Chapter Five: Silly Romance Novels

Days passed, one after another, and Haruno Sakura was bored. B-O-R-E-D. Bored. She was rarely ever this way, having grown up in a family that practiced the philosophy that if you're bored, you must be a very boring person.

At the moment, the once pink-haired girl felt like the most boring person on the face of the universe. Her crew was off watch for the next four hours, which meant that she could technically do whatever she wanted. She didn't feel like sleeping, which was an amazing fact in and of itself because she loved sleep. As a ninja, it was one of the luxuries she indulged herself with when she was off-duty. Somehow, sleeping until midday had this forbidden sweet quality to it, and it felt terribly good.

Once again, she ran through her list of medicines in her head as well as the different names for the bones in the human body. There were about 206 bones in the body, depending on person to person. There were at least forty or so in the skull-she always got a kick out of saying those foreign names for the bones and memorizing where they were in the body. Like the vomer, for instance, which was at the end of the nose-they were funny foreign names, but cool names just the same.

To say she was restless would be an understatement. Sighing, she got out of her hammock and went to look through her small trunk for something-anything-to do. She sifted through a few articles of clothing and came across her secret stash of books and scrolls complete with romance novels, medicine journals, how-to books, and a few science fiction novels. Smiling a secret smile, she took out a romance novel that had been stripped of its cover because of the embarrassing picture on the front. Giggling to herself, she walked out of the forecastle clutching the book and headed to the foremast, where she climbed until she reached the junction between the foremast and the foresail. It was relatively lower than the other sails, but high enough above the deck to give her privacy without the seasickness.

She sighed as she settled into the little niche she had found and read indulgently. As a ninja, she had very little time or space in her life for a man, so reading romance novels that weren't quite as graphic as Kakashi-sensei's notorious Icha Icha Paradise was a rather relaxing past time for her. Most ninjas were married or were at least getting married at her age. Ino had told her just yesterday that she and Shikamaru planned to get married after this mission was over. Neji and Tenten had been married for two years and were expecting their first child, and last she heard, Naruto and Hinata were going to be married in the fall, which was just months away.

What she loved most about those romance novels was probably the fact that they were so perfect-it was always the idealized woman who got the man she wanted. They were sweet, cute, and fluffy-everything that was never a big part in her own life. Reading "trashy" novels like the one she had in her hand was an escape into a reality that could never be her own-the man she loved was obsessed with the death of his brother (which was pretty psychotic to her) and all the other men in her village were definitely not her ideal men.

Her ideal man was currently somewhere on the Sharingan, doing something she didn't know about, as usual.

You know what I don't understand? Asked Inner Sakura, scowling at the pages Sakura was reading.

"What," asked Sakura mentally to her bombastic inner self.

Why is it that girls are described as gems while boys are described as food? For example, that bloody author of this ridiculously quixotic romance novel used sapphires to describe the protagonist's eyes and rubies to describe her lips. I don't know about you, Sakura, but personally, I think it would be extremely uncomfortable to have rocks for lips. How can you possible eat?

Sakura laughed merrily. She herself would be indeed miserable without being able to eat. She loved food-a trait she picked up from eating ramen with Naruto all the time-and would not be able to live without food. Now that she thought of it, she was kind of hungry…

Better watch yourself, Inner Sakura said with an evil glint in her eyes, wouldn't want Ino making fun of your waistline now, would you? I mean, I'm pretty sure you've gained another inch-

"Shut up!"

A few pairs of eyes trained themselves on her from the deck as their owners heard her rather loud shout. Sakura blushed and ducked her head behind her book once more. Oh the curses of having an alter ego.

Her embarrassment caused her to totally neglect the fact that there was someone standing on the beam of the foresail next to her. Moments later, she saw the deck instead of the print of her romance novel. In horror, she looked up slowly, only to find a familiar crop of raven hair and onyx eyes.

Oh, there she went again, describing her Sasuke-kun with rocks. She must have been going insane. She said a quick prayer to Kami-sama that she would never become an author.

Her face flushed a dark pink color as she watched his eyes skim over the page. What would he think of her now? Would he look down on her for reading…dare she say it…trash that was incredibly similar to the accursed Icha Icha Paradise?

Inner Sakura was currently tugging at her hair and burying her face in pillows while slamming her fist down on whatever she could find. The outer Sakura, however, sadly did not have that luxury.

Sasuke lifted his eyes from the page and coolly raised his right eyebrow.

"You read this crap?" he asked in his usual monotone voice.

Inner Sakura bounced back at his comment. He dare insult her books! Blasphemy!

"What do you mean, 'crap?'" snapped Sakura, suddenly deciding to act on her inner self's desires, "it's a good book!"

