I'll Stand By You, a jag fanfic

TITLE: I'll Stand By You

AUTHOR: Vid Z.

PAIRING: Harm/Singer, Harm/Mac UST

WARNINGS: Harm/Loren friendship to relationship, fluff, romance

DISCLAIMER: JAG belongs to DPB, Bellisario Productions and CBS.

TIMELINE: end of Season 8.

AUTHOR'S NOTES #1: This is somewhat AU. Loren didn't get involved with Lindsey, thus didn't get killed. Her baby's father is Sergei, who returned to Russia after finding out about the baby.

AUTHOR'S NOTES #2: I've tried to keep it in-character as much as possible. I think I've kept Harm pretty in-character regarding his attempts at making feel Loren part of the family and caring about her and the baby. From what we've seen on the show the baby would've been important to him if it had been Sergei's, which means he would've gotten involved in it's and Loren's life.

AUTHOR'S NOTES #3: Loren was a different story. This story is a documented progress of how she was to how she changes due to the changes in her life and due to her growing friendship with Harm. This fic is something of a character study of Loren. On the show and in reading fanfic I usually dismissed her as a supporting and annoying character. But in this fic I've tried to explore and understand how she became the way she was on the show, so highly motivated, ruthless, ice cold. What she must've gone through in life in order to be prepared to go over bodies to prove herself. And the more I tried to understand her, the more I felt sorry for her. She truly was THE most tragic character on the show and it's just another proof of how DPB always abused, treated like shit and assassinated characters in his shows. She didn't deserve to die. She deserved to live a happy, long and successful life, but true to DPB's incapability of treating characters of his shows fairly, with respect and compassion, she died as sadly and as tragically as she lived. Requiescat in pace, Loren! You will be remembered.

SUMMARY: To Harm family means everything. How far will he go to help and support certain members of it? How far will he go to protect it and keep it together?

The sliding doors opened, allowing the two visitors an inside view of the mall.

"Crap" said the taller one at the sight of the mall filled to overflowing with rush-hour shoppers.

The comment earned him a disapproving, blonde eyebrow of his shorter companion. Although she shared his feelings on shopping during the rush hour she wanted to be the better one for once.

"So, Lieutenant, why did you decide that rush hour is the best time to go to the mall?" Harm inquired, somewhat sarcastically.

"It's Loren, Harm, since we are practically family and we are off-duty." they both glanced at her distended stomach, where the newest Rabb was growing. "You didn't have to come with me, I'm perfectly able of doing some shopping by myself. I'm not an invalid, I'm just pregnant."

Harm was slightly startled by the change from the nice, friendly tone to her old self. Her pregnancy hormones were messing with her, causing her to be quite nice and friendly at times, but then reverting back to her usual, rude behaviour. The pregnancy was slowly, but steadily, mellowing her. The fact that she even allowed him to come along proved that.

But pregnancy is known to sometimes be hazardous to a man's health (which Cheggwidden can confirm), so Harm was always ready to take cover should something come flying along aimed at his head. After all, a woman who had always been a bit on the temperamental side can become deadly when hormones are added into the equation. And Harm had no intention at all of becoming a statistic and an ER patient.

He still had a lot of plans for his future and a grave marker with words: "Killed by a pregnant woman because of hormones" wasn't a part of those plans.

And being the brother of the baby's father who had abandoned the woman who was pregnant with his child and the said child, was guaranteed to make him the primary target since the perpetrator had cowardly fled the scene and was safe in Russia. Harm had never been more ashamed of his brother.

But Harm was one Rabb that would never and will never abandon his family. He will be there for his little niece/nephew and it's mother, even if it killed him. Though he still had mixed feelings about Loren, he acknowledged (more like given into) the fact that she will be part of his family for eternity. Which gave Loren his unwavering loyalty and support.

Which she didn't know yet. He thought it best to not mention it to her cause she would probably take advantage of it. He was sure of it. Actually, he thought he was sure of it.

Actually he wasn't completely certain. He was, however certain, that he wasn't certain.

Actually he wasn't certain of anything anymore, especially not when it came to the woman standing by his side, looking quite attractive with the glow her newfound motherhood gave her.

Contemplation of his kind-of-sister-in-law's (according to Common Law) attractiveness made him lose his train of thought. Where was he?

Right, he wasn't sure about her.

He had never liked her, especially not after she came to him one evening at the office, when they were the only two people still there and revealed to him her plans for world domination. The world being the JAG Corps and her being the first female JAG.

But what sent him into this world of uncertainty was the fact that recently she was not the person he knew anymore.

Whether it was the pregnancy or something else, she was changing. Her courtroom tactics became less aggressive, she wasn't always defensive anymore. He could deal with defensive, he had plenty of experience with Mac, but he didn't know how to handle the woman he was slowly getting glimpses of.

The woman he found himself actually liking. And that scared him witless.

He knew his little brother must have seen something he liked in Loren, since Harm didn't peg him for being into masochism.

Harm knew that Loren's behaviour over the last few years were walls, protecting her from other people and from being hurt. He recognized them because he had them himself. But she had even thicker. The Deluxe model, with titanium-diridium plating, 2 feet thick concrete walls, with guard towers and guards armed with machine guns. What scared him was that he could see himself in her had he not had people who guided and supported him throughout his life.

It made Harm sad that she needed that kind of protection from the outside world and made him angry at the people who caused that hurt. After all, she was a part of his family now and thus he cared about her.

But that he actually liked the woman he was getting to know scared him. She was so different from the image she projected to the world that he feared he was a complete failure as a judge of character, which made him worry how many times he misjudged other people.

After all, here was one woman who he once despised and even a little hated, but now that he was getting to know her he was beginning to realize how wrong in his judgement of her he once was.

He was broken out of his musings when he noticed she was looking at him as if he had lost his mind.

"Yes?" he asked, his head still buzzing with thoughts.

"Are you going to stand there all day or are you going to stop blocking the doorway?" she was clearly pissed off and he noticed that he must have been standing there a while. Sending her an apologetic glance he started off into Hell, which was the mall during the rush hour.

"You didn't answer my question. Why did you invite yourself along? I am perfectly able of doing my own shopping by myself. I'm pregnant and not an invalid and don't need a keeper." Yup, there was her temper again. The look she was sending him positively scorched him. And not in a good way.

"I know you're not an invalid and I don't want to be your keeper. I'm here because you mentioned a few days ago that you would be buying things for the baby. And in your condition you can't carry heavy stuff. That's what I'm here for. Today I will be your Army pack mule. After all, we are practically family."

The glare that was sent his way told him she didn't appreciate him using her own words against her. The angry mutter he heard just raised his amusement. But being a wise man, he didn't show said amusement, because he valued his health. Besides, he didn't want the mother of his niece (he was sure it was a girl) end up in prison for injuring or even killing her baby's uncle. He had heard pregnancy horror stories from Cheggwidden, Bud and other male friends of his who went through that and it had made him glad he never had to go through it himself. Cheggwidden still had the scar which Marcela gave him when she threw a house implement (Cheggwidden was vague in identifying the said implement) at him.

But this state of bliss at being in no danger of suffering such injuries disappeared recently when he realized that such a fate awaited him also. Ever since Sergei did the irresponsible thing and jumped ship (or country), Harm knew he was going to get involved actively in this pregnancy and the life of his niece, which meant that he was going to be exposed to pregnancy hormones induced injuries. This also meant that he would be involved in Loren's life and that she was going to become a permanent fixture in his own life, because now she was family. No matter how much that thought unsettled him.

But he wasn't letting another Rabb child to grow up without a father. Even though he wasn't the biological father he was going to do his best to be a father to the baby (except for not being involved with the baby's mother). The last two generations of Rabb children had to grow up without their fathers and Harm was determined that this is where this curse was going to stop. Which is why he had some plans of which no-one knew.

Loren walked away from Harm. She knew there was a smug grin on his face, which is why she was determined not to look at him, because the urge to slap it off would become too strong. She knew she was over-reacting, but she decided it was probably because of the hormones. Besides, striking a superior officer was a court martiable offense.

What she didn't let on was that she was grateful for his help. But she wasn't going to let him know. She was a prideful woman in he private life, but she also knew her new limitations by being pregnant. She wasn't going to do anything to hurt the baby.

When she first found out she was pregnant her first thought was to abort it. But due to new laws, the pregnancy was too far along to do that without going to jail. The disappearance of her period for the last 2 months was attributed to the extreme stress she was going through at work. When she realized her predicament she cursed herself, Sergei, fate and the one who pushed for the new law. This pregnancy was going to insure she would never become the first female JAG. She failed in her efforts to achieve her dream just because she became a statistic of failed birth control pills. The only time she and Sergei made love (as she lately found out it was love only on her part) she made sure they used double protection. Fat lot of good that did!

She's been using the pill to regulate her cycle, so she was constantly on it. But she still made Sergei use a condom. But the condom broke. They both panicked, but then she remembered the pill and they calmed down. She was sure she was safe.

How wrong she was was proven to her too soon.

After she finished grieving for her lost dream, she pulled herself together and started making plans. She would have this baby and she was hell bent on doing a better job as a parent than her sorry excuses for parents did with her.

When Sergei abandoned her and their baby after she told him she was pregnant, she was broken hearted. She gave him her heart and he broke it. After getting to know Commander Rabb she expected more from a Rabb. Sergei's actions just proved how different he was from his responsible brother. The brother who it seems willingly took up the role of the father and was determined make this baby know it's family and know that the family loved it.

She never needed a man, either to identify herself or to do something and she was proud of it. But she had to admit it was nice to have someone care for her and make sure she was doing okay. She knew if she were left to her own devices she would've closed herself off from the world and build even thicker and higher walls, but thankfully Harm's intervention prevented that.

For a time she worried that she and the baby would become an obssession of his or that he felt she needed a protector, but slowly and patiently he proved to her they are none of that. By seeing him interact with Sergei and the way he talked about his family, it was clear to her that family meant everything to him. And she felt honored to be included in his family and grateful, because she knew she would have support and help available if she wanted it.

From what she heard, pregnancy and parenthood is tough even with a partner, but alone and with a career is made that much tougher.

She was glad she had his support and help and that he came with her today.

But there is no way she was going to let him know that and she sure as wasn't going to make it easy on him. Because if she wanted to keep up her Ice Queen act (and she was starting to suspect he already broke through it) she would have to hide what his help and support meant to her.

For the first time in her life someone unconditionally and without some secret agenda wanted to help, support and spend time with her.

And she just didn't know how to handle it.

True to her word (or thought) Loren did indeed drag him everywhere in the mall a man wouldn't want to go voluntarily, unless he was forced to.

To warm him up she started with a flowers shop. After looking at all the flowers for half and hour she decided to first finish her other shoppings and only then return for the flowers she reserved. Meaning, Harm would return for the flower while she was taking a break at one of the food courts.

This first taste of shopping with Loren gave Harm only an inkling into the fate that awaited him. It occured to him that his swim in the Atlantic was a walk in the park compared to shopping with a woman.

The next stop was the first circles of hell: shoes stores.

Since they weren't THAT close, Harm didn't have to give his opinion on neither of the hundreds of shoes she tried on.

When they first entered the store Harm barely suppressed the scream of terror that was clawing it's way out of his throat. Rows and rows of shelves, all filled to the overflowing with women shoes. All sizes, all colours, every possible style. And they were all women shoes.

It was a male's nightmare. The kind of nightmare that has you wake up screaming, shaking from fear, buckets of sweat flowing down your body.

Harm was a brave man. He had faced death many times. He was ice cool in dog fights and fire fights, he could present his case in court without even blinking, he loved flight training when he could take his Tomcat though narrow and twisted canyons where even the smallest mistake meant he would've been splattered on a rock wall.

But this store inspired true terror in him.

When he was still a boy his mother regularily took him with her when she went to go shopping. He learned to hate and dread going with her mother when she decided to buy new shoes.

Cruel truth is, women have the ability to shop for shoes (and clothes) for hours without a break. Oh, cruel world!

