Caught by The Window
Disclaimer: I neither own Pilate nor Gilmore Girls. I am not that lucky.
Summary: What is Rory thinking about while Logan is in London?
Author's Note: I need some happiness and lit ness since this summer is filled with unforgivable depressiveness. Partings depressed me people!
End Game
Rory Gimore could not sleep. She certainly shouldn't have any trouble sleeping, she had a nice comfy Queen sized bed that was probably just as expensive as few months salary for some people. She wasn't sick nor was she in physical pain. She had family who loved her, and a boyfriend who was in love with her. She had nice shoes and she should have no worries. But she did.
She worried about how sullen her mother had become after the last speed bump in eternal bliss between Luke and Lorelai. She worried about how her friendship with Lane would change, now that she was a married woman. OF course she knew that it was stupid, but still she worried.
She worried that she may never see her boyfriend again, after her little tete a la tete with Mitchum. She didn't know what disgusted her more, that he felt the right to do his intervention, or that she almost agreed with him.
And worse of all, she worried that she had hurt Jess more than he ever hurt her. She could still feel the scorch marks on her heart that he had left, but that didn't compare to what she had caused.
He had done what everyone told him to do. He got a real job, an apartment, friends, and everything was there for him, and with two visits by herself, she felt she had ruined that.
She wanted to fix it, but the only thing that would fix it, now, was her to tell him feelings she wasn't sure she had. Or maybe she was just afraid to say them out loud, because that would mean it was true.
She would always have feelings for Jess, but she had Logan. He was amazing, just as smart and talented as Jess was. The difference was he knew who he was, and where he was going. There wasn't so much emotional baggage. Or maybe it was just different.
As much as Jess 's sudden departure from my life three years ago had hurt, jess had never cheated, had never actively lied to the level that Logan had. Jess never felt he had the wright to do it too, luckily Jess wasn't born with the major ego that every male Huntzberger were born with.
Rory had to smile at the image of the Jess she had seen when she had gone to the poetry reading. His hair no longer gelled to the extreme, and his whole stance was different from the one she had grown to love.
Jess knew who he was, and worst of all, he had done it without her.
She still remembers what that kiss felt like. It was simple and sweet and everything she had wanted back. Tried to get back with Dean and denied that she wanted when she was with Logan.
Logan made sense to her. He was in the same area as her, even if he didn't like to admit it, he still felt the pull that she felt, when a good story came around. Journalism was in his blood, and she wanted that too. But what her brain wanted and her heart was two different things.
She wanted to talk about books with jess again. Their eternal struggle between Rand and Hemmingway still excited her. She wanted to pull him against the side of Lukes, near the alley and kiss him senseless and then skip home, knowing that she was the one that made Jess crazy.
Not crazy because she had hurt him or disappointed him or even perplexed him, she wanted the crazy that only lust and longing brought. Rory wondered if they could even have a relationship? It always seemed that they would hit a plateau and then things would fall apart.
A friend of hers once said that she had this theory, that everyone had a certain point in a relationship where things started to get hard or change. For Rory it was never a month, or a particular date. It was always because of fate, destiny, kismet, whatever you want to call it. She could never get to that point when it was a question if things woulod go smoothly.
Rory was lulled into a sense of security. She had it with Dean and then Jess came back to Stars Hallow and kissed her. She had it with Jess and then things all fell apart in a split second. It happened with Dean and then with any guy who showed interest. At times she felt like she was cursed. That no Gilmore Girl could truly be happy.
Logan was different. She hated it him first. He was smug and unpredictable and unsafe in a way she had never seen before. But just as different as it was, it had the same symptoms as most of her relationships. She still waited for him to call and he felt like he had done anything wrong, and who was she to tell him any differently.
So it seems that Rory had to make a decision. She was tired and so it really came to the point when she asked herself; was she ready to face the truth or not?
It was two days later when Rory finally made her decision. She had asked Lane first, and after Rory having to tell her friend three times all the twists and turns that had hit her and jess in the last three years, Lane gave her the look that she had perfected over the years.
'To stay with someone who will possibly cheat on you andis not actually there, or someone who keeps on coming back for you, who can't forget about you? Gee I wonder Ror.'
And then she went and asked her mother, what she thought. She figured that her mom would tell her to kick Logan to the curb and ignore Jess completely.
But Lorelai Gilmore is anything but predictable. At first she didn't say anything and she almost looked sad, and then she smiled. 'follow your heart babe. Even for a second do you think you will regret not going after Jess, then I think you have an answer.'
Rory had sat on the couch and pretended to watch Princess Bride with her mom while thinking about Logan. Was she happy with Logan? Then a simple reminded or Jess made her break out in an ear to ear smile, and she knew her answer.
She suddenly got up and looked around. It was late but that didn't seem to matter to her at the moment. Her mom smiled. 'it's ok kid, I'll be fine. Go get your man.'
Rory ran to get her purse and her mom handed her a road map of the surrounding states. 'Call me.' Her mom yelled as Rory ran out of the house.
Lying here tonight,
lying here tonight it's all you think of,
Parading through these lights and
Parading through these lights it's all you think of.
For chance has laid its cold hand upon your shoulder,
It's now your right, to watch falling sands, you're getting older.
Suddenly surprised, suddenly surprised by these mires,
It's a funny thing this life, you're catching up with time, do you tire?
You were caught by the window…
Endgame by Pilate