The Real World: Rurouni Kenshin

by esyTV

This is the true story...of seven strangers, picked to live on a cruise ship, work together, and have their lives taped, to find out what happens when people stop being polite, and start getting real!

6. Episode 5 Sometimes

Oh well, I've got nothing left to sell

This love was a bell that rang unheard in the air

I was bound to find out that you didn't care

Oh well, sometimes it be that way…

---

KENSHIN

Arms snaked around me, a nose to my jaw gliding over, then lips to my temple. I smiled softly, still half-asleep and shifted against the warm body beside me. My hand met lean muscle and bare skin. My smile widened as my eyes finally opened just as Sano laid his lips to mine and my eyes promptly closed again. The kiss ended after only a brief touch, but the warmth made me sigh in contentment as I slipped an arm out of our embrace to flick a piece of his unruly hair away so it would stop tickling my cheek.

"You're still here." Apparently my brain was still in dreamland where it assumed every night ended in a one-night stand.

Sano didn't seem to mind, he smirked and placed another light kiss on my lips. "My room."

And suddenly I woke up. "Yahiko!" I craned my neck to see the roommate's empty bed. My eyes narrowed and Sano took advantage of my stretched neck, mouth drifting over the exposed skin. Of course, at this point all of my skin was exposed.

"Did he not sleep here?" I tilted my chin down to speak to him, consequently forcing him to pull away. "Do you think it saw us?"

"Do you think I care?" Sano countered with a smug grin. His hands moved over my hips slowly. I stared at him for a long moment, reciprocating his light kisses without much thought and tilting my head back when his mouth lowered down my neck. This felt good, unbelievably good. Wrapped up in warm sheets and warm arms, waking to his kiss. Yet, even with his mouth distracting my senses with pleasure, I could still feel guilt welling up within me.

What was Kaoru going to think? I felt like I betrayed her. Granted neither of us said anything about dating, but I pursued her so forwardly, and now what is she going to think if I suddenly just drop it. I sighed, not a pleasurable one and Sano knew the difference. He glanced up at me, stopping his ministrations though he was still looming over me.

"You okay?" he asked.

I forced a smile, actually, no, it wasn't forced. I still felt content in his arms, which confused me even more. Guilty and happy, I've never felt both though I suppose the combination makes sense. Hell, they even have a term for it. So, was I going to revile in this guilty pleasure, or was I going to—"I'm sorry, I was just thinking."—do something like that?

Sano's gaze didn't waver. "About what?"

"Things I'd rather not discuss with you." I looked away and bit my lower lip. "Am I thinking too deeply into this? I mean, you and I aren't very reputable in the relationship department. I just…what was last night? What's this right now?"

SANO

I raised an eyebrow, yawning slightly. "I don't know," I admitted bluntly, then I paused with a frown. I hadn't really given that too much thought... I didn't
usually bother to define things; they are what they are. It was unusual to be asked that kind of question... The people I usually slept with knew as well as I did what the whole deal was before anything started, and I definitely didn't expect Kenshin to be the "let's talk about our relationship" type, especially with how secretive he was. On the other hand, this felt different than times before, it
did have a more substantial feel to it...

I smirked, and ran a hand through his long hair, watched the way his eyes softened to a deep violet. "What do you want it to be?"

KENSHIN

Right, should have known he would turn it around. Problem was, I didn't have an answer either. I also didn't know why I asked in the first place. It seemed unlikely, which could be why Sano looked so befuddled. We had had the same life style, we both knew the routine, but neither of us left the bed to
slip on our clothes and saunter out the door. It didn't feel like a one-night stand. It didn't even feel like a fling. And in our situation, with our other pursuits, we couldn't afford to just screw and keep it secret.

But maybe he wanted to. I shook my head and smiled up at him. "This is stupid, I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked something like that."

He didn't stop me when I sat up. Signal number one. I leaned over the edge of the bed and fished around for my or, more likely, his shirt. Anything to cover me long enough to get into my room. He wasn't leaving because this was his room. Of course if he really didn't want to deal with me he would have left anyway.

I laughed shortly and looked over my shoulder at the tall male, who looked very sexy stretched out under the covers. "I'm not the relationship type and neither are you, it's just…"

"Just?" Sano coaxed. He had sat up as well, leaning over my much smaller shoulder. I could feel his breath on my neck. Okay, that action just counter-acted
signal one.

"It was nice," I replied, keeping my eyes on the carpet, the shirt I borrowed from the night before clenched in one hand. "And I risk my masculinity in saying this but—"

"What masculinity?"

I blinked at the insult then threw the shirt in his face. "Hey! From one who just had sex with me last night, that is far too insulting!"

Sano laughed, pulling the shirt from his face and shifting on the bed so he sat directly behind me. I stiffened when he wrapped his arms around my chest,
persuading my body to lean back into his. "I'm sorry. You're quite a man; I'm just kidding with you. You're being so serious."

I touched my hand to his arm and leaned my head back to look up at him, smiling softly. His embrace felt so different, warm and protective. "I know. There's just a lot going on in my head."

"Isn't there always?" he asked as he nudged his nose to my ear. "Always so deep in thought."

"I don't want this to be a one-night stand." There I said it. I breathed out all at once and stared forward at the door. I could feel Sano's arms loosen around me as he pulled back slightly. "But I don't know what to hurt Kaoru and Megumi either…"

SANO

I'm sure my expression darkened at mention of the ladies, a topic I desperately wanted to avoid. I'd struggled over this issue far too long last night, I never really wanted to think about it again. I chuckled, running a hand gently down Kenshin's arms, watching how my fingertips left a trail of shivers behind them. "Ah, well, nothing you can do about that. Women know everything, even if you don't tell them, somehow they know." I shook my head ruefully. Even
if Megumi didn't know, I'd always feel like she knew, women had that way about them.

"Anyway, you had to make a choice eventually," I kissed his shoulder lingeringly, whispering against his skin. "So you did." My fingers curled against his abs as I moved my mouth to the crook of his neck, enjoying the way he bent his head towards me when it tickled, and his hair fell over his shoulder and
clouded my vision.

"Besides," I said gently, my breath smoothing over the trail of kisses I had left. "Kaoru already knows."

Kenshin jumped slightly at that, turning his head more to look at me, startled. "What?"

I shrugged, already tired of the conversation, but knowing it was better that he knew rather than wonder why she was glaring daggers at him at breakfast. "She saw us."

Kenshin looked quickly to the door, and I laughed slightly. "She's gone, now. It's not like she stuck around to take in the scenery." I couldn't read
Kenshin's expression. "Hey, don't worry about it. It's better you did this now than later on in the trip when it might have really hurt her. It's only been a few
weeks, it's not like anything important happened between you."

That's true of Megumi and I, right? That kiss in the rain? Not important. That strange, stirring feeling? Definitely not important. Not important, and not real anymore. That was all behind me, whether I wanted it to be or not. "And I guess that solves the 'what are we' question, because I doubt we're going to go
romancing the ladies now, so we might as well stick with what we've got, huh?"

KENSHIN

I let my mind mull over this for a few seconds. Part of me wanted to bolt out of the room, track Kaoru down and bow before her in apology, but another part was anchored, couldn't move from Sano's side. His mouth drifted over my neck again, so my hormones certainly didn't want to leave either. I turned my head to capture his mouth, even in our awkward position, and lifted one hand to trail over his cheek.

"You don't want this to be a one-night stand either?" I asked, once our mouths parted.

He smiled at me. "You sound surprised." When I shrugged he wrapped his arms more tightly under my ribcage and tossed me over his body to land back on
the bed. I yelped, then laughed at his play as he loomed over me for the second time this morning. "Are you surprised that a nympho like me would give up his
grazing rights?"

I smiled at him and lifted my chin to place a short kiss on his lips. "I never said that. I'm just surprised…" I let the sentence trail off and shook my head. "I'm just surprised."

"You're worth it, Kenshin," Sano whispered, giving me a rather serious look, then cracked another smile. "At least for the time being."

I laughed and wrapped my arms around his neck, lifting myself up to take his mouth again. He eagerly reciprocated and I relaxed under his touch. I needed to talk to Kaoru. If she saw, she would be angry. No, she probably hated me, but I still needed to talk to her. Of course I had no idea what I was going to say, and trying to come up with something while Sano's hands were dragging over my hips was hardly fair to either of them, and also rather impossible. I really did wonder if the girls were right when they said that all the blood in a man's head rushes to his dick, 'cause I certainly didn't have much more than a
semi-coherent thought with Sano's body pressed against mine.

Give it up, Himura. You'd have to talk to her later. If she would even consider looking at your face again. I sighed out and shut down that part of my brain. Priority one: pleasure…well that's a thought I hadn't had in a while. I smiled and broke our kiss to meet Sano's eyes. He stared back, his deep brown gaze unwavering and just as playful. At least I wasn't alone. My smile faltered, but I kissed him again before he could see. Live in the present, Himura, you're good at that.

---

YAHIKO

Viewtiful Joe! Yahah, that's the name of my brand new PS2 game. Damn expensive, but it must be worth it. Excellent reviews, and some even give it 5 stars!

Hey, what else is a guy to do than to spend his money when he's strolling around on his own in a city he's never heard of? I had no idea where the others were. I'd seen Sano and Megumi, swallowed by the crows as they descended the ship, then spit out again near some little café. From there, I had lost them completely, or wait, didn't I catch a glimpse of Megumi's flashing white dress at one of the tables? The mischievous brat inside of me wanted to go and play the dog in a skittles game. But then again, the 0.1 of my adult half still wanted to live to see a potential relationship blooming between me and Tsubame. If that was even possible after my blooper from the other night. It would've been a little more fun thought, to pester the happy couple a bit. There really wasn't all that much to do here. I spotted bunches of street vendors, but unless they had computer accessories and Metallica cd's for 2.7 $ (that's all I had left!), they failed to hold my interest.

I heard an angry growl from my stomach and had to admit; I was indeed pretty hungry. Slipping inside a café, I ordered a 2.7 $ sandwich, and as I was munching, I also tried to munch my way through all the questions and doubts in my head. Was Tsubame going to forgive me? What if she didn't? Would I be able to handle it if she didn't? would she crush my heart? Was I ready to have my heart crushed? Was I reluctant to go to her? Hell yeah, I was! But could I bear living in uncertainty? Wouldn't it be better to have clarity? I didn't want to lose her.

I sighed. Maybe I'd have to sleep on it first. Appetite now officially gone, I shoved my half eaten sandwich away and left, disappearing in an ally where I sat and sulked. I felt like screaming at myself, I really did. Stupid, stupid, STUPID!

I needed something to cool my anger.

Looking around, my eye caught a trash container, and I strode towards it. My foot swiped back, and with a monstrous force, it shot forth to connect with green material. A loud blow sounded, and I swore something god awful. Fuck, that hurt!

And I dare to admit; I think I might've been crying, and it was not from the pain.

I did not want to lose her.

I grunted. If this was how I was gonna spend my day of laziness, stressed, injured, and broke, then I'd better go back to the ship. Back on the ship, I went sitting on one of the white lounge chairs, sheltered against the bad weather. My head was full of thoughts. Bad thoughts. Maybe I needed some distraction.

And a drink.

The bar.

My eyes instantly fell on something that was hard not to see – or not to
hear for that matter. It was a black braided whirlwind, though stagnant for
the moment, seated on a bar stool.

"And I just said, boy, if you don't like my music, than just take a hike,
okay? Gees, did he really think I was gonna change my music for him? Who
the hell does he think he is? It's not like…"

Yep, that was Misao alright. "Hey Miller!" I called, as I waved my hand.
Misao looked up, in particular to the bartender's relief. "Yahiko, man! What's up?"

I smiled, taking the stool next to her. "Oh well, you know…" I shrugged.
"Wallowing in guilt?"

"Yeah…" I sighed.

"Can I get you anything, young man?" the bartender asked with a toothy smile.

I grinned, pretty stupidly. "Just one moment, please." Then I turned to
Misao. "I'm facing a tiny problem here."

"Oh? What?"

"I have no more money." And I clutched my PS2 game closer to me under my vest, as if to hide the cause of my being broke.

Misao arched an eyebrow. "Then in bloody hell, what do you come to a bar for, if you don't have any money?"

I wriggled on my seat. I really was very uncomfortable with asking money
from others. "Well, I was kinda hoping there would be a good soul who'd want
to refresh the ones who are thirsty."

"Ooh," Misao said slowly. "Is that so?"

"I'll give it back, I promise."

"It's okay, this one's on me. What do you want?"

"Bacardi."

"Breezer?"

I wanted to say pure, but did I really want to be drunk again, should I
decide I'd still go to Tsubame today. "Yeah," I sighed. "Citrus, please." I
crossed my legs and leaned my head on my hand while I waited for my drink.

MISAO

Silly boy. 'Cause he totally thought that I didn't see the PS2 game hidden under his vest?

Hello, not born yesterday! You gotta get up pretty early in the morning to pull one over Misao Makimachi Miller!

And what's with this Barcadi virgin stuff? Like a sixteen year old guy... woops, sorry, EIGHTEEN, 'cause I'm not supposed to know that Yahiko ain't really all grown up yet either... but yeah, what's with this virgin drink thing? Like a sixteen- or eighteen, whatever- year old guy wants to be thought of as a virgin?

"Yahiko, Yahiko, Yahiko," I took a swig from my own drink, some fruity thing with a lot of crushed ice, "if you want to get the girl, you have to, you know, get the girl."

"Scuse me, what?" Yahiko looked over at me from the top of his girly virgin drink.

"Moping around all day is not the way to win it with the ladies!" I wagged a finger at him. "And neither is blowing all your money on video games!"

His eyes widened. "Video games? What? Uh..." His grip tightened over his vest and I burst out laughing.

"Oh, cut the chatter, Red Two, I know you're sporting a new game under that swanky vest of yours." I knocked back the dregs of my drink. "And anyway, if you want Tsubame to like you-"

"Hey," he looked crushed, "she likes me."

"Whatever, fine, if you want her to date you, you might want to, you know, buy her something nice to start." I folded my arms. "Cause you're not gonna win the girl with a shoot-em-up game!"

Take that, dating guru!

"And anyway," I slid off my stool, "that's all the free dating advice you're getting today from Jedi Master Misao. This one's also on me." I turned up my Discman and sauntered out of the bar, hopefully leaving him floored with my...
okay, with my spur-of-the-moment dating finesse.

Where goes the ninja girl now? My eyes swept over the deck, but, ho hum, not much to see.

Sigh.

I should totally follow my own dating advice. Too bad there's
no one I want to date.

Not really.

No, really, no one.

I'm gonna hit the pool...

---

KAORU

I only cried for a little while, and that was reactionary. It's just a shock to see the guy you're interested in in bed with… another man. It's just a blow to the gut.

But after I showered and got dressed, had some time to mull about things, to turn it all over in my head, I realized that I really wasn't upset about the rejection. I had only known Kenshin for a few weeks, after all. He obviously had no obligations towards me and it wasn't as if we had some sort of bond. I was shaken up still about the fact that I'd told him about my past, but I guess that is a natural way to feel.

To be honest, I was pretty disgusted with Kenshin.

I knew he was a wild one, but I didn't know he had no pride whatsoever. What kind of man leads a girl on so much and then leaves her when she's obviously vulnerable? What sort of man then sleeps with someone out of the blue? Whom he hardly knows? What kind of relationship is that anyway? Obviously based on physical factors. And how is that at all fulfilling? It said a lot about Kenshin's character, to leave me at my lowest to go have sex. What an asshole.

I gritted my teeth as I touched up my lipstick, taking a step back from the mirror to examine myself. Since I had woken up so early and now I had time yet before the meeting, I had decided to glam myself up. Looking good always makes me feel better. I'd gone all out, put on a pretty summery dress and strappy sandles, curled my hair in at the ends, and spent the hours necessary to cover up my scars with foundation. It was worth it. One damn fine girl stared back at me.

People believe what they see.

I believed Kenshin when he told me he was there for me.

I believe him now, basically a man slut.

And people will believe that I don't care about that.

Because I don't.

I mean what did I lose? The companionship of such a troubled, inconsistent person, whose intents and interests are now painfully obvious? A man who found out I was weak and insecure and not all that comfortable with sex or men in general and then heads for the hills? A real catch, he is.

I rolled my eyes, picking up my purse and leaving the room. Whatever.

In fact, I'm not sure I even really want to be his friend. Or associate with him. Or give him the time of day. My steps were firm and furious as I stormed down the hall, practically fuming. Asshole.

Asshole!

I paused and took a deep breath, determined not to be grumpy at the meeting, not to let my emotions show. Don't let your scars show, don't let your thoughts show, don't let anything show. Because people believe what they see.

Aoshi was entering the lower decks just as I was leaving, and I flashed him a brilliant smile, which I believe caught him off guard. Or maybe it was just my overall appearance. I slowed my stride, brushing my hair back behind my ears as I approached. I laughed at his surprised expression. "Feel free to refrain from letting your jaw hang, Aoshi."