Sure, his status as kind-of-brother-in-law gave him the reprieve from having to give comments on shoes (if she later didn't like those shoes, guess who would've been blamed...), but that didn't mean he could've just taken a seat with other guys who were there with either wives, girlfriends, daughters or mothers.

No, because Loren was pregnant, which meant she shouldn't spend too much time on her feet, it meant that he would be the one to fetch new shoes for her to try on and decide whether she liked them or not.

Loren made a bee-line for the row of shoes closest to her. Harm trudged after her, after sending a longing look at the row of chairs lining the wall, taken up by other suffering victims.

The guys sitting there noticed his direction and quickly realized Harm's fate, sending him wordless signs of encouragement, support and compassion. Most of them were at one point in his shoes and they could understand and commiserate with him.

And so it began.

Loren started looking at high heeled shoes, deliberately searching out the sexiest ones. Which puzzled Harm since he knew that in her condition high heeled shoes are not the most comfortable.

She of course knew that, but just wanted to see Harm squirm. Which he did when she tried them on. She always knew her legs looked amazing in high heels and Harm was an alive, heterosexual male. She also was the type of woman who didn't gain much weight and mostly kept her figure during her pregnancy. She was only at the end of her 4th month and because she kept herself in shape, she knew that she still had a great figure, along with her breasts becoming larger and fuller as a result of the pregnancy, making her even more attractive. The pregnancy went into her belly and breasts and not hips or thighs as with some women. It also gave her a healthy glow. Rosy cheeks and vibrantly blonde, lush hair, along with shining eyes completed the image. Motherhood was very good to her.

She knew she was over-doing on the make-Harm-squirm area, but couldn't stop herself. At the back of her mind a thought occured that she wanted a confirmation whether she still looked attractive even she was pregnant and the easiest and the most sincere confirmation would come from Harm. Other guys would all probably have some agenda, while she knew Harm well enough to judge his body language.

She put the shoes on and walked a few meters away from him, stopping and spinning around.

And then she shocked him by asking him of his opinion.

"So, how do I look?"

The question was deliberately phrased that way and she immediately received an answer. Though not verbal, his automatic answer flashed across his eyes and face, making her grin inside. She still had it!

"Well they look good, but the colour is wrong."

She put her hands on her hips and looked down at her shoes. She grimaced on the inside, the thought of eventually becoming so big that she won't be able to see her feet not very appealing. An idle thought crossed her mind: how will she shave her legs?

Clearing her head of her mental distractions she returned to the chair provided and took off the shoes, giving them to Harm for him to put them back on the shelf.

Then she looked around and pointed at another pair of the same model, but in black.

"What do you think, would those look good?"

Harm followed her finger and saw the one she was looking at. He nodded approvingly. "Yeah, those look good" He took them off the shelf and handed them to her.

She tried them on, walked around in them a little and looked at him. Both exchanged satisfied grins.

She put her own back on, Harm grabbed a box with new shoes and on they went.

Both were also aware that something basic changed between them. They were friends now.

When Loren asked him what he thought of the shoes he was shocked. The meaning of her gesture was clear. She cared about his opinion on such a silly thing as shoes. Which meant she cared about his opinion. That sign of trust coming from a reserved, closed-off, independent woman meant a lot to Harm. He wanted her to trust him, they were bound by blood and were going to be in each other's lives, in one form or another, for the rest of their lives through the baby. And these upcoming years could get pretty uncomfortable if there would be no friendship and trust.

He also wanted her to trust him because he wanted to help raise her baby. If she didn't trust him, how could he then get to take his niece/nephrew somewhere to spend time together, he wouldn't even get to babysit the little Navy brat. He smiled, well the acting father is Navy and the mother is Navy, that would make the child a Navy brat. The kid will probably be singing "Anchors Aweigh" before it's 3 years old.

He was already thinking about how nice it would be to take the child with him to Andrews AFB and show the planes, runway, the base to it.

He didn't even think of the possibility that by then he would have a family of his own, or that Loren might get married to someone in the years to come.

During the time Loren's been trying out new shoes a suspicion began to rise in Harm's mind. A suspicion of a truth so terrible and so awful that it would send into shock the whole humanity.

Loren was paying him back for him inviting himself on her trip to the mall.

After all, the most effective weapon a woman has against a man is her, so called, 'feminine wiles'. And a certain Navy Lieutenant sure knew how to use them.

Harm was thankful that she wasn't the kind of woman to use sex and her wiles to get what she wanted. Loren Singer may have been an aggressive, compromiseless, single-minded, calculating woman, but she never sank to the lows to use sex and her body to rise up the ranks.

She was aggressive, ruthless, extremely motivated and focused on one goal, but she was also hell bent on succeeding only due to her skills as a lawyer and not any other way. And for that Harm had to give her credit.

And he also knew that with more experience and some guidance she could become a very dangerous opponent in the courtroom, beating Mac and endangering his status as the Navy's best lawyer.

And now this incredible potential was used to make him pay!

Harm briefly shivered in fear at the possibilities of all that he may have to go through today.

But he knew he wouldn't do it any other way even if he could. He knew that Loren had no one to turn to, no one to help her. She was a loner at JAG, no close friends at her work place and from what he saw during the last few months, she left very few people into her private life. Sergei was one of those few people, but he blew it and did exactly what she trusted him not to - he hurt her. Harm was grateful that she didn't close off completely because of this and that she risked being hurt again by letting him be a friend, someone to help and support her in this time of extreme changes.

But Harm was determined not to fail her, not to betray the trust that she bestowed upon him. He wasn't good with words and talking about feelings, but he knew how to express things without words. Thus he showed her that he was there and would stay there, no matter what. He knew it could create problems at work, but to him family was always more important than mere job and he could always find a civilian position. He received a couple of offers from law firms all over the country every month and due to his expertise in Maritime Law, he was wanted by different echelons of the government and of the private sector. Last, but not least, Frank still kept offering him a job at Daimler-Chrysler everytime he visited.

If someone in the military had a problem with him being so involved in the life and family of an officer in the same chain of command and the push became a shove, Harm still had many possibilities for work outside the military.

Family had priority. Over anything else.

Anything.

The remainder of the time spent in the shoe store (and in the next two) just flew by them, they were having so much fun. Loren even forgot about her intention of making Harm pay for going with her on his own.

They fell into a routine. Loren found a chair with a good view of the shelves to rest and look for shoes still sitting, while Harm went to fetch them and help her with putting them on.

Tiredness was beginning to show in Loren's slow movements, but she wasn't willing to go home yet.

Funny thing, even though they were not related and Loren visited his apartment and Sergei many times, Harm still didn't know where she lived. He decided that if she wanted him to know she would've told him or shown him by now. He could've found out her address from her file, but he respected her privacy and so he waited until she was ready for him to know.

But because she was tired and not willing to go yet, Harm had to help her at times.

Being pregnant and tired also meant she had trouble putting the new shoes on. At the start of their shopping spree she managed the task herself with only little trouble, but not she couldn't anymore. And that's where he came in.

Loren sat in the seat provided and pointed out the shoes she liked. He went, took them off the shelf, brought them to her and help her put them on. As time went on he also had to help her out of the seat.

Loren was aware of the increasingly worried looks Harm kept sending her as time progressed. He finally had enough keeping silent and had to do something before she exhausted herself.

"Loren, I think we should either leave now or take a break. You're exhausted, I can see it and going on won't do any good. The strain also can't be good for the baby." he was worried about her and about the baby. He was no doctor, nor had he ever had any real experience with pregnancy and pregnant women (Harriet didn't really count because he wasn't that close to her and she was also married), but he was pretty sure that exhaustion wasn't good for neither the mother nor the baby.

Loren looked at him, saw the sincerity, the worry in his eyes and gave up. She was pretty tired and she still had things to buy. No use tiring herself out now. Plus, it would be quite humiliating if Harm had to carry her to the car through the entire mall.

She conceded and let him put the shoes, she decided not to buy, back on the shelf.

"I know, you're right. Let me just pay for these I want and then we'll go find a food court, get something to eat and rest a while. I still have to buy a few things, but I promise it won't take long."

She tried to lever herself out of the chair, but found she couldn't. She was just about to ask Harm for help when a hand appeared in her field of vision, prompting her to take hold of it.

Sending him a grateful smile Loren took hold of Harm's hand and let him pull her to her feet. While she went to the register to pay Harm gathered up the two bags of shoes she bought in the previous stores and followed her.

Unbelievably, a few people in the line noticed Loren's tiredness and her pregnant belly and let her to the front of the line.

Harm was standing by while Loren was paying and quickly grabbed the bag when she was done. While she was irritated that he treated her like some china doll, she also knew that it was better if he carried the bags while she concentrated her remaining energy reserves into getting to the nearest food court.

Upon getting there they managed to find a table, with some privacy provided by the nearby fake trees and plants planted in the concrete tubs.

Harm quickly put down the purchases and pulled out the chair Loren made her way to. Her irritation at his white glove treatment showed on her face, but a lifetime of being taught to be a gentleman could not be thwarted.

When she was seated he asked her.

"Since I know you still have plans I'll just get these in the car. Before I go, what can I get you to eat or drink?"

Loren thought hard for a few seconds and then seemed to have made a decision.

"Harm, we both know I won't be able to get all these bags to my apartment on my own. I would be very grateful if you would do me this big favor of getting them into my apartment. Just put them in your car and you'll follow me to my home."

Harm gently touched her forearm and his eyes betrayed how touched he was at her decision to let him in. She could've just had him put the bags in her car and then wait for the next day, when she was rested, to get them into her apartment. But she was letting him in, allowing him to help her, even though she could've done it without his help and that meant a lot to him.

Loren saw the emotions flick across his face and knew her message had been received, understood and her decision very appreciated, which made her glad she took the risk.

To ease the emotional tension, she quickly continued.

"Please bring me a glass of milk from the food court." at his puzzled look she explained "I've started drinking it because of the baby. And a piece of chocolate cake would also be great."

Harm smiled "No problem, I'll be right back."

A few minutes later he was back with the food. After he carefully set it down and made sure she didn't need anything else, he grabbed the bags and headed for his car.

'Why couldn't Sergei have been more like him?' she thought, looking after the man who dedicated himself to making her life easier. For no other reason because she was family.

Family.

She had never had that.

Definitely not anything like the family she would now have. Relatives that care about her and would always be there for her and her child. Harm already promised her that he would take her to meet Grandma Sarah, if she wanted. Even Harm's mother Trish Burnett called soon after she told Harm, offering her help and assistance with the baby once it arrived. She even offered her the use of their house in the Bahamas if she needed to take a vacation. Loren had to promise to call if she needed something, especially some time alone without the baby if she needs a rest and needs someone to look after it. Loren thanked her for the offers, but knew she probably won't take Trish up on them. Even so, Trish, her kind-of-mother-in-law, was already proving to be a better mother to her than her own ever was.

Perhaps the rest of her life won't be so bad after all...

"You have a wonderful husband there, dearie." she was almost finished with her milk and cake when a voice broke her out of her thoughts quite abruptly.

Shocked at the statment Loren looked to her right, seeing an older woman sitting there, with a kind and warm smile on her face.

Too stunned at someone assuming Harm is her husband she could only manage. "Thank you."

Only after the words left her mouth did she realize that she actually said that Harm is her husband. She inwardly groaned, but it was too late to take it back. It was even a little flattering for her to know that people thought that she could have a man like Harm fall in love with and marry her.

The white haired lady laid a hand on Loren's arm and said earnestly. "Men like him are rear and more precious than diamonds. Don't let go of him."

Loren looked into the woman's eyes and saw the truth there.

The old lady suddenly turned her head towards the line and imparted one more advice.

"52 years ago someone gave me the same advice and I took it seriously. It's been 52 years a few months ago and I still think it's the best decision I have made in my life." Loren's gaze was drawn to the wedding ring on the woman's hand just as a bald man with a commanding presence stopped beside them. Loren had the feeling that he was once military.

