A/N:
Due to a threat from a reader (Yay, a threat!) I'm updating this one first.
This one's for you, Amberhawk! Happy Devil's Day!
-
What the hell.
Talk about an idiot.
-
"Who's an idiot this time, Kyo?"
"What's your name?"
"Hatori..."
"Middle name?"
"… Tohru."
"(gasp)"
-
Whoa.
Hatori's sure been letting off some secrets lately.
-
And that's not the only thing he's been letting off.
-
"What are you implying?"
"You've been letting off…. Fireworks?"
"... Sure."
-
OH MY FUCKING AKITO.
-
I just bought myself the greatest thing that ever was.
-
A… BOOZE HAT.
-
C'mon, you've seen them on the Simpsons, surely?
-
"Wasn't that your life long dream, Kyo?"
"Yes Kagura, it was."
-
It's gonna be great!
I'm gonna wear it in public.
People are gonna STARE AT ME.
-
"Why do you want people staring at you?"
"Because, my ass is so sexy to go to waste."
"But won't you be wearing it on your head?"
"…ENHANCE YOUR PANTS! (runs)"
-
God.
I was eating some bread the other day, when I noticed that a giant rat had been baked into it. Know what I did?
-
"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH TOHRUUUUUUUUUU!"
"Y-Yes Kyo?"
"Rat…(dies)"
-
Then, she did the funniest thing.
-
"Yuki, come take your rat friend out-"
-
Then it wasn't so funny
-
"-it's scaring Kyo!"
"(laughing)"
-
But the bread company gave us a life time supply of bread.
But it wasn't free, mind you.
I had to pay for it. (cries)
-
Tohru got these fuzzy slippers, right?
They're all green coloured. And sparkly.
And they scare the living crap outta me.
-
"Why's that Kyo?"
"Ah! Don't come near me in those things! I might randomly transform!"
"…?"
-
Does she not realize the significance of those slippers?
-
"Nope."
"Well… ya see… theylooklikemyfeetthingysfrommyotherformokay!"
"…"
-
I'm glad I got that over with.
-
This one time, when I was a little kid- WAIT.
What the hell am I saying?
-
"What do you mean?"
"This story is supposed to be the most perverted thing people have ever read. Ever. And the writer is supposed to be happy to make me sound like a pervo because she likes me so much."
"Well…"
"DAMMIT! I'M WRITING THIS STORY MYSELF!"
-
Haha. I caught Yuki in the shower the other day.
-
Basically because I waltzed in there and grabbed his ass.
-
Hell yes.
-
"I thought I told you not to tell anyone about that."
"Well…"
-
I can't keep secrets.
Especially sexual ones.
-
Like this one time, Tohru wore one of those dresses Ayame gave her.
I think there was a puddle of drool at my feet.
-
Well, there must have been.
She walked past with a mop and gave me a strange look.
-
"I don't recall Tohru wearing a-"
"Shutup Shigure. Trust you to ruin the damn mood."
-
Sperm.
-
Cock-tale.
-
Thinking what I'm thinking?
-
"Kyo, NO ONE thinks like you do!"
"Psh, like you can say that Yuki. I only have 6 chapters, you have 20!"
"I still don't take back what I said."
"…Dammit."
-
Yuki later admitted he knew exactly what I was thinking and helped me achieve my goal.
-
"Hello, welcome to Shigure's Pad! How may I take your order?" (Tohru)
"Umm… can I please have a cumshake on the rocks."
"Yay!"
"…"
-
Me and Yuki gave each other sexual pleasure and used the 'left overs' for our drinks.
It was the best.
-
We made… 8 yen! WOOHOO!
-
I was discriminated the other day.
So cold hearted.
-
"What happened?"
"Well, I was eating a packet of chips, right? And the packet was pink. So they all called me a Girly Cat Lover!"
"GASP!"
"I KNOW! (cries)"
-
I'm a very emotional person, ya know.
-
I still have my booze hat.
-
It's a great hat.
-
And I only learnt a few minutes ago it holds can of other things too, not just booze.
Isn't it great?
-
"…"
"Puh-lease! Just because YOU want one HATORI doesn't mean you have to DEATH GLARE at my poor INNOCENT soul!"
"…Kyo, please stop being such a moron."
"No!"
-
Happy Devil's Day! 666!
-
A/N:
Man, I hope I don't bring myself bad luck for saying that last sentence.
Oh well, I'm not a religious person. I'm only SOHMAN.
Yay! BOOZE HAT!