AOSHI

I did as I was told, though I don't think my jaw was 'hanging' precisely. I definitely was taken aback by her appearance; since she arrived on the ship she had been rather reserved in her clothing. I tilted my head slightly, my sunglasses protecting me from the bright high noon light behind her.

"Sorry Kamiy...Kaoru-san," I said with a bow of my head. "I'm just not used to seeing you so dressed up. Is there an occasion?"

She grinned at me again and shook her head. "No occasion, just felt like it."

Lie. I didn't say anything, but most of the times I have noticed girls primp themselves to this point, it's usually because of self confidence. I hoped she would receive what ever she was seeking. She certainly was soaking up my appraisal with her chin strongly lifted.

"Well, you look very nice," I told her. She nodded to me in a very polite manner, probably reacting to my level tone, and bowed slightly. It dawned on me then. Remembering another reason girls dressed themselves up in my experience: to show off their confidence. Something must have happened last night. I tried to control my smirk before it shown through and I took a step closer to her, leaning against a small railing of an open stairwell that led to another deck, located right by the interior stairs. "I'm actually looking for Kenshin before the meeting. I haven't seen him all night. Do you happen to know where he is?"

Her smile seemed to falter. "I haven't talked into him at all since the day before yesterday."

My eyes narrowed from behind my sunglasses, hopefully she couldn't see it. I felt curiosity pique at her particular use of words. And in that moment her obviously feigned sunny disposition crashed long enough for me to note anger and frustration in her eyes before she smiled again and tried to pass me. "Hope you find him though."

I snatched her wrist before she could depart from my side and she blinked down at my hand in surprise. I paused at a loss of words. I didn't know her well enough to demand the truth like I did Kenshin and didn't think her emotional state could handle interrogation like Sagara's could. So I went for the cloaked question. "Is something wrong?"

KAORU

I gently removed my wrist from his grip, backing up to a safe distance. The risky thing about dressing up was that foundation smudges off, and I can't have anyone touching me. Anywhere. "Ah, no," I said, smoothing the skirt of my dress. "Nothing wrong."

"Not to be a gossip or anything," I added as an afterthought, squinting up the stairs at the sun. "But I think..." I chewed my lip thoughtfully. "Actually, that really would make me a gossip." It wasn't my place to spread the word about Kenshin's dating status. If he wanted people to know he was with Sano, he would tell them. Or maybe they weren't planning on telling anyone, maybe they wanted it to be a secret... I laughed. "Sorry, never mind."

Aoshi's eyes narrowed slightly; I could only tell because his dark brow shifted down behind his sunglasses. "Did something happen with Kenshin last night?"

Out of the corner of my eye I could see two figures approaching down the hall. Upon more careful inspection I saw that it was the very topic of our conversation, Kenshin… and Sano. Talking, laughing, not looking anywhere but at each other.

I laughed slightly, turning on my heel. "No Aoshi, I can honestly say nothing happened between Kenshin and I last night." I stepped out into the sunlight, throwing a careless "see you at the meeting," over my shoulder before walking briskly away. I just wasn't ready to deal with the happy couple just yet.

SANO

After a little more fun back in the rooms, Kenshin and I finally managed to get some clothes on in order to attend the meeting. I still wasn't sure what the status of our 'relationship' was, or what he expected of me, but he didn't seem to mind when I took up his hand as we strolled down the hallway towards the sun deck. He also didn't seem to mind when I kept his hand in mine even when we saw Aoshi down the hall, and I squeezed it slightly as we approached. "Hey Ice Man!" I grinned, unable to contain my good mood, even in the presence of my favorite antagonist. "Lovely morning, eh?"

AOSHI

I started at Sagara's voice and turned to see him and Kenshin walking toward me. My eyes flickered to the direction Kaoru had fled and tried not to assume her reaction was in direct response to Kenshin's arrival. Then my gaze fell on Kenshin's smaller hand wrapped tightly in Sagara's and I could feel my shoulders tense in fury. Perhaps my own reaction was a bit too fierce, but suddenly I understood quite well why Kaoru hightailed it away from this apparent couple.

"Don't call me that," I hissed at the taller of the pair. Kenshin looked a bit meeker at the growl in my voice and I tried to contain it for his sake. "Yes, it
is nice weather, but could you please tell me what's going on?"

"And by that you mean…?" Sagara asked, trying to be sweet and innocent. Kenshin stepped before the spiky haired idiot and released his hand as well. It was amazing how quickly I calmed once that connection broke. Of course, now Sagara looked perturbed.

"Aoshi, don't be mad. This was my choice," Kenshin told me. He even turned my face down with one hand so I would stop glaring at his dolt of a lover. "I was attracted to Sano, you knew this."

"But I was hoping you wouldn't be stupid enough to sleep with him," I retorted.

"Hey," Sagara snapped behind Kenshin and the little redhead turned to press a restraining hand on the chest fiery male as well as my own, separating us.

"Sano, calm down," Kenshin said softly, then turned his attention back to me. "That was uncalled for, Aoshi. Sano hasn't done anything wrong."

"Hey, what's going on?" a chipper voice said to one side of us. I flickered my eyes to the source and saw Miller staring at us with wide eyes, much more
innocent than Sagara had tried to pull off. I backed away from Kenshin's restraining hand and frowned. I suppose I would have to talk to him later about this, preferably when Sagara was nowhere around.

MISAO

So I was gonna bop bop bop ('cause that's what was playing on my discman) on over to the pool when I remembered, wonderfully done, I forgot my towel back in my room. And my book. And my sunscreen. And practically everything else I would need for swimming and sunbathing fun. And, oh, wait, didn't we have a meeting come up?

Brilliant, Miller-Makimachi, just brilliant.

So I turned and headed, well, bounced really, 'cause the beat throbbing in my ears was just skippy, high pitched and manic, just the way J-pop was meant to be, wow, I just lost myself there. I turned and headed back toward the meeting room and...

Woah...

The guys... the manly men! Aoshi-sama and Sano and Himura... well, Himura's not super manly per say, but whatever... the guys were deep in discussion, I mean I could feel the tension, like battle aura, just slamming into me and radiating everywhere. Powerful stuff! It practically hurt!

So tense... what was going on? This is a cruise and a game and we're supposed to be having fun and the tension was... almost scary.

I thumbed my discman off, cleared my throat. "Hey." They all turned and looked at me and wow, yeah, way too much tension. Too much testosterone, guys, cool it. "What's going on?"

Their stern expressions softened, kind of, sort of, I swear, Aoshi-sama looked briefly sympathetic.

There was some throat clearing, some sudden looking at the ocean, at the deck, looking at anything but me.

"We were just talking," Himura finally said.

Talking? Yeah, more like fightin' words!

"But everything's fine." The expression on Himura's face indicated to anyone paying attention that, yes, everything would be fine right now, damn it!

"Okay." Whatever, guys. "Why don't we go to the meeting then? I'm sure Megumi-san and Kaoru-san are already there, waiting for us."

Was that a brief flicker of... confusion? Guilt? Something? on Sano and Himura's faces?

Sano cleared his throat. "Yeah. Meeting. I could do that." And abruptly, everyone began following me toward the meeting room.

Okay, something was definitely up and I'm gonna make like a ninja and find out!

---

MEGUMI

My new necklace- courtesy of the roosterhead- looked wonderful with my flowerly little sundress. And I say little because this was one of my naughty sundresses, delighfully short and whispy. A pair of wedge heel sandals, sunglasses, my straw handbag, and I was set.

I looked quite nice. Anyone would agree, certainly the roosterhead.
Drooling idiot.

I smiled.

I stopped briefly at one of the cafes, picked up a fruit smoothie for breakfast. The boy behind the counter was eyeing me hungrily; perhaps he saw something he liked? A few coy words exchanged, a small smile, and wouldn't you know, he didn't charge me for my drink?

Delightful.

Yesterday had been such fun. And today, the sun was shining, the sky was bright, perhaps there would be more fun. Maybe in the pool. That might be nice.

I sauntered into the meeting room, sipping at my smoothie. Kaoru was the only one in the room, sitting at a table with an expression that seemed determined to be casual. I couldn't help but notice how nicely she dressed herself up. Perhaps her night with Ken-san was equally enjoyable?

I slid into the seat next to her, dropped my handbag at my feet.
"Kaoru-chan, how was your night?"

Kaoru took a deep breath and then another. She looked at me. "Kenshin... Ken..." Another deep breath and then in a sudden rush, "Kenshin and Sano slept together! I walked in on them this morning!"

My teasing smile was frozen in place.

I felt like I had been slapped.

Sano? With Kenshin? Not that I hadn't expected it, the flirting was blatantly obvious in the bar the other night, but... I had thought, perhaps...

Well, I'm not sure what I thought.

I really shouldn't have expected any different. Sano... idiot. How
typical.

Well...

At least I got a free necklace out of it.

Jerk.

Kaoru was staring at me.

I forced my tone to be light, raised an eyebrow. "Did they? How
interesting."

The door swung open and in walked Misao, followed by the guilty
party and Aoshi. Misao grabbed a seat as far from the guys as possible and as soon as everyone was seated, I smiled and turned my attention to Sano and Kenshin.

"You boys are late. Had too much fun last night?" And then, right as Yahiko walked in, the teasing fell away and the would-be doctor in me kicked in. "You boys did use protection, right? AIDS and STDs are serious."

SANO

I blinked in surprise at the greeting, stopping short behind my chair. Wait... what? Did she just say what I think she did? Upon a second glance at her coy, almost cruelly playful smile, I realized that indeed she did. I opened my mouth once to respond, but found myself lacking a quick comeback.

First of all, Megumi looked alarmingly nice that morning, even more nice than usual, something I did not think was really possible. This caught me off guard, on top of the fact that I was expecting to have to tell her myself, something I had been dreading and trying to find a method for. Well, it seemed she already knew. My gaze shifted to Kaoru, the only person who could have told her. The smaller girl was also dressed particularly carefully, something that I
found downright puzzling. She walked in on us post-amouritus and still she was dressing to impress? Girls rarely make sense to me. I can only guess this was supposed to be some sort of revenge, some sort of look-what-you're missing trick, and frankly I found that a bit childish. I also found Megumi's outburst
childish, but then...

Well, we were pretty childish, too. I did completely lead Megumi on yesterday, I did take her out and buy her jewelry and kiss her and then slept with someone else... heh. Maybe I should hold my judgments for now. Kaoru was leafing through a handout that had been placed at our spots at the table, trying a little too hard to look like she didn't notice us or care about our conversation.

Surfacing from my convoluted thoughts I noticed that Megumi was still staring at me expectantly, and remembered I had been addressed. I did the only thing that came naturally... be a jerk. "Ah well..." I smiled smugly, taking a seat. "I don't really remember..." I joked, "I was too caught up in it all I guess. I should probably take this more seriously, sorry. STDs are real, kids." I winked at Kaoru who looked up innocently at my lack of sympathy. "Don't follow our example, Jou-chan." I grinned at Kenshin, who took the seat next to me. "Red, did we?"

KENSHIN

I jumped at the mention of my pet name as I had only been half listening to the conversation. My concentration was on Kaoru trying desperately to read her. I hadn't forgotten that Sano said she walked in on us and I'm sure she told Megumi or else the other girl wouldn't have known, so that meant that it bothered Kaoru enough that she had to get it off her chest. Who was I kidding? Of course it bothered her. I mean even if she just had a slight liking toward me I still betrayed her trust, if nothing else.

I frowned and tried to keep my eyes from flitting over to her. She hadn't noticed, but by the agitated raise in one of Sano's eyebrows he did. Regardless to how ruffled Sano would become I didn't want to talk about this so lightly in front of not only the two girls we led on, but Aoshi, who was seething from the seat just beside Kaoru every time Sano opened his mouth.

"I don't think we did," I replied in a quiet tone. It didn't worry me though, all of us had to be tested before we came on the show and as far as I knew, Sano hadn't been sleeping around with anyone else.

"What's wrong?" he joked and nudged my arm, leaning closer to my ear.

This was obviously a show and one I had used myself times before. It was fun to make other suitors jealous and flaunt what they missed out on, but in this situation—in Kaoru's situation I knew she couldn't handle that game. Or at least I knew she wouldn't let me remain a friend if I played the game with Sano. So I shook my head and gave him a pointed, but gently chiding look. "Stop it. Now's not the time."

He glared. "What, but they're—"

"Sano, please," I asked my expression shifting to concern.

He shut his mouth and scowled, grumbling something even I, who was beside him, couldn't decipher. I was resigned to the fact that I would need to talk to him later, just like I needed to talk to Kaoru…and Aoshi. I sighed and rubbed at my eyes when Jonathan walked into the tense room to start the meeting. It was going to be a long week.

YAHIKO

I smoothly glided into the meeting room, attempting to look cool and carefree (which I wasn't). I quickly looked around, watching for someone to acknowledge my presence. They all seemed occupied though. Kaoru looked remarkably good today. The only one who really seemed to notice me was, so help me god, Misao, who nodded at me with a most cunning smile by way of greeting. There was a tensed atmosphere. I wondered why.

"You boys did you protection, right? AIDS and STDs are serious," Megumi said.

My eyes snapped open as I heard Megumi mentioning 'protection', 'AIDS' and 'STD' in the same sentence. My sleep deprived brain did a fast rewind, as I'd sort of walked in on Kenshin and the roosterhead making out in our shared room yesterday.

But of course!

All sorts of recollections, conclusions and light bulbs started accumulating in my head. My legs felt dangerously wobbly, and I was swamped with the sudden urge to sit. My head was turning so much, I didn't realize my unfortunate mistake of sitting down next to Misao, and it was only the insistent "pssst"-ing in my ear that made me aware of that.

"What is it!" I snapped, turning my head in a rather annoyed fashion.

"Did you score?" Misao hissed under her breath, not at all phased.

I winced, quite visibly, at her shamelessness. "Misao, I don't see Tsubame as something to 'score' with," I began, but gave up my mimicry of gentleman when she directed her "yeah right" eyes on me. Who was I kidding here, I needed to get laid. Badly! "No," I sighed.

"Aw, you didn't follow my dating advice?" she chided, stomping me in the arm, pretty hard, I might say. "You did buy her something nice, didn't you?"

"I couldn't."

"What do you mean, you couldn't?"

My answer was a rather vicious nod towards the happy couple, sitting a few chairs away. "Couldn't get to my money. So I just gave her my PS2 game."

"You gave her your…! Oh, smooth Yahiko. Very smooth," Misao bit out.

"She was happy with it!" Thankfully, I was saved from further interrogation as the producer called for our attention. My mind couldn't focus on what he was saying though. It kept on traveling back to yesterday.

---

Flashback

I still stayed in the bar for a pretty long time, munching over Misao's words and the straw of my empty bacardi bottle. I was planning in my head what I was gonna say to Tsubame over and over again. I pretty much had an idea of how it was gonna go. She yelling, me begging. It was not something I looked forward to.

But I had to do it! Look, I'm not gonna say that Tsubame's my only chance on a decent relationship. I could have plenty. But I didn't want anyone other than Tsubame.

I must've growled out loud. The bartender looked at me rather funny.

Not that I cared, of course.

I shoved myself off my barstool and sauntered outside. The rain was still pouring down, and I hurried towards my room. Resting my back against the door, I once again tried to convince myself that it would all be fine.

And then I heard something. I couldn't really tell what it was. It had sounded somewhat like a loud gasp or a moan.

But surely, that was impossible! Where could that have come…?

Wait…

Wait!

I whipped around. "No…" I hissed, and couldn't resist laying my ear against the door. They weren't…?

"Kenshin, god, I want you." It had been Sano's voice.

Ew eeew, they were!

I bolted, not even realizing where. I just ran and ran, shaking my head at the mental image the sounds had evoked.

Ew, is all I can say.

I kept on running until I'd finally realized I had reached the long hallway where Tsubame's room was. And then I stopped. I took it as a sign from god. Now I was forced to stay with Tsubame tonight. It was debatable whether that was a good or a bad sign.

My stomach lurched and my heart did a summersault. Well, then I'd just have to do it without a present. I didn't have much more to lose anyway.

As I walked down the hall towards Tsubame's room, I felt like everyone I came across with seemed to be looking at me with judging eyes, as if they knew what bad record I had. Look, there goes Yahiko, crawling back to his girlfriend to beg for forgiveness.

She wasn't my girlfriend. She wasn't even my friend anymore. I'd managed sure to screw even that up.

My courage was pretty much starting to mimic the movements the waves made as I passed door after door. Rising and falling. It probably had already blown over.

Rising.

Yahiko, you asked her to sleep with you in front of people she doesn't even know, that's not something that blows over that quickly.

Falling.

But then again, I was drunk. When you're drunk, you don't have any control over yourself.

Rising.

You shouldn't have got that drunk in the first place. You took the pinkish stuff, like Kaoru.

Falling.

So Sano could go and slip in some hard liquor? It would've had the same effect.

