TheShamanMaster presents...

Naruto & Sugar Don't Mix

Story & Script by TheShamanMaster

Naruto © Masashi Kishimoto

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto...people should know that by now...

Note: Thank you everyone for the reviews! Glad you enjoy this! Here's Chapter 4. This is dedicated to everyone on MY favorite Authors list.

"talking"

"Thinking/Flashback"

"Kyuubi Talking"

Chapter 4: What Happened? Get Back The Bebop Crew!

"So lemme, get this right? You, Naruto AND Hinata dressed like the crew from Cowboy Bebop, Naruto gave TenTen a flower, Neji got jealous, tried to beat the shit out of him, and you got seperated?" Sakura asked after Lee had told her the story.

"Yes! It was quite an adventure! Hinata looked so amazing in that 'Faye Valentine' outfit! The power of youth explodes!" Lee said with fire in his eyes (again).

"You can say that again, Jet Black!" Came a familiar voice. Sakura and Lee looked round, and in a puff of smoke, Gai appeared.

"Gai-sensei? What are you wearing?" Lee asked. Gai was wearing a wide-brimmed hat, with a colored robe over him, and odd-shaped boots. He was dressed like Clint Eastwood.

"Please, I am The Man With No Name! If that's too much to remember, call me, The Man for short!" He drew a revolver, and started to spin the barrel to reload it.

"Er...Gai-sensei..not to spoil the moment, but we're kinda looking for Naruto. So if you wanna save the antics for now, and help us look for him, that will be very nice." Sakura said trying not to get angry.

Gai smiled. "I'm way ahead of you!" He whistled, and a horse came galloping around the corner, and stopped in front of the group.

"Allow me to introduce my noble steed!" He started to get teary-eyed. "I call him...Lee HyuTen Jr...yes...he's a...handsome devil..." Sakura and Lee looked at the horse. Gai was right!

"Now! Let's hop on! We'll find Naruto quickly." The big eye-browed sensei hopped on first, then his copycat student, then the pink-haired beauty. "Hang on tight! We'll be going fast! Now, Lee Jr., away!" He shook the reins, and the proud horse started to gallop.

"Gai-sensei, how long have you had a horse anyway?" Sakura said curiously. Gai took a deep breath.

"Well, it all started 2 months ago when I won the Konoha Sweepstakes..."

Flashback to 2 months ago.

"...and the winner of the Konoha Sweepstakes prize is...Maito Gai!" The announcer declared on the TV.

"YAHOOOOOOOO! My hard work has paid off!" Gai did a pose, and made his teeth shine.

"Work? What work? All you did was enter a ticket." Kakashi said with his nose in his book.

"Is that jealousy I'm hearing from my eternal rival, Kakashi?" Gai sniggered

"Forget it." Kakashi mumbled.

Gai had won a cheque for 250,000 Ryou. He picked up the cheque the next day, and cashed it. He then called his team over to the meeting place.

"My beloved students! Since I am now very rich, I'm giving you 10,000 Ryou each out of my winnings." He presented each of his students with a stack of money.

Neji was lost for words. "Now...I can buy more weapons for myself..."

TenTen was smiling. "I can get myself some more clothes. Silk...Leather...the finest in the village!"

"At last! All the curry I can eat, and I can get a kitten!" Lee smiled happily. (A/N: Now you know why Lee had all that money to pay for the food, the outfits and the curry.)

"A kitten? Since when have you wanted a kitten?" Neji asked

"Ever since I was 8 years old! Kittens are so cute and soft, and I'm gonna own one! Thank you, Gai-sensei!" Lee was in tears

Gai gave another pose. "Anything for my beloved students!"

A few days later, Gai went down to the Konoha stables, and bought himself a horse.

"A horse? You spent half your cash on a HORSE?" Asuma said almost swallowing his smoke.

"Of course! I've wanted a stallion for a long time! In fact, my father owned a horse! But sadly, it died. He called him...Joey!" Gai said looking at a photo in his wallet.

Kakashi let out a heavy sigh. "I suppose it's true what they say. If you can't beat 'em, join 'em."

A week later, Lee had bought a little kitten. It was a small ginger tom, and he had called him, Yama. TenTen thought it was so cute, but Neji thought it was a bad idea. He thought Lee wasn't responsible enough, but he proved him wrong.

End Flashback

"Wow...surprising...Lee, can I borrew some cash? Theres this gorgeous diamond necklace I've been wanting for weeks, but I'm still 2,000 Ryou short...Please?" Sakura asked.

Lee smiled. "Of course you can, Sakura-san! As soon as we catch Naruto-kun! Gai-sensei! Go faster, we don't have much time. Naruto-kun could be in real danger!" He was still thinking of Sai, and what he said by 'I'll deal with you later'.