"Ready to go, honey" with a loving smile he extended a hand to his wife. She took it and he helped her to her feet. Then he noticed Loren and greeted with a nod. "Lieutenant."

For the second time in just a few minutes Loren was shocked. She was sure she never met this man before and not only did he know she was military, but he also knew her rank.

"Sir. How?"

The man smiled a smile, similar to the one Harm had. Somehow she had a feeling that the gentleman was once a pilot. "You are of the right age and I can sense a Navy member on a thousand yards. Retired Admiral John Spruance at your service."

Polite goodbyes were exchanged among the three, along with wishes to meet again someday and the couple was just about to move off when Harm came onto the scene.

Loren smiled, thinking of the surprise that was waiting for him.

The Admiral (ret.) saw the new arrival and wanted to surprise the young man also. "Commander."

Harm, with a poker face on, didn't even flinch or show surprise, only nodded respectfully and shook the offered hand. "Admiral, sir."

This time it was the Admiral's turn to be surprised. "How did you know?"

Finally Harm let the poker face slip and let his smile come out. "9th generation Navy, sir, I can sense a fellow Navy man a mile away." Then something occured to him and he said "We may not make history..."

"... but we make damn good movies." finished the Admiral, with a friendly smile on his face. "You're a Naval Aviator also and a fighter pilot at that."

"Yes, sir. F-14 Tomcat. 3rd generation Naval Aviator. Commander Harmon Rabb Jr."

The Admiral's face showed pleased surprised upon hearing the name.

"Any chance of being related to a David Rabb? He was my wingman on "The Lucky Y"." the Admiral grimaced at the nickname his former ship, the USS Yorktown (CV-10), had.

"He was my grandfather, sir." Harm couldn't believe it. He met his grandfather's old wingman in a mall!

"Call me John, Harm."

"Yes, sir... I mean, John."

Loren just sat there, not being able to believe what was playing out before her very eyes. She also couldn't wrap her mind around Harm's family history. 9th generation Navy! She's been in the Navy for most of her adult life and never even met anyone who was 4th generation, much less 9th. That made Harm a member of one of the most visible Navy dynasties! Only the highest standards were expected of such families. What did she get herself into!?

The Admiral's wife just shook her head, chuckling. Leave it to her husband to meet his former's wingman's grandson at a food court during the rush hour!

"Oh, I apologize, I completely forgot. This is my wife Lauren." the irony of the name wasn't lost on Loren, who was believed to be Harm's wife. But Harm didn't know that little fact.

Next to her Lauren Spruance had to grin. She too had caught the irony of both men being officers and Naval Aviators, having also a bond through another man, being married to women with so similar names. But Lauren didn't know that Harm and Loren weren't married, because Loren didn't have the opportunity yet to clear the mess up.

When Harm turned to her, Loren knew that the mess she caused will soon be revealed. It didn't matter that she was too stunned to correct Lauren's mistakes on her and Harm being married and that later the events moved too fast to do it.

Harm smiled and started the introductions "And this is Loren..." the rest of the introduction, which explained that she was his friend (and thus not his wife), was drowned out by the PA asking someone to move their car.

Just then John looked at the watch and scowled.

"I'm truly sorry for having to cut this short, but we have to get a move on if we want to make it somewhat on time. We have a dinner with old friends of ours and we will be a little late as it is. But we have to get together soon and continue this. Here, I'll give you my number and we'll arrange a time."

Harm and John exchanged their telephone numbers and the Spruances were ready to leave.

"I look forward to talking to you and your wife again soon, Harm. Take care and fly safe."

Harm looked puzzled, but managed a farewell. He looked after the older couple as they were moving away and turned to Loren.

"Wife?"

Loren knew she would have to explain, but admitting that it was her fault wasn't something she looked forward to. So she decided on a tactic she knew that would be believable.

She looked at him with narrowed eyes. "Well, what would you assume of a man and a woman, of approximately the same age, visibly not blood-relatives and the woman pregnant?"

With that she got up and walked off in a huff.

Harm just looked after her bemused, thinking that she must be quite refreshed from her rest. Because she seemed full of energy, stomping off like that. With that he realized that he was just standing there and hurried off after her.

Harm walked along quietly, not wanting to upset her and end up in the ER.

Loren must've regained her intention of embarrassing him since she headed directly for the Victoria's Secret shop.

Harm gulped and decided it best to wait for out her, but was thwarted in his plans by a small, yet strong hand that gripped his own and whose owner dragged him behind her into the shop.

Harm was by no means a prude, but that didn't mean he was comfortable entering such a shop with anyone other than the woman he was involved with.

She flew by all the sexy, silk and lace undergarments and headed directly for the maternity department.

Harm, still connected to her by their hands, had no other choice but to follow her. He was sure that he heard a couple of salesgirls and customers snicker as they passed them.

All he needed now was to have some of his old pilot buddies see him.

But someone else witnessed the events unfolding. Large brown eyes of a beautiful olive-skinned brunette narrowed in anger and jealousy at the sight before her.

But she jumped to the wrong conclusions, because things were not as they seemed to her.

Harm was pretty sure he was blushing as he was standing next to Loren who was looking for the sexies pieces of maternity underwear she could find, hold it against her to see if it would fit, putting it to the side to later try it on. All through this, Harm noted with amusement, she was sticking the end of her tongue through her lips which was, as Harm recently learned, a sign that she was concentrating fiercely.

It still amused him greatly, but due to safety concerns he decided it was better not to laugh.

But then she finished browsing and decided to try her selection on.

She grabbed assorter lacy bras and panties and some other things (Harm was sure one was a black teddy, made for pregnant women) and headed for the changing rooms.

(AN: I don't have a clue about maternity underwear and such, so I'm going on my speculation that such teddies exist.)

Harm sincerely hoped she wasn't going to call him to give his opinion. Evaluating shoes is one thing, but deliberately looking at the woman, who was pregnant with his brother's baby, half naked and only having on some underwear made to be sexy, was a very unsettling thought to him. It would've been wrong on sooooooo many levels.

Just as he was thanking his fortunes a voice floated to him from inside a certain changing room.

"Harm? Could you come here for a while?"

Harm's head whipped around so fast he almost broke his neck as he looked at the changing room's door in horror. In terror he whispered weakly "No."

'Shit. I'm so screwed. Oh, dear Cholak, why are you so cruel to me?' As he realized what he just thought he groaned 'Damn, I've spent too much time with Bud watching Farscape. Now I'm praying to the Sebacean god.'

He came out of his musing as the slightly pissed off voice of a certain blonde pregnant woman sounded again. "Harm where are you?" The mood swings were visiting them again and he wasn't a happy camper.

He recognized that tone of voice. It meant that he would soon become intimately acquainted with the deeper circles of Hell if he didn't do as she said.

He hurried to her location and, standing just outside the door, inquired "Yes, Loren?" while praying it wasn't what he thought it was.

"I need your opinion." came the slightly nicer voice.

"On what?" he dreaded what would come next, because he knew what to expect.

"Just come in, please" okay, that 'please' made him curious. After all, if she said 'please' it won't be that bad. Probaby she just needed his help with getting her shoes off or something.

'Yeah, Rabb, you just keep telling yourself and maybe one day you'll believe it!'

Cautiously he grabbed the doorknob and turned it as if it would bite him.

Nothing happened, except for a little shock of static electricity and he entered the small room.

A salesgirl who was coincidentally just looking in that direction raised her eyebrow. At the sight of the tall handsome man entering the room in which the smaller blonde woman was, presumably only in her underwear, the angry brown eyed brunette, who knew both, especially the man, hissed and left the store angry.

Harm entered the room with fear in his heart and his eyes closed.

At Loren's mild "Harm, open your eyes" he did just that and his jaw fell open in shock.

Instead of seeing the expected sight of Loren only in the new underwear he saw Loren completely dressed and smirking smugly. "Gotcha!" she said with immense satisfaction.

Harm was flooded with relief and, he was surprised to discover, a bit of disappointment 'Where did that come from? I don't see her that way and, besides, she's pregnant with another man's baby!'

Harm's eyes were filled with mock anger and he wagged a finger at her.

Loren's eyes sparkled with mirth, so Harm couldn't really hold it against her.

"Let this be a lesson to you. If, in the future, I want you to come somewhere with me, I will ask you. But if I don't ask, you had better ask me BEFORE you just show up." her eyes softened with the next words "I don't need your help for everything, Harm, I am perfectly capable of doing things by myself."

Harm nodded miserably, knowing that she is closing him out of her and her baby's life.

She guessed what he was thinking and hastened to explain. She didn't want him to get the wrong idea, she was grateful his support, she never had anyone stand by her so unconditionally.

"I'm not shutting you out, Harm, but I need to establish some boundaries. My life has been so stressful and full of changes these past few months that I don't need you to cause me additional stress. You've been an amazing help and I really appreciate that, but I have to do things by myself. I've always been independent and I don't want to lose that."

Harm nodded, undestanding what she wanted to say, since he was the same way. "I understand what you're trying to say, Loren, but please let me explain."

He waited for her nod of acknowldgement and then cautiously put his hand on her swollen belly.

"This here is the last of the Rabb line. I have no more other blood relatives than this baby, Grandma Sarah, my mother and Sergei. We Rabbs were once a huge and proud family. Six people, counting in you also, since you are the mother of the last Rabb, is all that's left of a once-large family. I don't see any possibility of me having children any time soon" he smiled a sad and self-depricating smile at that and Loren felt compassion for this man who so obviously wanted a family of his own "and Sergei was disowned due to his actions," they both grimaced at the sound of that irresponsible man's name "so even if he has any further children they won't be recognized as Rabbs. I know it sounds cruel and unwise due to us being so few left, but what he did can not be tolerated. Family means everything to a Rabb and if you abandon your family, then you don't deserve to be a Rabb. But know this: I will be here for you for anything and everything, not because you are carrying this baby, but because during the last few months I have come to care for you and don't want you becoming sick or hurt yourself by pushing yourself too hard. I know I can be annoying, but I just want what's best for you and if making sure you don't put yourself into a hospital will make you angry at me, is a small price to pay. You are independent, but never forget that you'll always have me if you need me. Just say a word and I'll be there."

He patted her belly very gently once and that dropped his hand to his side.

Loren's eyes filled with tears, so touched she was by what he said. No one had ever said something as beautiful as this to her.

She never had someone support her and stand by her side so fully, expecting and demanding nothing back for it.

A tear escaped and she sniffed.

"That was the most beautiful thing I have ever heard. You have no idea what this means to me, Harm. Thank you." she was getting quite emotional and Harm had a feeling what was to come next "And now you've made me cry."

And true to her words large tears started slipping from her blue orbs, with increasing speed and frequency.

Harm couldn't stand there, do nothing and just watch as she cried her eyes out. He reached out, his long, strong arms going around her, guiding her into his chest.

To his surprise she slipped her own arms around his waist, buried her face in his shoulder and cried.

Through the tears he heard her curse the hormones that caused her to cry. They've been messing with her, but usually just caused sudden anger, not tears. The tears were new.

After a few minutes she managed to calm down and she let go of Harm, embarrassed when she noticed how thoroughly she soaked his T-shirt with her tears.

She looked down at the ground, too embarrassed to look him in the eyes.

"I... I'm sorry. I didn't meant to do that. I'll wash the shirt for you."

Harm laughed softly, causing her to snap her head up, thinking he was making fun of her, but calming when she saw the the tenderness in his eyes that shocked her to her soul.

"Don't worry, tears don't stain." he said gently.

Overwhelmed by everything she was feelings and seeing, she impulsively hugged him. He stiffened in surprise, but relaxed, while she remained stiff, realizing too late what she just did.

Just as they were about to part Harm felt a pain in his stomach.

He looked down and stopped at the expression on Loren's face. It was full of wonder and surprise.

"What is it?" he asked anxiously, his pain forgotten already.

"The baby!"

"What? What's wrong with the baby?" he was getting really worried.

Then her eyes came back into focus and zeroed in on his face, making him squirm from the sheer intensity of her stare.

"The baby kicked!"