Rising.

I was standing in front of her door now.

And my courage was dramatically falling again.

I took a deep breath and knocked. Knocking. Neutral. Could be anyone.

"Who is it?"

See, I knew she would do this. "Y… Yahiko…" I ventured out of my throat. "Myojin."

Silence. I waited for the more or less predictable answer to come.

"Go away!"

And voila!

"I need to talk to you, Tsubame!" I persisted.

"There's nothing to say," it sounded at the other side of the door.

Bowing my head, I sighed. "There are plenty of things to say! Please don't let a stupid mistake destroy what we had!"

"We didn't have anything!"

I cringed inside at those words. How could she say that? We had shared so much together. Watched hundreds of sunsets, had seen the sakura blossoms fall so beautifully. Once, we had even taken a bath together, as toddlers of five years old. The wonder it was to discover that I had a weenie and she had a slit. After transforming the bathroom in a local swimming pool, we had run around the house naked, my mother chasing us with a big towel. Then we snuggled together and drank hot cocoa, with a straw.

I often wondered if she'd still remember that.

But could an obstacle like this wipe those memories away and reduce them to crumbles of thoughts getting lost into oblivion?

"You know that's not true, Tsubame. We did have something. We had a friendship that ran as deep as the very ocean we're cruising on! Doesn't that mean anything at all to you!"

Another silence. I wished I could've seen her right then. Was her face still angry? Or rather sad? Was she raking up the same memories as I had?

"I'll consider it," she said finally.

"Then can't you consider it while I'm inside?" I said, uncomfortably peering over my shoulder. "People are staring at me because I'm yelling like this!"

"Then stop yelling!"

"It's the only way I can talk to you!"

I waited while she considered considering it with me inside the room.

Witty, I know.

The door opened, and she peeked behind it with a shy smile, a smile that masked her frustrated feelings, making another wave of guilt crash over me. She was so sweet, she didn't deserve to be treated like I had. My eyes lowered in shame, I entered. Behind me, I heard the door clicking shut. I didn't dare to turn around, didn't dare to look at her. She moved around me and went standing in front of me.

"You have hurt me, Yahiko," she said silently.

"I know," I said, bowing my head even deeper. "I know I did. And I'm sorry for that, I really am." I swear, I really was close to begging and groveling on that moment. "Please, can you forgive me?"

I felt her fingers under my chin and she pushed my head up. "Look me in the eye when you say you're sorry and ask for forgiveness," she said, anger bursting through that soft face of hers and an ugly frown creasing the smooth surface of her forehead.

"I'm sorry, Tsubame," I said again, hoping the sincerity of my words showed through in my eyes. That ugly frown was determined to stay there, if anything, it even deepened.

"Do you realize how those friends of yours will see me now?" she yelled, flailing her arms in her fervor. "They will see me as your personal slut who will sleep with you whenever you feel like it with your sick, horny mind!"

"That's not true!" I said, slightly shocked by her harsh words. So that's how it was now. She had a twisted image of herself because of me, and I could only resort to self pity to convince her of the opposite. "How they see you is as a victim. A victim of me, rutting Yahiko who walks behind every skirt he sees!"

"Isn't that the case then?" she snapped, her eyes still piercing into mine. Hurt flashed through my heart. Was this really how she saw me?

"Tsubame," I choked. Instantly after she had said those words, I could see regret flitting through her eyes.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean that," she said, lowering her eyes. "It was just my anger running away with me." She heaved a sigh and went sitting on her bed. "Why did you do that, Yahiko?"

She didn't object when I came sitting next to her. Good Yahiko, one step in the right direction. "This might sound stupid, and it probably will, but I thought I was dreaming."

She looked up at me with a funny look. "You thought you were dreaming?" she asked, arching an eyebrow.

"Yes, I thought, hey, this isn't real anyway. Might as well ask her."

"So you would dream about going to bed with me?" she concluded.

"That's not what I meant!" I said quickly. "It was still very realistic. I was clearly aware of my surroundings, that Sano was standing next to me, that Aoshi and Misao were still in the room. That's just what made it so weird."

"Oh, so you dream about humiliating me in front of all these people by asking me to go to bed with you in their presence?"

"No! Tsubame, please!" Was I making this worse? I was, wasn't I? "How can I make you see that…"

"Yahiko."

Surprised, I looked down where her hands had taken mine. Looking up again, I saw her eyes betraying her malicious enjoyment. The pathetic sinner had suffered enough under her wrath.

"It's okay," she smiled. "But please promise me you'll never do such a foolish thing again. To get drunk and then say things you'll regret."

I watched her chewing her bottom lip. Adorable how she always did that when she was nervous or insecure. It must've been a girly thing, I guess. Kaoru did that too, sometimes. And Megumi. And… eh yeah, Misao was half a boy.

"I promise."

"Really?"

"Pinkie on it?" It was a childhood thing we always did.

"Okay," she chirped.

We linked our little fingers together and said the saying. "A promise is a promise, if you don't keep it, you'll have to swallow a thousand of needles."

She laughed, a most heavenly sound. "You know, that always sounded more like a threat to me."

"Go figure. If I'm prepared to do that for you," I smiled simplistically.

"You're a charmer, Yahiko Myojin."

"Ah, but you fall for it every time."

The atmosphere was a lot more pleasant after that. I was sure I would say or do something to screw it up again. Hey, it's the story of my teenage life!

"It's funny, don't you think?" I said after a while, leaning back on her bed.

She cocked her head and narrowed her eyes a bit. "What?" she asked with a gentle smile.

"I know what words to use, I just don't know when to use them."

Her smile faded and all of a sudden an adulthood beyond her young age shone in her eyes, her entire face even. "Would you like that then, to sleep with me?" she said softly.

All hail! Yes! Definitely going in the right direction!

"Tsubame," I said surprised, unable to hide the excitement in my voice. It was already late in the day. I was planning on spending the night (well, I still had to beg for that). Could tonight be the night? I felt my little buddy down there giving an enthusiastic jump. It would, if it were up to him. "Do you mean… Can I?"

She briefly squeezed my hands. Why were her eyes growing so sad?

Aah… told you I would screw it up again.

"I'm sorry, Yahiko."

No! Nono! This wasn't good! Don't start apologizing on me now!

"But you really shouldn't ask this from me."

Nonono! Was I making too much of a drama out of this? Yeah, maybe I was, I don't know, hell, I didn't really care at that moment! She was rejecting me again like she had already done so many times. About time I found out why.

"Tsubame, why not?" I said, grabbing her shoulders and not really knowing whether to comfort her or be firm with her. "You keep on turning me down. I understand that sleeping with you might be too fast, but dammit, you won't even let me kiss you! Why not Tsubame!"

"Please Yahiko, don't push it." She was crying now. Every soft sob tore at my heart, but no, tears wouldn't do the trick this time. I persisted.

"Tsubame, I'm putting my foot down. I have a right to know," I said. My tone had softened a bit, though it was still firm. "You keep on rejecting me for no reason, saying that it's not my fault. Then what is it?"

With a shaky sigh, she looked up at me. "I believe I already explained that to you, last time you were here." And don't make me repeat myself, the undertone of her voice said.

Ah yes, afraid that we might break up fighting and never speak to each other again.

I dropped my hand from her shoulder and went to her hands instead. "Tsubame, I will never turn you down. You're worth too much to me," I said determinedly.

She sighed again, deeper this time, and let her head drop on her chest. I sign of defeat? "Yahiko," she croaked. "You talk about everlasting love, while in fact we both are nothing but mere children."

Oh, first I'm a lady-killer and now I'm a child all of a sudden. Like the wind that girl, really. "I love you, Tsubame," I said.

She sadly looked up at me for a moment before resting her head again on my chest, her hands gripping my shirt like a lifeline. "Oh Yahiko. When you say those words they sound so beautiful. They don't sound abnormal out of your mouth," she murmured.

Abnormal? Who had made them sound abnormal? Who had twisted those words to something not beautiful? "Tsubame, what are you talking about?" I asked confused.

"Nothing!" she said startled with an upright jerk of her head. "Nothing, forget what I said." Please, please, please, stop asking those questions now, her eyes begged.

Let's just put it aside for now. Not forget.

I sighed and shook my head. "Tsubame, what's the use of having someone to tell your problems to if you don't tell them?" I said.

She fell silent and slowly tilted her head in a very childlike manner. I let her the time to understand what I was trying to say, then saw her eyes trailing to the camera that had been following me inside. "I don't want that thing watching us while I'm telling this to you," she said.

Aha! I knew there was something!

"But I don't want to wait another six months either."

She was starting to cave in. She wanted me just as much as I wanted her, and that wasn't just my manly ego speaking. I could see it in her eyes. "So then, are you gonna tell me what's wrong now?" I asked.

"Let me think about it first, Yahiko. Let me figure out a way to let you know in the most discrete way possible. Like… a letter or something."

"Tsubame?"

"Don't worry, Yahiko. I know I'm making you confused with all this secret stuff. But I wouldn't beat around the bushes this much if it wasn't necessary. You'll understand once you know everything."

My face must've been either very pathetic or extremely lovable, for she gently took my head in both her hands. I went for the first option.

"I love you, Yahiko," she whispered.

I think I almost literally felt my heart jumping with joy (and not only my heart). First time ever I heard her saying those words to me! And it sounded damn fine. Then she kissed me. My cheek, that is. Oh, glory be!

"You… you want to go to the swimming pool with me sometime?" I stuttered, just to say something.

"Oh, you want to see me in my bathing suit, don't you?" she chuckled.

"N no. No! Mind you, I've already seen you in your bathing suit lots of times, back at home! And… and last time, you opened the door when you had just showered, and you only had that towel… you know?" Man, I sure had become clumsy with words after one single kiss. On the cheek. Looking good if we ever were to actually, you know… sleep together. "It's just that, every time we meet it's in your room, or in the bar sometimes when you have to work and I'm sitting there with some of the others. But we can still do stuff when you don't have to work, right?"

"Alright. Yeah, swimming sounds fun," she smiled, standing up. "So, I'll see you around then."

I didn't want to leave. Eh yeah, tiny problem. I couldn't leave!

"Ehm, Tsubame…?" I asked, still careful enough. "Can I ask you a favor?"

"Huh? Oh, sure," Tsubame said.

Okay, for once, let's try to handle this diplomatically. "I kinda have no sleeping place. Wait, let me explain," I said quickly as she opened her mouth to speak. "You know that I share a room with Kenshin and Sano, and… well… How shall I say this?" My grimacing face seemed to be more than enough though.

"Are they…?" she asked with a knowing grin.

"Yeah…" I sighed. "I'm not exactly wild about the idea of sleeping there with them two lost in their little world."

"Perhaps you're a bit jealous?"

"No!" I spluttered quickly, shooting upright, but she could see that the shock in my expression was fake. As gross as it still was, I indeed was pretty envious of them.

She chuckled and tiptoed to get closer to my face, pulling herself up a bit on my shoulders. "I tell you what," she whispered, and I swear, something was twitching again as I felt her breath on my cheek. "If you promise to be good, I will let you…"

I swallowed thickly and my legs were definitely trembling now. She would let me…? Continue, continue!

"Hey," she suddenly said, looking down a bit. "What's that?"

"What's what?" I asked with a rather awkward little voice.

"This… hard thing…"

Dear god in heaven, how I was praying she wasn't talking about that 'hard thing' in my pants. But I sighed with relieve as she was poking in my stomach instead. Against the PS2 game I'd hidden there in my inside pocket.

"Ah, that," I smiled nervously, opening my vest. "It's a… a game. A PS2 game." She looked suspiciously excited about it. Perhaps I could…

"Do… do you like it?"

"You mean…" She looked up at me with hopeful eyes. "Is it… for me?"

"Y-yeah, to make up," I nodded, smiling like an idiot. "See, I'm good now, aren't I- Whoa!" She literally pounced on me, and we both fell on the bed. She on top. Me, sweaty and panting, beneath.

"Thank you, Yahiko!" she squealed.

I squealed as well. For totally different reasons. "But… but I'm good, aren't I? You would let me do something if I were good, right Tsubame?" Pathetic much? But you can hold nothing against me! I was lying in a bed, with her, and her leg nudging against my groin! Oh god!

"Mmhh… That's what I said, wasn't it? I would let you do something," she purred with a most mysterious smile.

"What?" I demanded softly.

"I will let you…" and now she leaned so very close, her mouth against my ear, "I will let you sleep next to me in my bed."

I think I just mentally swooned, kinda. "T that'd be… that'd be great," I stuttered slash panted.

"Yahiko!"

"Uh? What?"

"Yahiko!"

"Uh? What?" I jerked up as I heard Misao's voice tooting in my ear. I dunno, I think I must've snored or something. Everyone was looking at me, the producer in particular looking extremely pissed. I'm not doing this on purpose, I swear!

"Looks like you doze off there for a moment, buddy," Misao grinned, obviously amused with my embarrassment.

"S sorry," I mumbled, while I pushed myself in a more decent position in my chair. The producer cleared his throat and continued in his monotonous voice. Well, excu-use me! Sleep deprived, I told ya! Weird stuff can happen when I'm like that!

Anyway, the reason why I was so sleep deprived was Tsubame's behavior. What was she playing at? First she keeps on pushing me away, and then she all of a sudden lets me sleep next to her (not complaining though). Was this some kind of cruel game she was playing, and may the best win? It had kept me up most of the night. And then that letter. When would she give that to me?

What the hell had happened to her?

KAORU

I swallowed when I realized that I had been reading and rereading the same page in the packet for far too long to be believable. I just didn't know what to do with myself, the fierce indignation of before now giving way to empty, hollow hurt. Having Kenshin sitting across from me like this, when the last time I saw him he was comforting me through my tears and holding me close, was just too much for me to bear.

The table had gone quiet, broken occasionally by Yahiko and Misao bickering about his falling asleep. God, where was Jonathan… could we just get this over with so I could get the hell out of here?

Finally I gave into the tension and let my gaze leave the sheets in front of me, gliding upwards as if on a set course to lock eyes with Kenshin. His violet pair was unreadable, or maybe I was just too consumed with my own feelings of betrayal to distinguish anyone's emotions but my own. I tried to keep my expression blank, but I knew I was sending him one clear, concise message.

How could you?

I kept the eye contact for what seemed like a terribly long time, knots twisting in my stomach and hands fisted in my lap. Just to see Kenshin and Sano sitting next to each other at this meeting, just to think about the last meeting after Kenshin and I kissed - no, it was way more than a kiss - when Kenshin and I were sitting next to each other, when he held my hand beneath the table…

How could you?

I looked away quickly when Jonathan whisked into the room, taking a seat at the head of the table with obvious enthusiasm. "Helllooooo, my beautiful real-worlders!" He announced. "I see you all have your packets, those are for future reference in regards to your floor show assignment, just some numbers and stats and stuff. What I really want to talk about is your first mission."

I kept my eyes glued to Jonathan, glued to his mouth as he chattered. Under no circumstances was I going to look at Kenshin. I never wanted to look at him again. At least, not until next week.

"Missions," Jonathan continued, "will be assigned at least once a month. I know what you're thinking, this isn't Road Rules, but they're just opportunities for you guys to earn some extra cash, and I know you all need that."

"Hear hear!" Sano clapped his hand against the table, and I struggled not to glare at him. How could he be so casual? How could he be so… ugh! He was everything I would have thought he was on the first day, everything I refused to label him as at the beginning.

"For our first mission," Jonathan said, "we're entering out beautiful real world girls into a swimsuit contest."

I nearly choked, sure I had misheard. "Swimsuit contest?" I gawked.

"Yep, Kaoru, Megumi, and Misao will be entering the ship's swimsuit contest. The boys will help them practice their…" he waggled his eyebrows, "provocative walk."

Megumi scoffed and re-crossed her legs, while I was busy being paralyzed by sheer terror.

Jonathan continued. "If all three girls place in the top ten, each of the seven of you will get a $1,000 bonus this week. If even one does not place, all seven of you will be washing dishes in the dinning hall for the next week."

There was a collective groan. "I don't look good in yellow gloves," Sano said, "so you girls better be hot."

Jonathan reached into a box an assistant had brought in and placed beside him, producing a strange looking piece of fabric. "Ladies, I have your suits picked out already."

"Those are swimsuits?" I whined, glaring at the skimpy spandex "ensembles" he was dangling from his fingertips.

"Yes," Jonathan nodded. "And they were made to fit you based on the measurements we acquired at the start of your trip. Megumi, you will be in dark red, Kaoru, you will be in black, and Misao, you will be in jade green."

What a jerk! Black is supposed to slim you out, I already am lacking in the cleavage department, thank you very much. Anyway, who was I to go traipsing around in a bathing suit with skin like mine? I raised my hand tentatively, clearing my throat when he nodded at me. "Um…" I stuttered, "are you sure it has to be the girls? I'm sure any of the guys here would look better in a bikini than I would…"

Jonathan shook his head firmly. "Girls only, those are contest rules. There will be other missions for the guys later in the trip. All three of you girls have to participate and place, or you forfeit the competition and will be washing dishes."

