The Patakis Chapter 5: Ep5: Phoebe Otaku, a hey arnold fanfic

Author's Note: First off, I want to say this first: I have nothing against the your average anime fan, whom I am friends with. Naruto sucks. But I do however, have some beef with the more... obsessive one. You know, the militant ones, who thinks that anime, J-Pop and Japan are everything to them. Naruto sucks. This fic is kinda about something that I want to vent about them. Right about now, you're probably thinking that I'm one of those casual guys who watches Dragon Ball or Samurai X. While it may be true, I also have several anime fansubs in my collection. I also have watched some animes that hasn't been licensed in the States yet, thanks to my friends. Naruto sucks. A lot of American cartoons have satirized anime as shown in Dexter's Lab, Angry Beavers, and the most obvious of all, Megas XLR, but in their context, they're parodiying the anime show as a whole. In this fic however, I'm satirizing their fanbase. That's what I'm heading to. Also, I've been watching a lot of Genshiken lately, and I thought, eh, it might be fun. Did I mention how Naruto sucks? To all of you non-geeks out there, I bid you welcome to geek subculture 101 - Otaku.

Legal junk: I don't own Hey Arnold, but Nickelodeon does and Mr. Craig Bartlett created it. But this fic belongs to me. Clear? Good.

Episode 5: Phoebe Otaku

Helga opened her closet and threw her CD case on a couple of unused pillows stacking together. The case then slid to left and fell onto a pile of CD cases of her favorite bands. Her closet held a lot of memories for her, since it was in this place where she spent countless upon countless of hours writing poetry, saying romantic soliloquy to herself and worshipping her love, Arnold, during her childhood. This was her ultimate getaway, a sort of sanctuary for her leave reality for a while. All the memories began to channel into her mind. She shook her head and laughed softly thinking how stupid was she back in her younger years for constructing a giant Arnold shrine out of garbage that she found littered on the streets and snippets of things that she collected from her beloved. Poor guy, and she ruined his shirt and hair too.

But that was all in the past now, and her feelings for Arnold were mostly underground now. All of her tremendous energy of love for him was locked deep within her heart after he moved away to San Lorenzo. But she do hope someday she would go and meet Arnold and restart the insanities again, this time with the person she loved rather than that pathetic replica she made and was thrown out after she entered middle school. She closed the closet door, and checked a message board on her laptop. Her faith in humanity dropped significantly after she read a certain posted message, and it was at this point that she felt like to stay away from technology for the time being. So she grabbed her pen and piece of paper, and started to write away to Arnold.

Konichi-wa Arnold-san,

I'm gonna spare the explanation of the greeting since it's pretty much well known throughout the world, or at least, every nerd circle worldwide. Arnold-chan, have you ever been to Japan before? You know, the stock Asian country in Hollywood movies and where ninjas come from? I had an interesting stint with its culture last week, with the courtesy goes to Phoebe and Eugene. Well, it's more about their pop-culture actually. We're talking about absolute weirdness here: quirky videogames, J-pop music videos that really made you question the zaniness of those singers, and last but not least, their all-powerful export: no, not cars and electronic devices you dolt, anime!

Eugene was mad at me when I called them 'Japanese cartoons'. I mean, what's wrong with that? It's still a cartoon, only it is made in Japan, so I really don't see the difference between the two of them. Well, except for one difference, that Japanese ones are certainly a lot flashier than American cartoons. Eh, whatever. I'd rather have that lunatic Eugene debate over it. Saw his username on a message board, he's been going out on a flame war with some other guy saying American cartoons are better than anime. These people really need to get out, seriously. Man, if I was a moderator on that board, I wouldn't hesitate to IP ban them out. And I thought Eugene was one of the most ethical Intarwebs users around. I guess I was wrong.

Anyhoo, after Eugene introduced to Phoebe to some of those Japanese Cartoons, all the shenanigans broke loose. SHENANIGANS! Man, I love that word. Phoebe became just as obsessed as he was to the point where I was completely being freaked out by her. I blame Eugene for this and his ridiculous hijinks. Phoebe seems to take her obsession moderately now, thanks to me. Har har. You wanna know how did these shenanigans (SHENANIGANS!) started? Phoebe and Eugene are in the same class for the Japanese Language class in school…

So the bell rang, and the students got up from their seats. The class was a Japanese Language class just introduced last year in Elk High as it was recommended by a teacher of a Japanese descent and it received an overwhelming support by the Anime Club. Elk High was one of the few high schools that offered Japanese language in the city. And due to this, Eugene was really thankful for it. Phoebe was the same. But the both of them had different reasons why they wanted to learn the language. As an anime fan and everything related to it, it was necessary for Eugene to learn the language. Phoebe on the other hand, just wanted to learn her native tongue which she sparsely spoke with her father from time to time.

"Okay class, that'd be all for today. Please do the assignments that I've told you earlier during class. O-daijini nasatte kudasai! Gokigen yo." the young female teacher replied as she tilted her head slightly to the left with a broad smile on her face with her eyes closed. Every guy in class thought she was hot. Phoebe was walking with Eugene out from the class. Eugene flipped some pages repeatedly of a book he was holding, being confused by some of the words in it. He then asked Phoebe.