The worried look on Harm's face quickly turned into a joyous and a huge smile spread across his face. "Really?"

"Ye... Uff!" she swiftly snatched his hand and splayed it over her stomach, where he immediately felt the baby kick against it.

His wide eyes met her filled with tears ones and he whispered.

"Does it hurt?"

"Only a little. She is inside me, you know and when she hits or kicks in any direction it hurts."

"She?"

"I have a feeling. When I went to the check-ups I told the doctor I didn't want to know. Now I'm thinking I would like her to tell me if it's really a girl."

Harm smiled "Funny thing, that, because I also have the feeling that it's a girl."

"Well, at least she still got some space in there, later it will be a lot crowded."

Loren raised her eyebrow with an angry expression and asked coolly, not realizing they were still holding each other. "Are you saying I'm fat?"

Harm was startled by her question and hastened to explain. "No, no... of course not! You're definitely not fat, actually quite the opposite, you're very slim and attractive.." he quickly stopped when he noticed he was babbling and getting himself deeper into trouble.

Loren smiled, proud of her accomplisment of making the great Harmon Rabb so flustered that he actually babbled. Still, she felt flattered at the compliments he bestowed on her in his attempt of getting the hell out of the mine field she put him into intentionally.

She knew that the only reason she had any kind of advantage over him today was because she kept keeping him off-balance non-stop. She also knew that very soon he will learn how to counter-measure her attempts and nothing will shake him up again and she will be the one babbling. Loren sighed, already feeling the loss of such a great opportunity to tease him. Very soon it would be him teasing her.

Suddenly they noticed their position and proximity and a feeling of awkwardness set in.

They released each other as if burned, looking at anywhere but the other.

Finally, after a few seconds, Harm cleared his throat and gestured over his shoulder with his thumb.

"I'll... uh.. I'll just go wait outside. You, you come out whenever you're finished."

Loren was horrified to discover she was blushing. "Yeah. I won't be long."

Harm looked at her and only said "Yeah..." then turned and left the small room, leaving Loren to let out the breath she didn't realize she was holding in.

As Harm closed the door behind him and turned around, he noticed a salesgirl looking at him.

The salesgirl looked him up and down with a measuring look, searching for any indication of him and Loren having had sex in the changing room. But when she noticed the large wet patch on his T-shirt, she realized what was going on after having been pregnant herself and having had to deal with hormones and mood swings, and just looked him in the eye, nodded approvingly and returned to her work. She believed he went into the changing room to comfort his wife, who was hit by mood swings. 'What a great guy, he risked being thrown out just to comfort her.'

What she didn't know was that she wasn't completely correct. Aside from Loren not being Harm's wife, Harm went in there only because Loren wanted to get her message through.

Harm found himself a spot, not too close to the changing rooms to look like some pervert, nor too far not to hear Loren if she needed his help, for real this time and try to avoid looking at all the sexy garments surrounding him.

He knew if he payed attention to them he would just start imagining, again, how Mac would look like in them. And without them. Damn, too late. There was Mac and hello... there was a bra with really small cups barely holding anything from bursting out and there were the panties emphasizing her long, shapely legs. But this time there was also the image of Loren, in those frilly and lacy things she took with her into the changing room, but that image was quickly beaten down. He was already off-kilter around her today, he didn't need aditional help in remaining in that state. He was also feeling a little disturbed because until now he had never been attracted to a pregnant woman. Ever.

'I guess it's right what they say: if you spend enough time with a single member of the opposite sex, things won't remain platonic for long. Yes, that's it. I'm just this way because I've been single for too long and all the time Loren and I have spent in each other's company during the last few months, especially since Sergei took the cowardly and irresponsible way out. There's no other reason.'

About 10 minutes later Loren came out of the cubicle with her selections, deposited a few back on the racks and took the rest to the register to pay for them. Harm stood by, ready to grab the bags when they were ready.

And on they went.

The next store wasn't that fear inspiring.

It was a baby store. Full of cute little clothes (Harm would deny it if anyone had ever accused him of using the word 'cute' even in his thoughts), toys, maternity clothes, furniture and other paraphernalia needed to take care of the baby. As a bachelor Harm had no clue what half the things, dedicated to mothers, was for.

He was just walking along, following Loren who seemed to know what she was doing, minding his own business, when she stopped and asked him to get something from a shelf a few dozen yards away.

Harm strolled to the shelf and reached out to grab the first box, which coincidentally was turned so that the label was not visible. As he was reaching for it he asked Loren "What is it?"

A saleslady who was lurking nearby quickly answered "It's a breast pump, sir."

The wheels in his head were turning at Mach 1 and he knew he'd been had by Loren again. But this time it will backfire on her. He quickly formed a plan and carried on with the dumb act.

"A breast pump is to..."

"To pump breast milk from the breasts of a lactating mother." supplied the saleslady helpfully who was fully enjoying embarrassing the hell of a clueless man. "Would you like an illustration of how it is used, sir?" she querried, banding with another woman, Loren, in the quest of making fun of a man.

But Harm was prepared for that question. He nonchalantly took the box and added it to other things in their trolley, turned towards both Loren, the saleslady and several other women who were listening in, snickering and drawled. "Not needed, Ma'am, thank you. I'm sure my lovely wife will be willing to show it to me tonight when we get back home." With that he turned around and started pushing the trolley towards the Toys section, leaving behind several women with wide eyes and gaping mouths, not believing that their easy target turned into the victor. The gazes of other women turned towards Loren, who was blushing deep red and quickly hurried after Harm. The women were envious at the thought that Loren had such a hunky husband.

Loren caught up to Harm, angry at him for spoiling her fun and embarrassing her. But she had to admit that she deserved it, especially since she promised him no more attempts of trying to embarrass him. She was also embarrassed at the fact that he said she was his wife and said out loud that she would be giving him a demonstration of the use of a breast pump later that night. His meaning on the timing of her little 'demonstration' was hinted as the time they were making love. She was angry at him for not being embarrassed himself, while she was embarrassed, him lying that they were married and at herself for coming up with the stupid idea of trying to pull another prank on him. That will teach her not to try it again!

She walked beside him as they browsed through the Toys section and he quickly glanced her way and remarked "That wasn't very nice of you, Loren. You've made a promise. If you try again something in the future, just remember one little fact: I was crowned Master Prankster in both High School and the Academy. I may not return the favor immediately, but I always do eventually."

Loren received the message loud and clear and felt suitably chastised. "No more pranks" she vowed "and this time I mean it."

Harm looked at her with a smirk on his face "Good. Now what's our next destination?"

Loren blushed "I have to go to the ladies room. You just wait here and then we'll go on."

Harm looked around "Okay, I'll just see if they have anything interesting here."

Harm watched, smiling at the speed with which Loren moved towards the ladies room and started to look for toys for the baby, even though the baby wasn't due for months.

When Loren returned from emptying her abused bladder she looked around, searching for Harm.

She finally located him. He was standing near a shelf with fluffy toys, talking to a woman, the bags with her stuff propped on his leg. A tall, gorgeous woman, who was standing very close to him. Loren's eyes narrowed and a primal instinct awakened. She wanted to beat up the other woman and claim Harm and mark him, strangely enough, with a hickey. She was sure he wouldn't have appreciated this course of action though. What she didn't know was, was that he wasn't appreciating the woman's attentions at all and was feeling pretty uncomfortable with her attentions.

But then Loren thought of the way she felt and what crossed her mind. Claim Harm? Mark him as hers? It was probably some fail-safe device natured created in pregnant females or a side-effect of the maternal instinct, which was to make sure that the pregnant female had the added desire to keep her mate, or the closest approximation of, with her through all the stages of pregnancy and then the offspring's youth to help her and help with their offspring. Loren didn't know, Loren didn't care, but what Loren did know and care was that she had to go there right now and stop whatever was happening.

With a determined stride she walked over to them, practically pushing the woman aside and latching herself onto Harm's side, by wrapping her arm around his waist and thus forcing him to wrap his own arm around her shoulders. She sent him a sweet smile, which seemed to puzzle him.

With a loving expression she asked him "I hope I wasn't gone long. Did you find anything for the baby?" she caressed her swelling belly with her other hand.

Then she turned her gaze towards the interloper and her eyes turned into ice cold blue, as she regarded the woman with a territorial look that clearly transmitted her message "Back off, bitch, he's mine!"

Feeling her stiffen under his arm when she looked at the annoying brunette, Harm quickly caught on to what she was doing and went along with it gratefully.

"I was just going to send in Search And Rescue (SAR) to find you. Loren, I would like you to meet Cindy. Cindy, I would like you to meet my partner Loren." well, what he said was the complete truth. There are many kinds of partners and he did promise her to always be there for her and her baby. Then he slipped his hand down and caressed her belly where her child was growing. He felt Loren jump barely noticeably under his arm at his touch, but pretended he hadn't. The sooner they got rid of this woman the better.

Loren smiled an obviously fake smile and reached out to shake her hand, warning thinly hidden underneath the smile. "It's a pleasure. But unfortunately Harm and I must take our leave now, it's been a long day." With that she dragged Harm away and out of the store even before Cindy could return the greeting, only giving Harm the chance to pick up the bags he carried for her. Unknown to them, a man with two gold stars gleaming on his shoulders saw the whole thing.

Harm covertly glanced over his shoulder and sighed in relief when he noticed they were home free.

"Thanks for rescuing me from her, Loren. I really appreciate it."

A skeptical eyebrow was raised "Reeeeally? You two seemed quite cozy there."

Harm looked at her frowning. Was it just his imagination or was she really jealous? She sure seemed to act pretty possessive over him. In fact, she looked like she was about to scratch Cindy's eyes out. But he wasn't about to tell her that. His years of acquaintance with Mac had taught him better. Talking to Mac was like navigating a mine field many times over the years, but with a pregnant woman the situation was even more dire. Harm had heard that pregnancy hormones were once a successful defence during a trial for murder. And he didn't like the idea of being the next reason for such a trial.

Still he decided to be truthful "Definitely not. I didn't return her attentions, but she was either ignoring or not receiving my signals. Thank god you came before I had to become blunt. I wouldn't want to cause a scene. Thank you for that."

But Loren was not throught with the topic. "The nerve of that woman to go hitting on a man in a baby store! Didn't she think he is probably taken!?" Harm looked startled at her outburst. "Or did she even care that you are taken!? Especially when you were holding the bags from Victoria's Secret. She's the type that goes hitting on men who have babies with them, not caring that the baby has a mother."

By now Harm was really getting concerned for her. She seemed to go off on a rant that made her red in the face and drew attention from other shoppers in the vicinity. Harm grabbed her arm drew her into a side corridor.

Then he put down the bags and grabbed her shoulders with both his hands, leaning down so he could look into her eyes.

"Calm down, Loren. Getting upset isn't good for you nor for the baby. You know that high blood pressure can harm you both. Please, calm down."

Harm's words penetrated through the haze of her sudden anger and she made a visible effort to still her rage. When her heart beat slowed down she looked at him and nodded, telling him she was okay. He dropped his hands from her shoulders and stepped back.

"I'm okay. Sorry, women like that just piss me off. I may be ruthless when it comes to my job, but I'm not that much without morals to go hitting on men who are obviously in a relationships. I may be Lt. Witch, but I am still a woman who has principles and morals."

At Harm's startled look she smirked "Yeah, I know about Colonel Mackenzie's little pet name for me. Hmpf, Lt. Witch. At least she has imagination. But what's up with that? I mean, Neurotic Annie, Jordan the shrink, The Video Princess. Why does she have to give deregatory names to all women connected to you? Except for me. When she gave me the name I didn't even know about S.. about 'him' and had no connection to you. I'd say we were more opponents than the friends we are now."

Harm noticed she stopped herself before saying Sergei's name and it saddened him how much his own brother had hurt this woman. She may be a tough, at times unscrupulous woman when it came to achieving a professional goal; but on the inside she was a soft, lonely woman, who just wanted to be loved and cherished, like everyone else. Harm had a pretty good guess that she had had a hard life, had probably been disappointed many times by people she trusted and loved and Harm was ashamed that his own brother was one of those people. Well, not his brother anymore. With his actions Sergei had lost the right to count himself a member of their family.