The sensei nodded, and shook the reins harder, and the horse picked up speed.

Meanwhile, on the balcony roof, Naruto had TenTen asleep in his lap. She's so cute...Lee was right...

Sai was on the roof opposite. He pulled out a dart blower, and loaded it with a dart. "Sorry about this, Naruto-san. But it's for the best." He began to blow, but he sucked instead, and swallowed the dart!

"Oh no! I've...I've...I've yawn Goodnight, Sai-chan. yawn" He collasped, and started to sleep. Poor Sai!

The blonde ninja thought someone was watching him. He looked round, and saw nothing. He started to eat the last caramel apple he had. It was really sticky, so his fingers didn't look good afterwards. Luckily, there was a pail of water nearby, so he washed his hands.

"Hmm...I've seen everyone so far except Sakura-chaaaaaaaannnn! Where's my favorite cherry blossam?" He said in a worried voice.

At the Hyuuga household, Hinata had changed her clothes. Roleplaying with Naruto had been fun, but she was worn out. She went to the fridge looking some junk food to snack on, but only found some smaller stuff. She took the apple juice carton, and started to drink out the carton.

"Excuse me, my daughter! But in this household, we use a glass to drink out of!" Demanded a important voice. Hinata spat out some juice, and wiped her mouth.

"Dad! I'm sorry, I thought you were out." Hinata said in a small voice. Hiashi gave his daughter a strict look.

"Where have you been for the past hour or so? You said you went to get ice cream with your teammates. And I know ice cream doesn't take THAT long to eat!"

Hinata turned her head slightly. "Well...you see...I bumped into Naruto, and well..."

"I can see why. You have a white rose in your hair." Hinata felt its petals, and blushed slightly.

Hiashi smiled. "Well, your a teenager. A 15-year old with her own dreams, goals, and activities. I was the same when I was your age. Me and my teammates always used to ''hang out'', as you young ones call it today." He opened the fridge and took out an plum.

"Well, I can't let you stay away from your loved one. Please, have fun, enjoy life to the fullest! Be proud as a Hyuuga!" He laughed as he walked back into the living room. "Teenagers these days...whatever next?"

Hinata giggled a little, and saw Hanabi in the doorway filing her nails. "Lucky, lucky, onee-chan. You almost got yelled at. I would have loved that Kodak moment of your terrified face!"

"Hanabi, don't be silly. And besides, why are you here?" Hinata asked

Hanabi smiled a little. "You wanted something right? Lemme get a milkshake." She blew her nails. Perfect! And chucked the file in the trash.

"Good idea! Give me one too!"

"With whipped cream, onee-chan?"

"You read my mind!" Hinata said cheerfully.

Shikamaru was still running for his life! "What a troublesome situation I'm in!"

"Get back here, you little punk!" One of the ninja screamed.

Chouji was walking with a bag of BBQ chips in his hand, and he saw Shikamaru. "What's he doing?" Shikamaru jumped down and rushed over to him.

"Chouji thank the lord! Look you gotta help me! I messed up some fruit stand, and now I gotta whole bunch of maniacs chasing me!" The genius was cowaring in fear. Chouji put on a serious look.

"It's alright, I'll handle this." Chouji stepped forward as the dozen or so ninja landed and walked over to him.

"Alright, alright, fatso. Move outta the way, you're blocking the street." One of them said.

The large ninja's ears twitched to the sound of a certain word. "WHAT...DID...YOU...SAY...?" He boomed

"F-A-T-S-O!" The man continued laughing.

Chouji exploded. "I am not fat! Bubun Baika No Jutsu!" Chouji's right arm was enlarged, and it slammed the ninja into the ground. He was panting.

Another one of them was shaking. "That symbol on his armor...and...that jutsu! He's...one of the Akimichi Clan!"

"Are you sure?"

"No doubt about it!"

"That's right you weaklings! I am Akimichi Chouji, and my dad is Akimichi Chouza!" Chouji said with a grin.

The ninja stammered. "Ch-ch-ch-ch-chouza? Oh god! Run for it men!" The shinobi turned tailed and ran back across town.

Shikamaru was surprised. "You know those guys?"

"Well, my dad does. It was a few years back, he and the leader of this gang got into a bar fight, and dad won fair and square!" Chouji said sniggering.

Shikamaru wiped his brow. "Phew! Thanks for saving my ass! You wanna go watch the clouds with me?"

"Of course, bestest best friend in the world! But first, I'll get some more chips!" Chouji exclaimed.

"OOookay...we'll do that. Just don't use that ''bestest'' term again. It's kinda embrassing..." Shikamaru said with hands behind his head.