"Pheebs, can you help me with this?" he then showed the page to Phoebe. She was stunned a little bit.

"Eugene, this is kanji, the hardest form of writing in Japanese. Heck, I don't even understand it myself!" she returned the book back to Eugene, "And our class doesn't cover this topic at all. Although I'm impressed that you're taking the liberty of learning it yourself, but why do you burden yourself with the extra effort? You should ease yourself by practicing with romaji first."

"I don't know… I feel like it, I guess." He shrugged.

"You feel like it?" Phoebe replied disbelievingly. "Or there is a sinister ulterior motive behind that plot…" she guessed jokingly.

"Uh… well actually, I don't really know." He replied back. I've been watching a lot of animes recently and… I'm intrigued by the culture I guess."

"Just from watching anime? I never really interested in watching those shows. Sure, I played lots of Japanese RPGs from time to time, but I never once have a desire to watch those shows on television."

"Heh, I don't watch animes on TV a lot myself because the English voice acting really turns me off. I prefer the original Japanese seiyuu to voice the show and with fansubs to accompany the story." said the elitist fanboy. "Hey, speaking of animes, how about if I lend to you some of my own that I downloaded from the internet?"

"Oh, I don't know Eugene…" she tried to refuse politely, "I don't fancy those shows—"

"Ah, come on, Pheebs. You'll like it when after you see it." he encouraged her. He tried to bring her to the dark side.

"Oh… okay." She smiled, and she finally crossed over to the dark side. "I know animes comprises a lot of genres, so I think I'll be specific on my choice. Do you have any anime that is humorous and somewhat cute-ish…?"

"Ah, I think I have just the anime you wanted. May I recommend Azamanga Dayoh and Chii-bits?"

"I haven't heard of them before." Phoebe replied back, "Is it any good?"

"Ooh, it is very good…" he replied back with a subtle malicious tone.

"Okay, if you insist. I'll drop by your at house after school and get hold of them later, okay?" She then saw Gerald walking toward them and she quickly excused herself, "See you later, Eugene."

"Yeah, see ya." He lifted a hand to wave at Phoebe and Gerald. He then stopped walking and looked at the both of them chatting as they walked away. He then thought to himself, "Heh, she's smart, cute, talented, likes videogames and is starting to watch animes. That's rare for a girl." He smiled to himself, but in spite of all that, he had his heart set for someone else. He then continued walking alone to his locker. He accidentally tripped over by his own shoelaces. "I'm okay…"

Two days later…

Tsukarekitta kao hizamakurashite ageru
Minna niwa naisho ni shite wo ite ageru
HERO suki na dake you are my BOYFRIEND
Kamitsuite ii yo

She was listening to a J-Pop song from a very popular J-pop singer. It had been two days since Eugene lent his anime CDs to Phoebe but she had yet to watch it, and the CDs was placed neatly next to her computer, collecting dust. She was using her computer right now, writing creepy yaoi lemon fanfic of her favorite videogame. After writing a few paragraphs over, she suddenly developed author's block, and she decided that she should stop writing right now, and to unwind herself. She lay back to the seat and placed her feet on it as she rocked herself softly. She then looked around and saw Eugene's CDs next to the computer. Should she? She shrugged and thought, what the heck, since had nothing to do right now. She ejected the CD tray out and put the anime titled Azamanga Dayoh in.

"Kyaah, Cheeyo-chan! Kawaii desu nee!" one of the crazy characters said to a kid who apparently went to high school at a very young age. And Phoebe just got hooked. "Kyaa, kawaii!" Phoebe said to herself, and her interest in anime expanded to great heights.

III

So on the next morning, which was a weekend thankfully, Phoebe and Helga was seen at the park, jogging together. Helga had her Mp3 player with her, but she put the volume on low so she could have a conversation with Phoebe. She on the other hand, had no electronic gadgets attached to her, since she felt listening to music while jogging was troublesome. So they jogged across the path through the open grass area, over the lake and to the woods, talking about whatever's on their mind. Phoebe, who liked to open up to her best friend, began to tell Helga about what she did yesterday, with the extremely private matter like being a closet yaoi fangirl were left out.

"Eugene lent me some of his shows yesterday." She said to Helga as they jogged.

"What? That silly dorky Enterprise show? That show is so passé now, Pheebs. Right now everybody is watching that Battlestar something-or-other show. Heck, even my sister is watching it."

"No. Animes Helga, animes."

"Wait, let me guess: it must be that dumb show where they shout incoherent banters and throwing farts at each other, right?"

"Gosh Helga, nobody watches Dragoon Ballz anymore. I'm talking about animes that haven't been released in the States, which I had the opportunity to watch a couple of them yesterday. And suffice it to say, it is very… interesting."

"Lemme guess, they throw farts at each other too?"

"No, Helga." She replied, started to get annoyed by Helga's ignorant assumptions. "The shows I saw yesterday were very cute and funny to watch. I literally rolled on the floor laughing (ROFL)."

Helga wasn't interested at Phoebe's little story at all. She then began to hum the song that was playing on her Mp3 player, trying to ignore her friend's remark. Phoebe noticed it, and scoffed. Helga really was uninterested at her story at all. She then tried to forget the whole thing and let her mind wandered off. In school, there was already an Anime Club by the time she entered high school. And since her interest in anime was increasingly burgeoning, would it be wise for her to join the club? It purely based on interest and non-profit, so she thought there was nothing to lose.