"I don't know why Mac always does that, only she knows the reason. Or maybe not even she herself knows why. And I'm glad you think of us as friends. But, enough about that. I meant it when I thanked you for your help. I also dislike her type. Not only that, but I didn't appreciate nor return her attentions. But you were wrong about one thing. I'm not taken"

With that Harm turned around and swaggered down the corridor towards the exit of the mall. Loren stared at him, dumbfounded. She quickly replayed her little tirade in her head and realized that she did indeed claim he was taken. She didn't know why she said it, but narrowed her eyes at the thought of Harm's amusement at her slip.

But then she noticed how far ahead Harm had gotten and hurried after him.

True to their personalities, they argued over how Loren would get home. She insisted that she was fine and could drive herself home, but her stifled yawns hadn't escaped Harm's notice. There was no way he would let her drive herself home while being that tired.

In the end Loren had to give in. Harm was a force to be reckoned with when he set his mind to something and nothing could sway him.

And no one could ever sway his mind when it came to the safety of women, children and all people in need of help or protection. And a pregnant relative definitely had no chance of getting her own way if it meant doing that would put her and the baby at risk. Loren didn't stand a chance.

She had to concede and Harm helped her into the SUV, then hurried around and got in the driver's seat.

All in all, Harm's insistence on driving her home proved godsent since Loren fell asleep within five minutes after leaving the mall's parking lot. It was a good thing she gave him her address before falling asleep.

While he drove Harm glanced occasionally at her out of the corner of his eye. Her face was relaxed in sleep, making her seem much younger than her true age, removed from the stormy seas of her obviously troubled life.

After an hour's drive they finally arrived at her apartment in Georgetown.

Harm got out of the car and came around to Loren's side. Upon opening the door he was filled with a dilemma.

She obviously had trouble sleeping recently, if the dark circles under her eyes were anything to go by and she seemed to finally be getting some much needed rest. But she couldn't stay in his car for the rest of the night and she would've been able to rest better in her own bed.

He had two options: either wake her up or carry her all the way. The idea of searching her purse for the keys to her apartment was offending to him. A purse is a private thing and should never be looked through by anyone but it's owner.

So that meant he had to wake her up. He cupped her cheek in his palm and turned her face towards his own. Then he started calling her.

She stirred, opened her eyes and smiled a sleepy smile. Harm was entranced by what he saw in her baby blue eyes. Trust and happiness at seeing him. But he was interrupted in his stare by a sleepy "Hrrmmm?"

He chuckled. "Come one, wake up, we're here. You need to wake up if you want to get inside."

Loren's answer was a slow search through her purse which ended when she pulled out a set of keys. "Mdll"

Harm took the keys in one hand and furrowed his brow, trying to decipher the message. "Oh, you meant it's the middle key."

But he was talking to himself as Loren fell back into the world of slumber. Seeing he had no choice he gently slipped his arms under her knees and behind her back and hoisted her up. After carefully removing her from the car he shut the door with his foot and moved towards the building's entrance.

He quickly checked the mailboxes to find out the number of her floor and somehow managed to unlock the front door without waking her up or putting her down. He quickly headed towards the stairwell and started towards the 2nd floor.

He was a strong man and she was as light as a feather to him, even at 4 months pregnant. He was very thankful for that since he was no young man anymore and his back wouldn't like it if she were any heavier. As it was he already started feeling pain in his back from carrying her up the stairs.

On the way up he met her neighbor, a woman in her 70s. He nodded at her and the old lady frowned at them in disgust, walking stifly away. Harm had a feeling she definitely didn't represent the stereotype of a 'sweet little old lady'.

Finally he arrived at the apartment's door and unlocked it. It took him a few tries before he found Loren's bedroom and he put her down on the bed, covering her with a light blanket after removing her shoes. He was sure she wouldn't appreciate having her bed dirtied by them.

He quickly left the bedroom and went back down for her purchases.

After a few minutes he returned with all the bags and proceeded to put them on the living room table.

When he was almost finished he heart a noise from the doorway. Startled her whirled around only to discover Loren standing there, looking hesitant.

"Harm?" Loren's voice shook with uncertainty.

"Yes?" Harm looked at her curiously, wondering what could've made her that nervous. She was standing in the doorway to her bedroom, swathed in a bathrobe several sizes too big.

"Can I talk to you about something?"

"Sure, no problem"

She led the way to the couch in front of her TV and sat in the corner, curling her legs under her. Harm sat next to her, but far away enough to give her room and not to encroach her personal space. She was nervous enough as it was and he didn't want to make her even more with coming too close.

He waited for a few minutes while she gathered her thoughts and (unknown to him) courage to ask him what she was about to.

Finally she began.

"This baby won't have a father, for reason we both know," they grimaced simultaneously at the reason " but every child needs a father. It's a known fact that for a normal and healthy development a child needs both parents. The mother is important, but the father also..."

She was beginning to babble from nerves and Harm tentatively placed a hand on her forearm, calming her.

"It's okay, Loren, no need to be nervous, just ask me."

Suddenly tears started streaming down Loren's face and she cried out "But there is a need to be nervous. I don't even have the right to ask what I'm about to ask of you! And these damn hormones! I just suddenly start crying and I don't know why!"

Harm was feeling helpless and kind of foolish just sitting there, watching her cry, so he reached out tentative arms towards her and engulfed her in a stiff, hesitant embrace. Loren grabbed him and buried her face in his neck, crying even harder. He had never imagined he would ever be holding Loren in his arms while she cried, he hadn't even imagined holding her or becoming as close to her as he had over the past few months and especially today, but he couldn't just sit there and do nothing while she cried her eyes out. After a few minutes he relaxed and started murmuring nonsense words and rocking her. 15 minutes later the crying stopped and Loren pulled away, looking up into his face. His heart clenched at the vulnerable and trusting look on her face and he cupped her face with his hands and wiped away the tears.

She pulled away slightly do dislodge his hands, but close enough to remain in contact with his body. She needed strength to finish this and she would draw that strength from his presence.

"What I was meaning to ask you before I turned into a wreck" she snorted at that and Harm just smiled gently, amazed at the layers of this woman that just kept revealing "is: this baby won't have her biological father, but I wan't her to have a father still. I would like for you to be the acting father."

Harm just sat there, stunned at the request, shocked at the magnitude of her request, at the magnitude of the way she was letting him in, asking for him specifically. He was awed that she trusted him that much, that she wanted him to be involved that much. He already planned to be involved in this baby's life as much as he could, but with her request she opened the door fully, invited him fully into her child's and her life.

Loren continued while he was still ruminating over what he was being given.

"I know I don't have a right to ask you this. This would lower your chances of having your own family, since I can't imagine any worthy woman hitting on you when she sees that you have a child with you and perhaps me with you. But at the mall you said you would want to be involved, that we are family to you and I can't imagine a better father for my child."

She looked down at her help and forced the last words out, knowing she was taking an extremely big risk, but for her baby she would take it, because the potential reward was more than worth it. "For our child. If you want to."

She fell silent then, just wringing her hands in her lap, as much fearing the answer as hoping for it. Both possible answers at the same time terrified her as they filled her with hope and joy.

She also knew that she threw a big and sudden request at Harm and that he needed time to process it. She had no intention of just asking him something and then running before he could gather his thoughts enough to answer her. She despised people who used such hit-and-run tactics.

Suddenly two large hand appeared in her line of vision, engulfing her own in them, calming them. A hand then detached and raised towards her face. She was strangely fascinated with every detail of the skin, pores, hairs and creases. Finger tips were calloused, showing that the owner was very used to physical work as he was to intellectual. And index finger touched her chin and slowly raised her head to look at the owner of the hand.

Loren blinked, stunned herself as she had never seen him looking like that. His eyes were shining, a wet film covering them speaking of impending tears and a gently, if somewhat goofy smile on his lips. When he spoke his voice was a hoarse whisper.

"I would be honored, Loren. I would like nothing more than to be a father to your child. I am also honored that you think so highly of me and I will do anything and everything not to ever fail you and our child." she noticed his use of 'our' child and it brought tears to her eyes. But she knew that they were only talking about this child and that their relationship would remain the same, only closer, but still platonic. And she was fine with that. She wasn't ready for anything more, with anyone. She needed time to pick up the pieces of her heart and lick her wounds and she knew that with time and Harm's support and help she will be someday ready for another relationship with someone.

Whether or not that someone will be Harm remains to be seen. The simple fact that he not only ignored what he thought of her while she was still with Sergei and didn't try to get involved or break them up, but that he even wanted to help her raise her child spoke volumes of his character. Through the years of their working together Loren observed Harm, first out of intent on finding a weakness she could exploit and later out of sheer curiosity if the man was as honorable as he seemed. And she was astounded by the fact that he was truly the embodiement of honor, integrity and responsibility. Aside from his flaw of being like an elephant in the glasswares store when it came to romantic relationships, the man was as near to perfection as any man can be. Which irritated her because she just couldn't have a man that gave his everything to help someone who needed help. And it was no hero complex, which is what some people accused him of. It was just the fact that he was able to help, knew he was able to help and was willing to help. Nothing more.

But she had also noticed he had an extremely soft side when it came to children. Several times she had noticed a yearning in his eyes. A yearning that came to life the times he spent with children, like when he spent time with the Roberts children at social functions or when Lt. Sims brought AJ to visit. It was obvious he wanted children of his own. Harm was meant to be a father and she felt humbled that he wanted to be a father to her child. And she knew that her child with Harm as it's father could never do wrong.

But what had her restless was what she knew of Harm and his views on family. He would do everything for his family. But he was old fashioned and thus she also knew that to Harm family meant not only children, but also marriage and love. A formal declaration by a man and a woman to always love, support and be there for each other and to do the same for their children. How long would Harm take being a father to a child, but not offering them and himself the security a marriage and real family offered? Would he come to resent her and think she entrapped him? No, he wouldn't think she entrapped him, he made it clear before that he wanted to be fully involved in this child's life and would never abandon it. But what would that eternal state of limbo do to their friendship, shaky as it is? Would he expect them to formalize their agreement and get married, even though they weren't in love? What would happen if he met someone and wanted to start a family with that woman? Even though he said he had no expectations of having a family of his own she couldn't possibly imagine a fantastic catch like Harm being single for the rest of his life. She knew that Harm always keeps his promises, but what would practically having another family do to his own? She couldn't imagine any woman being willing to share him with another. She wanted to be selfish and to have him just to herself, by having him there for her child, which they now thought of 'their' child, but she knew those were his decisions to make. What she never expected was to have this decision taken out of both of their hands.

Meanwhile Harm was still in awe at the trust Loren placed in him. You only ask someone to help you raise your child only if you thought only the best of them, if you trust them completely and know you can rely on them, anytime, anyplace. And he felt honored and moved that Loren thought of him like that. He was going to make triply sure that she would never regret her decision and that her... their child will never know what it would mean to grow up without a father. The Rabb curse will stop. The last 3 generations of Rabbs have all grown up without ever knowing their fathers. His Great-grandfather died when Harm's grandfather David was only 4. David Rabb died before his own son, Harm's father Harmon Rabb Sr., was even born. Harm Sr. was shot down when Harm was just 6 years old. Even though Harm eventually got a male presence in his life, it was already too late and he was too old to make a difference, except make him angry at this intrudor. He still remembered his own father and the fact that Harm Sr. was MIA and not KIA made him feel like his mother betrayed his father by having him proclaimed dead so she could marry another man. Because he knew his own father, who was forcibly taken out of his life, he couldn't have accepted anyone else.

But he was determined to be the only father this child will ever know. And he would never abandon it, no matter what. Harm was already planning on sending Sergei to sign a document with which he will release all parental rights over to him. He was already thinking of it as his child and he loved it just as much already... They will really have to find out if it'll be a boy or a girl, because they can't keep thinking of the child and talking about the child as of IT.