"And she closed her eyes, hiding sapphire gems, ruby red lips parted and raven black hair was splayed around the pillow, contrasting milky-white skin-" he read, eyes glancing at her form to watch her reaction.

Sakura winced. "Point taken," she muttered, snatching the book back from him while blushing like a red tomato.

"A ninja shouldn't be wasting time on such things."

"You should mind your own business."

"You should learn when to shut up."

"You started it."

"Hn."

He stood there balancing on the beam, looking down at her. Unable to stand that he was looking down his nose at her, she stood up quickly.

Fate then decided to intervene, laughing at the two former teammates. She made the ship plunge into a wave, pitching its crew members around this way and that.

And of course, the incredibly cliché accidental event often found in those innocuous-looking little romance novels happened:

Haruno Sakura was thrown into an unsuspecting Uchiha Sasuke, whose arms instinctively folded themselves around her as he concentrated his chakra down to his feet in an effort to keep both of them upright.

And in an attempt to keep with the o-so-cliché storyline in romance novels, as the ship settled down again, Sakura had discovered that his arms had wrapped themselves slightly too high on her body and were currently resting where they really should not have been resting.

A vein popped on her forehead when she noticed, which was when Sasuke noticed as well. He withdrew his arms quickly, cheeks showing a slight pink color.

Seeing his embarrassment did not help Sakura's anger. No one-not even him-was allowed to touch her there! She drew back her fist and punched him with her inhuman strength straight into the deck.

"DID YOU WANT TO SEE GOD!"

Itachi smirked as he watched his foolish little brother fall down into the deck because of that new recruit's punch. It amused him to see that Sasuke was getting thrown around by some mere girl who grew up as a fisherman's daughter.

"Perhaps you will soon see why I did what I did, my foolish little brother," he said softly under his breath, mouth turned upward in a smirk.

He put a hand to the glass that separated him inside his cabin to the outside. With a finger, he traced the outline of his younger brother, who was currently lying on the deck with a giant bump on his head. Itachi was quite surprised that Sasuke had not gone through the deck with the power of the petite girl's punch.

The older man allowed himself a small smile as he watched the brown-haired kunoichi jump down thirty feet to see if his brother was alive.

"Maybe she'll be the one who'll make him understand," he thought as he turned his eyes away from the two, going back to his desk to plan for the next plundering mission they were to undertake.

After all, they were pirates.

Pirates without a real home to go back to.

"Look, I'm sorry, okay? Just quit being so freaking silent!" said Sakura in an exasperated voice. As much as she loved Sasuke, sometimes she really wanted to strangle him. He had the worst way to send people on guilt trips-him being completely silent while glaring at her was definitely a great way to send her off on an extremely long vacation to guiltland.

They were currently in the gallery of the ship where Sakura kept most of her medicinal supplies. Sasuke had escaped with a huge bump on the head, minor scars (if seven-inch cuts were considered little), and a few bruises and splinters here and there (more like everywhere, but that's beside the point). She was gingerly pulling out the splinters from his face and arms with a pair of sterilized splinters and healing them with small spurts of chakra. She was obviously not thinking when she punched her Sasuke-kun into the deck below.

"So…annoying," she heard him mutter under his breath. For good measure, she was extra vicious with a particular splinter, eliciting a small grunt of pain as she lifted it out. She smiled angelically as he glared at her, knowing that she had done it on purpose.

Sakura hummed as she worked, lightly touching Sasuke's skin as she healed him slowly. She could have gone a lot faster, yes, but she didn't really feel like it. She had not seen Sasuke for slightly under a decade, and in all honesty, that was too long a time to not see his handsome face. Spending time with him in silence was better than not spending any time with him at all.

As she took care of the wounds she had inflicted upon him, Sasuke drifted into his own thoughts. Why was this girl so familiar? Why did she have to be so similar to her, the girl-no, the woman-he had tried so hard to forget? Just as he was wiping his mind of that constantly smiling girl he left behind nine years ago, Fate decided to laugh at him and shove another girl so similar to her in his face. Yoshizumi Nami or whatever her name is was uncannily similar to Haruno Sakura, the girl who plagued his thoughts as he laid down in his hammock to rest. She had a slightly lower voice than Sakura, yes, but they spoke the same way and used the same phrases. The fact that she yelled "did you want to see God!" at him as he fell to the deck caught him by surprising, thus causing him to fall so hard onto the deck when normally, he would have simply flipped himself and landed gracefully as usual. Her brown eyes held the same twinkle as those bright green ones once did, and now, her soft touch was so reminiscent of the touches he received when he was a genin.

Confusion clouded his brain as he glared at her from under his eyelids. What right did she have to impersonate his Sakura?
"My Sakura?" he thought, "Since when was she ever mine in the first place?"