"Helga, do you join any clubs in school?" Phoebe asked her.

"Hmm… aside from having a job as the head editor for the crappy school paper I'm doing… no. I mean, think about it, every time some wannabe journalist reported some stupid crap like about how Rhonda Lloyd is advocating Democrats makes me wanna puke. Why can't they pick some other interesting stories like 'Poverty situation in school' or 'Poor equipments in Science Lab are to blame for constant explosion' or something? But noooooooo, they just had to pick Rhonda, the most popular girl in school. What a bunch of attention 'grabbers'. And I have to force myself to read those trashy articles because I'm the head editor! If it wasn't for the ethical codes, I would've burn those articles with a blowtorch, stomp them repeatedly and scatter their ashes to the wind right now."

Phoebe raised an eyebrow at her friend, "Are you done spiting off Rhonda, Helga?"

She shrugged, "Pretty much, yeah. So what's your problem? Why did you ask me that? You joined the Dueler's Club, didn't you?"

"Yeah, but I feel I need to expand, something that involves hobbies and such. I think I want to join the school's Anime Club, Helga." The Anime Club was also one of the very few high school anime clubs in the city.

Helga was stunned and stopped jogging as Phoebe continued on, leaving her behind. Her eye left twitched uncontrollably. "Why?" Helga asked disbelievingly as she spread her arms. She then started running again trying to catch up with Phoebe.

"Well…"Phoebe replied, "I have a new interest now, and perhaps by joining the club I could share my passion for it to the people who are likeminded as me."

"Passion?" Helga raised an eyebrow, "Man, she really has gone to the deep end." She thought, "Hey, you do whatever you like Pheebs, just don't drag me along to those verily…" she paused awhile trying to think a suitable word to describe those people. Weird, yes. Insane, yes. Psychotic, yes. Creepy, yes. Eccentric, yep. And she chose the last word since she wouldn't want to offend her friend, "…Eccentric individuals."

Phoebe comprehended her friend's unenthusiastic reply. Maybe it just wasn't her thing. It would be pointless for Phoebe to venture further to invite her friend into the club she was contemplating to join. "Well Helga, I'm disappointed that you don't share the same sentiment as I do, but I will go anyway and join them."

"Suit yourself. You're ain't gonna see Helga G. Pataki anytime soon joining those kind of clubs." Suddenly a football hit the side of her head and she fell down.

"Kyaaaah! Helga!" Phoebe shouted in shock as she placed both of her fists just below her chin.

"Oh crap!" someone shouted, "Dude, you just hit Helga on the head!" Park shouted to someone.

"Aw, man! Why does it have to be Helga?" Gerald said frightfully. Helga had this reputation of always kicking the crotch of her male friend when they made her angry and stuff. And they couldn't fight back due to reasons obviously known. That would be the reason why guys were scared of her.

"Harold! Go over to her and— Harold?" Sid saw Harold already in the distance, running away quickly from the scene.

"I swear I'll get the guy who did that to me!" Helga shouted angrily as she got up, with the help from Phoebe. "I swear to EVERYTHING THAT IS HOLY I will get him!"

Phoebe tried to find the location of the Anime Club that Eugene sketched a small map on a piece of paper she was holding. It leaded to the computer room. And there was something written on the paper that instructed to her that she could only go there only in the specific time given. She was skeptical about it. Was Eugene playing tricks on her? But then she thought, Eugene had a reputation of being such a nice guy, and he wouldn't do such a thing like that to her. So she arrived at the mentioned place and stood in front of the door. After building some courage, she gave a soft knock on the door. A gravely "Come in," was heard. It was probably Eugene playing around her, she thought and she opened the door.

The room was large in size, brightly lit, with bookcases to the right, a small television at the corner of the room next to the window, and a table in the front where there were seven likeminded people like her was talking amongst themselves, reading manga and doujinshi and playing a board game called RISK©. And they were all male. Phoebe then closed the door behind her and the sound it made alerted the guys in front of her. They turned to the door, and they were completely stunned.

"A FEMALE?" somebody said incredulously.

"ENTERING OUR LITTLE CONGREGATION?" another one said.

"THE APOCALYPSE IS NIGH!" he shouted as he stood, raising both of his hands. Phoebe widened her eyes in horror and jiggled around the doorknob behind her to open it and ran away from this horrifying place.

"Relax, Phoebe. Eugene told us you'd be coming today." The person who rose up from his seat said, laughing. "We're just jest with ya." And the whole room exploded with laughter as Phoebe laughed back embarrassedly. Then four girls came from their hiding behind the bookcases and joined the laughter. They seemed to be a laid-back, friendly bunch, Phoebe thought to herself.

"Hi, I'm the President of the Anime Club." He introduced to Phoebe. They shook hands.

"But the official name for this club is called 'Society for the Study of Modern Visual Culture'; just to keep the soccermoms away from pestering us." The person next to the President added as he clicked his tongue.

