TheShamanMaster presents...
Naruto & Sugar Don't Mix
Story & Script by TheShamanMaster
Naruto © Masashi Kishimoto
Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto...people should know that by now XX...
Note: This Chapter is dedicated to:
Shuyoru Kayume for reviewing my Bleach Fic, and adding me on DeviantART as a buddy!
Hououza for reviewing my fics also!
and finally Mizu Hime for reviewing "Naruto's Beach Party!"
-I've been watching Cowboy Bebop The Movie (great) so that's inspiration for this chapter! Oh, and Cowboy Bebop belongs to the number one director, Shinchiro Watanabe!
-Oh, and the lyrics in this chapter belong to Yoko Kanno of Seatbelts!
Chapter 2: Cunning Plan! Spiegel and Black?
Tsunade sat with her hands together. "I see. So what you're telling me, is that Naruto's gone hyper from sugar?"
Sai looked embrassed. "Yes. It seems that way."
Shizune looked worried. "Tsunade-sama, what should we do?"
"We'll call an ANBU squad to track him, and catch him. It's the only thing we can do." Tsunade said with a heavy sign. "Sai, you better go. Keep a track on Naruto." Sai nodded and left the room.
"Why do you think Naruto's acting like this? You think something happened to him?" Shizune said
"It's probably just a childhood-phase Naruto's re-experiencing. He'll probably get over it soon, hm?" Tsunade had that feeling someone was watching her. She looked out her window, and saw Jiraiya standing on the roof above her.
"Jiraiya, what the hell do you think your doing? Eavesdropping like that?"
Jiraiya cracked a smile. "Well, I couldn't help overhearing Naruto's little 'problem'. But I have to say, this has happened before. So I better tell you."
"Jiraiya, get your ass inside now!" Tsunade declared. Jiraiya quickly jumped inside. He cleared his throat.
"Well, this happened to Naruto in the 2.5 years we were away. He got hyped up, and that time, it took me around 7 hours before he calmed down. Apparently, it happened when he went to get some onigiri, and some idiot put sugar on them instead of salt."
Tsunade's eyes widened. "You don't say! But why does he seem so...happy?"
"I think it's because he was so miserable in his childhood, he wants to forget about it, and be happy again." Jiraiya sighed. "Well, I hope we can catch him, before he does something he'll regret..."
"Like what?"
"Trust me, you don't wanna know. But I might know a trick or two to stop him..."
"Like?" Tsunade asked
"Well..." Jiraiya continued on speaking. On the other side of town, Naruto and Lee were rushing down the street.
"Naruto-kun! What will you have first?" Lee asked.
Naruto looked around, and spotted a candy floss stand. "Candy Floss! Dead ahead!" Both came to a halt, and appeared before the stand.
The man on the stand smiled. "Your just in time, I was whipping up a fresh batch." He handed a big stick of floss to both ninja. Lee dove in his pocket, and handed the man some money.
"Keep the change." Lee muttered as he and Naruto took large bites out the sticky, fluffy, pink candy. Naruto quickly looked round, and spotted something else that caught his eye.
"Lee-san! I spot something else exciting!" He pointed to a costume store.
"Yes! Costumes! Brilliant idea, Naruto-kun! We shall look positivly awesome!" Lee and Naruto finished their candy floss, and rushed inside the store.
Meanwhile, Ino was still getting over her 'dramatic' moment.
"I swear, I'm gonna kill that idiot! He wasn't himself at all. And why did he kiss me anyway?" She touched her lips. They still had a scent of sugar on them.
Well I suppose it was kinda nice of him..wait! What the hell am I thinking? I don't even have feelings for him. We're friends and thats it! Maybe I could try being a bit nicer to him I suppose...She sighed. She went into the back, and got herself some water.
Sakura had rushed into Tsunade's office. The nerve of him! Kissing Ino like that! Now I'm pissed off...
Inner Sakura: Just you wait Naruto! You'll be the one kissing me soon! I'll make sure of it!
"Tsunade-sama! Naruto's gone..." Sakura saw that Tsunade looked pissed off.
"JIRAIYA! IF YOU THINK "THAT'S" GONNA HAPPEN, YOUR SADLY MISTAKEN!" Tsunade boomed and clenched his fist.
"B-b-b-b-but Tsunade, all I need is a girl whose willing to dress in a bikini, and seduce Naruto and-YEOUCH!" He got punched in the nose.
The Hokage scoffed. "You pervert! Your just gonna do it so you can write your damn novels!"
Sakura swallowed hard. "Tsunade-sama, what's going on?"
"Jiraiya says that to stop Naruto, we have to give him a hard hit on the head, or make him get seduced by a girl in a bikini!"
