A/N:
This chapter will have a lot of… Kyo in it.
Somehow, I wonder why.
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I'm getting a tutor today.
Shigure-Sex-Fiend-Man said that I'm not smart enough to keep Akito happy.
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So then I went to visit Akito.
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"What do you want, scumbag?"
"Akito, why am I stupid?"
"Because, 'stupidity killed the cat', didn't it?"
"I thought it was curiosity!"
"No. Curiosity was framed,"
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Hey!
They weren't lying when they said 'you learn something everyday'!
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I feel mighty good about myself now.
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"Stupid cat, keep ya pie hole shut!"
"GO AWAY, YA DAMN RAT!"
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Stupid Rat and his stupid stupidness.
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So, Shigure got me a double bed.
Wanna know why?
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I'll show you in a wicked flashback.
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"Guess what Kyo! If you get smarter, I get you a double bed!"
"Yay! Then I can spread out and dance and jump and hump and…"
"Yes?"
"EVERYTHING!"
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So now my bed is my sanctuary.
All I have to do is drag it onto the roof.
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"Hey, Tohru?"
"Yes?"
"Can you please help me drag this bed onto the roof?"
"…"
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What? It's not like I'm gonna have sex with her on it where everyone can see!
Or maybe…
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"Don't even think about it!"
"Eep! Kagura!"
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You know, I used to be such a nice boy, before Kagura came.
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That reminds me of a song…
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It's called…
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"Yes?"
"Kick me when I'm High" (My fave song!)
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Yes, Dukoro-chan put that in this chapter because SHE likes it.
Bi-atch.
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You know what?
After I said that, a pair of imaginary hands shoved me down the stairs.
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Weird huh?
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DAMN YOU!
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"Kyo, are the voices haunting you again, with perverted words?"
"No… their hands are shoving me down the stairs!"
"There there… have an egg!"
"…"
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Why is Tohru such an idiot?
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MUSTANG, BABY, MUSTANG!
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Oh, right, I forgot.
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"Ahh! Kagura! Help me!"
"What Kyo, is someone trying to kill you? I'LL GET THEM!"
"Yes. The girl down the street keeps trying to hug me,"
"(goes to kill)"
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Ya know, maybe the occasional sex with Kagura pays off.
I have the best bodyguard.
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"Hey Kagura?"
"Yes, love?"
"Yuki keeps trying to kill me! I want you to boil him and serve him on a silver platter in his rat form!"
"….(does)"
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YAY!
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I feel like a superior idiot!
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Do you know how sexy the Simpsons are?
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I just love Bart.
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He's like, the roxxorx.
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"PLEASE REFRAIN FROM SAYING THAT AGAIN!"
"Oh, for the love of Ren's boob! Look, would you just shut up! Can't I get some privacy around here? Sheesh!"
"…(backs off)"
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That's it!
Go run to your mummy!
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Or my bedroom.
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A/N:
Poor Kyo.
He's such a… sexy loser.