"Hi, it's good to see there's yet another girl who's into this madness." One of the girls joked and she introduced herself, "I'm into cosplaying. Actually, all the four of us are into cosplaying. The guys don't like cosplaying much since they prefer to be on the sidelines and watch, 'cept for that guy." She pointed to a guy behind Phoebe, "he's into crossplaying." Phoebe widened her eyes in horror.

"Yeah, people tend to see me as weird, but in truth, I'm just having fun." The guy who loved crossplay said, smiling at Phoebe.

After the warm welcomed she received from everyone, she then began to explore the computer room. The fanboys/girls gave her a few ring files with lots of burned anime CDs in it. "My goodness, is this all of your collection?" The collection was big enough to impress her.

"Not really. We have plenty more at our houses, since we really don't bring our stuff here, due to security concerns."

"I see…" she replied back, smiling. "So, which one of you know Eugene?"

"That'd be me." The guy who loved to crossplay said. "Actually, all of us are. He's a member of our club too."

"Yeah, he is the one who introduced me to these things. At first I was indifferent to this club since I never really like anime much but after Eugene introduced me to them, I became hooked. I never knew anime would be this much fun."

"Was Eugene the first person that got you familiarized with these things?" one of the girls asked her.

"No… actually, I played console RPGs beforehand, so I have at least a little bit knowledge about anime, but I'm not full-blown fan back then."

"Well you're among friends now, and in here we call ourselves otakus." The President smiled to her. "So if you want to borrow some anime shows from us, feel free to ask. Would you like to join us in playing a resounding game of RISK©? Or would you like to partake in a resounding conversation of debating the philosophical nature of Neo Evangetiger?"

"Umm…" Phoebe tried to contemplate. Then suddenly a painful, shrieking noise was heard outside of the computer room. Most of them were surprised by the noise and wanted to find out what actually happened outside. So one of them opened the door and saw Harold holding a hand in between his legs trying to hold the excruciating pain. They also saw Helga walking away with a satisfied smirk across her face, with some shadows obscuring it. Harold was lying on his side while holding his crotch, trying to bear the agonizing pain. He then released a pain-retching shout of hurtfulness out loud, "HOLY NUTS!"

People who stood around him sympathized, and yet there were a few jerks that couldn't stop laughing. Sid and Park who just so happened to walk by the crowd and saw Harold writhing on the floor in pain. Helga must've got her revenge, they both thought as they cringe at the thought of him getting his crotch kicked by Helga. Then the both of them helped him get up and brought him to the nurse's office.

A couple of weeks later, Helga began to suspect that Phoebe might have been avoiding her lately, though she wouldn't presume that her new interest was the reason behind their somewhat fractured friendship. It was lunch hour in school and Phoebe wasn't at their usual meeting place – her locker.

"She must've gone to the bathroom or something…" she said to herself, shrugging. She felt mighty hungry right now, so she walked over to the cafeteria alone without her best friend. She kinda felt awkward and stuff since Phoebe wasn't next to her listening to her rant and vent. But then she saw her best man, Gerald, looking just as confused as she was as he scratched the back of his head, as if he was looking for something. Or rather, someone. He then saw Helga in front of him and stopped at his tracks.

"Pheebs ain't at her locker, ain't it?" Helga said to him.

"Yeah…" he replied back, "I've been wondering about it too." And they then walked with each other. It was kind of surprising that they were actually talking without exchanging snide sarcastic banters to each other. Yes, thought they weren't as hostile as Helga was with Rhonda, but the indifference between them always kept them from being… nice, to put it simply.

"So what's got into that girl?" Gerald asked her, "I rarely see her nowadays." He shook his head, "But when I got the chance to meet her, she said she's just a'right, and took off. I've never seen her like that before."

"Amazing, Gerald, amazing." Helga nodded, "I've never seen you so concerned about her wellbeing before." Which also perplexed her because if they were this intimate, why were they still in denial about their relationship?

"Has she been taking some questionable substances lately?" Gerald made a moot guess.

"Phoebe? Haha!" Helga laughed, "That's funny! You're funny! Knowing her, I don't think she's going to touch that stuff in a million years."

"So if you know her so much, could you at least tell me what's happening to Phoebe?" Gerald asked her as he pushed the cafeteria doors away to get in. They stopped at their tracks just as soon as they saw her sitting at the table with her new set of cliques.

"Well Gerald my man, I guess that answers your question." Helga smiled snidely at him.

"Oh, she's hanging out with Eugene… and his weird friends." he said in relief, "I think no harm will come to her." he said to calm himself up. But it was a different tale in his heart, where jealousy slowly began to develop. But then again, he was jealous of Eugene? The very thought amused him. Eugene had this reputation of being such a nice guy, that nobody would ever thought of him to be the despicable person who backstabbed you and left you behind to die. He trusted Eugene. Phoebe was just probably being nice to him and his friends. And if the attitudes of Eugene's friends were just as same as his, then he had nothing to worry about.

He let a big sigh of relief out, and smiled. Then somebody smacked his back, and said to him, "Dude, so when Phoebe ignores you, you go to some other chick? Man, aren't you a playa?" Robert said playfully.

"Would you like to feel a high degree of pain in between your legs, Rob?" Helga turned to him and scowled at him. "I would gladly volunteer to show you how it feels like."

