .nope . . .over, under, loop, loop, yank! . . .nope. What about over, under, loop around my finger, and yank." He left the lace wrapped tightly around his finger for a few minutes, then screamed, "AHHH! My finger! Its circulation! It's cut off!"

Raoul sighed, then bent down and took the lace off of Clouseau's finger. "Do you need any help?" he asked.

"No, of course not!" Clouseau told him angrily, then took hold of the two laces again. "Over, under, loop, under, under, over, under, over, loop, loop, under, over, yank, over, under . . . no, still not it . . . loop, under, over . . ." He went on and on with different combinations of patterns until Raoul asked again, "Are you sure you don't want help?"

"Why didn't you ask earlier?" Clouseau asked.

"What are you talking about?"

"Why didn't you ask if I needed help earlier? Isn't it obvious I need help?"

"But I asked if you needed help! Right after you cut your circulation off!"

"You did?"

"Of course I did!"

"Oh. Well, how do you tie a shoe?"

"First, you take both laces in your hand," Raoul began. Clouseau began to do as he said. "Then, cross one over the other. Now, pull one under the other and tug on them to tighten them. Okay, after that, make a loop with one of the laces."

"How big?" Clouseau asked.

"You've never seen a tied pair of shoes before?" Raoul asked, annoyance beginning to fill his voice.

"Of course I have!"

"Then you should know!"

Clouseau created a loop with his shoelace, but it was hardly the width of his pinky finger. "Is this good?"

"No!"

He increased the size, but only by a little bit. "This?"

"No!"

Finally, the inspector increased the size so that it was a good-sized loop. "This?"

"Yes! Wrap the other lace around it once, then pull."

Clouseau finished the knot, then looked up at Raoul.

"Thanks. Now, should I double-knot it?"

"No. You couldn't even handle a regular knot. Come on, we should get back to my mansion," Raoul sighed.

"I thought we were going to look for Erik. What does Erik look like, anyway?" Clouseau asked

"He has dark hair, and wears a mask," Raoul told him. Only a few seconds later, someone with a colorful mask from a Masquerade Ball some days ago and dark hair began to walk down the stairs. The inspector noticed him right away, looking at him suspiciously. "That was easy," he mumbled. "We have already found our suspect!"

"No, that's not him!" Raoul yelled to Clouseau, but before he could finish, the inspector was already walking up to the man. When he reached him, he tackled him down the stairs. He then threw him across the floor resulting in the man slamming into a wall. Clouseau then jumped on top of him.

"Is this some kind of joke?" the man asked.

The inspector chuckled. "No, you are the one joking with me!"

"What are you talking about?"

"Your name is Erik, and you are the man we are looking for!"

"My name isn't Erik! It's Jacques!"

"That's my name! Your name is Erik!"

"It isn't! Now get off of me!"

"Inspector Clouseau," Raoul said, "that isn't Erik. He wears a white mask."

"What if he decided to change the color so it was harder to identify him?" Clouseau asked.

"I doubt it."

"Never doubt someone for a moment!"

"Inspector Clouseau, that is not Erik. It hardly looks like him, and he doesn't have the same voice."

"How do you know?"

Raoul gave a long sigh then asked Jacques, "Can you sing a few bars of music for us?"

"Of course," Jacques replied, then began to sing. "LA LA LA LA LA! LA LA LA LA LA!" His voice was incredibly off key and sounded terrible.

"Erik has a good singing voice," Raoul told Clouseau. "You'd know it was him in seconds."

"Oh," Clouseau mumbled, getting off of Jacques, who walked away with an angry expression. "Well then, did you say something about going home?"

"Yes, back to my home."

"Why not just get on the case right now?"

"It's eleven o'clock at night!"

"And why are you so concerned about this Erik?"

"Because he kidnaped the woman I love! Let's just get home."

The two walked out of the opera and took a carriage back to Raoul's mansion. They went up to Raoul's bedroom, Clouseau tripping over each and every step along the way, then fell asleep. For most of the night, Clouseau sleep talked about hamburgers and all the toppings on one.

"'amburgahla, with ketchup, and mustard, and ketchup, and more mustard, and pickles, and maybe mayo, and tomatoes, and . . ."

A/N: Thanks to all who reviewed; Chloe Rides A Land Shark, opera ghost's pokemon, phantomphan1992, and anyone else if I forgot you. Please review:)