But he wasn't so sure about his relationship with his child's mother. She was his brother's lover and is now the mother of the child he took as his. But what was their relationship?

Were they just partners in this lifelong enterprise? No, they were friends at least. Very good friends, if the last few months indicated anything. Harm knew he was old fashioned in his views of family. But what did she think of them? Would she be satisfied, or even happy, with them being just two friends raising a child together? Or would she expect them to formalize their 'agreement' and get married?

Contrary to what Mac had often accused him of, Harm was never commitmentphobic. He just didn't want to make a big commitment to a relationship he knew wouldn't last.

And none of his girlfriends were a good choice for marriage with him. Unfortunately he noticed only with time. Either they 'fell in love with the lawyer in him' as Jordie put it or they fell for the great looking, highly decorated Naval officer on their arm as was in Renee's case. None of them loved him for who he was, for the person underneath the uniform. Even Mac had expectations of him that he couldn't reach.

Perhaps that's why commitment to Loren didn't terrify him. It wasn't like they were in love, or had false impressions of each other. Over the past few months they came to know each other for who they really were. And it would only be a marriage in order to give this child the best environment possible to grow and mature in. True, it's parents may not be in love, but they did love each other and they will definitely shower this child with love. A child offers the security of unconditional and pure love to it's parents and to two love-starved people it meant heaven.

The rest of the evening was spent with comfortable talk, drinking tea, just relaxing and getting to know each other better. If they were going to raise a person together they had to know each other.

Uncounsciously during their talk they moved closer together, offering and taking comfort and without conscious decision Harm's hand migrated to Loren's belly to feel their baby move, where it was covered by her own hand. Neither noticed this as they were too focused on their talk and their own thoughts.

After a few nice hours Harm excused himself and left for home. As Loren closed the door behind him after telling him goodbye she turned around and was suddenly hit by the emptiness of her apartment. After years of living alone and managing quite well on her own, she suddenly realized how nice it was to have someone to spend a quiet evening with and this realization made her loneliness even greater. Suddenly she wished Harm hadn't left.

Her apartment seemed too big, empty and cold. She shivered and drew her bathrobe even tighter around her body, but stiffened her spine and went to do her usual evening chores. She didn't need anyone, especially no man, she was completely fine on her own!

She ignored the little voice in her head that was laughing it's ass off at the last thought and started her shower.

Harm tried to ignore the feeling of loneliness that seemed to envelop the interior of his car as he drove home. He spent a very nice evening with Loren, especially after the talk they had.

But it served to remind him how he missed being in a relationship with someone, spending quiet hours together, just being together and having the other's company be enough to make one happy.

He had a partial taste of that tonight and it made him want more. A lifetime of more. But he knew that chances of him having happiness like that were 1 in a million. While he and Mac had that baby deal he was sure it won't come to fruition. As friends they were compatible, but as something more they would've been a catastrophe. Too much water had passed under the bridge, too many ugly words had been said, too many other people stood between them, too many resentments were coloring even their friendship for them to ever have anything more than friendship that would last. And bringing another person into this would just be cruel to the child. It made Harm think of married couples who think they can save a failing and dying marriage by bringing children into them, but in the end only hurting the children with the divorce. He and Mac were just too different and had too many differences for it to end any other way.

'No' he thought 'I just have to give in to the fact that it's too late for me. I should've tried to have a relationship with Mac before I went back to flying, before she changed so much, before she started hating and resenting me. If we had started a relationship before then we would've made it to our 50th wedding anniversary with no problem. But now it's too late. Too late. And if the Navy wanted me to have a wife they would've issued me one.'

Little did he know what fate had in store for him.

The next day Harm picked up Loren early to drive her over to the mall so she could pick up her car. Their conversation en-route was light and comfortable.

Over the next few weeks Harm and Loren grew even closer. They've spent an extraordinary amount of time together, getting to know each other better, went to Loren's OB-GYN appointments together, where Loren shocked Harm by introducing him as the father to the doctor, they delighted together when they found out their intuition was correct in that Loren was carrying a girl, they've spent many a luch breaks together and went on long walks into the park together, sometimes even bringing along a picnic bag.

One of those talks touched the subject of their families. Loren already knew most of his family personally (from phone calls) and that gave her the incentive to finally reveal her past and the reason for her professional motivation to him. Her story proved Harm's theory that she had quite a hard life behind her.

"My parents were alcoholics, Harm. Both of them. They had badly paying jobs and hated their lives. They ran to alcohol for comfort and abandoned me. I was just a girl at 13 at the time when it became really bad. They were sorry excuses for parents and they left me to fend on my own most of the time, but contrary to Colonel Mackenzie I didn't become an alcoholic myself."

Harm interrupted her "How do you know about Mac?"

Loren just looked at him patiently and replied "I've lived most of my childhood around alcholics and because of that I can recognize one immediately. The sings were all there: she wound tighter than a spring, she keeps to herself, avoids everything with addictive properties,... There were many signs, but the most obvious is the one that she never orders anything else than a soda and that she is edgy when in company where people drink alcohol. She's a recovering alcoholic and I'm guessing that she fell off the wagon a few years back. You don't have to answer me, Harm, I respect that you won't break your promise about keeping it to yourself. I just wanted to explain to you why I know about her."

Harm nodded, glad that she understood.

"Anyway, seeing how they ended up fueled my determination not to end up like them. I've put everything I had into studying and finished High School with the very good grades. But I couldn't afford College and most of the scholarships went to athletes, so I had no other choice but to join the Navy.

I started at the bottom and fought damn hard to get the Navy's scholarship for Law School. After that was OCS, NJS until I finally became a full officer and a Navy lawyer. With all that accomplished I set myself a goal that will prove to everyone I am not like my parents and will not end up like them. I set my sights on becoming the first female JAG and nothing was going to stop me.

But something did. Even though we used double protection I got pregnant. As if I wasn't meant to become the JAG.

I thought I had everything. A great career and a good boyfriend. But what a jerk he turned out to be. No better than all the others."

This all just confirmed Harm's assumptions that Loren had been through a lot in her life and was hurt repeatedly by the people she trusted most and that is why she was so motivated in her job and never let anyone near. Everytime she let anyone close she just got hurt. And still she took the chance with him and let him be her friend. Harm vowed that he will never give her the reason to regret this decision.

At first Harm was hesitant about the decision of them spending lunch time together, as they could easily become food for the rumor mill. But the rumor mill was given new food at the news that Col. Mackenzie was seen on several occasions on dates with different men. What they didn't know was that Mac was so angry at what she saw at the mall that she decided to do something to get Harm's attention back to herself. She fell back on the tried and true tactic of trying to make Harm jealous, which had her suddenly dating alot. Because she didn't make an effort to find out the true circumstances she jumped to a wrong conclusion and assumed that he was involved with Loren when she saw them in Victoria's Secret shop. And due to her wrong assumption she used the wrong tactic, which just pushed Harm away from her. Instead of giving him the opportunity to talk to her about what's been going on in his life she kept giving him excuses about not having time cause she had a date, which was the cause why Harm eventually gave up. Which left her with a bad name at the office, alienated the man she wanted and left her with the wrong men.

She made these mistakes because she believed to have female competition. What she didn't anticipate was that her competition was as an unborn baby. And she had no chance of winning when she was playing on the wrong field.

But Harm and Loren's spent time together wasn't completely unnoticed. Which was revealed 4 weeks after their trip to the mall when they were called into the Admiral's office.

Actually, Harm was called by Tiner and asked to find Loren and bring her with him.

He soon found her and together they headed for the Admiral's lair, dreading the talk they would have with him. When the Admiral called you into his office it was usually a bad thing.

They entered his office on his command and stood at attention. The Admiral looked up, glanced at Loren's swollen belly, which was even more pronounced in that position and told them to sit down.

For a few minutes he just sat there, looking at them without saying anything. That was making them even more nervous than being yelled at, since it meant that it was a delicate situation and the Admiral was deciding on how to proceed.

Finally he decided to be blunt.

"Usually I don't interfere in the private lives of people under my command if it doesn't affect their on-duty performance, but I'm gonna make an exception here."

Harm and Loren glanced at each other, looked back at Cheggwidden and waited silently.

"Over the past few weeks I have noticed you two spending a lot of time together, as have other people. Influental people. I know the truth about the paternity of your baby, Lt. and I tried to explain things to them, but it was of no use."

Harm and Loren were filled with dread and visions of Court Martials were dancing before their eyes, taunting them.

"You have been observed by various members of higher echelons of the Navy during incriminating times. I have personally observed such an occasion a few weeks ago in a mall, on the children's department." Harm and Loren's eyes widened at the memory of how they've behaved and their faces flushed with guilt. Cheggwidden ignored them "What I've seen was unprofessional and not only suggested, but insisted, on a romantic relationship between you two. Especially that possessive behaviour you displayed, Lieutenant, towards the woman." Loren flushed even deeper shade of crimson at the memory of how she practically claimed Harm in front of that woman.

"There have been other occasions also. You were personally seen by the SecNav attending a doctor's checkup. Upon asking a nearby nurse, the SecNav found out that it was an OB/GYN and what a wonderful couple you two make... Needless to say the SecNav wasn't very thrilled. You have also been observed by various member of this staff and other people spending a lot of personal time together in locations and doing activities that speak of a romantic relationship between you two. You two are being a threat to the Navy's good name and thus I was asked to give you an ultimatum by the SecNav and the Joint Chiefs of Staff. As you are both visible members of the Navy, you especially Cmdr., things can not continue as they have until now."

"Your personal relationship can be detrimental to the Navy if it continues the way it has been. And you both know what that means." the unspoken threat was recongnized and understood.

"That is why you are being given the ultimatum. As I've said, I tried to explain to all involved that your situation is somewhat unusual, with the Cmdr. being your baby's uncle, Lt. and the biological father having skipped country, but they were not assuaged."

The Admiral rose from his chair, came in front of his desk and leaned against it.

"You have five options: 1. one of you resignes, 2. you are court martialled, 3. one or both of you are transferred elsewhere, to some distant posts never to see each other again, 4. you have a purely professional relationship and nothing more during all times, even off-duty and 5. you formalize whatever relationship you are having to make it all above board. Married couples who are expecting their first member of their family and the Navy's future recruit, are not only condoned by the Navy, but also valued."

Cheggwidden stopped to gauge their reactions. Complete and utter shock would've been the best way to describe how they looked. If the situation wasn't so serious, it would've been damn funny.

"Sir" piped up Loren "are you ordering us to choose between these options?"

Cheggwidden sighed and hung his head "Yes, that's what I'm saying, Lt. This decision was made by the SecNav and the Chiefs. And you can both thank the status of the Commander's family that you were even given a chance. Otherwise you would've been court martialled. This is one of those extremely rare times when it pays off to be a member of one of Navy's dynasties. There are few other perks. Normally you are just being measured by a much higher standard than others. Which is why I always had to be so tough on you, Commander, while I gave Colonel Mackenzie that much slack."

Harm always suspected that was the reason why he couldn't get away with anything while Mac got away with murder. And why she was promoted so soon after having fraternization, adultery, perjury, manslaughter (she still killed her husband even though it was self-defence) and an Admiral's Mast on her record. He would've been dishonorably discharged if not in Leavenworth a long time ago with these charges, much less been promoted ahead of time.

The Admiral continued wearily "You have the rest of the week to decide on your course of action. But I have to warn you. If you decide to brave Court Martial, you will be found guilty. There is enough evidence and you both know that fraternization cases are most often convicted on circumstancional evidence alone. Take the rest of the week off to decide on how to proceed. Dismissed."

Loren left the office, but Harm stayed behind. She sent him a questioning look when she noticed he was just standing there, but he shook his head. The Admiral noticed his presence.

"Yes, Commander?"

Harm started into his speech "Sir, I just wanted to talk to you about something." Cheggwidden indicated to Harm he should go on. "I'm all ears."

"I have my quals in 1 month and I have decided not to do them."