I couldn't believe this, this was outrageous. Not only did I have to run around half-naked, I had to do it and impress people. I had to do it and look better than dozens of other beautiful women. That was asking the impossible of me. Couldn't I just agree to do everyone's share of the dishes and cut my losses?

Megumi placed a hand on my shoulder comfortingly. "Don't worry about it, Kaoru-chan. I'll work with you, we'll knock 'em dead."

That's so easy for you to say, Megumi, you're practically a super model. I didn't even meet the height requirements.

"Ok," Jonathan said, "are there any other questions?"

No one said anything, and Jonathan started to pack up his things. I panicked. Somebody had to do something. This was not happening. This could not happen. I could not do this. I raised my hand.

"Yes, Kaoru?"

I opened and closed my mouth a few times, trying to think of something to say, some excuse. Jonathan's eyes were dancing with amusement. I couldn't believe this. The Real World staff knew about my skin, they had to know, they were watching me change and shower with cameras, they had access to all of my medical records. They were probably doing this just to torture me for the sick entertainment of the thousands at home watching TV.

Basically, I was a like a poodle in the circus, wearing a party hat and jumping through hoops, and here I was, trying to go through some kind of personal emotional revolution.

I shook my head in defeat, my gaze dropping to my hands in my lap, watching my fingers curl helplessly. I studied the pattern of the hem of my skirt, the way the white lace wove in and around itself. I was assaulted by how pathetic my situation was… a struggling musician all painted and plastered with makeup playing dressup to impress a bartender who slept with someone else, while meanwhile carrying around excess baggage from high school. On TV no less.

"Never mind," I said quietly, "I forgot what I was going to say."

"Ok!" Jonathan grinned. "I will leave you guys to your own devices. The competition is on Saturday, we'll have a follow-up meeting after that. Good luck!"

With that, he gathered his things and left the room, sealing my fate. For a few moments, everybody just stared at each other, but eventually I just couldn't take it any more, getting up from my chair with a sigh, and grabbing my packet I left the room.

MEGUMI

A swimsuit competition?

A swimsuit competition?

Pathetic.

My parents were, unfortunately, right. This whole show, this ridiculous game, was pathetic and pointless and, if I really thought about, not a whole lot of fun anymore, especially given the sad state of my teammates.

Teammates? Wrong word choice, really. Teammates implies a team, people you can trust and count on. Well, let's see...

There's Kaoru-chan, who for all the world looks like she had misplaced her trust in Kenshin. Then there's Kenshin, who apparently has proven himself just as worthless and two faced as the rooster he's sitting with. There's Aoshi and who knows why he joined the show, because he hasn't cracked a smile once. There's Misao, who gives a new meaning to the words "sugar high." Yahiko's a horny teenager and, given the male company he has to choose from, before you know it, he may be sleeping with the little waitress and the rest of the catering staff.

Suffice to say, this is turning into a very disappointing break from university studies. And I feel sorry for Kaoru-chan. She wears her emotions on her sleeve and clearly her heart has been stepped on by our male "teammates."

Disgusting. All of this.

I shot a glance at the boys, who were quite possibly trying to choke each other with their tongues.

"You disgust me," I snapped before I had the chance to reign my thoughts in. The boys disentangled themselves and looked at me.

Well, no choice but to continue.

I fixed my gaze on Kenshin. "Out of every person here, I expected
better from you. When you made your obvious overtures toward Kaoru, it seemed like you were actually serious." I stood, smoothed my sundress down. "I don't particularly care who you choose to sleep with. You apparently consider yourself a grown man, so you have that right."

Misao's eyes, if possible, had actually widened considerably.

"But if you were going to bed the first boy who came around whining for it, you could have had the basic human decency not to use Kaoru and then step all over her heart."

Kenshin looked... pathetic and sad. Good. Good, I'm glad. He also looked like he wanted to say something whiny and defensive, well, later for that garbage.

I picked up my straw handbag and crossed the room in a quick stride. "Misao, come to me later so we can discuss the details of the competition." And I left.

Maybe I'll go watch a movie. I'm not in much of a mood for anything else.

KENSHIN

I couldn't imagine what level of wretched I looked at that moment. I felt like I was going to throw up, but my throat was so tight I couldn't even speak. I flushed red from embarrassment, when Megumi had called attention to Sano's attack on my neck. I had only kissed him briefly to stave him, but I had no idea what she saw when she looked up at us. And then...she slapped me with the truth.

It wasn't as if I didn't know what I had done wrong. That was about the time the nausea set in. I followed after Megumi's form as she left and let my eyes panned down to see Misao's shell-shocked expression. Without a word the petite girl bowed her head and slunk out of the room, tailing Megumi. I don't think I'd even seen her so quiet.

"Don't listen to—"

"She's right, Sano," I snapped, cutting off my boyfriend before he could try and comfort me with false remarks. Aoshi and Yahiko were still in the room. Yahiko's curiosity probably just got the better of him, but I knew Aoshi waited for me to take my leave so he could give me a piece of his mind too. I lowered my head to my folded arms and sighed. "This isn't how I should have gone about doing this. I know. If I'd have just been honest talked to her, refused you—"

"So now you don't want it? Are you going to blame me for last night?" Sano snarled. He could feel him recoiling from me without even looking up. I could feel his warmth retreat.

"No, that's not what I meant," I whined, lifting my head. Sano didn't look convinced when I tilted my gaze to his direction. My brow pulled in even tighter. "Sano, I want this don't get me wrong. We just have some things we have to discuss."

"God, do we really have to overanalyze this?" he growled. His fist clenched on the table as he glowered at me.

"I guess you would rather just fuck?" The comment wasn't mine and it was far from something that would calm Sano, so I felt the daggers that I shot Aoshi for saying were well deserved.

"Aoshi—"

"Don't mess with me sullen boy, I will fucking punch you without guilt," Sano seethed. When he stood from the table I followed suit, placing a hand to shoulder and turning him to me. I didn't need a physical fight right now. He continued to glare at Aoshi, but at least he wouldn't be going anywhere with my finger hooked in one of his belt loops.

"Sano, stop. There are too many emotions involved right now. We can't be so brazen with our actions," I warned him. He looked back at me then, running a hand through his spiky hair. He still bristled, but seemed calmer. "None of this is your responsibility. I'm the one who messed up. So please, let me take care of Kaoru." My eyes slid to the dark glare across the table. "And Aoshi."

"Fine by me," Sano scoffed and brushed me off him. He kicked his
chair out of the way and stuffed his hand in his pockets, maneuvering around me as if to leave the room. I closed my eyes at his departure and let my shoulder sag.

"Kenshin..." I started at Yahiko's voice, expecting Aoshi's and turned to the younger boy with a raised brow. "You need a drink?"

I stared at him for a long moment, then let a small smile break through. "Yes...yes, I do."

"Kenshin," Aoshi warned, pushing his chair back.

"I'll talk to you later, I promise." He didn't seem pleased with my words, crossing his arms over his chest with a deep frown on his face. I rolled my eyes to the ceiling with a heavy sigh. "Please, Aoshi. I need to clear my head before I dive into this."

"Isn't it a little late for that?" My head dropped to my collarbone; I still felt nauseous. "Getting drunk isn't your answer right now."

"I wasn't planning on getting drunk," I chuckled, giving my old friend a sidelong glance. "I'm not that stupid." He raised his dark brow in challenge to that statement, but pushed in his chair and took up his packet.

"Come to the room when you want to talk," he offered and tapped the rolled up packet on my head as he passed, heading out the door. I looked at Yahiko and gave him a shrug.

"Was that an affectionate gesture?" the youngest of our group asked,
jabbing a thumb in Aoshi's direction. I snickered; I suppose none of them saw the little hints of kindness Aoshi showed every now and then.

"Come on, lets get that drink."

---

KAORU

"I hate you," I whispered solemnly, my lips pressed into a firm and serious line, despite the childishness of my behavior. "I hate every one of you, I hate everything about you." My voice was low and throaty, occasionally broken by built up tears I was denying existed. The silver backed mirror in front of me shone my expression stern and unwavering, and I wondered briefly if my harsh words were really directed at just me, instead of the scars I had been obsessing over for the past quarter of an hour.

I usually tried not to look. I knew where all of them were, I had memorized their length and depth and color. I knew which ones were welts and which ones puffed up the slightest bit. I knew which ones had tiny white dots around them, scars added by the medical staples that had once held my skin together, and I knew which ones were just a plain mess, due to the time I tripped and ripped the stitches back open. I knew them like the drunken friends that just wouldn't go away, always breathing down your back, always whispering your downfall. Still, despite my acquaintance with the lines that marred my body, I tried not to look. I dressed quickly, never in front of the mirror, never in front of the window. I showered quickly, usually singing with my eyes closed. I looked at the ceilings during necessary doctor's appointments. There was no point looking at them, all they brought was pain, bad memorizes, self loathing. And although I knew the exact amount I had and their locations, a number I do not want to think about, it seemed that when I did venture to take a look, that they multiplied, grew more grotesque, cut into my once flawless skin more repulsively than ever.

This was probably the longest I've ever spent looking at them, and I was amazed that I hadn't broken down yet. I was just in my jeans and bra, originally set on stripping and getting quickly into my PJs, but got sidetracked when I accidentally caught view of the mirror. Perhaps my ability to keep my composure for so long had to do with the odd occurrence of my scolding my scars, as if they were separate from me, as if expressing my disgust towards them would hurt them and make them leave. No such luck, they stared back at me as stubborn as ever, perfectly content with corrupting my skin. And part of me knew that I really was saying I hated myself, since my scars were as much

a part of me as my eyes or my nose or my hair or my heart, but at this point I didn't know what else to say. I did hate them, I hated them (me?) more than I could possibly put into words.

I hated them because they made me hide, because they made me remember, because they made me ashamed and guilty and ugly, because they took away my confidence and my happiness, because they scared me and the world, because of my scars I had lost another friend.

I shouldn't have told him.

But what can I say? I was drunk, I've never been drunk before, and it makes you do uncharacteristic things… god knows I've seen it happen before. I guess he had just seemed so kind and gentle, and I guess he made me feel like it was okay to be who I was, and I thought "hey, he seems to like me more the more I tell him about myself, maybe if I sink the big one…" hah. No such luck.

Now okay, I admit, Sano is an amazingly attractive guy, and he's smart and funny and witty too, but it seemed Kenshin's bailing on me for Sano was far too coincidentally linked to my telling him the absolute truth about me. I know he and Sano had something going on and all, I just… I dunno, I guess I thought we had something going on as well, and Kenshin didn't seem the type to leave things unfinished.

I slid two fingers across a delicate scar that traced over my collar bone and down between my breasts, recalling vaguely how painful that particular one had been to receive. I didn't feel most of them individually; it was just one huge amount of pain enveloping me, but that one I do remember was especially unpleasant. I sighed, my hand dropping back to the dresser as I bowed my head a little more. I had lined myself up for this, I knew it. It was foolish of me to ever believe that Kenshin could see through my scars, why should I have expected him to? He was just human after all, and it's human nature to be frightened by monsters.

Hell, they scare me, of course Kenshin was grossed out. Who wouldn't be a little perturbed by a midget of a girl with a gory past, who cries instead of sweats and finds it easier to sing Italian opera than look at her own reflection.

I saw my tears slide across the back of my hand before I felt them leave my eyes, and I growled, my emotions that refused to be caged any longer frustrating me further. It was times like these that I wished Danko was here, to slap some damn sense into me. There was no use pouting, it would accomplish nothing. There was nothing to be accomplished…

I growled slightly, picking my discarded shirt off the floor and tugging it back over my head, before wiping my eyes roughly with the back of my hand. I needed fresh air. Getting into my PJs and crawling into bed right now would not be a good idea. Being a self dubbed loner for the past two years gives you a good opportunity to get to know yourself (or what was left of you) and I knew the minute my head hit that pillow I would be a puddle of whiney sobs.

Damn. Just thinking about not crying for two seconds left my tear ducts undaunted, and out they came. I couldn't help it. Crying was the norm for me, like sweating, my body getting rid of substance in order to ease pain or discomfort or stress. I guess it kind of works, since I always feel sedated after a long passionate cry, like there was just nothing left in me to release. Maybe that's why I made a habit of crying myself to sleep when I went to private school, because it tired me out and made me drowsy, forcing me to sleep whether I wanted to or not. I remember reading somewhere that crying burns a lot of calories… that could also be a factor in my extreme skinniness.

The door opened gently then, and in stepped a sympathetic looking Sano, watching me as I stood in the middle of the room, hands hanging limply at my sides and face turned up to the ceiling as I bawled my eyes out. I'm such a loser sometimes, I really am.

"Jou-chan?" He asked quietly, stepping in slowly and closing the door softly behind him.

SANO

She really did look like a little girl then, when she looked at me. Her eyes held more pain in them then I thought such an innocent chick could ever hold, but it was there, clear as day. The shimmer of her tears brought out her eyes, making them bluer than ever, accented by the damp lashes bordering them.

I felt terrible. I knew what she was crying about, and I knew it was kind of my fault. I didn't mean to hurt her, really. I just… "Kaoru, I…I'm really sorry. I didn't mean to hurt you in this I just… I just really like Kenshin, that's all." I shifted my stance, getting a little uncomfortable. "Don't be so hard on yourself…there are other guys out there, I'm sure you-"

She laughed then, kind of cynically actually, collapsing lazily into her desk chair and leaning her head on one fisted hand as her elbow was propped on the arm rest. "Oh Sano, it's not that. I stopped crying over boys long ago."

KAORU

That wasn't exactly a lie. In fact, it was pretty darn true. I cried a lot now, but like I said, it's like my body's way of coping with stress and sadness, not some monumental thing. I was crying for a reason this time, it's true, but it wasn't so much the failure of any romantic connection, it was the realization for the umpty-umpth time that no, I could not let my guard down and not be lonely. A fact of life and yes, it upset me very much.

So I was being honest when I said I wasn't crying over Kenshin, because this one instance with the red head was just the icing on my cake of misery. I was hurt, I did like Kenshin… a lot, I was disappointed, and I was…heartbroken, but I was just so freaking tired of my stupid scars getting in the way of my life, so I cried.

Sano looked skeptical, and I didn't blame him. He'd just started dating this amazing guy, and the loser of the non-existant fight over him was not dying of jealousy? Impossible! Yeah… I was jealous, but envy was just not the first thing on my mind right now.

Sometimes, when you really get fed up with yourself, when you get that tingly feeling all over your skin and you just wish against wish that you could be anyone else, you seem to forget about your everyday woes. I was too deep in my self disgust at the moment to think much about my battered feelings for a certain violet eyed bartender. Whether Sano wanted to believe that one was up to him, and I really didn't care to explain.

SANO

Denial. I shook my head sympathetically, wishing there was something I could do to help, but knowing she'd get over it in time. If I didn't hurry, I'd be late in meeting Kenshin, so I had to cut the consolation short. "Well, let me know if you ever want to talk and…about this whole thing… no hard feelings, right?"

She stared at me blankly, then her expression changed as if she were looking at a crazy person. Haha, of course there were hard feelings. I slept with the guy she wanted. How could there not be hard feelings. She smirked, swiveling in her chair as she let out a long sigh, brushing away tears as they continued to silently fall. "Right Sano, no hard feelings," she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "Go have fun, you love bird, you."

I nodded grimly and turned towards the door. After a moment, I turned back. "Hey, I have an idea… meet me on the deck in a few hours?"

---

SANO

Kaoru stood in front of me, clutching her bathrobe around her and shuffling her feet. She was the picture of timid, eyes darting about, teeth worrying her lower lip, fingers fumbling with her terry cloth sleeves.

"Relax," I laughed, leaning back in my lounge chair. We were out on the sun deck, but it was late, and dark, and there was no one around. I had convinced Kaoru to come practice with me for the competition the following day. "It took you long enough to get ready."

She looked down at her feet and didn't say anything, then shrugged off her robe, placing it on an empty chair and then turning back to me, hands clasped in front of her, practically cowering.

I couldn't for the life of me understand why she always insisted on hiding under so many layers. She had a petite, but practically perfect figure, all toned muscle and gently sloping curves, accentuated by the black "bikini" (if you could even call it that) that Jonathan had picked out for the girls to wear. Her skin was flawless, almost unreal, in the moonlight, and yet she looked so uncomfortable standing in front of me, almost ashamed.

"Stand up straight," I said gently, nodding in approval when she complied. "You're a beautiful girl, Kaoru."

She looked skeptical, and pressed her lips together, pushing her loose hair over one shoulder. "Thank you," she said quietly, but looked as if she thought I was teasing her.

"Don't look so shocked," I laughed, enjoying the blush that bloomed over her cheeks. "I'm sure you receive flattery all the time."

"Only from men that don't know any better," she said coldly, crossing her arms in front of her.

