A/N: I'm back! Mwahahahaha! Ok well, thanks for those of you that waited while I was M.I.A. So hmmm... I'm sorry I left you guys hanging for so long. And thanks to Invader Maz and Ryu for beta reading for me . Enough waiting! On to the disclaimer!

Disclaimer Thingy: Man, I really missed writing these... Well, I don't own any characters or themes that have anything to do with the TV show Invader Zim. I do own Kalli so please don't steal her... Thank you

Chapter 13

Faux High

Kalli tried to keep the faux-stoned Zim standing while she waited for Zim's "leaders" to pick up.

"Dammit" Kalli grunted as zim fell for the 7th time, "For such a "superior" race you sure don't have any balance..."

Unfortunately for Kalli, The tallest heard that.

"We can too balance. Right?" Purple whined to Red

"Hm? Oh yeah... Wait, what?" Red came into the picture on the transmission screen.

Kalli looked up at the screen.

'Thank GOD!' Kalli called for Gir who sauntered over with a jar of pickles. Kalli raised an eyebrow at the jar of pickles before tossing Zim over to Gir.

"Um... Hi" Kalli waved to the tallest who were looking at her withmild interest.

Purple gave an enthusiastic wave while Red just pretended to ignore her. Kalli had NO clue whatsoever on what she was going to say next. She really didn't think she's get this far.

"Did you want something?" Red asked after a long pause. he was surprised with how much venom was dripping from that simple question. Purple was rather impressed. Kalli... Not so much.

"Well Mr. High-And-Mighty! I was going to ask you for help. You're little "invader" here got addicted to WEED! And he bought Oregano, which is not weed, and decided to smoke it! He's not really high, but he sure as hell thinks he is!"

Purple and Red gave each other confused glances while Kalli paused for breath.

"Now he's acting like a vegetable so I thought that maybe you two would be able to slap some sense into him! He seems to only listen to you... Will you help him?" Kalli was panting while she waited for a response. What she got wasn't what she wanted.

Purple and Red busted up laughing Purple even fell out of his chair.

"You really think that we would help him!" Red managed to choke out between fits of laughter.

"Well, I did... until you two started laughing..." Kalli felt really stupid.

"Well, we won't... Red'll tell you why, it's a great story" Purple managed to tell her in between fits of laughter. Red stopped laughing and looked at Kalli.

"Well?" Kalli looked up at Red expectantly.

"I won't tell you..." Red said quietly

"Why?" Kalli Kept her gaze on him.

"Uh..." The Purple said when Red wouldn't answer.

"You see, it's just that... well it's uh... we need to go!"Purple yelled andRed had one of the assistants cut the transmission.

"Why couldn't you tell her the truth?" Purple questioned his comrade

"I... I-I just couldn't." Red stuttered. Purple decided that answer would have to do... for now. Red waited for Purple to turn the corner before he went the other way to his quarters.

'You're going soft! And for a human! What are you thinking? Why couldn't you just tell the human girl that you hate Zim and left him there to DIE!'Red answered his own question.

"Because she's friends with him... I didn't want to hurt her" Red collapsed on one of the red couches.

'I am going soft...'

Back at Zim's base

Kalli stared at the screen for a few minutes trying to piece together what just happened. She would've stood there for hours if it wasn't for Zim.

"Gir! What is this! Why does it hurt?" The invader shrieked.

Kalliremembered that when she threw Zim at Gir, Gir was holding a jar of pickles. Kalli turned to face the pair to find Zim writhing in agony, and in pickle juice. She looked at Gir, who was happily munching on a pickle.

"Glad you're back Zim..." was the last thing Kalli said before going back to her house. Once inside, she sat on the couch. It was then that what she just did really sunk in.

"Damn my life has gotten weird..." She got up and went to go get groceries.

A/n: Ooh... First I'd like to say that I'm really sorry if Red or Purple seemed ooc... It's really hard to write them. Oh and one more thing, I have many ideas churning in my head. But I still love it when you send me ideas, I try to use them somewhere. Well... I'm back... and it feels great!