The Admiral was stunned at such an unexpected decision by his best lawyer. "You know what this means, right? Are you sure?"

Harm nodded determinedly. "It means I'm giving up my flight status. I've been thinking about this for the past several weeks and I am absolutely certain of my decision. It's something I want to do. Something I feel I need to do."

The Admiral gave him a penetrating look. "Very well. I will put the paperwork through. Dismissed."

Harm came to attention and left the office, leaving Cheggwidden shaking his head at the younger man's decision. He never saw that one coming.

LATER THAT EVENING

HARM'S APARTMENT

After eating the delicious vegetarian lasagna (Loren's pregnancy had turned her into a vegetarian as meat made her nauseous) accompanied by decaf coffee, Harm and Loren made themselves comfortable to discuss their options. They sat on Harm's couch, with Harm in the middle and Loren sat in the corner, with her legs on Harm's lap, signaling him she would like a foot rub. This was their usual position for discussing something and as Loren's pregnancy progressed her feet ached more and Harm often gave her a foot rub. When she first found out that foot and back rubs were included in his offer in helping her during her pregnancy she had been ecstatic. But she was even more ecstatic when Harm actually rubbed her back and/or her feet as he proved to be a very accomplised masseur. As Harm rubbed her feet they discussed everything they learned today.

"The first three options are completely unacceptable." Harm concluded and Loren voiced her agreement.

"That leaves us options 4 and 5. The toughest decisions to make" she continued his train of thought.

"I know I could never be happy with option 4. We are family and that option would make us into complete strangers. And I would never agree with that if there was any other chance. You two are parts of my family and family is too important to me. And I want to help you raise this baby which could definitely never be if we were to take option 4."

Loren concluded, looking him in the eyes "Which leaves option 5. Formalizing our relationship, 'whatever it is'.Wedding. Marriage."

They both fell silent, contemplating the enormity of their decision. Were they ready for it?

After a while Harm asked her "What do you think?"

Loren watched him thoughtfully, gathering her thoughts.

"It's a big thing. Marriage. Especially for two people who aren't a couple. I mean, we intended to raise our daughter together, but marriage? On the other hand, I don't see any other option. Never thought I would get engaged this way."

Harm listened to her, with a serious expression. He didn't respond to Loren's last comment, but thought of the little box in his bedside table.

"So, we're getting married. Any idea when or where?"

"I think the sooner, the better. Grandma Sarah's farm?"

"That's a great idea. I think she'll love to have the wedding there. Once she hears we are getting married, that is. We'll have to invite John and Lauren too." this time both of them could appreciate the humour in the similarity of the women's names.

"What do you think about the date?"

Loren was deep in thought "A church wedding is out, obviously, since neither of us is religious and we had no marriage counseling classes, nor can we wait months on the Church's permission. This wedding will have to take place soon before we get even more in trouble. So we'll hire a Justice of Peace to perform it at the farm as soon as we get everything ready."

"I agree. Tomorrow we go to the Court House to apply for a marriage licens. Is that alright with you?"

Loren nodded "It would be best, yes, that way we'll have that out of the way immediately."

Harm switched her feet and started rubbing the other one. Loren moaned in ecstasy and Harm tried to suppress his body's reaction to the sound. He cleared his throat and went to the next topic.

"Who will we invite? My family, obviously, but I don't think you would want to invite yours. Am I right?"

Loren wasn't pleased over this topic, but knew it would have to come up eventually "I cut off my ties to them when I joined the Navy. I haven't seen them since. So, definitely not them. I think, just our co-workers and the Admiral along with John and Lauren would be enough."

Harm was sad that the woman who had come to mean so much to him had practically no family. Not only was she his friend, he would even tentatively call her his best friend, but she was now his fiancee.

He decided that the time was right and got up, gently placing her foot on the couch. He marched quickly towards his bedroom, leaving Loren staring questioningly at this abrupt action.

After a few minutes he came back, holding something in his fist.

He stood before Loren for a few seconds, took a deep breath and got down on one knee. He opened the box and held it out, showing her the simple diamond ring it held.

"I know we're marrying because we have no other choice, but that is no reason why we should treat it as some contract and no reason why you should be deprived of the things all other brides get, such as a real proposal and an engagement ring. Even though we are not in love and are getting married because we have no other option, would you please give me the honor of becoming my wife? I promise that you will never be missing anything, I promise to be the best husband and father possible and that I will do my best to make you happy for the rest of our life together."

Loren's eyes were suddenly filled with tears and she sniffled. It may not have been the most romantic proposal ever, but it was perfect. Perfect because it was from the heart and she could see in his eyes he meant everything he said. And she knew could trust him to keep his word.

Her voice was small and choked with tears as she answered "Yes. I'll marry you." Her hand trembled as Harm slipped the ring on her finger.

As Harm watched she brought the finger closer to her face to see the ring better. "It's beautiful." she whispered. But them something occured to her and she frowned. "Better question is, why did you have it?"

She squinted at Harm suspiciously. "You had this ring stored somewhere in your bedroom. Why did you have it? How long have you had it? Somehow I don't believe it was meant for me."

Harm smiled sheepishly. "Actually it was. Meant for you. But to answer your question. I've had it for 15 years. It was my grandmother's first and then my mother's. Mom gave it to me to give it to the woman I'm going to would be you. It's a family heirloom, passed down to every male in the family for him to give it to his bride. I'm giving it to you."

Fresh tears welled up and started coursing down her pale cheeks. He was giving her his family heirloom!

No matter what the reason for their marriage was, this was all the proof she needed that he was fully, completely and entirely committed to her and their marriage. For the rest of their lives.

She pressed her hands to her chest and glanced up at him. The intense look he was giving her froze her in her seat. He slowly started moving closer and when their lips were only inches apart he paused. He searched her eyes for an objection, but found none. Slowly, tentatively he touched her lips with his.

The earth didn't move, the angels didn't sing and the world didn't end, but it was still the sweetest kiss either of them had ever had. It was as close to perfection as it could get.

After a few minutes they parted and just looked at each other in wonder and surprise over the emotion this simple kiss had caused.

The next kiss was not as tentative, but still tender and sweet.

After their lips parted Harm sat on the couch and Loren curled in his side, her head in his neck, her head splayed possessively over his chest while the other held his on her growing belly. His other arm was wrapped around her shoulders.

They've spent the next hour in silence, just contemplating and taking in all the changes that had taken place over that one short evening.

Harm just had one more thing to tell her, then his conscience would be clear. "I'm giving up my flight status."

Loren's head shot up "What!? Why?"

Harm smiled "My father, my grandfather and my great-grandfather have all died or were shot down before their children were even 7 years old. I have had a lot of close calls these past few years. Too many. I have known for a while now that I would want to be involved in this baby's life and I can't do that if I'm dead. Now that we are getting married I definitely don't want to die and leave you two. The last 3 generations of Rabbs have had to grow up without their fathers. That stops here. No more. That is why I am not prepared to risk my life anymore and which is why I'm giving up my flight status. And the next time Webb comes looking for help, I'll give him a definite NO, not only for that mission, but for any future mission. I'm not willing to risk it anymore, it's not worth it. It's time to step back and let others do this job. Others who don't have so much to lose."

Loren met his gaze, searching his eyes for any doubts and when she found non, she nodded and said "Okay then. I'll support your decision." and returned her head into it's previous position in his neck. Everything was quiet for the next half hour.

When Harm was sure that she was already asleep, Loren spoke up. "I want to put your name as the father on the birth certificate, if that is okay with you." She raised her head and looked him in the eyes.

Harm smiled a gentle, reassuring smile "I would like that very much. Why did you decide that?"

"You have already promised weeks ago that you will help me raise her and that you would be there for both of us. Now we are getting married. While 'he' may have donated the DNA, it is you that will care for her, take care of her when she's ill, go to PTA meetings with me, be there at her graduation, give her away at he wedding,... You will be the one she will call 'Daddy'. And if something ever happens to me I know she will be loved and protected, since there will be no doubt that you will get custody of her. And I want 'him' out of my life... our life completely. This will be our baby, yours and mine." she said, making it clear she was completely serious.

Harm looked at her steadily and said "There's nothing I want more." and guided her head back into his neck.

Soon the events of the day caught up with them and they fell asleep.

The next day they awoke together on the couch, feeling a little awkward. They weren't used to being this close, to fall asleep in each other's arms.

Aside from the pain in Harm's back they had a refreshing sleep and the breakfast they prepared together gave them the energy needed to face the day.

When Harm was finished with his morning chores they made their way to Loren's apartment so that she could have a shower and a change of clothes. Then they took Harm's SUV to the Court House.

A few hours later they had the marriage license in their possession and were back at Loren's where she was busily filling it out.

Harm looked on, highly amused, as she was concentrating fully on her work, the tip of her pink tongue sticking out between her lips and writing furiously. He almost burst out laughing, but barely managed to hold it in. It was cute. But what was even cuter was the way she was crinkling her nose. But Harm wasn't going to tell her that. The more he got to know this woman, the more he was fascinated by her.

A few minutes later she handed him the paper, telling him to put down his personal information.

He filled it out and casually looked at the license. Suddenly something caught his eye.

He put the license down and looked at Loren seriously. "Are you sure?"

Loren knew immediately what he was talking about. Actually she was just waiting for him to bring it up.

She met his gaze seriously and said with determination lacing her voice. "I'm completely sure."

Harm looked worried. "You're not doing this out of some kind of feeling of obligation, are you? You don't think I'd ever expect of you to do this?"

Loren shook her head, denying such a possibility. There is more of a chance for the government to admit they are having relations with space aliens than there is for Harm to ever try to force a woman into something. "Definitely not, Harm. I'm doing this because I want to."

"Why?" was Harm's blunt question. "You know that you'll basically have to start over with judges, colleagues, contacts, everyone you worked with on investigations,... You'll be back to square one with everyone, having to build it up again if they knew your reputation, but didn' know you personally. You completely sure you want to do this?"

The intesity of Loren's gaze intensifies "Harm, what reputation? We both know what my reputation is. I'm known as a ruthless Ice Queen with no conscience or mercy. I'm not like that anymore. I don't want to be like that anyomre. These past few months have changed me. My friendship with you changed me. I want a second start, a second chance to make it better this time. That is only one of the things taking your name can give me. This way I would get rid of my past and any connection to it. Get rid of the ghost of my parents and their last name forever, completely cut my ties with my former life. We are going to spend the rest of our lives together and this is now my life. I don't want to keep my family name, it reminds me of too many bad memories, too many bad things I want to forget. And your name will help me with that. I will be reborn as a new person, with a new identity. I also want to be a full part of your family and would be honored to carry the name. Besides, it would be confusing for people. The baby would be Rabb and I, her mother, would be Singer. We three are a family, we come together, in a package and the same family name should be on all parts of the package. I know I'm not making a lot of sense, but I'm trying my hardest to explain how I feel about this and it's hard."

Harm looks at her in wonder, stunned at the length of her speech, even though she was babbling for most of it and impressed by what he heard. He tried to say something several times, but couldn't find the words. Finally he found the words.

"I guess you must've thought about this long and hard. Just know that I would've supported you no matter what you decided. If you wanted to remain Singer I would've supported you and I will support you now that you want to take my name. In fact, I am flattered and honored that you want to take my name. And you know you are already a part of the family. Both Mom and Grandma have considered you family for a few months now. Over the past few months you've become very important to us all and I'm glad we'll never get to lose you."

Loren was moved to tears by the sentiment. These last months she had come to love them as her family, they shown her what a true family is like, they've stood by her, helped her and supported her. And it meant everything to her. She would've been devastated if she were to lose them from her life and this marriage guaranteed that something like that will never happen.

Harm saw the tears and did what came naturally. He rose from his chair, came around the table, slipped into Loren's waiting arms and held her as she cried. He rocked her slowly, tenderly kissed the crown of her head and rested his cheek on her hair.

He knew there were turbulent times ahead of them, but he also knew that as long as they stood against them side by side, they would prevail.