I raised an eyebrow, choosing not to take her bait. I didn't come out here to fight with her. In fact, I wanted to mend things as much as possible. "Hey, I'm just saying what I see."

"So?" She scowled. "Not looking close enough or looking at all the wrong things is a common deficiency in males."

I scoffed. "Oh, so now you don't like men?"

"No, just you," she stated calmly, gaze flicking out to sea.

Anger suited her. She had a charming smile and a laugh that could melt any heart, but seeing her like this… she seemed to age ten years. Her eyes were cold and fierce, their piercing blue bright and relentless. Her tiny frame seemed wound up, as if ready to pounce, lithe, practiced arms and faintly sculpted abs…

I swallowed, and glanced up to see her glaring at me, as if she knew exactly what I was thinking, on the verge of having sinful thoughts about my boyfriend's almost girlfriend.

"I'm going to be on display enough tomorrow, thank you very much," she snapped.

I held up my hands in surrender. "Sorry, sorry." I was sorry. Oggling her was also on my list of things I did not want to do. I coughed, and she sighed, tapping her foot impatiently. "So… since I'm the only guy you have a problem with, and I don't have any objections to that, if I were you, I'd have a problem with me too, it's totally understandable, but-"

"Sano," she said crossly, "it's freezing out here and I'm practically naked, get to the point or let's get started."

I nodded. "So, are you angry with Kenshin?" The look on her face could only be described as incredulous, and I hastened to explain myself. "You know, he didn't want to hurt you, things just-"

"Don't make excuses for him," she said quietly. "He wants you. He does not want me. I get it, okay? Clear as day."

"Wait… so you're not mad at him?"

She sighed. "To be angry with Kenshin would be ridiculous. He only did what comes naturally to him. I made the mistake of attributing qualities to him that he never possessed. Getting mad at Kenshin for being flakey is like getting mad at a dog for shedding on the sofa. That's what dogs do, they can't help it."

"Hey…" I said in a low tone, not liking her hidden jabs at my boyfriend.

"Don't even think about lecturing me," she said tiredly. "You win, okay? I'm entitled to my bitterness."

"Fair enough," I stroked my chin, noting absent-mindedly that I needed a shave. "But if you're not angry with Kenshin, then why are you angry with me?"

"I'm angry about what you did to Megumi," she said. "And you don't even have some angsty past you can blame your behavior on."

"Wait, what?" I demanded. "Just what do you mean by that?"

She laughed, but it was a cold, cynical laugh. "Oh please, Sano," she spat. "I'm a whiny bitch because of what happened to me. Kenshin's an unreliable nymphomaniac because of what happened to him, but you? What does being a jailbait heroine junky have to do with hanging a woman like Megumi out to dry? No no, you're just an asshole."

I blinked. Where was this coming from? Who knew that little missy had such laundry to air? I pushed her insults aside. "And what, exactly, happened to Kenshin?"

"Oh, you don't know? She smiled. "You wouldn't understand, anyway."

I stood up, my hands fisting at my sides. "And how can you be so sure of that?" I growled. "Everyone has skeletons in their closet."

She looked smug. "Care to share?"

"No," I said, "You wouldn't understand."

"Well, that all depends," she twirled a strand of her long raven hair around her fingertips, her lips blossoming into a small, rosy pout. She slinked over to me. "Were you the abused…" the way she said that word, a-buse-d, every syllable perfectly pronounced, melodically formed by those lips and that tongue, it was almost… I shuddered. This girl was fucked up. "Or…" she said huskily, "were you the abuser?"

I whipped around, as she had slunk by me, and was now gripping the railing and looking up at the stars. "What is your problem?" I said, perfectly aghast. "You're starting to freak me out."

"Do you know what freaks me out, Sano?" she said quietly.

"I can't imagine."

"Do you ever wonder what your life would be like if you weren't so good looking? I mean, really wonder? People would treat you differently, you'd have different career options, different friends, different… lovers…" she straightened her arms and tightened her grip on the railing, leaning back. "Think about all of those fairy tales… the handsome prince scorns and spits on the old hag in the street, and then when she magically turns into a beautiful maiden, his attentions towards her change entirely." She released the railing and approached me, slowly. "Now, imagine it the other way around. Imagine being beautiful, beautiful like you are right now, and then… coming apart… imagine your body becoming wrinkled or discolored or… scarred… ravaged…" She did it again, that thing with her lips… ravaged. "And imagine knowing," she whispered, "that everything… everyone you want just slips right through your fingers… like water… your mind is the same, your heart is the same, everyone else is the same, except you look… when people really look at you… they turn away." She stared off into the distance, her eyes dead, the infamous thousand-mile stare.

When she didn't say something for several moments, I cleared my throat. "That's very poetic and all," I shifted uncomfortably. "But where are you getting all of this?" I motioned to her. "You are beautiful, we've already been through this, beautiful fingertips, beautiful eyes, beautiful hair, beautiful body, beautiful girl… don't think so much about 'what if's'… you're beautiful right now, enjoy it, live it up, you have the rest of your life to be old and decrepit."

She still seemed distant. "I wish I had lived it up… or at least… at least run from him…"

What? Run from who?

"Hey guys!"

I turned my confused gaze to see Kenshin jogging up to us cheerfully. "How's the training going?"

I shook myself out of my stupor. "Ah… we haven't really started yet. Jou-chan's skittish. I'm trying to get her self-esteem up. I was just telling her how gorgeous she is, don't you agree, Kenshin?"

She smirked, and looked to Kenshin, as if challenging him. "Yeah, Red, don't you agree?"

KENSHIN

It was as if as soon as she turned to me someone pulled at the air like a wire; it vibrated with the tension these two produced. Sano looked meek as he sighed, hearing the clipped anger in Kaoru's voice, and Kaoru…she was a ball of emotions. It was so contradictory that I couldn't even read her expression. But I knew the sadness, it was always there. So that's what I concentrated on.

After my smile faded in disturbance of the live wire around them, I renewed it as best I could and gave the young lady a long look. She shifted uncomfortably, but since she had spoken the challenge, I felt no need to hinder my honest opinion. And she was definitely as Sano said. I hadn't realized how well formed her body was, I knew she was athletic, but unlike most females who start early in a fighting style she had maintained a feminine form in both her chest and hips. If I felt confident in being more playful around her I would have asked her to turn around, but I knew by the conflicting emotions in her that she was looking for support, not humor. "Black doesn't suit you as well as blues and and greens, but you to look gorgeous." She clenched her jaw; I could see it click near her ear when I met her eyes. "Like body like heart."

That comment caught her off guard and her blue eyes widened. I had no idea what she and Sano were talking about before I arrived, but it obviously had caused even more disquiet between them. I crossed my arms over my chest and suppressed a shiver, glancing over at the barely clad girl. "Aren't you cold though? Perhaps we should do this inside somewhere? I don't want you to get sick."

KAORU

I tried to keep the look of sheer distress out of my eyes. This was unbelievable. Standing here, on the deck of a cruise ship in the middle of a South Asian sea, in a little black bikini and at least 8 pounds of foundation, staring down a man with red hair and a cross-shaped scar who was perfectly fine with acting like we hadn't kissed the breath out of each other or he hadn't heard my entire drunken life story or he hadn't then slept with a third party who, conveniently, also happened to be leering at me.

Why does this stuff happen to me? Why did I ever sign up for this?

I swallowed, willing the goose bumps covering my bare arms to disappear, and switched my weight from one foot to another, meeting Kenshin's concerned (or mock-concern, who can say?) gaze with my own, cold, hard one. "No, I'm fine." I said shortly. "It's cold, but there's no way I'm going to get into this outfit again before the contest, so we have to get this done tonight."

"Great!" Sano clapped enthusiastically, probably thrilled with the opportunity to break the sullen mood. "Ok, I think the first thing we have to work on is your walk. Why don't you start down there by the pool fence, and walk towards us, we'll sit here on the bench." Sano ushered Kenshin to sit down next to him, and they watched me expectantly.

Truth be told, I wanted to tear their limbs off. I knew Sano was just trying to be nice, and I'm not going to even begin to pretend I knew what was going through Kenshin's head, but the entire situation just made my spine tingle. It's not as if I wanted Kenshin referencing my past in front of Sano, but really, what the hell? How could he go through this charade when he knew very well 'gorgeous was certainly not a term used to describe me by any stretch of the imagination? It's really hard to play a part when someone's watching who knows everything you're doing is a lie.

Sano laughed. "Don't just stand there looking pissy," he cried. "Come this way."

I blew my bangs out of my eyes. "What do you know about walking like a woman, anyway?"

"Nothing," he said calmly. "But I know how to walk with confidence. And I was a photographer, remember? I know what the judges will be looking for in you, and I know how you can score points with them." I said nothing, and he beckoned me with his hand. "Come on, this way."

I sighed and did as he said, walking quickly in a straight line towards them, stopping a few yards away. "Like that?"

Sano leaned back on the bench, resting his chin in his hand. "Well, your posture is good, but you had your chin down, and you walked too fast. Go back."

I obeyed silently, and then turned back to face them.

"Okay," Sano said. "The idea here is that you are, hands down, the most beautiful girl on the boat. In the world. You want to walk with your chin up and your shoulders back, and you want to take your time, because everyone wants to look at you."

I tried to put my chin up, but when I put my shoulders back I felt like I was sticking my boobs out, so I didn't do that so much. I nodded slightly, and repeated the walk, a little slower and with my new body position. I stopped in front of them again.

"Well, that was better," Sano nodded. "But it shouldn't be such a chore. Is walking around making guys drool really such a horrible thing?"

I tried to come up with an answer, but I had no idea what to say. I settled for an "I'm not used to it."

Sano shook his head in disbelief. "Jou-chan, you need to get out more."

KENSHIN

"Don't patronize her," I scolded lightly and looked back at Kaoru. She looked so uncomfortable in her own skin and I hated that. I was also disturbed that from here her skin looked flawless, which made me wonder how much make up she had on and how her skin could breathe like that. It couldn't be healthy. I used to cover my scars for social events, but rebelled against it quickly. The smell of the foundation sickened me and sometimes I would get a taste of the nasty liquid power if my fingers brushed my cheek before biting at my nails. I could only imagine the turmoil she went through both mentally and physically to hide so well.

I hated it. I hated that she had to hide, but at the same time I couldn't see another way.

"Kaoru, you're doing fine," I told her and nudged Sano in a playful manner when he scowled at me for my previous comment. "He just doesn't want to admit he knows a woman's walk from personal experience. Isn't that right, Sanoko?"

"Shove it, pretty boy," Sano laughed and batted me on the back of the head. I had meant for the comment to be playful and lighten her mood, but it hadn't worked. If anything she looked even more annoyed. Perhaps I would have to talk to her before the week's end. I was hoping her agreeing to Sano's and my help was her admitting me back into her life. Obviously, I was wrong, but I put on a smile and motioned to the little path she had been walking back and forth on.

"I'm sorry, please continue."

SANO

Maybe it was too soon for this, the three of us together. Kenshin was acting kind of funny, like he was trying to juggle us both or something. I didn't really know what to make of the situation; it was hard to act in my usual teasing manner if he was going to jump to her defense at the slightest remark. I shrugged it off, hoping he'd adjust and it would all pass.

"Okay Kaoru, try it again. This time I want you to look straight at me while you're walking. You have a really striking pair of eyes… most people don't have blue eyes and black hair together, it's a really great combination. You can use that to your advantage if you look the judges right in the face. They'll be caught off guard, and they like that."

She nodded, and did as I said. She looked right at me, unflinchingly, but there was still that rage behind her eyes that sort of ruined the look.

I smirked. "Anger is good, models do that a lot, it looks intense, but I don't think the judges want to feel in danger, either."

She raised an eyebrow at that, but didn't seem particularly upset. I thought for a moment. "Why don't you try looking at Kenshin, this time."

KAORU

I turned to walk back to my starting spot, cursing Sano. Looking Kenshin in the eye was the last thing I wanted to do. In fact, I could think of a number of painful things I would sooner do than look Kenshin in the eye… walk on hot coals, roll in itching powder, swallow drain fluid…

I took a deep breath and turned, fixing my eyes on Kenshin. Okay, don't look too angry, don't look too hurt, don't look too anything, just look. So I looked, but I turned my brain off, not willing to process anything I found there. I didn't care how Kenshin felt, nothing he could feel would make any difference. Whether he was triumphant or guilty, it didn't change anything. I walked slowly, with my shoulders back and my chin up, and my eyes probably filled with the calmed, resigned, isolated feeling that was beginning to drift over me. There wasn't any point feeling angry or rejected. I stopped at my usual spot, keeping my eyes on Kenshin for a few seconds before blinking slowly and looking back at Sano.

Sano grinned, running a hand through his hair. "That was great! Maybe we can sneak Kenshin in as a judge!"

KENSHIN

Yeah, great. She looked like a true model on a runway, a cold, unfeeling doll. I never did like runaway modeling. I supposed detachment was better than the blinding rage she shot at Sano, but it still worried me.

The air around us had loosened a little though. Their interaction seemed lighter than whatever I had intruded upon my arrival. This made it so I was too frightened to leave even if I wanted to. If my presence stopped them from fighting, so be it. I would just have to be tense, paint on an easy smile.

"I don't think Jonathan would go for that," I laughed. "Besides I think she'll do fine with or without me." I hadn't realized what I said until I felt the looseness of the air vanish with a snap of brief silence. I glanced up at Kaoru, my smile faded and she refused my eyes. Sano had to sense something, even from just our body language, but he looked bemused and shifted on the bench beside me.

Well that was a unintended double entendre.

"True. A knock out like Jo-chan's got it in the bag," Sano offered and I forced my smile to return at his words, nodding to Kaoru in agreement.

KAORU

"Okay, there's just one more suggestion I have," Sano said getting to his feet. "When you get to the end of the runway, you need to pose."

I flipped my hair over my shoulder in exaggeration, cocking my head and flashing him a come hither stare.

He grinned. "Well, I know you're kidding, but that's pretty much it. Except, you have these great abs, so if I were you I would lean a little bit more on my left leg and arch my back so-" he reached out a hand to angle my back, but the second his rough palm touched my stomach I jumped and stepped back, suddenly shivering and the blood pounding through my veins.

"Don't touch me!" I breathed. "…please," I tacked on the end, walking briskly to pick up my discarded sweatshirt and wind pants from earlier, tugging them on over my suit. "I think I can practice that on my own, thanks for your help." I nodded at them both, noticing Sano looking down, confused, at his hand. I didn't waste any time, I didn't want to answer any questions. I turned on my heel and entered the hull of this ship before another word was exchanged.

SANO

I lifted my palm to show Kenshin, covered in tan colored makeup or something. "Umm…" I furrowed my brow, wiping my hand on the front of my jeans. "You know Kenshin, I'm trying, but she really doesn't make any sense to me." I shook my head, flopping back down on the bench. "Do you have any idea what's going on with her?"

KENSHIN

"I do... somewhat," I sighed. I refused to divulge anymore than that, but I couldn't very well tighten another thread on our web of secrets. "I suppose I
should..." I paused again. Sano leaned over his knees, expectant.

I really shouldn't say anything, but that felt like a lie. Sano was confused; he was trying, very hard, but I knew it wouldn't work. Mostly because he wasn't
directly at fault, though she seemed to hold a lot of contempt toward him, which confused me a little. She never seemed one to displace emotions; she'd always
been direct with them, so what did Sano do to deserve that earlier death glare?

"That night that…" I chuckled at the irony of it all. "That everything happened...I was with Kaoru for a while. She confided a lot in me and then I fell into bed with you…"

'"Smooth move."

I shot him a glare. "You certainly weren't concerned about my hesitation that night."

Sano snorted at that, running his finger under his nose. "There you go trying to shift the blame to me. Granted, I'm at fault for pour decisions too, but I'm not sitting around wallowing in guilt." He rocked his head toward me in challenge, nudging his forehead to my shoulder. "I'm trying to make things right." He threw a hand into the air, motioning to the stair entrance that Kaoru had fled into. "But obviously my efforts are pointless."

I looked away from it all, lowered my eyes to stare at the plastic strips that covered the chair I sat in. My hands were in my lap, digging nails into palms. I needed to talk to her. "I betrayed her."

"I suppose in a manner you did," Sano muttered. The gaze I lifted to him must have been pretty pathetic, for he gave me a crooked smile and brushed a thumb over my cheek as if I were a child crying over a shined knee. "She has trust issues, that much is pretty apparent. It sounds like you broke her trust.
But I believe in your charisma, you'll get it back."

He lifted himself from his seat to settle on the lower half of the lounge chair that I wasn't using since I sat Indian-style. He felt so much calmer tonight,
nothing like his behavior in the conference room where he seemed to want to display rebellious claim on me, or at lunch when he sent Aoshi off in huff again. I
need to talk to him too...

"I'm sorry," I whispered. "Two days into a psuedo-relationship and already I'm concentrating too much on someone else."