"Man, Helga." Robert replied back, "The thing that you did to Harold couple of weeks ago was totally uncalled for. The football accidentally hit your head, you know. It's not like he did it intentionally."

"Well, if it was an accident, don't you think he should come over to me and apologize instead of running away like someone who just committed murder?"

"Still, what you did to him was unjustifiable." He shook his head, as Gerald nodded his head to concur with him, "A word of advice Helga, maybe Arnold is right: you should try to be nicer from time to time."

Helga was stunned. Why the heck was Arnold brought into this? "What the…?" he raised an eyebrow, "What's the Football Head got to do with this?"

"Heh, look at that." Gerald said to Robert, smiling while pointing to Helga with his thumb, "She still uses that old grade school moniker she used to call him." the both of them chuckled. Helga looked at the both of them irritably.

"Well Helga," Robert replied, smiling at her, "Arnold is the only person I know that can deal with you in a more 'professional' way," he made quotation fingers, which he wanted to kick himself for doing that, "so to speak. He gives you advice, he talks to you with a calm and content face, almost like a saint— and you, would most likely follow his advice, of all people."

"And besides," Gerald added, "if he's still around here instead of being in San Lorenzo, he'd save us most of the trouble, because he's your favorite target!" he smiled snidely at him.

"Ah… good ol' Arnold." Robert looked upwards, sighed in a satisfied sigh-like quality to it, as he reminisce the memories. He then wrapped his hand around Gerald's shoulder and walk away, leaving Helga behind in XTREME irritation, holding her anger in.

"What they say is true, Helga." Somebody said behind her. She turned around and saw Rhonda looking at her with an evil-like smirk. "What I've seen and observe, you've always been weak around Arnold. Oh, don't retort to me that you always scowled and threatened him when he talked to you. I mean, when was the last time you actually hit him? Never, M I RITE? He isn't intimidated by you at all. In fact, in my opinion, I think you're the one who is intimidated by him."

Helga's face was reddened with anger and rage. Nadine, who was sitting with Rhonda, could feel the electricity of XTREME anger came from Helga, but Rhonda remained oblivious about it. Nadine quickly lifted her lunch tray up and fled away from the table. Rhonda was all alone now, continuing to smile sardonically at him. "And besides, Helga, I don't think you're angry at Gerald and Robbie right now. You're just angry 'cause your best friend is hanging out with some other people and leaving you behind." That comment was the last straw. Helga then grabbed the unfinished carton of milk from Rhonda's tray and poured all of its contents on her.

"AHHH! EWW!" Rhonda shouted in disgust as everyone in the cafeteria looked at them. After the carton was empty she coolly threw it to Rhonda on the face.

"Your opinions are ugly and wrong, wench." Helga said irately, as Rhonda gazed at her homicidally as she exhaled through her clenched teeth, XTREMELY furious at what she did to her. Helga then turned around and left her, but just as soon as that, Rhonda jumped on her and a fight ensued.

"Another day, another Rhonda-Helga fight." Sid said with a satisfied smile as he watched them fighting from afar with the companions of his friends. "Life just doesn't get any better than this."

"Hear, hear." All of them nodded approvingly.

"Man, I love this school…" Sid said again, smiling. Then a teacher came rushing to them and broke the fight up, and it ended almost immediately.

"Aw, for crying out loud, not you two AGAIN!"

Amidst the fiasco, Gerald again looked at Phoebe back, and saw her looking at Helga worriedly as she had her hand over her mouth in shock. Even though his worries were diminished after he learned she was only hanging out with Eugene, another of his good friends, he still was concerned a little bit. He could feel a little bit of déjà vu. Phoebe's actions were completely parallel with his actions when he was in fourth grade, obsessive over a hobby that it fractured his friendship with Arnold. He wouldn't want something similar to happen to Phoebe. He must consult with Helga after this.

Kimi no yume ga kanau no wa
dareka no kage janai ze
kaze no tsuyoi hi wo era nde
hashitte kita

There was nothing but silence in the computer room, as everyone minded their own business. But the image of Helga fighting Rhonda couple of days ago still lingered in their mind. The otakus then looked at Phoebe while she was reading a manga. She then felt uneasy, like she was being watched or something. She looked around, while not moving her head and the manga away, and saw everybody in the room staring at her, in a disbelief-like gaze. She tried to ignore it, but couldn't. With an annoyed tone, she lowered the book down and said to all of them, "NANI… Ittai nani o kangate iru no ka?" she said through her clench teeth. Every now and then a usually calm girl like her would release her anger once in a while.

The people in the room looked at each other, and were quite reluctant to answer back. Then they all looked at Eugene since he was the one knew Phoebe the most, but he shook his head and pointed to the President. The President let out a nervous sigh, and asked Phoebe:

"We've been wondering… are you really Helga's best friend…?"

Phoebe raised eyebrow, "Hai…" she replied back, asking herself why they were asking this question. "Why do you ask?"

The President looked at his friends, and replied," Uh… nothing. She's just… very different from you…" Phoebe rolled her eyes.

After that, one of the cosplay girls asked, "Phoebe-san, uh… there's an Anime convention this weekend at the Convention Center, would you like to come?"