The rest of the day was spent informing their family of the coming nuptials.

When he called his mother Harm was at first afraid she had a heart attack due to the silence on the other end of the receiver. When he pressed the phone closer to his ear to better hear he instantly regretted that action.

Trish started screaming for Frank to get there so loud that Harm almost went deaf. The only thing he heard for the next two minutes was the ringing in his ear. Seeing his predicament Loren took the phone away from him and answered all of Trish's and Frank's questions, gratefully accepting their offers of assistance with planning the wedding and then gave the phone back over to Harm, once the ringing in his ear had stopped. Trish was ecstatic even though she thought for many years that Harm would be eventually marrying Mac, but over the last months she got to know Loren and genuinely liked her. But mainly she was happy because her bachelor son was finally getting married, right when she had just given up on that ever happening and her first grandchild would be arriving in less than 4 months. When she found out that Harm proposed to Loren with Grandma Sarah's ring all her fears of this marriage not lasting disappeared.

Harm and Loren decided to keep the reason for their marriage a secret. Rumor mill was healthy without this little information and it would just create an uncomfortable atmosphere in the office had everyone known the real reason.

After Harm finished his conversation with his mother he called his grandmother. She was happy for them, congratulated them and offered her farm for the wedding even before Harm could ask.

The rest of the week was spent planning their wedding and their life after that. It was agreed that they would move into one apartment as soon as they found any appropriate one.

On Monday they had to return to work and face their co-workers.

The first thing they did on Monday after coming to work was to arrange a meeting with the Admiral.

He was already waiting for them and they were allowed inside.

After the preliminary protocol Cheggwidden cut to the chase. "So, what have you decided?"

Harm and Loren glanced at each other and Harm took a deep breath before starting. "Sir, after a long discussion we have decided.."

"...to take the 5th option and we are getting married, sir." finished Loren for Harm after cutting him off. Harm smiled inwardly, the speed with which she finished the sentence gave away her reason for cutting him off. She obviously found the conversation uncomfortable and wanted to finish it as soon as possible.

The Admiral smirked briefly, fast enough to avoid Harm and Loren's detection, he had known what they would decide. There was no way Rabb would let anyone separate him from his family and he knew Singer wanted and needed the safe harbour that the Rabb family provided, not only for herself but also for her child.

But what he couldn't hide was his satisfied smile. He only noticed that little fact when Harm and Loren looked at him suspiciously. He decided it would be better to divert their attention.

"Very well" he concluded "I will inform the SecNav. Any idea on the date?"

Loren answered just as Harm intended to. "Yes, sir, the wedding will be in 3 weeks on the farm of Harm's grandmother. You are of course invited."

Harm smirked again. She REALLY wanted this conversation to be over with as soon as possible.

Cheggwidden stood and motioned for them to follow him. "Good." he said as he moved to the door of his office "What do you say we make the announcement now and spare us the trouble of telling everyone separately?" He didn't give them the chance to answer as he opened the door, walked to the middle of the bullpen and called everyone to attention.

Loren looked at Harm, her face white and Harm took hold of her hand in reassurance.

"Commander Rabb and Lieutenant Singer would like to make an announcement."

Everyone came out of their offices at his words and stood transfixed by what was unfolding before them.

Harm gently squeezed Loren's hand in support. In turn he was hit by begging eyes, making it clear that she wanted him to make the announcement. While he may not have been too thrilled to be the one to make the announcement, he understood her reasons. She wasn't particularily liked among the staff and it would've been better if he were the one to do it.

Still holding her hand, he stopped forward, speaking with a loud voice.

"Loren and I have an announcement to make." His use of Loren's name immediately drew attention. "I could beat around the bushes, but I think it's better if I'm brief and to the point. We are getting married."

The silence that followed that little speech would've been funny if the situation wasn't so tense. Everybody kept looking from Cheggwidden to Harm to Loren and back again, sure they were being the butt of some joke of the three.

This was definitely not what they expected when they gathered in the bullpen! 'Commander Rabb getting married to Lieutenant Singer? No way! But, on the other hand, it sure looks like it's sure...'

The first to recover was Harriet, and the romantic that she is, she squealed and embraced Harm and Loren, chattering happily all the time. Soon the rest of the female staff flocked around them and Harm was separated from Loren just as they heared a door slam closed. The women oohed and aahed over Loren's ring while Harm endured so many congratulatory pats on the back and hand shakes that he didn't even know which is up and which is down anymore.

After 10 minutes he could finally escape and he slipped into his office where he found Loren. Shutting the door and closing the blinds, he walked to a chair and sank down into it wearily.

"Whew, glad that's over with. My arm and my back are completely sore, so don't expect me to carry you tonight." Harm joked.

Loren just snorted tiredly and moved her chair to his, snuggling under his arm. Harm was surprised at her action, but didn't protest since he liked the feel of her in his arms. After a few years of being alone it sure felt extremely nice to hold a soft, warm woman. He felt her extended belly nudge his thigh and he gently caressed the bump with his other hand. Loren sighed in contentment and snuggled in closer. A few minutes later Harm realized she fell asleep. He felt flattered that she trusted him to keep her safe from injury and threat while she slept in a chair at the office.

Half an hour later there was a knock on the door and before he could react the Admiral's head popped into the room. Not locating Harm immediately he looked around before zeroing on him and Loren.

Harm could do nothing else but say "She's been really exhausted lately, sir." before realizing how it could be interpreted. Cue in the panic face.

Cheggwidden just shook his head, chuckling softly. "She's got half an hour and then it's back to work."

Harm only managed to slip in a "Yes, sir." before the door closed gently. He sighed and settled back into his chair, continuing to hold Loren as she slept.

After the allowed half an hour he finally woke her up. Sleepy blue eyes fluttered open, unfocused and disoriented.

"Come on, sleeping beauty, we have to get to work. Or the Admiral might decide he wants lawyers who actually do something for their pay."

She just murmured something and let him pull her to her feet. Harm waited until she woke up enough not to let anyone in on the fact that she was sleeping until now.

When Harm was sure she was alright to face the staff, he opened the door and let her through before him. Before stepping through she turned to him, put her hand on his forearm and said to him. "Talk to her." She didn't need to specify who, because he knew who she meant. He nodded and waited for her to enter the bullpen before moving the few feet to Mac's office.

He knocked and was about to open the door when the voice floated to him. "Go away!"

Harm stopped, hesitating. "Mac, it's me, Harm."

The voice was now definitely hostile and very angry. "Leave me the hell alone! I don't want to see you!"

Harm looked around, feeling quite uncomfortable at being the center of attention and decided it was worth the risk. He quickly entered her office and closed the door behind him.

"Didn't you hear what I've said? Leave my office NOW!" Mac was looking quite angry.

Harm raised his hands in the universal 'I come in peace' gesture. "Mac, I just want to explain."

Fire flashed in Mac's eyes. "I don't want to hear it. And if you try to talk to me about any non-job related topics again, I will fill charges for harrassment against you."

Harm looked at her, baffled "You're not serious."

"Oh, I am. I am dead serious."

Harm saw the truth in her eyes and nodded sadly. His shoulders slumped resignedly and he turned to leave. "I never wanted for us to end this way."

Mac's soft voice reached him just as he was about to open the door. "I know. Me either."

"I won't be sending a wedding invitation. I know if it were me I wouldn't want to go."

Mac thought back to how she blackmailed and forced him into agreeing to come to her wedding to Brumby, how that promise she forced out of him almost got him killed. She smiled sadly. She now knew how he felt back then.

"Thank you, Harm. Congratulations, I hope you two will be happy."

It was not said venomously or bitterly, just resignedly.

Harm nodded and left the office.

Once the door closed behind him Mac broke out into tears.

'I just had to play those games! I only pushed him into her hands. I shouldn't have pushed him away for all these years and have played games, waiting, forcing him into giving in first. I should've had the courage to say the words first. And now I've lost him forever!'

And sobs took her over once more.

The wedding of Harmon Rabb Jr. and Loren Singer was a beautiful affair.

It took place on a small hill overlooking the Rabb family farm with their family and friends in attendance.

Contrary to all other wedding the bride wore her uniform instead of a wedding dress. She claimed that a white wedding dress wasn't appropriate since she definitely wasn't a virgin and she was proud of her accomplishments in the Navy, so she decided on her maternity mess dress.

The groom also wore his mess dress and together they made quite a striking couple, standing there, dressed in their finest uniforms.

The JOP's words "May I present to you for the first time, Commander and Lieutenant Rabb!" were greeted with an applause and whistling. The unfortunate whistler was immediately quietened by the Admiral's glare and then rather resorted to clapping.

Their co-workers surprised Loren and Harm when they got into the position for the Arch of Swords.

When the Admiral gently thumped Loren on her butt and yelled "Go Navy!" Loren corrected him "I'm already in the Navy, sir."

Cheggwidden's stunned look draw snickers from the onlookers, which were quickly suppressed once they were subjected to his glare.

The reception took place in the main building and it was suddenly turned into a wedding/baby shower by the guests.

Harm and Loren received quite a few nice presents, but Trish and Frank's topped them all. Trish and Frank bought the young couple a 4 bedroom house in Alexandria. What they didn't tell them was that movers were hired to move all of Harm and Loren's things into the new house while they were on their honeymoon.

The Bahamas were gorgeous. Harm and Loren did a lot of sun bathing, swimming in the warm ocean, going for slow walks, sailing, snorkeling,... anything that wasn't too strenous or would put the baby in jeopardy. After seeing Loren in a bikini, Harm couldn't deny it anymore. She was one HOT woman and he was definitely, very attracted to her. Every time she smiled or laughed he felt a strange sensation in his gut and found himself intentionally saying and doing things that would make her laugh. Things that would make her happy. He had the sinking suspicion that he was falling for her.

After 2 glorious weeks in the Bahamas Harm and Loren returned to a rainy DC, only to be picked up by a Navy staff car at the airport and driven to their new house.

When it came to view they were amazed at the beauty of the architecture and it's surroundings. A wide front yard, a huge back yard with trees and a flower garden. The inside of the house was a true masterpiece in efficiency and aesthetics.

Without thinking they moved into the master bedroom, which held Harm's large bed. The thought that they didn't have anyone to convince of them being in love never crossed their minds. They just fell into the roles of a married couple with ease. But they still hadn't had sex.

That came a few days later when Loren, while laying in bed with Harm, decided to take matters into her own hands, take advantage of her married status and the hormones and seduced her husband. Even though at first it was awkward with her pregnant belly and they had to be very careful and imaginative, it was much better than either of them ever expected. Once they overcame the initial awkwardness of new lovers and started trying out new positions and learning what the other liked, they finally completely enjoyed their marriage.

They were now truly married.

A few months later Christine Rabb was born and true to Loren's decision, the birth certificate said Harmon Rabb Jr. was the father.

She was 3 years later joined by her brother Harmon Rabb III.. Harm protested very vocally against the name at first, he didn't want his son to be made fun of by the other kids because of his name, but Loren won in the end. She was aware of her considerate feminine wiles and used them with a terrifying effect against Harm when she really wanted something. Harm was grateful that such times were few and far between. But he wasn't without a weapon himself. He used his charm and sex appeal with great effect on Loren and such times were generally followed by hours of passionate love making. Little Harmon was the result of one of such occasions.

By this time Harm and Loren had already admitted their love for each other and we're like any other happily married couple.

They had an occasional small fight, but their strong friendship and skills as lawyers guaranteed that the issues were dealt with swiftly and efficiently. As Harm had predicted at the start of their relationship, they would prevail everything when standing side by side.

What began as a marriage of convenience became a real marriage.

Looking lovingly at her new son as he suckled at her breast and then to his father, laying beside her on the bed and watching with love in his eyes, Loren decided it was meant to be. She was meant to get pregnant and abandoned by Sergei, get a new direction regarding her career, grow in her developing friendship with Harm, just to get to this. She was meant to marry Harm, have children with him and spend the rest of her life in a true wedded bliss with him.

And she didn't mind it one bit.

THE END