"Hey, I have no claim on you," Sano said with a shrug, then leaned over my body with his brow raised. He had me somewhat trapped on the chair now; of course, I could easily throw the chair back and launch him off of me into the pool. That is, if I didn't want his affection. I brushed my lips to his when he leaned in close enough, the plastic and metal creaking beneath us. "But be aware that I do have a jealous streak."

"No, you?" I teased. He rewarded me by pushing me back to the plastic slats behind me and ravaging my mouth. I let him hold the reins for a few minutes of making out under the moonlight, but once his hands started gripping at my ass I pulled away. "Public, Sano were still in public."

"No one's awake."

I laughed as he breathed the words into my ear. "Stop, please. If we start something here we have nowhere to finish."

"What? Why?" He lifted his broad shoulders from pinning me to the straining pool chair, his dark brow furrowed in suspicion. I could tell he wouldn't be pleased with what I was about to say.

"We need to sleep in our respective rooms tonight." He gave me a sharper look of questioning; I touched my hand to his cheek, tilting my head. I hoped he would be understanding. "It would settle things a little."

"What with Mr. Stoic?" Sano growled.

I frowned at his venomous tone. "Sano, he's a friend of mine. He means a lot to me, so I'd like to set things right with him too." It really was sad that two of the people I was closest to on the ship weren't happy with me right now.

Sano sighed heavily and pulled away from my body, even offering a hand to help me out of the chair. "Fine Prince Red, I will humor you for now, but.." He wrenched my hand to his chest, causing me to collapse into his arms. His sharp features were cut even more drastically in the moonlight, and I found
myself snaking my arms around his neck comfortably.

"Tomorrow night, you're mine. All mine, understand?" As if his words weren't enough, his hands squeezing my ass would tell me exactly what he meant. I grinned up at him, enjoying his playful nature in this calm
setting.

"Deal."

---

SANO

"Okay, so then the girl said to me, and I'm absolutely serious, she said-" I stopped my story mid punch line, when I noticed someone across the bar all-out leering at my escort. I tried to shoot him a glare back, but he didn't take his eyes off of Kenshin for one second to see me. I rolled my shoulders once, dismissing the annoyance. Looking never hurt anyone.

"What did she say?" Kenshin shouted over the noise of the club, apparently he didn't notice the obvious attention he was getting, or he noticed and didn't care. He was leaning one elbow on the bar, twirling a coaster under his index finger, eyes on mine, attention on what I was saying.

I smiled, I didn't have to worry about him. He was a native in these parts. "She said…" my smiled faded I'm sure, when the guy across the bar got up from his stool and started to walk towards us. "She said…"

"Hey," the guy said to Kenshin's back. Oh please, I guess you could call him good-looking, but in one of those obnoxious poser ways. He was pretty muscular with cocky gray eyes, and reeked of some indecent combination of marijuana and whisky. Who did he think he was approaching someone as ridiculously attractive as Kenshin? Bah.

Kenshin didn't look up. Did he not hear the dude, or was he just ignoring him? "Haha, what did she say, Sano?"

"Uh…" yeah, I could ignore the original greeting, but this time the guy repeated it and ran a hand through Kenshin's ponytail, letting the smooth strands run through his fingertips. I clenched my teeth and sat up, ready to pounce, but Kenshin decided to finally turn and acknowledge the man's existence.

KENSHIN

Sometimes you just couldn't escape it. And sometimes the drunks just didn't learn. But there had been plenty of times that Sano and I had been pursuing just as this guy was and more than once I had personally done so when the target was obviously with someone else. Too bad this guy was too egotistical to notice that Sano had a much better body than he did. That and I wasn't really up for the chase tonight.

I wanted to check out the club, mostly because I was determined to attend one nightspot at every port. Not only did it give us possible shows for the boat, but it also expanded my music collection. And I was loving Singapore's sound.

Sano agreed when I asked him to come along, seemingly very happy in my company. The past week we had been in very close company with each other. Unfortunately I knew Aoshi would kill me if I tried to switch rooms with Yahiko, so we had to find time for nightly pursuits at times other than night, but it was an adventure none-the-less. I still needed to talk to Aoshi again…

"Can I help you?" I shouted adding a polite smile for effect. It wasn't my flirtatious one, I'm sure the guy could see that. There was no reason to flirt. I was completely content with Sano and I had no reason to make him jealous so early in our relationship. Of course I didn't know his feelings on such a thing. We still hadn't talked much ourselves.

"Hey, cutie care for a dance?" the young man asked in broken English, raising his bleached brow at me. Interesting, since English wasn't either of our languages. Though even if oriental, I doubted he knew Japanese.

"I'm in the middle of something right now," I answered, also in English. He looked at me funny so I assumed he didn't understand my more advanced sentence. I glanced over at Sano, he looked a little perturbed by the guy's presence, so I gave him an assuring smile, before I looked back at the blond boy. "No, thank you."

Blondie glared at Sano, obviously realizing he was the reason I said no, and spouted off something in what I guessed was Cantonese. I tried to follow, but skipped too many of my Chinese lit. classes to keep up. Not to mention we were taught Mandarin. I shook my head at the guy's outburst, not confident enough to try his language. "I'm sorry?"

He grabbed my arm then and was rewarded with a quick slap from Sano, who stood up from his seat. Sano towered over this guy, not as much as our height difference, but it was enough to have the blond puff his chest out and snap out something defensive. I caught something akin to "prick" in his language, funny how I could remember the derogatory words, and he pushed back on Sano's solid chest. My dark-haired lover bristled and I slid off the stool.

"Sano, please. Don't cause a scene," I asked him in our own tongue. He shot me a brief glare, not wanting to take his eyes off the ranting young man before us.

"He's causing the scene! You shouldn't have smiled at him!" he sneered at the bleached blond male. "Thought you were coming on to him."

"Well I'm sorry!" I snapped, then shook my head and took in a breath. I couldn't get upset, it would worsen the situation. Others were looking at us funny, either shocked by our non-reaction to his words or shocked by his words. I smoothed over my shirt and took Sano by his arm. "Please, lets just go."

"We just got here!"

"Sano," I pleaded with my eyes unmoved from him. The bleached blond guy reached out his hand to me, still seething.

"Dance with me. I'm good in bed."

I had to laugh and I turned my face to hide it in Sano's shoulder so I didn't insult the poor misunderstood guy. Sano didn't seem to see the humor in the come on line though.

SANO

My blood boiled, and I pushed Kenshin aside, more than a little annoyed with him. What the hell was he thinking? Is this how he handled all the trash that hit on him? If I wasn't here, what would he do? Play along? And with this fruit cake?

Good in bed? I sneered, drew my fist back and let it collide with his little smirking face. "Well good," I spat as I stood over his now sprawled form. "You're going to be there for a week, at least."

The jerk scrambled to his feet, one hand cupping his accosted cheek. Then he started blathering at me in some ugly language, probably a number of swears and derogatory remarks. I waved him off and rolled my eyes. "Sorry," I drawled. "I can't understand a word you're saying."

I did understand when he lunged at me, however, but it was a feeble attempt. The fact that he was inebriated on top of that he was probably a poor fighter to begin with made it easy for me to push him out of my way and into a nearby table, jarring the glasses on it and the people seated around it. They stood up in protest and I shrugged, pointing to the blond that had just collided with them.

That tactic didn't seem to work, though, because once the people turned their anger on him he started sputtering in their common tongue, and then they turned back to me, looking like bulls ready to charge. I don't know what he told them, but I couldn't exactly convince them otherwise. For all I knew, they thought I was a child molester, or a serial killer, or…

"Sano, let's go," Kenshin was tugging on my sleeve, and I wanted to ask him what the guy had said to them, but he started pulling me towards the door.

"Wait, wait," I said with a smile. Just when things got interesting, he wanted to jet? Did he not think I could handle them?

Kenshin is much stronger than he looks though, and he was now walking very forcefully to the exit. The crowd began to follow, shouting after us. I grinned, waving. "No hablo espanol!" I yelled back. "Adieu! Arrivederci! Auf Wiedersehen! Ja ne!"

Kenshin dragged me out the door, but released me when we were a safe distance from the club, standing on a sidewalk somewhere downtown. I smiled at him but he glared back.

"Awww, c'mon, Red!" I laughed, ruffling his hair. "I thought it was every boy's dream for cute guys to get in bar fights over them!" My good humor turned slowly to sarcasm. "I know, let's see how many countries we can do that in. How about you line jerks up for me to clock… all over the world!"

KENSHIN

I hated when my boyfriends did this. Trying to act all macho, throwing blind punches at guys who didn't even have enough wit to defend themselves. I was a guy too after all. I may not look like much, but I can hold my own. I clenched my fists at Sano's tongue-in-cheek rant. "That was completely uncalled for."

"Uncalled for? Red, that guy was sexually harassing you!" Sano snapped at me with an exasperated wave of his hands. My instinct had me cringe, my arms twitching upward before I realized what I was doing and stiffened them at my sides.

"My god, Sano. Give me one pick up line, one that couldn't be considered sexual harassment?" I huffed a piece of red hair out of my eyes and shook my head. "There was absolutely no reason for you to punch him."

"He asked for it." A witty reply from the overgrow child before me. I stared at him for a long moment, trying to control my own temper that wanted me to continue this argument. There was no reason, though. Just like Sano didn't have the right to hit Blondie in there, I didn't have any grounds to continue this argument.

I shook my head again, running my fingers through my hair. "Whatever, fine. You have a right to your own opinion." I tugged off my hair tie to smooth the frazzled red mess before turning from Sano and walking away while putting my hair up in a higher ponytail. I didn't feel like dancing anymore.

"What is up with you?" Sano growled from behind me. He started keeping pace with me, probably scowling at my back with his hands stuffed in his pockets. I glanced back at him to see how correct I was; I was dead on. Except his scowl was more perturbed than I expected. "You're being so moody. It isn't like you've never been in a fight in a bar before. You're the one who brags about your vast raver experiences."

"I don't hit people," I countered. "At least not unless they're really a threat. You know as well as I that poor idiot wasn't a threat. It was a joke to me, until you made it serious." I paused in my even paced stroll and glanced over my shoulder at Sano. I tried to soften my expression. "But it's over and done, so lets do something else. Something quiet."

He came up behind me to wrap his hands around the curve of my hips, leaning his tall form over mine to smile. "Well, I guess that leaves my alternate plan out of the question, 'cause that certainly isn't quiet."

I smiled at his coy affection and rested my head to his chest. "How about we save that for later, hm?"

"All right, then." He pointed at a little café not four meters from us on the other side of the street. "Coffee or tea, good sir?"

I grinned again and nudged my finger under his chin. "Perfect."

SANO

I held the door open for him into the café, which earned a forgiving smile and a slight shake of the head. We had a kind of strange dynamic in our relationship… I was older, and taller, and in some areas more experienced (well… I thought I was, Kenshin didn't talk much), and yet Kenshin still seemed the wiser and certainly the more mature of the two of us. I will admit, I do tend to go for older guys/girls, so I guess these tendencies in Kenshin made my attraction to him even more predictable.

We took a table by the window, the place was practically empty so it was nice and quiet. I'm surprised it was even open so late at night, but no complaints here. Nothing much was said between us as we looked over the drinks and ordered; Kenshin green tea and an espresso for me. Yes, I enjoy caffeine at all hours of the day.

Finally, I relaxed into my seat and squinted across the table at Kenshin, cupping my warm mug in my hands. "Okay, Red," I said slowly. "I'll start out this round with an easy one. For 100 dollars… where'd you get that scar?"

KENSHIN

I blinked at him, not aware that sitting alone in a café would lead to a question and answer session. I guess it only made sense, what else are we going to do? I leaned on the table, scratching at my cross scar on my cheek unconsciously. "Which one?"

He looked at me with confusion and I chuckled. "I got this one," I trailed my finger from near my nose to my jaw line, "from a childhood friend. We had the brilliant idea of fighting with real swords after kendo practice."

Sano laughed with me, shaking his head. I touched my fingertips to the second scar, trailing from my below my eye to my mouth. "This one I got in a fight with one of my boyfriends."

"A fight?" Sano questioned. I gave him a swallow shrug not really wanting to get into it. Like I needed another meddler nosing into my past. "That's a deep scar for a fight. Looks like you lost."

I scoffed at that, leaning my chin to my palm. "Yeah, I suppose I did."

"You're not telling me the whole story, are you?"

I gave him a pointed look, raising one of my eyebrows. I kept my voice light though, not wanted to set off his temper by being rude on top of abrupt. "No, I'm telling you what you need to know. I don't have to explain myself to you."

SANO

I raised an eyebrow at him and bit my tongue. He was just full of condescension tonight, eh? I took a long drink and swished it around in my mouth, trying to cool my nerves. There wasn't any reason to get in an argument, right? But I couldn't help but feel…

"No, of course you don't," I said coolly, "I just had this crazy idea that talking was one of those things people did when they were dating… or are we just good for the clubbing/rutting kind of thing? I didn't realize that when I signed up, sorry."

KENSHIN

I frowned at the hurt in his voice and shifted in my seat. "I didn't mean to upset you. It's just a touchy subject." I sighed and reached across the table to take his hand away from his mug. He let me and wrapped his longer fingers around mine. "I think it's just been an odd night. You can ask me anything, but there are just some things I don't want to talk about. I'm sure you feel the same way. Besides," I smiled, "weren't you the one all skittish when I asked to talk about our relationship in the first place?"

"It's different now," he countered without much else for his argument.

I gave him another smile, this one much more genuine as I could feel his bristled hair smoothing in the air. "It is and I'm glad for it. I don't mind talking. As a matter of fact I like talking to you, we don't do it enough."

He didn't seem completely soothed when he finally met my eyes, but he gave me a nod regardless. "I suppose some secrets are acceptable. Where would the fun lie if I knew everything about you?"

"Precisely, so can I ask you something rather impersonal, but part of your person?" Sano chuckled at my playful tone and nodded, so I went on. "I recall this huge list of odd jobs mentioned when we first all talked on the ship. I want to know how you made it from DJ to photography and leap from job to job. Did they just fall in your lap?"

SANO

I chuckled at that and stroked the back of his hand with my thumbs, amused also by the size difference of our hands. His were so tiny compared to mine. "Well," I said slowly, "being a DJ was pretty much my first job… I had a great CD collection and I guess I'm charismatic," I winked, "anyway, I started at parties, and I got a reputation, so then I worked at clubs for a while…" I smiled at the memory. I had it real good then, fun job that paid pretty well, made a lot of friends doing it, unfortunately it got me involved in a bad crowed but…

I cleared my throat, as if he heard my thoughts. "Well, being a DJ and a photographer aren't really connected. One day I was just walking through downtown Tokyo, and I looked into the Victoria's Secret window… I mean who doesn't do that, right? So there was a big event, they were shooting for a new catalogue, it was one of their main stores in Japan, so I went in to check it out. The place was flooded with the most gorgeous models you can imagine, no joke. So all the models are going to the back room between shots to change their… 'outfits'… and no one is allowed back there except the photographers who decide what they want the models wearing. Well, I had to get back there, and if you had seen these girls you would have done the same thing. I picked up a camera lying around and put it around my neck, and then took my club ID… I was on the way to work… I took the ID and just flipped it, so it looked like I just had my photographer ID on backwards accidentally and I just went back there. I figured if I got caught, well they'd just throw me out, and in the meantime I'd at least get to see something. So I get back there, and the girls were really friendly, and really undressed, and it was great. So I act like I'm a photographer and tell the girls what I want them to wear… and in a few minutes the coordinator comes in, looks at me funny… so I'm thinking that he knows and is going to throw me out, but he mistook me for some photographer he just hired and scolded me for being late, then told me to get out there and do the shoot."

I shook my head and took another drink. "Well, I didn't know anything about photography except how to point and shoot, but I just played along. The girls were really responding to me though, when I told them where to stand and stuff, and the coordinator was impressed… what can I say, I have a way with the ladies… and the pictures didn't come out half bad, they looked pretty amateurish to me, but the coordinator thought they looked edgy and unusual. So after that, they invited me to come back and…" I laughed. "Let's just say it was a dream job. I did it for a while, met a lot of great girls, but then I wound up in prison for this that and the other thing, and now I'm here!" I sat back in my seat with a sigh. "It's almost the same thing though… cameras everywhere, and everyone is gorgeous. Can you seriously believe this cast? We could be a catalogue, ourselves."

KENSHIN

I found myself just busting out laughing once he was done with his story. I shook my head in disbelief and took a drink of my tea with my free hand. "What?" he asked confused by my reaction.

"Nothing, just. You're antics put mine to shame. Of course…," I paused at my own memories and grinned into my cup.

"Of course what?"

"It may not have been illegal photography, but judging the strip show at Karuna's was fun. And when I say strip show I mean the full monty." I smiled at Sano's amused chuckle.

"Did they make you get on stage?" Sano joked and nudged his foot to my leg from under the table. "Cause that's something I'd like to see."

