A/N:
OKAY. READ THIS. IMPORTANT, SHOCK, GASP.
…Scared you.
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SCHOOL SUCKS.
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Just thought you might like to know.
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"I didn't, you asshole!"
"Shutup, Black Haru!"
"No!"
"Do I have to have sex with you to make you leave me alone?"
"No! You talk too much about sex!"
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That really opened my eyes.
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Maybe I should talk more about the REAL issues in life.
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"Kyo, the main reason people are born, is so they can procreate the species further."
"…Well, that settles it,"
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Now I know I was born for sex!
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"BOOORRRNNN TOOOO BEEE WIIIIILLLDDD!"
"…(shocked, rocked and rolled, dawg!)"
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I seem to be horrifying people more on this occasion.
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Well, at least I can say I can shock slash horror them more on Halloween.
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"How so, Kyo-SAN?"
"Wrong story, NARUTO-SAMA!"
"…Sama? Whoa. I feel like Akito!"
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Why does Naruto keep popping into this story?
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The mighty authoress has never even seen the anime or manga.
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THAT'S DEPRESSING.
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Just thought you might like to know.
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"No one wants to know!"
"Well, (scoff), SOOOOOORRRYYYY for living!"
"Yeah, you should be. If it wasn't for you, my wife would still be alive!"
"…You married my Mum, Ritsu?"
"…Yes"
"OMFGWTFBBQ!"
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Ritsu is my father.
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"Luke. I am your father,"
"My name is KYU"
"I didn't know your name was the number 9."
"It isn't! Spelling mistake!"
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Some people are so stupid.
I could just…
Just…
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Oh, I don't know.
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I will now kill you all with my super subliminal message attack.
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"uuuuuur der m4704… 57up1d 1 ere!111!1!1!eleven!11!"
"…"
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Maybe saying "You are the major stupid one here," isn't exactly… smart.
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IT ISN'T.
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Just thought you might like to know…
That…
In 3 chapters…
This story…
ENDS.
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"Gasp! Does it!"
"Yep. Mighty authoress is mighty sad. She mighty enjoyed writing this mighty silly fictionary"
"…"
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Fictionary!
It's the dictionary of fanfiction writers, which has idiocy, suspence and perverted innuendo's!
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FWEE!
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"Wow. This is so stupid,"
"Shut it, Yuki. You know you want a Fictionary."
"…I do?"
"YES"
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Help! I'm a porcupine!
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Just thought you might like to know.
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"I read in a fic once that cats have like, spine thingies on their 'unmentionables'. Kyo?"
"WHAT ARE YOU IMPLYING!"
"Can you please check inside your pants?"
"(does so)… (shock)"
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Now I really AM a porcupine.
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Freakish.
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THAT'S NOT THE TICKET.
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"What?"
"That's not the ticket I want. I need the one that takes me to Kyoto and/or Nara. I'm going on a school trip there, remember?"
"Kyo, that happened manga's ago. The newest (18) is coming out tomorrow,"
"And only in Australia!"
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Here that, you lousy Australians?
Manga 18.
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I BET YOU JUST WANT TO KNOW WHAT I AM DOING ALL DAY AND NIGHT.
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"I do,"
"Piss off Ritsu, you sick, twisted, monkey man!"
"…(hurt)"
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"That was mean,"
"YOU'RE THE FACE OF MEAN MAGAZINE, HATORI!"
"…(uber-sad)"
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Have YOU made Hatori sad today?
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Well… I have some interesting news.
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Shigure was running around the other day, yelling something remotely sounding like "Help, I'm on fire," or "Help, I'm a porcupine," or "I'm a spaghetti".
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If he was a porcupine, we could do some really kinky stuff.
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But I can't, because I'm cursed.
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So I slapped him upside the head instead.
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I'm a poet and I didn't know it!
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Yuki died because he got tongue tied (in my mouth)
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Shiggy is gay with Aya, a pole and… a pile of hay!
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Kagura is so mean that she uses Mr. Sheen (as deodorant, gasp!)
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I was arrested because Tohru isn't breasted!
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"…What the fuck?"
"Akito! You don't speak English anymore! Nooo000ooo000!"
"…"
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No wonder Yuki is afraid to admit he's related to me.
I'm just to sexy for everyone.
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"Hand shake?"
"Okay (reaches)"
"(snatches hand back and runs through hair)"
"…"
"TOO SEXY FOR YOU!"
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Yeah.
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I over heard this exact conversation between Tohru and Hana the other morning.
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"I lost my virginity to my boyfriend," (Hana)
"Yeah? Well, I lost my breasts to a pie!" (Tohru)
"…" (Hana)
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Unusually horny-fying.
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Yetti's turn me on.
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So.
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Badly.
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"Woo! I turn you on! Woo! (ghost sounds)"
"…Hiro, get out of that yeti costume,"
"(sad)"
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That makes me sad.
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Just thought you might like to know.
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A/N:
That was offending and shocking.
He he.
3 chapters to go!