She beamed back, "I'd love to! Maybe I'll try cosplaying as well!"

Everyone's face brightened, "Really? Omigosh, that'd be so cool! Do you have any ideas of what character are you going to cosplay?"

"I don't know, but these past few days, I've narrowed down to two decisions, Fuu from Samurai Shampoo and Haruko from Fool's Cool."

"Phoebe-chan, you really should go with Fuu!" Eugene said to her, "You already have the natural hair color but I think finding a yukata would be problem for you…"

"Eugene, do not fret, I already own a yukata that I wear for the Bon Odori festival that I go annually with my parents. Yeah, and I believe you are right, Eugene… maybe I do look good as Fuu." Phoebe smiled at them. Then the bell rang. "Oh, I got to go. I have class right now. Itte rasshai!" she waved at them, and the otakus replied back with a "Itte mairimasu!" and "Ki o tsukete!" collectively as they waved back to Phoebe. She then exited the computer room, and ran into Helga.

"WHOA!" she shouted back in shock as she darted backwards away from her. Some of Helga's books and papers dropped on the floor. She had a sort of a culture shock look on her face. She hadn't seen her in days, but Helga was very surprised to see Phoebe changed drastically in her appearance in the very short period of time. She was wearing this really J-pop-ish outfit, nearly in a kogal like appearance, similar to the Puffy Amy Yummy girls. No wonder everyone in Anime Club stared her in disbelief, but it was oblivious to Phoebe. Phoebe then quickly came to Helga and helped her out.

"Pheebs… what the heck happened to you?" she asked disbelievingly as she picked her paperwork up.

"Don't you like my new appearance?" she answered back at her nonchalantly.

"Man… you've been totally brainwashed…" Helga replied as she looked her. "This is getting way out of hand. You're totally obsessed, Phoebe."

She then glared at her, "Helga, I'm surprised you're not being more understanding." she said as she gave her the final piece of paper. She then walked over to her locker as Helga followed her from behind.

"Not being more UNDERSTANDING? Phoebe, look at you!" she yelled back, throwing her arms in front of her, "A few days ago the Phoebe I know would never succumb and emulate things from popular culture because she likes to be herself. But now, what I see in front of my eyes is a total opposite of that person! You've changed from watching those cartoons, Pheebs."

"It's not cartoons, Helga!" She spat back, "It's A-NI-ME!"

"You think I give a crap about how's it pronounced? Your obsession gets the best of you, man! And I see you've been avoiding me lately, going to that computer class doing…" she paused for a moment since she didn't know what Phoebe was doing inside, "whatever stuff that I don't even want know about!"

"What's so wrong if I just so happened to be active in the anime club? You think you can dictate my life and expected me to follow you around the whole time?" she replied back with rage.

"No, Pheebs!" Helga spat back, "I'm just concerned that you're being very militant in your obsession!"

"Baka! I'm not being confrontational in defending my hobby!" she replied back angrily. "With you continuously condemning it I feel obligated to defend it from a narrow-minded person such as yourself!"

Helga was shocked at the final remark. She tried to counter it back as she pointed her index finger to her menacingly, but she withdrew it back. She was defeated, and she felt all hope was lost for her friend. "You know what? Fine!" she spread her arm wide, "I'm just trying to help, Pheebs. Gerald was right, you really have changed." She then gave her a final glare and abruptly left her. Phoebe on the other hand, was stunned. Gerald actually said that about her?

So after school, Helga was seen walking alone from school. After the spat with Phoebe just now, she felt that that she should stay away from her for a while, and let things cool off a little. Maybe she was overreacting. Maybe she was being a narrow-minded person for not liking Phoebe's new appearance. The last thing she would want was a fractured friendship with her best friend.

"Hey…" someone said to her, and she turned around. It was Gerald.

"Oh, it's you. Sup'?" she then let Gerald walk with her.

"How come you're not taking the bus home?" Gerald asked her.

"I don't know. How come you're not taking the bus home?" she asked back.

"Thought you might need company, since Phoebe isn't here with you right now."

"Oh yeah, thanks a lot." She replied sarcastically. "I feel so much better now."

Gerald chuckled a bit, "Still surprised at Pheebs? I could relate. She's been avoiding me too."

"That's because she hates you." She replied back jokingly. Gerald gave her a smile.

"So I overheard you and Phoebe fighting in the hallway a few hours back—"

"Stalker…" she interjected.

Gerald still smiled at her, "I think you really should do something about her, girl. The same thing happened to me when I was in the fourth grade, obsessing with The King Rules. But I still do playing it though, but not as fanatical as I used to be."

"Man… a cool, laid-back, popular guy like you played a nerdy card game like that? That pretty much shattered every perception I have about you, man."

"Girl, a lot of cool guys play nerdy games too." He replied back coolly, "Like Vin Petrol, he's a Mazes and Monsters fan and he's not ashamed to admit it."

"I don't like where this conversation is going. What's the point you're trying to prove here?" Helga asked him.

"I was going to tell you a story about a kid who got so obsessed with his card game that he nearly lost a good friend of his. But then you diverted the conversation to something else."

"Oh, please do tell me about the kid. I assume it has witty anecdotes with moral values in it."