"Well, I gave him a copy of Icha Icha Paradise last time, and after he got a nosebleed, he stopped. But we can't run around with a book! He's too fast. We'll have to get someone to seduce him and..." He turned to Sakura. He got down on his knees and begged.
"Please, Sakura-hime! Help me, the great Sannin, Jiraiya! If you do, I will give you anything you want! Money, clothes, food! Anything your heart desires!" Jiraiya was almost crying.
"No! Why can't I just hit him?" Sakura said crossing her arms.
"We don't want him dead! Last time you hit him, you almost broke every bone in his face! Please, I beg of you, Sakura-hime!" Jiraiya was now on the ground, kissing her feet.
"Alright, alright, alright! I'll do it! But you gotta stop this crap." Sakura kicked him in the face. "And don't look at my rack from that angle! Pervert!"
Jiraiya raised his hand. "Y...Y...Yes...Sakura-chan..." He blacked out for a minute, and woke up. He got to his feet, and sighed.
"Alright, here's what we're gonna do. Sakura, you..." And so, the plan was discussed.
Back in the costume store, Naruto and Lee were trying on different costumes, and found ones that they liked. Also, a boombox, which was brand new.
"Okay, so we have what we want! But which girl can we give this costume?" Lee asked holding up quite a revealing outfit.
"Which girl has the biggest boobs?" Naruto replied
"Does the Hokage shit in the woods?" Lee said sarcasticly
"No clue, amigo! Maybe Sakura-chan!" Naruto said popping another sucker in his mouth.
"Maybe youthful TenTen! According to my eternal rival Neji, she is the sexiest looking girl in Konoha! How youthful young women can be!" The taijutsu user said with fire in his eyes.
"But Sakura-chan! She's sooooooo cute!" The blonde replied sadly.
Lee pondered for a moment. "Hmm. My dear comrade, you say quite a wonderful thing! Indeed, Sakura-chan is very cute! But I believe TenTen is much cuter!"
"Rock, Paper, Scissors to decide?" Naruto asked getting his hand ready.
"Nah, I say we just get the first one that comes our way! Let's pay for this stuff." Lee and Naruto payed for the clothing and the boombox, and left the store wearing the outfits.
"How do we look?" The blonde whispered
"Like the coolest dudes around." Lee whispered back. Naruto switched on the boombox, popped a CD in from his back pocket, and started to dance.
Team 8 were getting some icecream. Kiba had Mint Chocolate Chip, Shino had Vanilla, and Hinata had Strawberry.
"This was q-quite nice of you, Kiba-kun." Hinata said having a few licks.
"Yes, thank you." Shino said starting his.
"Heh, what can I say, I'm a nice guy...hm? Hey, do you hear music?" Kiba said
Hinata and Shino stood still for a moment. "Seems that way." Shino replied.
"It's getting louder. Who do you think it could be?" Hinata asked worridly.
"ARF ARF!" Akamaru barked.
"Hey, Akamaru, what do you...huh? Is that...Naruto?" Kiba said wide-eyed.
Team 8 saw Naruto and Lee dancing down the street in some odd looking outfits. Naruto was wearing a dark suit, with a yellow shirt underneath, and a black tie. He also had a wig of mopped hair. Lee, however, was wearing a light colored outfit, with some metal boots, and a fake prosthetic arm. He also had a bald head cap, with some facial hair. They began to moonwalk to a very familar tune.
You and I are betting on words
You and I are wandering worlds apart from each other joined at the heart.
You and I escaping the Earth Tasting tears for all that it's worth apart from each other joined by a thought
Can you believe me? Still sitting pretty with a pistol in hand
Living to love you will you be my man? If I beg, If I plead
Would you please, please, please satisfy me?
A hoard of fangirls were screaming with hearts in their eyes. "Naruto-kun! You are soooo hot!"
"We love you, Naruto-kun!"
"Your the greatest!"
Team 8 just stared with their jaws hanging out.
"What in the hell?" Kiba asked. "Oi, Naruto! OI!" Naruto heard his name being called, and switched off the music. He and Lee walked over.
"Naruto, what are you wearing?" Shino asked eyeing him.
"N-Naruto-kun, are you f-f-f-feeling well?" Hinata stammered.
Naruto smiled. "Please, I am Spike Spiegel!"
"And I am Jet Black of the infamous 'Bebop' crew! And it seems we found our "Faye Valentine!" Lee continued.
Kiba and Hinata looked at each other. "F-F-Faye Valentine? Who is she?" Hinata asked.