"They tried and failed. I refuse public showings," I told him chuckling at the crest-fallen expression on my lover's face. I lifted our intertwined hands and nudged him under the chin, offering him a wink. "I never said anything about private." He shared my coy grin and pressed a light kiss to the back of my hand. He seemed to be too relaxed to take up offer and I wasn't complaining, enjoying spending time with him sitting up. I paused at that, remembering the night before, and rephrased the sentence in my head to spending time with him outside of the room. "But you're right, MTV really picked up some model material for this season. I, for one, am not complaining."

He smiled because I didn't take my eyes off of him when I said it. I tilted my head and took another drink from my cup. I wasn't sure where he wanted to go with this conversation, I certainly wasn't ready to talk about our almost relationships with Megumi and Kaoru, especially since I still felt wretchedly guilty and she wouldn't speak more than a sentence to me, keeping it completely impersonal. So I waited, wondering where he wanted to take the conversation and hoping I could weasel my way out without insulting him again.

SANO

Kenshin was quiet for a moment, and I swirled my now cooling coffee in my mug a few times. "You know," I said thoughtfully. "Kaoru said something funny to me the other day when I was helping her prepare for the contest. It was sort of random, actually. But, she asked me how my life might be different if I weren't good looking." I chuckled, looking back up at Kenshin. "I blew off the question at the time, but now that I think of it, my life probably would have been really different. I never would have gotten in with those models, I probably wouldn't have even gotten my DJ job, and I definitely wouldn't be here." It was a strange concept really, and not something I had ever considered. "What do you think?" I cocked my head curiously. "How different do you think your life would be? I mean, I'm sure your life would be completely different if you had a different color hair, or if you didn't have that scar… it's kind of unsettling to think about, isn't it?"

KENSHIN

I let my lips lift into a sort of crooked grin and chuckled. "I don't think I've seen you so introspective." Sano frowned at my comment, looking a bit insulted. I hadn't meant for it to be insulting so I gave him a brighter smile and added. "I like it. I'm getting to see other sides of you. And I guess that kind of connects to what you were saying."

"How?" Sano countered, apparently still a little ruffled by my first words.

"Well, you ask where we would be without a pretty face. I say then people would notice we are more than a pretty face." He gave me a short laugh that was more of a contemplative hum and tilted his head as I continued. "I know I couldn't have had as many partners as I did, but who's to say I couldn't have manipulated my way behind the bar? I think you still could have been a DJ, if you still had your charisma. And maybe you would have not had it because your face wasn't there to back up your confidence, but if beauty's the only thing we're hypothetically losing without consequence of it affecting other aspects, than I think we would have walked a similar path. Then again," I looked down at my hands, turning the cup back and forth between my fingers. "Loosing beauty would probably cause a domino effect into charisma and confidence no matter how hard we tried. And then we wouldn't be where we are."

Sano was frowning again, when I looked up, but it wasn't the offended scowl of before. I sighed and gave him a meek smile. "But that's precisely why I prefer to live in the present and learn from the past. There's nothing to be done with what can't be changed."

SANO

"But don't you think…" I said slowly, I was walking on eggshells here, and I knew it. "…that if you don't analyze and learn from your past then you'll never become stronger for it? If we live in denial about something, then what's to stop us from making the same mistake?" Kenshin looked annoyed. "I'm not picking on you, Red," I laughed. "But maybe that's a side-effect of your not wanting to deal with your past. You consequently feel that any references to the past in general are personal attacks." I shook my head. "I was actually making references to my own past…" I swallowed heavily. I didn't particularly want to talk about this, but maybe if I opened up more, he'd be more willing to share about his own experiences. "I had a sister once, you know."

I glanced up at Kenshin, but he didn't seem like he was going to say anything, just intent on listening. I cleared my throat. "Well she was a few younger than I was, my mom died giving birth to her, so, my dad and I looked out for her like a couple of wolves. We were probably a little too overprotective…" I smiled at the memory of the three of us, living upstairs from my dad's garage. "But I think anyone would have been. She was such a cutie, she'd look a lot like Kaoru now, which to be honest is a little strange for me," I chuckled, "But anyway, her name was Keyra. We were practically best friends. So one day a fair came to town, and it was really crowded and there were people dressed up everywhere and long lines and fried food… all of that crap. So at the end of the fair we were sitting, Keyra and I, down by the banks of the river where they were going to shoot fireworks off and float lanterns, and I saw this really pretty girl a little ways down. Well we lived in a small town and pretty girls were few and far between, so I asked Keyra to wait there while I went and talked to her." I took a slow sip from my mug, slouching down a little in my chair. I didn't tell this story very often. I couldn't even remember the last time I told it. "So I went, and I don't remember what happened with the girl, she probably had some guy with her or something… but the point is that when I got back, Keyra was gone." I sighed, studying my hands for a silent moment, the scene replaying through my head so vividly, the smell of the cotton candy and the popcorn, the sinking feeling in my stomach… "Well at first all I could think about was how mad my dad was going to be at me when we got home late, but she was really gone. Just gone. I couldn't find her anywhere. I looked all around, I asked everyone, security, the fair people. Eventually my dad came to help me look and it was no use. We called the cops, they put out a search, it was in the newspapers and on TV, they scoured the river, everything… she was just gone. That was…" I counted in my head, not believing what I was about to say. "7 years ago. She'd be about 18 now. But we never found out what happened." I sighed, stretching my long arms back behind my head. "Maybe she was kidnapped, maybe she wandered off and got lost, she could be in Romania now for all I know, or she could be dead." I glanced out the window at the quickly vacating street. "I mean it's so weird, to look at every girl that goes by and wonder… you know? She could be any one of them. But then, I know she's probably not. It's ridiculous to think she'll ever turn up." I looked back at Kenshin seriously. "But that doesn't mean I'm going to pretend I never had a sister, or pretend that the way I perceive people isn't different. Like… never take people you love for granted, keep them close, don't take your eyes off of them, because they can just disappear," I snapped my fingers, and the abrupt noise startled even me. "Just disappear like that."

KENSHIN

I stared for a long time, at first meeting Sano's deep brown eyes that held dark memories he couldn't escape from, then at his hand wrapped around his coffee cup. I didn't know what to say; there wasn't really anything to say. 'I'm sorry' would be pointless, because as much as I had sympathy for him, I could never understand. Besides he didn't need my condolences.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to be so dark. I guess I got caught up in the moment," Sano muttered as he ran his other hand through his dark hair.

"I don't abandon the past completely," I answered, ignoring his apology. I would get to that in a moment. "I just…I learn from it enough to avoid mistakes and then bury it. It isn't gone, just locked away. I always will know what happened, but there are certain things…I'm just better off without. People perceive things differently, that's why I hate being around people who were witness to my screw ups, because then they tell a different story." I lifted my eyes to his again. "Take what you just told me for example: what if one of your neighbors was there and they saw you leave your sister alone. And when they found out she disappeared they blamed you. Now maybe you do that in your head too, but what about the other people around. Aren't they just as guilty for witnessing her disappearance and not doing anything? So I have my view and they have theirs and you yours…but none of them are right and none of them wrong, which means I can't force my view on you as the one that's true, especially because I wasn't sitting by the river with you that night."

I paused and sighed, weary just thinking about the arguments I have had about this sort of thing. "That's why hate talking about my past. Because people try and tell me what they think is right when they weren't even there."

"I didn't know you hated talking about the past so much, I'm sorry I told you-"

"Don't." My interjection was soft, but Sano complied and waited for me to finish. "I'm a good listener and I'll give love and sympathy where I can. I liked listening to your story, even if it was a painful experience for you, and I will share parts of me with you too. I just don't think you need to know everything, so I don't expect you to tell me everything. If there's something you want to tell me, don't hesitate. And if there's something you want to know, you can ask and I promise I'll answer honestly if you promise…" I looked down at my own hands and shook my head. "Never mind I can't ask you that."

"Ask me what," Sano said seriously, leaning forward, his elbows on the table. "Of course you can ask me."

I frowned, but I should have known that he would say that. It was only natural, like I told him I had a secret, but I stopped before I told him the secret. This wasn't really something I wanted to say though. "Do I have to finish the sentence?" I asked him with a hopeful look in my eyes. "I stopped because it was stupid."

He raised his brow and shook his head once. I sighed again. "I was going to ask you to not think of me differently if I told you something, but that's impossible. Even if one tries to stay the same after they hear a part of another person's life, they subconsciously can't. A person's life makes them who they are, so it's only natural to see new things in a person when hearing about their past. So it was a stupid request."

SANO

I nodded slightly, amused by his convoluted response. "Well, like you said, I can't promise I won't think of you differently, but I can promise I won't think any less of you." My expression softened, I'm sure, and I reached out to brush some bangs out of his eyes. "Maybe the problem isn't that people misinterpret your past, maybe it's just that they want to help you and you misinterpret their concern." I raised an eyebrow. "I dare you to tell me something you think will make me think less of you."

KENSHIN

I met his eyes with a level expression, trying to keep my temper in check. Aoshi's words echoed in Sano's and I knew at that moment that I wouldn't tell him about Fukumi, because he would just 'want to help me' interpret my past correctly. I cleared my throat and tried to smooth my features so he didn't pick up on my bristling hairs, he didn't know any better. He was just like any human, trying to help by giving advice blindly.

I let my brow furrow as if I was trying to think of something to tell him, but I already decided not to, so I was basically just putting on a show. After a few moments I raised my head again and smiled with false amusement. "I can't really give you anything. I think you've done most of the questionable things I have." I gave him a laugh. "So I guess that talk was pretty obsolete."

---

KAORU

On the morning of the competition, I heard curses coming from Megumi's room. It was a few hours before we had to show up at the site, and I was finally getting around to getting ready. I had been putting it off, and putting it off, still hoping to find some crazy way out of this disagreeable situation, but finally I conceded the only thing left to do was slather myself in makeup and run around practically naked. Take one for the team and all that.

"Megumi?" I knocked quietly. "Is everything alright in there?"

The swearing within stopped and the door swung open, revealing a very flustered Megumi. She was already dressed in her bathing suit with a pretty, gauzy green cover-up tied around her waist. She really didn't have anything to worry about, she could win the competition wearing a burlap sack, so why was she so ruffled?
"Kaoru-chan," she breathed, stepping aside. "I'm so sorry, I ran out of foundation, and I knew you had a lot, so I borrowed it from you because I thought you wouldn't mind. I was kind of careless though and when I was brushing my hair I knocked it off my dresser and it spilled… I'm cleaning it up now. I think there's a little bit of foundation left, definitely enough to do your makeup for the contest, and I'll buy you a new bottle when we get to the next port, okay?"

I blinked at her, the words registering painfully slowly. Then my eyes flitted over her shoulders to see paper towels scattered across the floor near her dresser, soaking up the spilled flesh-colored makeup before it stained the carpet. "Oh…" I managed to croak, utterly flabbergasted.

"Uh… you're not mad, right?" Megumi asked tentatively, probably confused by my reaction."

"No, no of course not," I muttered absently, approaching the spill. Megumi had taken the huge bulk bottle of foundation from my dresser. I use so much of it that I buy the tone that best matches my skin basically wholesale, in giant bottles. Then I get smaller bottles of other shades to mix and blend and all that. It was really a science these days. Hesitantly, I lifted the bottle and inspected its contents.

Sure, there was enough left to do my makeup… if I only had to do my face like most women. I felt my breath catch as I saw the skimpy remains. It must have spilled really fast, or maybe she was too shocked to right it before too much spilled out. Whatever happened, there definitely wasn't enough left for my purposes… and it was the last bottle I had. I intended to restock at the next port.

My mind was working rapidly, trying to come up with an alternate solution. I couldn't just use my blending foundation. There wasn't enough of it, and it wouldn't look right, the colors didn't match if I didn't mix it with the stuff from the big bottle. I could ask Misao, but I knew she didn't have the kind of quantity I would need. The drugstore on the ship didn't carry foundation, I'd already checked for emergencies. Maybe I could walk up and down the hallways asking strangers to donate, but the chances of enough people having some and being nice enough to give it to me was so slim, and it would take longer than the time left before the contest. Even if I did manage to round enough up, then I would still need more than an hour to put it on, which… just wasn't possible.

"Kaoru-chan…?" Megumi asked quietly, still standing in the doorway. I probably looked pretty strange, stock-still and staring at a near-empty bottle. "I'm sorry. Hey, why don't I help you with your makeup? We can make it work, and I've got a shade of lipstick that would look really nice on you."

"Er… thanks Megumi," I said, offering her a weak smile. "Really, it's no problem. I'm just going to go to my room and… get ready."

She frowned. "Are you sure you don't want help? I don't mind at all."

"Yeah…" I nodded, moving to leave. "I'm all set. Don't worry about it, it's fine." Without waiting for an answer, I hurried back to my room. There, I went through all of my things… my dresser, closet, trunks, the boxes under my bed, everything in hopes of finding some hidden stash I had forgotten about. The more places I looked and came up with nothing, the faster my heart beat. Eventually I flopped down on my bed, taking deep breaths. There was a way out of this, there had to be. If I just thought hard enough, it would come to me.

Okay, let's see. The contest is in just a little less than three hours, but I have to be on site in two for rehearsal. I don't have any makeup. I cannot buy makeup. I cannot find makeup. My options:

1) Perform without the make up. Ha. Ha. Hell no. No way. Even if I were crazy enough to do that, it wouldn't do us any good. We all have to place in the top ten to win the challenge, and there's no way I would place without makeup. Not even an option.

2) Don't perform. This was seeming like the best idea. But, how would I explain it to the others without telling them the truth? If I don't perform, we automatically lost the challenge, so I'll need to give them a damn good reason. They had all seen me at breakfast, and they knew I was fine, so faking sick wouldn't work.

There had to be another option, there had to be. Numbly, I got into my bathing suit, slipping on a light blue long-sleeved shirt and some jeans over it. Well, I'd go to the site and keep my eyes peeled for something I could do. Something would come to me. Something had to come to me.

---

Nothing came. I had managed to convince everyone to let me rehearse in jeans and my shirt, and now it was 15 minutes before I went on, I was standing back stage, my face done-up, my hair combed out, and my stomach flopping around inside me.

No ideas. Nothing. I felt like a zombie, a living dead person. The girls were lining up to go on stage for the first walk, and I was still in my jeans and long-sleeved shirt. Desperately, I cast around. No giant bottles of foundation, no hero to save me, no fairy-godmother to give me an easy way out. Panic. Panic panic panic.

Sano approached us, Megumi, Misao and I were standing together. He grinned at us warmly. "Are you guys ready? You're going to be great!"

Misao and Megumi thanked him, smiled resolutely and took their place in line, leaving me dumbstruck behind them.

"Kaoru…?" he asked gently. "Ready to take those off and get in line?"

"No." I said quickly, turning to face him completely, my whole body starting to shake. "Sano, I can't do this."

He ruffled my hair, not looking worried at all. "Of course you can! Don't be shy. Just like we practiced. You're gorgeous, Jou-chan, you don't have anything to be stressed about it. Just go out there and walk around, and you'll win for sure. Hands down."

He was being genuinely nice to me, which made it that much more difficult to disappoint him. "No, really Sano, I can't go out there. I just can't."

He sighed, placing his hands on my shoulders and leaning forward to look me in the eye. "For the life of me, I don't know why you have such low self-esteem. Just trust me this one time, okay? I know you don't really have any reason to trust me, but if I didn't think you could win, I wouldn't send you out there. I don't like losing, you know?"

I could feel myself getting faint, wavering on my feet. That's a great idea! Maybe if I faint, it will be a plausible excuse to get out, and my team won't be penalized since it couldn't be helped! However, just as I got excited about the possibility, I didn't feel faint any more, just terrified that my new excuse was gone.

Running a thumb over my cheek, Sano winked. I was too scared to think twice about how awkward his touch was on me. "Don't be scared!" he laughed. "You've got this one in the bag. Now, let's get you in line." He took me by my upper arm and lead me over behind the last girl in line. Suddenly, I heard the announcer call the first girl, and the line started to move.

"Okay!" Sano declared. "Time to take these off!" He reached for the hem of my shirt to help me out of it, but I bawked back, my arms shooting up in front of me in defense. Blindly, I cast about for…

…for Kenshin, I realized in the back of my mind. Why did I think he could save me?

I bit my lip at the absurd idea. He didn't give a damn about me, and even if he did, what could he do anyway? This was beyond human control. This just sucked.

"No," I said, my voice wavering. "No, I can't. I can't."

Sano started to look a little less friendly. "Just bite the bullet!" he said, his smile a little less cheerful. "Don't think about it, just do it. It will be over before you have a chance to get shy out there." Again he reached for my shirt, as we got closer and closer to the stage. "Now c'mon, it's almost your turn."

I pushed him away a little more forcefully. "I can't," I ground out. "I won't do it. I'm sorry."