Gerald smiled at her and started the story, "So, there was once upon a time where there was this one kid," he referred to himself in third person, "who got so obsessed with a popular card game that he ditched and avoided his best friend for weeks just to fulfill his addiction. He went to some obscure place in and deal—"

"Are we still talking about card games here?" Helga raised an eyebrow, thinking about something else. Addiction? Obscure place? Dealing? Sounded pretty much like something else to her.

"Yes, it's still about card games man, so don't interrupt." He replied back, with a soft scoff, "And deal cards with his ragtag group of mischief, whilst wearing renaissance clothing."

"Sounds 'sexy'."

"He became The King, the best card player there was. He became obsessed so much that he wouldn't want his title to be dethroned by someone else. So he began to play cards all day all the time, honing skills and whatnot, leaving no room for him to hang out with his friends."

"Somehow, I can see your story is being connected to my situation right now…" she replied back sarcastically.

"His best friend then realized it, and decided that he should help him with his addiction. So he learned the rules of the game by himself, and met him in a duel of epic proportions. He put the final cards down, deliberately wanting himself to lose, just to see whether his best friend would want to humiliate him. If he lost, he'd be the court jester running in his underwear as a punishment for losing. This produced moral conflict on The King."

"Elvis?" she guessed playfully.

"No, no. The King of the card game. So his best friend said to The King, 'Pull back? Why should I pull back? I already lost my best friend to this card game. I mean, it's just a game, right?'" he made an Arnold impersonation, "So then The King realized that his best friend was right the whole time, he got too obsessed with it that it took a toll on his friendship."

"So what did The King do?"

"I calmly got up, and shook his hands, and left the place with him. Arnold was right: getting too fanatical and obsessive can be hazardous. And I'm thankful to have a friend that would never give up on me. That's why Helga, I think you really need to try and help Phoebe."

"There's no way I'm ever going to beat her at her own game. The situation just doesn't call for me to do that. 'Sides, I look hideous wearing the same thing that Phoebe's wearing."

"No, knowing you, it'd be the best to do the Helga G. Pataki way." He smiled at her. "I'll gladly help you if you ever need one since I'm really concerned about her too."

"Ah, something that I would concur. It's my way, or the highway." She smiled at him back. "Hey, we're passing by Mr. Simmons' home. Wanna go in and pay him a visit?"

"Yeah, his tea is tight, yo."

VII

So on the morning during the weekends, Helga went over to Phoebe's house to help her, since she felt that talking to her face-to-face was more meaningful than saying it through the phone. So she knocked the door and waited for someone to answer it. After a few seconds, Phoebe's mother showed up in front of her.

"Ah, Helga." She said in her Southern accent, "Pretty mighty early fur ya to see Phoebe today."

"Is she still asleep, Mrs. Hyerdahl?" Helga asked.

"Naw, she was wide awake by the time I got up. Come on in. She's in her room right now."

"Thanks." Helga nodded, and went in.

"Would ya lak some breakfast, hun?"

"I already had breakfast, Mrs. H, but thanks anyway." Helga replied back as she made her way to Phoebe's room. She could hear a Japanese song coming from upstairs. In the room, Phoebe was posing in front of her mirror wearing the yukata (summer kimono). It looked and had the same color as the character she wanted to cosplay in. She looked absolutely stunning in that traditional garment. Suddenly she heard the knock on the door.

"Come in," she replied, and to her shock, it was Helga. Helga was also stunned to see her wearing that dress.

Helga widened her eyes in shock, "Oh… my…"

"Helga?" she replied in shock, "What… what are you…"

"You look gorgeous!" A smile was carved on Helga's face. Phoebe was stunned at the remark. She thought that Helga would throw a fit at her for wearing that dress to go cosplaying. Maybe Helga didn't know what was her real intention was. What Helga don't know, don't hurt.

"Yes… yes." Phoebe replied back stammering, smiling nervously at her. "I do look stunning in this traditional outfit, don't I?"

Helga then walked over to her, "Man, you're beautiful, Pheebs!" she said as she held the dress and checking it, "But what's the occasion?"

Phoebe went pale when she heard that. She could feel the colors flushed out from her face. She didn't want Helga to know that she wanted to go cosplaying since she knew Helga wouldn't approve that sort of thing. "I'm… going to a… Bon Odori festival… yeah. To accompany my family." She was being hopeful that Helga would go away and leave her alone after this.

Helga raised an eyebrow, "but you said to me the Bon Festival is supposed to be on August. This is September."

"Why can't she just shut up and go home already?" "They were… uh…" she stuttered, "They had to hold it back a month late due to the lack of sponsorship."

"Oh, I guess it's okay then." Phoebe was relieved to hear that from Helga. "Wait a second… isn't it supposed to start at late afternoon?"

Phoebe widened her eyes in shock, "Um…" she hesitated as she tried to find an answer, "What's wrong with giving it a head start? I want to prepare early for the occasion." She asked back, rather impatiently.

Helga nodded, and replied, "Ah… hey Pheebs, I originally came here to talk about you about your obsession lately—"

Suddenly Eugene burst into her room, since he saw her door was left opened, "Hey Pheebs, ready to go cosplaying?" he asked as he unzipped his bag, revealing a reddish clothe. "But first, I want your opinion about the dress I'm going to wear…" he stopped at his tracks upon seeing Helga in front of him.