"You of course! You've got the beauty, the brains, and the curves of Faye! Come, Hinata-chan! Join us, on this day of youthfulness and sunshine!" Naruto shouted.
The Hyuuga Heiress stood their turning red. "Y-Y-You l-like m-me, N-Naruto-kun?" She asked turning red even more.
"Woah woah! Back off, Naruto! Just what is going on?" Kiba said stepping out in front. The blonde pulled out a pistol.
"Back off or I feel you full of lead. You can be one of the bad guys." He said holding the gun to Kiba's head. He put it away. He crawled Hinata and put on puppy dog eyes.
"Pretty, pretty pretty please, Hinata-chan! It'll be fun! Pwease!" Naruto held her hand, which made her red as blood.
"O-O-Okay, Naruto-kun! I suppose it will be fun." Naruto gave her the outfit, and she went inside a nearby toilet to change clothes. Kiba wanted to have a look, but Shino stopped him saying that she would never forgive him. After 5 minutes, Hinata came out, looking very, very hot. Kiba got a huge nosebleed, and fainted.
"Faye! You're here at last! The 'Bebop' crew is finished at last-" Lee cried
"Not exactly. We still gotta get an Ed." Naruto cut him off
"Why not ask Konohamaru?" Shino suggested. The others looked at him, and he just shrugged.
"Konohamaru it is! Let's go!" Hinata said happily. Naruto switched the boombox on again, and the 3 of them started to dance down the street. Shino stood there eating his ice cream. Hmmm...I'll suggest them for Konoha's next theater production...
Sai then jumped in. "Shino-san, have you seen Naruto?"
"You just missed him. He was here like 5 minutes ago. He went that way." Shino pointed.
Sai nodded. "Thanks, cya later." Sai disappeared. The bug ninja sighed.
Well, if he's Spike Spiegel, then I'm a gangster. He adjusted his hood, then pulled out his phone, and cranked up the sound.
"Now dis is good shit! Peace out to ma brethren in Konoha!" He said smiling as he bobbed his head to Ain't Nuttin' But A G Thang by Snoop Dogg & Dr. Dre
Sakura, however, went back home to change. She had decided to take part in the plan after all. She changed into a pink bikini, and covered herself up with a large, white overcoat.
"This has better work! Or you are so dead Naruto!" She said as she zipped up the overcoat and put on some sunglasses. Sakura left her house.
At a nearby cafe, sitting outside, Gai, Neji, and TenTen were enjoying some soup.
"What soup did you order anyway? This is damn good." Neji commented
"Asparagus! One of the Konoha's finest flavours!" Gai said giving a thumbs up. TenTen just sighed. She then heard music.
"Hey, Neji, sensei, do you hear music?" The males listened.
"Must be nothing. But if it's something, I bet Lee's involved." Neji muttered
Gai gave a heavy sigh. "Neji, why must you jump to conclusions? That is not the youthful thing to do!"
As TenTen had another spoonful, she saw what looked like Lee, Naruto and Hinata. She raised her eyebrow.
"Hey, is that, Lee? and Naruto? with Hinata?" Neji looked up.
"Oh my lord! What is my cousin wearing?"
"I dunno, But Naruto looks pretty hot." TenTen said as her cheeks got a small blush on them.
Gai was surprised as anyone! "Lee! My beloved student! How goes you this fine day?"
The Hyuuga was surprised and felt a nosebleed coming. When did his cousin get so...hot?
The so-called ''Bebop'' crew walked over to Gai and the others. "Yo, Gai, Neji, TenTen! What's up?" Naruto asked
All 3 recieved blank stares, and then Gai spoke. "Naruto! You look perfect in that suit!"
"Gai-sensei! He's youthful now like me! And please, call him Spike Spiegel, me Jet Black, and Hinata, Faye!" Lee exclaimed as he gave his sensei a bear hug.
Naruto looked at TenTen. "Yo, babe, what's happening?" He winked at her, which made her blush. "Hey...Spike..." She said confused.
Neji was gobsmacked. "Hey, Hina-..I mean, Faye...how are you?"
"I'm am well, Neji-neesan." Hinata replied softly.
Gai had tears in his eyes. "This so wonderful! The more youthfulness, the better! I shall dress up also! I will be, Napoleon! Or maybe, Chuck Norris!" Neji elbowed him, and Gai sat back down.
The spandex-wearing sensei sighed. Watching them from afar, Sai had found Naruto. Now I just gotta wait...
To Be Continued...
Chapter 2 is done! Will Sai take out Naruto? Find out in Chapter 3: Naruto Charges! Sai Chases!
-The comment that Lee made 'Does The Hokage Shit in the woods?' comes from GTA: San Andreas.