Back on the east side, Sakura and the others were still on Lee Jr.

"We've looked everywhere Naruto would go." Sakura said with worry.

"He'll show up...hold on, I think I still got that..." Lee was getting something out his pocket. He pulled out a talkie.

"You have that?" Sakura asked

"I just remembered! Time to call him in!" He pressed a button. "This is Jet to Spike, come in Spike! Spike, come in!"

Naruto heard the talkie vibrate in his pocket. He answered. "This is Spike! What's up, Jet?"

"Spike, where are you? We've been looking for you everywhere!" Lee called

"Erm..." Naruto had no idea how to describe his location. He looked over the balcony, and saw the smashed watermelon stand. "I'm on a street with a smashed watermelon stand next to a market. That help ya, Jet?"

Lee got confused. "I know where that is!" Gai spoke out.

"You do, sensei?" Lee replied

Gai nodded. "It's the same place where my father had to bury Joey...it's sad for me everytime I walk through that street. Lee Jr., turn left!" The horse did a tight turn, and almost made everyone fall off.

"Spike, we'll be there shortly. And can we stop using codenames? Neji ruined the boombox with the ''Cowboy Bebop'' soundtrack!" Lee said frustrated.

"Okay, Lee. See ya." Naruto put the talkie away. I wonder what they want anyway? Oh well, I'm recharged and ready to go! I wonder what TenTen wants to do next...

"I know what she wants to do, kit!" Boomed a deep, demonic voiceNaruto then found himself in front of the Kyuubi's cage.

"Damn fox! How long have you been awake?"

"Since three and a half hours ago when you got that sugar rush! God, your so annoying, kit!" Kyuubi said

Naruto raised an eyebrow. "So what I'm enjoying myself and-"

"AND, you've kissed every girl you've seen today! First blondie (Ino), then little-miss-violet (Hinata), and now that Chinese tweety bird (TenTen) there! I've got an idea. Take that girl back to your apartment, and do the first thing that comes to your mind, or do I have to spell it out for you, dipshit?"

The blonde figured out what he meant. "Kyuubi, you ero-demon! How could you think of that? I just like her that's all!" He said blushing slightly.

Kyuubi sniggered. "Sure, sure, sure. Thats you humans all say, but soon, you're on the bed, 'making the beast with two backs'. I can see it now, a load of little you's with brown and blonde hair, and maybe a daughter with blonde hair! Now what sounds better? Uzumaki TenTen, Uzumaki Ino or Uzumaki Hinata? Or how about marrying all 3 and producing 3 children to each of them?

"Kyuubi, shut the hell up! Geez, you give me a headache!"

"Me? I've been stuck in here for 15 years, and I give you a headache? It's the other WAY AROUND! And what about Pinky? Why hasn't she shown up yet? God, I love that fine ass of hers...and she's a totally different species then me..." The demon was sniggering at perverted thoughts.

Naruto slapped his hand on his forehead. "Damn, I never knew you demons were so persistant! I'm outta here!"

"Good! I need to get back to my 18-hour-a-day sleep! Now get out!"

Naruto found himself back in reality, TenTen was waking up. "Naruto-kun...you alright? Your staring into space."

"It's fine TenTen-chan." He sat down and gave her a hug. Now what about the Bebop crew?

"TenTen-chan, do you wanna be the next part of the Bebop crew? The next Faye?" Naruto asked giving his trademark grin.

TenTen's eyes lit up. "Of course, Naruto-kun! I want to have some fun! You and Lee were having all the fun." She kissed him on the cheek.

Sakura, Gai and Lee had reached the street. "There! The markets up ahead!" Sakura shouted. Gai, however, was sobbing and crying his eyes out.

"Joey...I'll never forget you...You were a noble steed right to the end!"

Lee Hyuten Jr. raced through the stalls, with Lee having to pardon themselves as they picked up speed. "There on the balcony ahead! I see Naruto!" Lee turned his head slightly and saw another figure on the opposite building. "And isn't that Sai? He looks like he's asleep..."

Sakura and Lee got off the horse. "Lee, you check on Sai. I got a certain little sugar-craving fox to catch." Sakura had a wolfy grin. She raced up the stairs to the balcony and saw quite an unusual sight...

"NARUTO!"

To Be Continued...

Aren't cliffhangers just the coolest thing around? The dramatic climax comes in Chapter 5: Sakura Help! Your Number One!

The name for the horse - In case you didn't figure it out, 'Lee' is the first name, 'Hyu' is from Hyuuga, and 'Ten' is from TenTen. The junior I added on to make it look funny.

'Making The Beast With Two Backs' - It's a quote in the Shakespeare play, Othello. And it's mentioned in the American Dad Ep "Stan Of Arabia. It means having sex.