"Dress?" Helga raised an eyebrow in a suspicious gaze at him. Eugene cowered back in fear. She looked at Phoebe again, she lowered her head in embarrassment. "This isn't about the Bon Festival, is it Pheebs?" she asked her accusingly. Phoebe didn't answer her back. Helga scoffed and glared back at Eugene. "You're going to the Convention Center, aren't you?"

"No… n-no we d-don't…" Eugene replied back fearfully.

"Yeah, right Eugene. I saw your username on some message board that you're going to an Anime convention or whatever—and planning to wear a frikken dress."

"It's probably some other Eujinx, Helga…" he replied back, trying to defend himself, futilely at that. Eujinx was Eugene's internet handle.

"Give me your bag." She asked him as she motioned her hand to ask Eugene to give her his backpack.

"Heck no." Eugene replied back. If his secret were revealed, he'd be the laughingstock in the entire school.

"Give me that!" Helga replied back as she snatched the bag away from Eugene. Eugene was too scared to take it back. Helga unzipped the bag and shocked to see what Eugene had brought along with him. She had her jaw dropped to ground as she took the garment out from the bag and spread it open. "THIS. IS. A FRIKKEN. DRESS!" she shouted out loud. Eugene was already reddened in embarrassment. The dress looked similar to that of Madison Kinomoto's dress in Card Capturer Madison. "And you're wearing THIS to the convention, Eugene?" she asked him disbelievingly.

After a lengthy pause, Eugene softly replied, "Y-yes…"

At this point, Helga really wanted to put a gun in her mouth. She threw the dress away to Eugene and turned around to face Phoebe, "You're obsessed, Phoebe! If you want to go along with this charade, avoiding me, Gerald and anyone else just because of your excessive fascination of these… things, then go ahead! I think I already lose a best friend because of this." She shook her head, reiterating the words that Gerald just said to her a few days ago. "Good day Pheebs. And good luck with your hobby." She turned around and left her. But before she exited the room, she looked at Eugene, and pointed a finger in front of him. "And you… you are a sad guy wearing a dress…" and then she left the room, slamming the door.

Both of them now felt really guilty after hearing that from Helga. Phoebe especially. Before her obsession with anime, she was pretty much of an outgoing person, welcoming to her friends and never really did go overboard. But now, due to her militancy of anime, she was a complete polar opposite of her former self. Helga and Gerald were right. She became too obsessed of her new interest that it took a toll on her relationship with Gerald and Helga. She needed to seek help. "Helga, wait!" she ran out to catch with Helga, as she accidentally pushed Eugene away.

"I'm okay…"

VIII

Then she came to me and asked me to help her out with her obsession. I wasn't convinced, since I thought she was beyond help. Then I remember the story that Gerald told me that you never give up on helping people out. That is so typical of you, Football Head. So the very afternoon, me and Gerald was in her room, trying to do the best that we could to help her. I think I should spare you the details, since I know you and Gerald write letters to each other a lot. He could fill you in with it. As for Eugene, he stopped doing what he's doing and his obsession became more underground lately. Maybe it was because of the utter humiliation that I delivered to him. Or maybe he already knew I'd blackmail him, telling the whole school that he wears a dress. But I think he's missing one crucial thing that would lead me to blackmail him: evidence.

Do you think I should be nicer? People have been asking to me a lot about it lately. You think I'm too… 'bad' per se? I don't know, but I like being what I am right now. I just need your humble opinion regarding it. Well, I think this be the end of the letter for me. I hope your interest isn't as militant as Phoebe was with her.

Sayonara Arnold-san,
Helga.

Helga then looked at her letter again, and read it. She was very amused by it, reading what happened to her and Phoebe these past few weeks. She knew that she didn't have the guts to send it Arnold, so she just folded the paper and made it into a paper airplane. She tossed it around the room, and after she got tired of it, she unfolded it back and put it into her binder, along with other letters that she wrote to Arnold. She then went back to closet and opened it. She let a soft smile out and said to herself, "Eh, what the heck. I guess I should revisit the good old days for old time's sake." So she went back to her desk and took a pen and a little pink book where she hadn't use it ever since she bought it from a stationary store years ago. She stepped into the room, and closed the door.

She switched the light bulb above her and realized that she grew too big to sit on the floor! So she opened the closet again, let her legs stretched out and began writing some romantic poetry about Arnold. Apparently her obsession for that lovely blonde football shaped head still hadn't eluded her.

I hate all of the animes mentioned in this fic, except for Samurai Champloo and FLCL in scene VI. Those shows rocked. What's with cosplay bashing you ask? Well, it's about this one guy called Man-Faye, and my eyes instantaniously burn and bleed and I have to wash them with bleach to clean the horrible images out from my eyes upon seeing his pics. He's the one who made me not fond of cosplaying. Ugh... Oh, about the Japanese words... well, the words are common around anime fanpeople and I borrowed a book from the library called 'Common Japanese Phrases' to help me with some of the dialogue. If you still don't understand the words, Google would be your best bet now. Well, thanks for reading and leave a review, and sorry for the lack of updates.