His turmoil did not go unnoticed by Sakura, who was watching him just as carefully as he was watching her. She was currently healing his larger cuts now, having made sure that all the splinters were out. She wondered if he had caught on, especially with her carelessness at her own choice of words. When they were in Konoha together, she always used that phrase, usually after Naruto did something stupid. A small smile graced her lips as she remembered at the little jokes she would play on her friends. Perhaps the innocent flower-sending she did around Valentine's Day three years ago was the best prank she had ever played.

"What are you so happy about, Yoshizumi," snapped Sasuke, annoyed that his fellow crewmember was so lighthearted while he was suffering pain by her hand. Nevermind the soft touches that were so familiar, those cuts and bruises still damn hurt. It was all her fault too-why did she get to be so carefree?

"Nothing, Sasuke-san."

He glared at her again, indicating that he wanted an answer. She sighed, only to smile again at the thought. The chicken-haired man quickly noted how her eyes gleamed with mischief like Sakura's once did when she did something devious that would give everyone a good laugh.

"Oh, it's nothing really. Just a small prank I played on my friends a few years back."

He sat in silence as she went on, thoughtlessly continuing to heal his rather scratched up body.

"It was getting really close to Valentine's Day, and I had this ridiculously stubborn pair of friends who just would not and could not admit that they liked each other. So I decided to stop by a flower shop and buy flowers for them and switched their names. Oh, that didn't make much sense…"

She drifted off, lost in her own memory. She had walked into Ino's flower shop with that distinctive look in her eyes, and Ino had caught on immediately. The two partners in crime picked out a dozen red roses and split them in half. She remember being so proud of her evil plot as she signed "Love, Naruto" on a sappy Valentine's Day card addressed to Hinata that would be attached to half a dozen roses. Ino grinned too as she wrote "Love, Hinata" on a similar card addressed to Naruto. Needless to say, the two friends were found out soon enough, but only after their poor victims had finally gotten together.

Sasuke was annoyed that she did not elaborate on her story, but he didn't feel like speaking anymore. It was too troublesome.

He groaned mentally. He was obviously spending too much time with Shikamaru.

A sudden wave of pain suddenly overcame him, jerking him out of his stupor.

"Hey, woman, what the hall are you doing?" he snapped at her, angry that what she was doing actually hurt.

It was then that he saw that overly familiar homemade ointment in her hand especially made for bruises. His eyes traveled up to her face, and he forced himself not to cringe as he saw that impish glint in her eyes.

He was definitely going to be up with a night of pain.

"Oh, this Sasuke-san? It's for your bruises-it works wonders, you know."

Sasuke grunted, training his mind and biting his tongue so that he would not scream as her nimble fingers pressed themselves into his bruises, coated in the foul-smelling and pain-causing ointment.

Naturally, the fact that only Sakura knew how to make such a devious ointment slipped his usually sharp mind.

A/N: Hehe! How was that for fluff:D It's very difficult to write fluff with Sasuke in character, but I tried! I hope I did alright!

I'm planning on rewriting chapter four again-same story line, just as a flashback though. It would allow for more details and everything, but I've been really busy lately. February is always hell month for me and the rest of those in IB. Seniors should know-those accursed IAs are due soon. My Latin one and my history one are due Monday and Tuesday (respectively) next week, so wish me luck as I hastily peruse through books to get everything done:) Please leave a review-it'd make me feel a whole lot better…

And now onto review responses! Aren't you excited! These will only be for chapter four-I'll be re-updating the other chapters later with review responses as well. Thank you all for being so patient!

Much love!

-Ivy

Seguha: Hope you liked this chapter :)

Animemistress419: Thanks!

December Jewel: (amused) Yay for pirates! Sorry about there not being too much action lately, but I'm trying to develop the plot a little before setting it all into motion. Hope you enjoyed this chapter!

Kurenai Chinoumi: Haha-thanks!

Queen Cow and Steak: Did I ever mention how much I love your pen name? It's hilarious! I love it! As I read more Naruto fics, I'm really starting to like Ino's character more and more, especially when she's paired up with Shikamaru. I'm not really sure why-maybe she just reminds me of myself! Haha :) I hope you liked this chapter-thank you for reviewing all the time!

Silvercage: Glad you liked it! I actually never thought of it before-it was a massive plot hole that I needed to get around. I'm happy that it didn't seem too awkward. Now I have to find a way to get that curse off him…(sighs) and shakes head: Oh the woes of plot holes. (sob) Thank you for being such a faithful reviewer! I think you've seriously reviewed every chapter! Cookies!

Ennariel: True, I've never seen Sasuke not suspicious. That's just part of his character, I suppose. Thanks for reviewing!