Caught by The Window
Disclaimer: I neither own Pilate nor Gilmore Girls. I am not that lucky.
Summary: What is Rory thinking about while Logan is in London?
Author's Note: Just a warning, this is a Lit story. Not that I don't like them together, I just need some fairy tale ness. However, Logan will not be the villain. He will be some emotional support to Rory. Something I feel he has never really done before. Please give this a chance.
The Travel Song
Rory sighed as she finally left the state Line and thought about what she would say. She figured she would at least warn Logan about their future. With the time difference she knew he would be up. It was seven in the morning, and by each mile she drove closer to Jess, she felt she needed to explain to him why.
Logan didn't deserve to be cheated on. He had honestly thought that they were broken up, Rory knew this and she accepted it. She didn't want to hurt him. But there was just something in her that wasn't as happy as she should be. He had introduced her to the world her mother worked very hard to keep her away from, and by her knowing it; she saw what her mother hated.
But she didn't yearn to see him quite like she imagined. She didn't want to do whatever she could to get on a plane and hide away with Logan. He didn't get her past, and she didn't get his future. It was simple.
She didn't even think about the long distance or how expensive her cell phone bill would be. She simply dialed the number he had made her remember. 'Ace?' the voice over the phone asked and she felt her heart breaking.
'Logan we need to talk.' Logan sighed and he heard her tone. He knew what was coming. 'Yeah about that Rory, I think that we should break up.' He interjected and this surprised Rory. 'Oh ok.' She said and all the while, she felt like she may have made a mistake. 'I mean come on, your in New Haven still in school and I am stuck in London. I have no time, and you are just as busy.' Rory sighed. 'Maybe your right Logan.'
Rory pulled off to the side of the road. 'I'm sorry Logan.' She whispers over the phone and she could hear the sound of ice hitting the side of a glass. It was almost eight in the morning and he was drinking. 'It was bound to happen Ace.' Logan says and Rory can hear the bitterness in his voice. 'I loved you.' Rory replies and he chuckles. 'I know, I did too.'
They are both silent together. The crackling sound of distance and reception as the soundtrack of this particular heartbreak. 'You deserve to be with that guy who is willing to change Ace.' Logan whispered and Rory could hear how slurred his voice became.
'No Logan, I want to be with someone who doesn't need to change. I need to be with someone who can be themselves completely and still love me.' She said and he winced audibly on the phone.
'I will keep in touch Ace. You, well you are unforgettable.' Logan replied and she smiled. 'Your pretty unforgettable yourself MAC' She closed her flip phone and sighed and looked at the empty highway.
She thought back to what her mother had said. Would she regret breaking up with Logan for Jess? Who she didn't even know if he still had feelings for her, and she immediately knew her answer. Even for once glance at his face, was worth it.
But the logical rational side told her that she just couldn't surprise him. What if he had a girlfriend, or some girl in his bed? That certainly wouldn't be something she would want to walk in on, what if he wasn't there, or if he didn't even want to see her ever again?'
But she turned the ignition once more and continued on her journey. She called Jess's cell phone. Of course it was off. 'Hi uh Jess, it's Rory. I um.' she paused. 'I am coming to Philadelphia, and I really want to see you. So call me when you get this message.'
Rory didn't know if she should continue on, but she already was getting the feel of the road and she kept on. She had two hours left of her journey, and she thanked whoever made her mother so weird when it came to birthday presents. One of her presents included a navigational system for her small car. 'Babe, if you need to go to Timbuktu, you will now know the fastest way to get there.'
And now she continued on driving. Her cell phone rang and she almost stopped the car on the highway. Not exactly a great thing. 'Hello?' she said attentively. 'Rory?' the male baritone voice said over the phone and she moved across the highway to stop.
'Jess?' She asked and he chuckled. 'Imagine my surprise that Rory Gilmore called me at 2 in the morning.' Jess said and she laughed. 'I really need to talk to you Jess.' Rory said and he was silent for a minute. 'Ok, then come on over. I am in the bookstore.'
The rest of the drive was filled with tense moments between the feuding foes. Her heart and brain went over every nook and cranny that was Jess and Rory's relationship. From beginning to end. It was all out there for the two of them to debate. Now, if you really think about it, if you hear about someone's heart and brain actually fighting, sure you would think, wows that person is certifiable, but choose to believe it for a second.
Rory sat there, the body, the vessel and she had a goal. To get to Truncheon Books. Her heart was preparing her for the beating it would probably receive. She had gone to Jess, who she knew had feelings for her, and she had make it seem like this was it for them. They would finally get that middle they had been searching for, and then she breaks down and admits that she doesn't feel that way (probably the first mean lie she told him) and that she loved Logan.
Jess was amazing and understanding, and even if Rory had just dashed his hopes, he still was the one with the higher understanding. Her heart knew this and accepted that she really loved him. Not because it made sense or it was convenient. It was the real, wish for your whole life without knowing it, kind of love.
Her brain however was checking the balance between now and then. Did she feel different now, than the last time she took a leap like this, which happens to involve one jess Mariano. Did he change so much that all the good that the past held, was now void and null. Did he still feel the same way about Thai food and certain Cameron Crowe movies? Did there past even matter?
Rory had always been intelligent, and always weighed things to the point where it annoyed people. And now as she drove, she weighed the likeliness that her whole mission was futile.
Instead she made it to the bookstore in great time, and even had time to make sure se looked ok. Jess wasn't the type to judge a person solely on looks, but she wanted to look her best as her hopes were either dashed or renewed with gusto. Renewed hopefully with some physical rewards as well.
Jess opened the door for her, like he was just waiting for her to appear. He noticed that she looked a little tired but other than that, she looked, like the Rory he knew. Only not so private school girl, more worldly.
The room was dark and quiet, and it felt like nobody had discovered it before. It almost felt wild, and there was jess standing right before Rory, and she felt like she had transported back, to being a naïve seventeen year old girl, and this was her first chance at getting something new and exciting.
While Jess thought of nothing but how beautiful she looked, and how scared she was at the same time. He couldn't help but notice that even if she was here to tell him that she wanted him for his body solely, at this moment, with just the two of them, he didn't really care.
'I'm sorry Jess.' Rory stated almost out of character. Jess just shrugged and that's when he felt her lips on hers.
The road seen beneath the van's headlights,
It's cold so cold, cold enough to feel your sigh,
My face up against the window now, don't you know it's cold outside,
Pick up your life as I pass by, can't you see I'm cold inside.
We were poor but we had something,
What wasn't poor was poisoned by your fear,
You wanted more, I gave you nothing,
I may be blind.
Each town, each town it seems the same my dear,
It's loud tonight; your heart is ringing in my ear.
Walk out the door across the street, don't you know it's cold outside,
Pick up the phone my signal's weak, can't you see I'm cold inside.
I think you know,
We were poor but we had something,
What wasn't torn was poisoned by your fear,
You wanted more, I gave you nothing,
I may be blind for I never saw your tears.
I think you know,
We were poor but we had something,
What wasn't torn was poisoned by your fear,
You wanted more, I gave you nothing, and I may be blind for I never saw your tears
, As days pass by the gap it now appears, When I come home please say that you'll be there.
The Travel Song by Pilate