Now he looked completely serious. "Kaoru, now is not the time for this. This is for the team. You were fine last night, and you'll be fine now. Just do it. I'm serious."
"I know I know, but Sano, please," I looked into his eyes desperately, but I didn't seem to be gaining any purchase with him. "I just can't."

"You can," he said, his hands starting to tug on the bottom of my shirt.

Shoving him for real, I backed away several steps. "I can't. I won't. That's final. Leave me alone." I turned on my heel, running full tilt as far from the scene as I could. I could hear his footsteps behind me, and in only a few moments he caught my arm, pulling me to face him despite my struggles.

"Kaoru!" he looked completely incredulous. "Don't be ridiculous! Why are you being this way?"

"It's none of your business. I don't have to do anything I don't want to."

"It is my business," he insisted. "If you go out there, we get money. If you don't go out there, we do the dishes for weeks. That includes me. What is going on here?"

"I'll do your share of the dishes, I don't care," I snapped. "You can't make me. I won't go out there."

Sano groaned, rubbing his forhead with one hand, his other gripping my arm a little harder. "Could we be any more juvenile about this?"

"Don't judge me," I growled. "You don't know a thing about me."

"Then enlighten me," Sano cried, "please!"

I said nothing, just tried harder to get out of his grip. His hand closed tighter.

"All I can see here, is you freaking out over nothing!" Sano exclaimed, his temper clearly starting to rise. "So until you prove otherwise, you're not going anywhere!"

"Let me go!" I ground out.

"No."

His grip started to hurt. "Let go of me!"

"No. Tell me why you're doing this."

I swung my hand towards him in a wild effort to get away, but he caught my other hand, tugging me towards his chest so I was completely immobile. "It's not a crazy request," he said quietly, sternly. "Either go out there, or tell me why you won't."

I felt my throat close up and a lump form, his grip and my helplessness and the increased feeling of being cornered and trapped made me feel sick and more panicked than ever. His brown eyes bore into me until all I could strain out was "please stop."

Sano scoffed and let go, crossing his arms over his chest and staring at me coldly. "I can't believe you," he snapped, then turned stiffly and strode back to where the stage was.

SANO

Running a hand quickly through my hair, I tried to keep my stride calm and casual as I approached my boyfriend, who was watching the other girls on stage and cheering for them. Really, there was no reason to let my temper get the best of me. I should just stay calm. Just accept this. Kaoru will be Kaoru, whatever that means.

Riiiiiiight.

"She won't go!" I snapped, crossing my arms over my chest as I stood next to Kenshin.

"Hm?" Kenshin looked up at me curiously.

"Kaoru," I answered. "She won't go on."

"But she was in line…"

"Yeah well, she's not anymore. I don't know why she won't. She looked great last night. I told her she was going to be fine, I did the pep talk thing, I asked nicely, but no. She just won't. She won't tell me why, she just won't do it." I could feel my anger boiling up, unable to comprehend her motives at all. "What is she thinking? Is she honestly going to sit out and make the rest of us do dishes? Doesn't that strike her as just a little selfish? She won't even explain! What am I supposed to do?"

AOSHI

And there he went again, trying to lecture about childish and selfish behavior when he was practically stamping his foot to the deck and whining about having to do chores. "They're just dishes."

It was muttered, but apparently Sagara's ears were keener when ruffled and he seethed at me where I stood to the other side of Kenshin. "Don't start with me, I don't need your superiority complex raising the bar on my temper right now."

"There's a bar? Is it above or below sea level?" I asked, tilting my head so I could glare at Sagara over my sunglasses. I was in a foul mood to begin with. Objectifying the girls like this for the sake of not getting some soapsuds on our hands was disgusting. I didn't blame Kaoru-san for walking out. In fact, I applauded her.

"Aoshi," Kenshin hissed, hitting his fist to my arm lightly. Sagara hefted out a disgruntled breath like a bull hoofing at the ground. "You're not helping. Again. Stop instigating an argument."

I didn't say a word in rebuttal and just looked back as Miller-san trotted her way back down the runway with a wave and wink in our general direction. Somehow I expected her body to be...less...mature than it appeared to be.

"Look," Sagara growled throwing a hand in the direction of the runway. "They did it and survived. Hell, they both looked stellar. She would have too, if she would stop being so-

"Sano, I'm sure she has her reasons," Kenshin said, cutting him off. The tone caught even my attention and Sagara looked like he was about to punch a wall in. I eyed Kenshin for a moment, surprised by his clipped remark and concerned for Sagara's lack of restraint. What was going on here?

KENSHIN

I knew as soon as the words escaped my mouth that they were spoken inappropriately. This wasn't lost on Sano. His brow tightened even more and his arm dropped to his side.

"Why do you always take her side?" Sano grumbled and looked away to glare at the sun.

I sighed. "I'm not, I just..." I just stopped myself before I started making up excuses. "I know she has a good reason. She doesn't want to let anyone down. Someone should go talk to her."

Sano snorted in annoyance. "Why don't you? You seem concerned about the princess."

I watched him for a moment, the way he lifted his chin as he stared at the empty runway. The host was announcing the end of the show and they the judging will be revealed in a short while. I was curious of the outcome; if Megumi and Misao would make it to the top ten. They certainly looked dazzling enough. But the focus was on cooling off my lover and being uselessly concerned about the one I let down. "I can't. I told you before she doesn't trust me."

"Well, here's the perfect opportunity, Red." Sano knocked his fist before him in a 'go-get-'em' manner. "Get some of that trust back."

"What's wrong? Why are you acting like this?" I whispered. His voice sounded so strained.

"He's jealous," Aoshi muttered. "Like a child, the attention always has to be on him."

SANO

"Hey," I said, irritated, poking an accusing finger at Aoshi's chest. "What do I have to be jealous of? Kenshin made his choice. And it's awfully funny the way you refer to me like some kind of beast, really, it's so clever. Go ahead and chalk this up to brutishness if that amuses you, but that's fucking ridiculous. I've been going out of my way to help her, I took the time and I've really been trying to work with her, and she just blows us off. And it's not just dishes. Now we have to do the chores, yeah, but we also didn't win, which means we missed out on a lot of cash, which I don't happen to have growing on trees in my neck of the woods. The bottom line is, I helped her, she could have done this, she didn't. How do you expect me to react? Or do you think it's all instinct with me, right, animals don't exercise logic or judgment. Of course not. I forgot."

AOSHI

I stared at him and he glowered back, neither of us moved. Kenshin was tense only a step away from us and ready to defend whoever was hit first. I didn't think either of us would throw a punch though. He had a short fuse but he had to be threatened to resort to violence. Or at least this was what I assumed and staked the healthy condition of my face on.

Regardless, I couldn't argue even if I wanted to. He was right. I'd seen him attempting a friendship with Kaoru-san. I'd heard Kenshin talk about it as well. Unfortunately, he was trying and somehow failing miserably.

"You make a sound argument," I told him with a respectful nod. He straightened when I started to move past him, stumbling as I was sure he was used to a rougher crowd.

"That's it?" Sano cried out, almost sounding disappointed. "You're going to just walk away?"

"Why not? You made your point and I have nothing to say in return." I replied from over my shoulder. Kenshin and Yahiko watched in befuddlement as well, both not knowing what to do. Not that they needed to do anything. "Kenshin mentioned that someone should talk to Kaoru-san, so I'll go. Perhaps I can find Takani-san and ask for her assistance."

"Thank you, Aoshi," Kenshin said softly. I turned from them, but paused before I walked completely out of earshot.

"And Sagara-san," I started.

His answer was as stern as I expected. "What?"

"I don't mean to imply that you're nothing but an animal. I just observe that you act on instincts, sometimes such isn't a good idea," I eyed him over the rim of my sunglasses. "You're a human though, just like all of us. Prone to mistakes."

"What the hell is that supposed to mean?" Sano shouted as I walked away. I heard Kenshin hush him, a soft laugh came from him as well.

"That wasn't an insult, Sano," Kenshin assured his lover. I heard the last bit off Kenshin's words before the noisy crowed swallowed their voices. "It was an apology."

MEGUMI

I shrugged off my first-place ribbon with slight disdain. First place at what… prancing around for the entertainment of horny cruise-goers? What a great way to put my medical training to use. Waving to Misao, who was now showing off her fourth-place one to Kenshin and Sano, I tried to find Kaoru in the crowd. She hadn't placed… actually, I hadn't even seen her up there at all. Is it possible she was there and I missed her? I didn't think so… she was a pretty girl, and the competition wasn't too steep, I was pretty sure if she had competed she would have at least made top-ten.

Then out of the corner of my eye I saw Aoshi walking rather briskly across the deck, clearly he had a purpose. "Shinomori-San," I called out gently, causing him to pause and look back. "Have you seen Kaoru? I didn't see her on stage."

"She wasn't on stage," he said blandly.

"Why not? Did something happen?"

Aoshi gave a hintless shrug. "That's what I am investigating at the moment… care to join me?"

Nodding, I retied my cover-up as we walked. Kaoru did seem a little shaken this morning… maybe she was just too nervous? She could be a pretty shy girl.

Finally we spotted her, sitting on a long bench and leaning back on wall behind her, her eyes closed, her hands folded calmly in her lap. She was in the shade, so we might have missed her completely if we hadn't specifically been looking.

I approached cautiously, and she opened her eyes only when we got within a good four feet of her. "Kaoru-chan…?" I asked quietly. "Is something wrong?"

KAORU

Maybe I should have felt scared of them… scared they would be angry or disappointed in me, I don't know. I wasn't scared though… I was just tired and strangely calm. At least it wasn't Sano who had come back wielding that crazy temper of his.

But that was unfair, Sano didn't have a crazy temper. I didn't blame him at all for being angry with me. However, that didn't mean I had any desire to be lectured… justifiably or not.

"Not really," I answered. It felt weird to be sitting while they stood over me, so with a sigh I got to my feet, straightening my shirt. "You guys are probably pretty mad at me, huh?"

"No," Megumi said evenly. "We're just concerned about you. What happened? Why didn't you go on?"

I walked towards the railing, looking out at the sun reflecting on the sea. I didn't really feel like lying at that moment, I didn't feel like hiding. We were only a few weeks into the trip and already there had been so many times I'd had to come up with quick excuses. How was I supposed to last six months?

My back to them, I shrugged a little and pulled my long-sleeved shirt up over my head, leaving me with jeans and just my tiny bikini top and my shell necklace. I heard Megumi gasp slightly and froze. It wasn't a disgusted sort of gasp, just a… surprised one, I guess.

I swallowed heavily. Maybe I should have been facing them at first… my back was almost worse than my front, with that big diagonal slice down the middle.

"Um…" I said hesitantly, turning slowly but not moving my eyes from the deck. "I… usually I cover them up with makeup, but…" I gestured uselessly, flipping my foot in and out of my sandal out of nerves. "Well, I didn't have enough left… didn't plan right… I tried to think of another way, but there wasn't enough time…"

Neither of them said anything, and the air was so heavy I felt like I was going to be crushed completely. The silence was completely unbearable. "So… as you can see… if I had gone out there, I definitely wouldn't have won anything, so it wouldn't have done the team much good. Sorry."

"Oh Kaoru-chan," Megumi said after another long, painful silence. She started to come towards me but paused, I saw her shadow hesitate on the deck. "What happened to you?"

"Oh, kendo, cheerleading…" I automatically dove into my usual excuses, but I could just feel that they didn't believe me at all. Why should they? No way I looked like this because of kendo. "Um… actually that's not true…" I laughed nervously. "I… um… I guess I had kind of ah… um…" how do you sum it up? "Well, in high school, my boyfriend…" my stomach churned and I felt goosebumps popping up all over me. "He… ah… he drank a lot, and… um, he… had a pretty bad temper… so to speak."

More terrible, terrible silence. I'd rather they shouted at me, I'd rather they threw me over the side than just stood there. I wanted to know their reactions but I was afraid to look up. "So… you guys probably really think less of me now… um… and that's why Kenshin and I… well… yeah. Maybe I should have told everyone… maybe… um, maybe it would have saved some trouble, but… well I guess I don't really like talking about it. Sorry."

AOSHI

Immutable scars, skeletons in the closet, protecting the memory of a man who betrayed. Superficial scars marring an almost perfect soul. I closed my eyes at two veins running so close together. Their connections were undeniable; Kenshin and Kaoru...

She didn't seem to be overly upset. Resigned almost, tired. A little nervous by our staring. Although I don't know that my actions did any good to calm her nerves.

She stiffened when my arms wrapped around her, whether from surprised or discontent I wasn't going to let go until she asked me to. She didn't say a word, but didn't relax against me. Her skin was warm to my arms, making me wonder how much heat she had to endure hiding these secrets from it under layers of cotton and denim.

And I didn't say anything to her. I couldn't really think of anything to say. It was a problem I had with Kenshin as well. When I opened my mouth I said something that sounded too simpering or condescending. They weren't children, just a struggling man and a suffering woman. So I held her, with Megumi silent behind me and Kaoru breathing slowly with her chin pressed to my shoulder.

KAORU

I took in a deep, rattling breath, all my muscles tense and frozen. Was this some kind of joke? Being embraced was the last thing I expected to happen. I felt his hands on my back, their warmth spreading over skin and scar like it didn't matter to him at all. My eyes were wide and trained straight ahead as Megumi circled around and hugged me from behind so I was between them. We stayed like that for several moments, short, sordid little me tucked in the middle of a beauty queen and dream boat sandwich.

I closed my eyes, slowly, slowly starting to relax as Megumi rested her cheek against my hair. The only sound was our breathing and our heartbeats and the waves. After a little while I started to feel a little claustrophobic and a little sick. It was such a strange sensation to be so obvious and vulnerable and to have people so close to me.

I cleared my throat a little and they backed off. Shooting them an awkward, sheepish smile, I tugged my shirt back on over my head and stuffed my hands back into my pockets. I shuffled my feet for a few seconds, then coughed.

"Um… well… I've got a lot of dishes to do so… I'm going to go get started on that… you guys… have a great night." I turned around stiffly, walking away, then power walking, then jogging, then running as fast as I could away from them, taking the stairs two at a time down to the kitchen.

---

…I'm sorry I walked in on you unexpectedly

Sorry I didn't serve you both chamomile tea

And I'm sorry I couldn't always find a match

That could light a fire big enough for your

Heart to catch and

I'm sorry if it was my swerve that tempted you to sway

Oh well, sometimes it be that way…

Tonight's episode of The Real World: Kenshin contained music by Jewel.

On the next episode of RWRK: It's Kenshin's birthday and the boys are ready to party, but the tension between Kenshin and Kaoru is still thick, and the new work pair assignments only fan the flames… food fights and debauchery abound on The Real World: Kenshin!

CASTING CALL!

We want YOU to be our new Misao or Megumi!

What is Real World Kenshin?
Real World Kenshin, or RWRK, is a very large collaboration fanfiction where different writers take on a character (or characters). The story is set as if it were a season of the popular MTV reality TV series The Real World. The premise of the show is that 7 strangers are selected to live together and work together for six months, video-taped the entire time. This generally means lots of drama, hilarity, sex, and fighting, and RWKR is no different… except for the cast, that is.

Who Writes for RWRK?

In its four year history, hundreds and hundreds of pages have been written by a number of different authors spanning an age range of 10 years and hailing from five different countries. The group is very tight knit, and Ariane (Kaoru/Sano) and Rina (Kenshin/Aoshi), two of the writers from the conception of the story, even meet up once a year to go to an anime convention together. Join us!

How does it work?

When it is their turn, writers have 2 weeks to write their entry. This is usually done via e-mail, although for long pieces of dialogue writers will often meet on AOL Instant Messanger to write together in pairs or groups. The time commitment is not too steep, but if you cannot complete your entry within two weeks of being tagged you will be asked to leave the project. Exceptions are made on a case by case basis.

How do I sign up?
RWRK is currently looking for new writers for Megumi and Misao. First you should read episodes 1-5 (if you have not already) to familiarize yourself with the characters. Keep in mind that you do NOT need to keep characters as they are (in fact, we are hoping for a turn around for Misao…) but you need to have an idea of how you can change them in a gradual and believable way. These characters are flexible and solid plans have not been made for them (in terms of future goals, behavior, or even who they end up with) so there is a lot of room to have fun with these. We need enthusiastic, creative writers who want to work in a group.

If you're interested (and we hope you are!) please write an entry from the perspective of your character, half a page or more. The entry can take place anywhere in the series… from episode 1 to your vision of the season finale or beyond. It can have any other characters you like in it, dialogue or not. Have fun, try something new, we want to see these characters come alive!

Send entries as an attachment to (tanukibattousai at yahoo dot com ) with the subject line "I want to be Misao/Megumi!" (Choose one. You may try out for both, but you must submit two different entries.) Questions may be directed to the same address.

We will read entries until we find our new writers, and casting will end there. That means get your entry in as soon as possible!

We look forward to hearing from you!

Hugs,

Ariane (Kaoru/Sano)
Rina (Kenshin/Aoshi)
Melissa (Yahiko)